Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search



IMDb Logo
Internet Movie Database

SILENT HILL - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 2006 Silent Hill DCP Inc.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 8 October 2008

Capsule Review:    

Rose is terrified that what lurks in her adopted daughter's past might harm the child, so she loads the young girl into the family SUV and sets out to find the forgotten town of Silent Hill. What Rose should have done was to enroll the two of them in family counseling. The mother and daughter could have worked out their problems in brightly-lit meetings where everyone else claps after somebody breaks down crying (and then they enjoy tea and biscuits). Instead of enjoying group therapy, Rose finds herself lost in a supernatural wonderland.

However, and I must point this out, this is not "Alice in Wonderland." That movie features tea, and there certainly is not any tea in "Silent Hill." What can be found in Silent Hill is a mystery, along with a group of religious fanatics hiding in their own manufactured Purgatory. There is also a huge, hulking brute who walks around with a sword and the world's largest and least comfortable hat.

I have never played the games, but from an entertainment level standpoint, "Silent Hill" is one of the best game-to-movie adaptations I have ever seen. It had some very good atmosphere, such as the abandoned town and the "ash snowfall" that was both peaceful and ominous. Then there were the times when the bell would ring, and everything would turn into a twisted hell filled with bizarre denizens straight out of a nightmare.

My biggest complaint was that the movie felt like a video game too often. When the main character and the female police officer encountered those headless, goop-shooting things at the edge of town, I immediately figured it out. "Oh, this is one of those game limits that the designers put in place to discourage people from exceeding the world's design. Time to go back to the town and look around." The scene with the nurses also struck me as something that would fit perfectly in a video game. The story was also very disjointed, even after the doomed town's mystery was revealed, and that is probably the film's greatest failing. Still, plenty of weird visuals, but no tea.

Things I Learned From This Movie:  

Green Dot The first thing to do before adopting a child is to find a save point.
Green Dot Your tenth-grade geometry teacher did indeed go to Hell; he is bitter about that.
Green Dot Sometimes parenthood feels like hugging a bunch of blind, epileptic nurses who are carrying chef's knives in a dark hallway.
Green Dot There are only two ways to get out of Purgatory. Barbed wire is the hard way.

Stuff To Watch For:  

Green Dot 8 mins - Try getting her an aquarium. Kids love to watch fish, and fish rarely catch on fire.
Green Dot 44 mins - Once I had a nightmare that my bathroom was filled with hundreds of those little Scrubbing Bubbles chaps. I doubt any of those are going to show up here, but if they did, they would be angry.
Green Dot 87 mins - Chicken! Chicken! Bok-bok-bok-bok!
Green Dot 104 mins - Why has the Fraternal Order of Police been so wishy-washy about asbestos uniforms? What if this happens?


Rose: "What are you doing?"
Officer Bennett: "You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law."
Rose: "I don't think you understand. There's something weird going on here. My daughter, Sharon, she's in danger."
Officer Bennett: "If you really cared about that little girl you wouldn't have sped off."
Rose: "Listen to me: she's ill; she sleepwalks!"
Officer Bennett: "Just calm right down. I'm going to find the little girl!"

Detective Gucci: "November 74, when the fire caught, they tried to evacuate this place as quick as they could. It was hellish. People were dyin' and disappearing. Hell, they couldn't even find half the bodies. That was the end of Silent Hill. These were good people, most of 'em. Some of 'em you might say deserved it, little bit..."

Buy It Now Online:  

Buy it from   (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited   (United States)

Buy it from   (Canada)

Buy it from   (United Kingdom)

Share This Review:  

Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review     Digg This ReviewDigg This Review

Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2]
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #9. Posted on October 11, 2008, 08:23:41 AM by Psycho Circus
If guys who make video game adaptations followed the game's blueprints exactly, then I think they would still end up with a bad movie, but one that doesn't disappoint as many people who have played the games.
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #10. Posted on October 11, 2008, 12:06:04 PM by BTM
Although one thing I thought was kind dumb was how they changed the plot around from the game in the movie.  In the game, the religious order were NOT a big group of fundamentalist Christians, they were trying to bring about the rebirth of ancient, evil god by uniting the good part of the little girl with her evil doppelganger that was left in Silent Hill years ago.

Or something like that, I didn't to play the first game because I've never owned a Playstation.

I guess they changed it because of "simplicity" or because it's been in vogue for the past several decades in Hollywood to portray all persons of any sort of Judeo-Christian belief as complete wackjobs.

I hear they're doing a sequel, hope they base it on the second game (which I have played as it was released on the PC) which has a more coherent storyline.
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #11. Posted on October 14, 2008, 02:03:08 PM by HarlotBug3
If you haven't yet, I recommend this one for its relative originality. Pay attention, don't expect it to focus on any one game, don't expect any creature explanations beyond "the town's survivors are trapped in their own purgatory," and you'll enjoy it. 
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #12. Posted on October 14, 2008, 08:42:30 PM by Torgo
Considering that Roger Avary wrote the script, I was really appalled at how poorly written it turned out to be.
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #13. Posted on December 14, 2008, 12:26:58 PM by Ty Hardpeck
They tried to make the movie too good by having a plot that was deep and complicated. The end result was nobody got it. If they would have calmed it down a bit they could have had a great horror movie. I find it funny when people feel to be taken seriously they need to make things overly complicated. Then again, I can see the desire to make something complicated in order to separate this film form the video game to movie crap Uwe Bowl puts out.
Re: Silent Hill
Reply #14. Posted on December 18, 2008, 12:38:41 PM by Joe the Destroyer
I know so many bash it, but I love this movie!  Seriously.  I was actually not disappointed, and it was a bit freaky at points. 
Pages: 1 [2]

 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email

Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado


The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.