Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
|
|
A rogue comet causes every machine on the planet to revolt against Mankind. ATMs can only display insulting messages, but tractor-trailers are capable of doing a lot more than calling surprised bank customers bad names.
Lesson Learned:
- Whoever said that the pen was mightier than the sword was never on the wrong end of a machinegun.
|  |
|
|
Remember how the mayor in "Jaws" was worried about the shark scaring off the tourists? This is the same movie. Just substitute "tarantulas" for "shark" and "oranges" for "tourists," and...well I guess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it?
Lesson Learned:
- Spider fangs cannot penetrate flannel.
|  |
|
|
The spirited exchanges between the hero and the villain are a treat, and the atmosphere is great, but what makes this movie special is the demon. It is a truly memorable addition to cinema's museum of monsters.
Lesson Learned:
- 80% of England is covered by wallpaper; 95% of that is ugly, 50% hideously so.
|  |
|
Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
|
|
|
|
| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
|
