Alien 2: On Earth

[Andrew]

In this unauthorized Italian sequel to "Alien" a group of spelunking bowlers (Or are they bowling spelunkers?) discover that their favorite cave and favorite bowling alley are infested with alien monsters that hatch from rocks.

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[InformationGeek]

What a crappy cave movie.  Going back to watching The Cave!   

But seriously, I remember seeing another movie review for this movie a while back and the quality used for the clips were in much worse condition (I think he was using a VHS tape) compare to the ones you have.  Where did your get your footage and pics from?   Was there a DVD release of this thing?

One more thing, nice to see another review from you!

[Andrew]

What a crappy cave movie.  Going back to watching The Cave!   

But seriously, I remember seeing another movie review for this movie a while back and the quality used for the clips were in much worse condition (I think he was using a VHS tape) compare to the ones you have.  Where did your get your footage and pics from?   Was there a DVD release of this thing?

One more thing, nice to see another review from you!

Thank you!  It's good to be back and to be writing again.  Sometimes the Marine Corps throws a monkey wrench into my love for b-movies.

Midnight Legacy put out a beautiful DVD made from the 35mm negative in 2011.  The older version I knew of was a very poor VHS transfer, so this is a huge improvement.

[retrorussell]

Thanks for reviewing this movie, Andrew!  I actually had never heard of it until maybe a handful of years ago.  But I had a dream of a movie a lot like this before I stumbled upon it.  I dreamed there was a movie involving aliens and it was billed as a 'sequel' but wasn't really related to the movie it had in its title.  Oh, and that it was dark and violent.  Weird how sometimes you dream about little things that come true.  I'm pretty sure I didn't see a trailer for this as a 9-year old and the long-dormant memory resurfaced in a dream.

If I wasn't particularly crazy about The Descent, I bet I would really hate this.  I did once see a clip of the upside-down guy's head falling off, which I thought was cool.

[Kitten_Pie]

The man is back!

I've watched the MST3K on "deep hurting"...

This should be kryptonite for ANYONE. How is it that they both get their faces tentacled in the clip, but only Maureen has her eye ripped out??? Burt just looks like he lost a fight with a heapin' helpin' of ground beef.

You are spot on with the assessment on the hair. In the still of the old guy and I assume Thelma and Roy, Roy definitely has prettier hair. He's a mighty man-scaper that Roy!

Thanks again for the service and sacrifice you make for us sir.

Oh yeah and for serving in the Marines too!   

[BoyScoutKevin]

I like Italian films, as they may be some of the few that have less knowledge about georgraphy than we Americans. For example, this film.

Who mapped out the half-assed route in this film? I lived in San Diego, or near San Diego, for over twenty years, and you do not get to the desert by first going to the beach, nor do you get to the beach by going to the desert. They are in completely opposite directions.

Indeed, there is very little desert in San Diego county, and to find it, you have to go almost all the way out of the county, to the extreme northeast corner of the county. So, if you need to get back to civilization, almost the worst thing you can do is head back in a southwest direction to San Diego, because it is a two-hour drive one way. Civilization is alot closer in almost every other direction.

They did get one thing right. The roads do suck. They did not always suck, but the roadbuilders could not keep up with the increase in population, and thus in the increase in roads.

Anyway, it is good to see you back Andrew and writing more film reviews.

[retrorussell]

In this unauthorized Italian sequel to "Alien" a group of spelunking bowlers (Or are they bowling spelunkers?) discover that their favorite cave and favorite bowling alley are infested with alien monsters that hatch from rocks.

I hereby coin the term "bowlunkers".    It sure sounds stupid, but seems fitting for this movie.

[Trevor]

I hereby coin the term "bowlunkers".    It sure sounds stupid, but seems fitting for this movie.

I agree 

First of all, welcome back, Andrew! 

Secondly, great review!

Thirdly, when they were getting squished like that, what was that brown stuff? It looked like blood but its' color made me think it was............... ewwww...... 

[Killdozer]

Welcome back Andrew!!!!!

[yannick35]

You had to review that one didn't you.

What can i say, the director got balls to name this alien 2 on earth. I saw this movie on VHS back in 1985 i was 13 at that time, and it scared the hell out of me.

I never remembered the title of this movie worst is that the title was in french. Its when i saw the release on dvd of that movie last year that i learned its real title.

I bought the dvd and loved this really bad movie once more. Its not cheap on the gore effects, but its really lame for the first 30 minutes, what's up with all the bowling nonsense.

The movie deserves a 3 drops on the suck meter at least.