Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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A kung fu student must defeat gold, wood, water, fire, and earth ninjas in a movie that is wonderfully inventive, surprisingly bloody, and almost unbelievably fun.
Lesson Learned:
- Never let a ninja stand on your head.
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A giant gorilla destroys Seoul in this cheap Korean version of "King Kong." It also kills a harmless basking shark, wrecks a polio vaccine factory, and flips the bird at the audience. That monkey is a menace.
Lesson Learned:
- The dress code for Korean rice farmers is business casual.
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Who is Zebraman, the epitome of black and white ecstasy? He is like Batman, but with stripes. And he can fly (supposedly).
Lesson Learned:
- Gravity might be a harsh mistress, but Mother Earth is a sadistic, controlling b****h who doesn't know when to let go.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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