Article: Do you have a zombie plan? (Pt 2)

[Rick]

When the zombie apocalypse comes, I'm hiding at work.  Even zombies aren't stupid enough to look for brains in this place!

[Steve Condrey]

When the zombie apocalypse comes, I'm hiding at work.  Even zombies aren't stupid enough to look for brains in this place!

In that case, with the number of inbred white trash morons I live around I'm safe doing absolutely nothing.  Either no zombies will go near this town or the onslaught is already happening...I can't decide which.

[Jack]

I always wondered - what happens to zombies in the winter?  If a living person walks around outside with no coat and it's about 10 or 20 degrees, they eventually freeze, and then they freeze solid.;  I would think it would be even worse for zombies, being dead in the first place. 

Do I need to worry about zombies in Minnesota in the winter? 

[Patient7]

I always wondered - what happens to zombies in the winter?  If a living person walks around outside with no coat and it's about 10 or 20 degrees, they eventually freeze, and then they freeze solid.;  I would think it would be even worse for zombies, being dead in the first place. 

That's got me thinking, wouldn't zombies eventually rot away, especially the brain, after a couple weeks?  Considering tha amount of abuse the dead flesh would take from nature and people, a zombie apocalypse could last maybe a month if people play it smart.  A year if all the people left were the one's who figured out what to do instead of running around like a bunch of idiots.

[Andrew]

I always wondered - what happens to zombies in the winter?  If a living person walks around outside with no coat and it's about 10 or 20 degrees, they eventually freeze, and then they freeze solid.;  I would think it would be even worse for zombies, being dead in the first place. 

Do I need to worry about zombies in Minnesota in the winter? 

Good point.  They should freeze - unless they were created by a chemical that also functions as antifreeze.  At least the odds are in your favor that a zombie-causing chemical would not also convey antifreeze properties.

[Kutter]

And always remember, if your signifigant other has an issue with you stockpiling for a zombie apocolypse, you can always use another (less terrifying) disaster as an excuse.  Hurricanes work well if you live in a coastal state, as the preparations are nearly identical.  Other kinds of wind storms also work, though they might need some logical twisting (your house probably isn't gonna stand up to a tornado, no matter how well the windows are boarded).  Wildfires and earthquakes can be harder to rationalize, in which case you need to gloss over the actual disaster and focus on the possible lawlessness and lack of basic services immediately following it.

Also, a generator seems like an attractive option during the zombie attack, but I would skip it.  The noise will draw zombies for miles, and gasoline neither stores very long or will be easy to get.  Plus, you'll have to keep the thing outside, which is where you don't want to be going. 

Now if I could only keep people from relying on them after storms so that I don't have to wait in 2 hour gas lines to buy gas so I can get to work.

[Terf]

That's got me thinking, wouldn't zombies eventually rot away, especially the brain, after a couple weeks?  Considering the amount of abuse the dead flesh would take from nature and people, a zombie apocalypse could last maybe a month if people play it smart.  A year if all the people left were the one's who figured out what to do instead of running around like a bunch of idiots.

That's true. Unless Romero or Russo intended the zombies to be able live forever, logically they'd eventually die with no new flesh or brains to consume. The trick is to blast your way out of any cities and get into the wilderness or the Arctic Circle...

[Tuan Jim]

"World War Z" by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks  ) covers frozen zombies and surviving in the Great White North pretty well (supposed to be adapted to a film someday).

Corned beef hash isn't one of the current 24 MRE "flavors" - thank God!

[Phantazm]

Hmmmmmmm.... so the hot MILF is now a naked zombie.... but she's still hot... Couldn't I just trap her, wash her, gag her and tie her hands and feet and have my way with her and then cave her head in with a hammer?

Disturbing as that sounds, I don't think it quite qualifies as "necrophilia."  Congratulations!  You just discovered a new disorder.  Or fetish.  Or something.  I'm gonna name it after you, but I call dibs on the next one.

[DTVidman]

You know, everyone is worried about surviving the zombie apocalypse, yet I find worrying about fleshy-headed mutants to be more of a worry.  Zombies are slow, self-decaying (except in the case of the aforementioned WORLD WAR Z), and can be dealt with more readily I think with a more mobile-mindedness.  I suggest a vehicle that is well suited for a long haul.  A gas truck will do.  It carries its own supply of fuel, is slow but steady, and is damned hard to get into if you have complete function of your body (worse I'm sure if you are a stumbling dead thing that announces itself with a moan and the sickly-sweet smell of decay).  But fleshy-headed mutants.  Man, those things are going to be a real problem.  I used this excuse for everything with my first wife (which may explain why she isn't still my wife, though we're shockingly good friends now) from stockpiles of old Famous Monsters of Filmland magazines to why we shouldn't throw away our old clothes when we grew out of them.  Fleshy-headed mutants, guys.  I'm telling you, it's something to think about.

[DoctorMcShocker]

While the hammer is effective, I personally think it is much better to always carry an array of different sized crowbars. Also everyone needs a crossbow.

[whitelion43]

  There are alien, werewolf, vampire, and even Innsmouth plans in the future.  All of them need more work.  I just got rolling with the zombie plan part 2, so I went with it.
  I need all of these things as I live in a seaside town. also I need a Kaiju plan as well
             David G