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October 21, 2017, 10:55:54 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 159752 times)
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #525 on: August 20, 2016, 01:25:34 PM »

THE SHE CREATURE

Carny: I knew her when she was a carnival follower. Every time we hit a new town, she's be there.
TOM: So she's a carnival preceder.

Leering Hero: Maybe we could talk about over a cup of coffee.
Busty love interest in low cut blouse: I'd like that.
TOM: Would you like a C-cup or D-cup of coffee?

MIKE: If I ever wanted to put a movie into a stump grinder, this is the one.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #526 on: August 27, 2016, 11:33:53 AM »

I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF

[Title comes up]
TOM: You are not drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, young man, you're just not old enough!
[P.S. I think they did a joke about every single lyric in "Werewolves of London" in this episode.]

[Lame 50s jazz-rock plays at a teen dance]
CROW: They're listening to 'Kind of White.'

TOM: Doctor, I found letterman's jacket in my stool!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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« Reply #527 on: August 28, 2016, 07:39:34 AM »

Just a heads up-if you get COMET TV on yer cable-starting Sept.8 they're going to have the old MSTK3000 reruns-MANOS is first on the list-I forget the second feature-2 are going to run back to back on Sundays.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

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Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #528 on: October 01, 2016, 01:32:57 PM »

AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.

[At the 25 minute mark]
TOM: By this time in a James Bond movie there'd have been ten helicopter explosions, eight ski chases...
MIKE: Yeah, this spy movie is just kind of content hanging around the house.

Spy: “You think that this is America…Mom`s apple pie and all that jazz? Well, my job is to keep the apple pie on the table, and nobody asks me how I do it!”
MIKE (as science guy): "I'll just need an hour to figure out your metaphor."

[Bikini double agent Ava makes out with spy, then walks away and looks over her shoulder]
Ava: "Are you coming, or do I swim alone?"
CROW: Yes, and yes!




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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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« Reply #529 on: October 24, 2016, 01:46:35 AM »

WEREWOLF

Crow: [hearing a door closing] That was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.

 TeddyR TeddyR

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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #530 on: November 19, 2016, 01:48:24 PM »

PUMAMAN

[Sydne Rome is having trouble sticking an emotion]
TOM: "Now I'm confused. Now I'm happy!"

MIKE: Help, I'm falling at a sixty degree angle defying all the laws of physics!

TOM: Great: bending metal doors, no problem, subduing stocky senior citizens, that's another story!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #531 on: January 15, 2017, 09:59:56 PM »

"Robot Rumpus"

TOM: Aw, I was hoping this would be about robot rump.

THE SCREAMING SKULL

CROW: Can I help you, movie lady? You need a push or something?

CROW: Remember folks, if you die of boredom you do NOT get a free coffin.

TOM: Alas, poor Yorick; she threw him well.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #532 on: March 18, 2017, 02:50:41 PM »

IT LIVES BY NIGHT

[remarking on the very thin lead actress' resemblance to a certain TV icon]
MIKE: Mary Tyler Less.

Wife: "It's nothing but an allergic reaction!"
TOM: Shellfish makes me turn into a bat!

CROW: I was just pimp-slapped by a bat, how the hell do I put that in a report?
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #533 on: April 06, 2017, 01:13:06 PM »

A Case of Spring Fever

CROW: How does Coily fit into God's plan for us?

SQUIRM

Mother: I just don't want you to be too disappointed if he doesn't come.
CROW: Mother! That's private!

Nick: Remember what I told you...
CROW: In the north, I'm considered very handsome.

TOM: Stop having worms in your body, you idiot!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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« Reply #534 on: April 08, 2017, 12:30:17 AM »

Small | Large

Really the highlight til the end.

From Space Mutiny:
During the opening credits:
Mike: Passed from editor to editor in a desperate attempt to save it.

David Ryder: Listen, lady!

Lea Jansen: Doctor!

David Ryder: Doctor!

Crow: Doctor Lady!


Mc Pherson: Gentlemen, it seems we are not all in agreement.

Mike Nelson: I disagree!


[the camera pans over a character that died in the previous scene]

Mike Nelson: Hey... Hey, she's dead! She died!

Tom Servo: Wow...

Captain Devers: Sir...

Crow: I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance!
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yeah no.
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #535 on: April 08, 2017, 02:06:51 PM »

DIABOLIK

[In Diabolik's lair]
TOM: Did you really need this much stuff to get some tail in the 60s? I thought a hi-fi would be enough.

Eva [to the inspector]: Please, let me have a moment with him alone.
MIKE: Well, you guys have never tricked me before, so I guess it's OK.

CROW [commenting on Michel Piccoli]: He's basically an eyebrow-delivery system.

I wonder if everyone is suddenly going to chime in all at once next week with riffs from the upcoming season once it's up on Netflix?
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #536 on: April 15, 2017, 04:36:36 PM »

REPTILICUS

[The location title "Copenhagen" flashes on screen]
CROW: We interrupt REPTILICUS, already in progress, to bring you COPENHAGEN, the movie!

Soldier: He's headed for the beach!
JONAH: On a weekday? Must be nice.

[Shot of crowds fleeing the monster]
JONAH: Run! They're screening REPTILICUS, save yourself!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #537 on: April 22, 2017, 03:31:48 PM »

CRY WILDERNESS:

[Shot of middle-aged biker dude]
CROW(?): This guy needs more ways to cover his face, like another eye patch, a different bandana, and a second beard.

[Shot of a tiger]
CROW?: I'm as surprised I'm in this movie as you are, folks.

CROW: Dad, do you now what happened to the last man who crossed me? I left him crawling in the lake with no eyeballs.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #538 on: April 29, 2017, 12:24:53 PM »

TIME TRAVELERS

CROW: I'm actually traveling through time now at the rate of one hour per hour.

[After hot future girl hits on nerdy present guy]
JONAH: Dear "Time Traveler Forum," I never thought that this would happen to me...

TOM?: And like a true hero, Steve gingerly makes his way to the back.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Trevor
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« Reply #539 on: May 03, 2017, 02:26:09 AM »

CRY WILDERNESS:

CROW: Dad, do you now what happened to the last man who crossed me? I left him crawling in the lake with no eyeballs.

 Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

Now I really want to see the new MST3K  Thumbup
Logged

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
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