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September 25, 2018, 08:39:40 PM
606435 Posts in 46789 Topics by 6222 Members
Latest Member: naubinruben Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Dungeons & Dragons « previous next »
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Author Topic: Dungeons & Dragons  (Read 2588 times)
« on: June 19, 2003, 04:18:35 PM »

I'm quite surprised that no one's written a review on this sorry excuse for a movie.  Despite numerous warnings from my friends, I rented the DVD anyway, completely oblivious to the hell that I was about to put myself through.  I cringed at every retarded scene (I've never cringed so many times in one sitting), and for the entire first half of the movie I was muttering, "this sucks, but it HAS to get can't possibly get any worse..."  But it did.

I'm not kidding, either.  D&D robbed me of my sanity.

Great Sage
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2003, 04:44:49 PM »

Puahahaha.... I feel for you, man.  I had tried to stay away from this movie, but in the end I gave into temptation.  From the onset, I knew that this was a bad movie, but I still had some hopes... Unfortunately, my hopes were destroyed after viewing this garbage.

The story sucked, the actors sucked and the special effects sucked... End of story.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

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18 Year Veteran

« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2003, 05:07:22 PM »

When I first watched it I actually liked it.

After a second viewing I started to notice how ridiculous it was...especially Jeremy Irons over the top performance as Profion.

The guy who played the main hero looks like a pansy and wasn't convincing at all and I was glad when Marlon Wayans character dies.

Don't get me wrong..I like most of the Wayans brothers as actors but he was so damn annoying with that squealy-screechy whiny voice.

I'd like to put one of those 2-headed snakes in the directors head!
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2003, 10:40:19 PM »

What's most disappointing is that D&D is a huge game with many aspects to it...they had SO much to work with.

And yes, one of the worst aspects about the movie (the ridiculous plot and crappy CG aside) was that it was WAY overacted...ESPECIALLY the part of the main villain.


Damn, shut up already!

« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2003, 10:52:54 PM »


> I'd like to put one of those 2-headed snakes in the directors
> head!

Take a number.

Like I said before, what's most disappointing is that D&D is a deep, complex game...they had SO much interesting material to work with...and they totally blew it.  The movie was almost NOTHING like the game at all.  Even the dragons, the creatures that were supposed to be the focus of the movie, didn't really have all that big of a part.  Instead, the plot ended up centering around a bunch of idiots on some silly quest.

For the D&D movie to have been decent, it really needed to be done on a LOTR scale -- huge budget and scripted/directed by people who know what they're doing.

Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

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« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2003, 10:48:28 AM »

Am I the only one who though, that among many other negative things, it is a "Star Wars rip-off? C'on, the flying dragons battle, the duel between the good and the bad magician holding sticks (or were they swords?) of different colours, the annoying comic sidekicks, the tomboy princess? Anybody? Anybody? I almost expected Irons to say "I am your father" in the final duel.


Due to the horrifying nature of this film, no one will be admitted to the theatre.
« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2003, 02:00:40 PM »

Marlon Wayans did made the movie worth watching... and once he dies it turned into total crap...
Fearless Freep
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« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2003, 02:02:05 PM »

Think I'll make a double bill of this and "Reign Of Fire" :)


Going places unmapped, to do things unplanned, to people unsuspecting
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It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2003, 02:12:03 PM »

Maybe it's a sign of my taste (or lack thereof), but I actually like DUNGEONS & DRAGONS.  Sure, it's bad, but it's entertaining bad.  Then again, I like the DEATHSTALKER movies too.
« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2003, 05:39:10 PM »

My friends are thinking of MYSTing that movie someday.  (Snakes pop out of the evil bald guys ears)   "Oh man, my cat had those once!"  "This movie.... (rolls dice)  .... Sucks!"
       I might disagree with you on the "Star Wars" rip off, as both are quest stories using the same archetypes.  On the other hand, they dropped an iron gate on a dragon to kill it, a show of hands of all who have seen something like that before?  and what movie did you see it in?  #3 ?  Good...
       Making the movie with less D&D terminology than most sci-fi conventions would have improved it.  To quote  "Oh my god!  This movie has made me so angry, I have actualy turned green and doubled in mass!  GRAAAAA!  HULK SMASH STUPID MOVIE!"

-----ooo-'U'-ooo------Kilroy was here.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

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« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2003, 04:33:26 PM »

>On the other hand, they dropped an iron gate on a dragon to kill it, a show of
>hands of all who have seen something like that before? and what movie did you
>see it in?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, episode 3.1 - Anne, except that it was a humanoid demon.
Dr. Whom
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Cthulhu for president! Why choose the lesser evil?

« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2008, 03:51:28 PM »

I'd rather revive an old thread that start a completely new one.

I watched half of it the other night. The DVD started acting funny half way through. Either that, or my DVD player has developed consciousness and couldn't take it no longer.

To be fair, I've seen worse, but on this forum, that is not saying much. One rarely sees a movie that so utterly fails to create any narrative suspense whatsoever.

"Once you get past a certain threshold, everyone's problems are the same: fortifying your island and hiding the heat signature from your fusion reactor."

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
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