Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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Welcome to the 10th anniversary of the B-Masters Cabal! You might think that the killer is a Rastafarian SCUBA diver (because we usually only see the feet), but this film really does feature a half man, half jellyfish monster.
Lesson Learned:
- Jellyfish kill their prey by suffocating them with guacamole.
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A SEAL officer assembles a team to stop his old partner from holding the United States hostage with two stealth nuclear missiles. The rogue ex-SEAL's island base is contaminated with methane gas so nobody can fire a weapon, everybody uses martial arts.
Lesson Learned:
- A female samurai's lethality is directly proportionate to her flexibility.
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Guest review by Circus Circus. This movie will prove to you that arm wrasslin' is a serious sport that is played by tough men who sweat and scream a lot.
Lesson Learned:
- Eating cigarettes and drinking motor oil will enhance your performance.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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