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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 159699 times)
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #540 on: May 06, 2017, 02:19:52 PM »

AVALANCHE:

TOM: So now we're seeing collateral deaths from just the idea of an avalanche?
CROW: What's next, somebody cutting their finger on the newspaper reading about it?

Rock Hudson: The boy is safe. Let go!
CROW: Let go or the boy dies!

CROW: Dear trip advisor: found cheerleader in my salad. Waitstaff refused to help. 1 out of 5 stars.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #541 on: May 13, 2017, 05:26:01 PM »

THE BEASTS OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN

[Old Mexican drunk appears]
JONAH: So THAT's what happened to the most interesting man in the world.

TOM: I told him I wanted him to leave, why isn't he staying? I guess I just don't get men.

?: Changing my Facebook status to "orphan."
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #542 on: May 20, 2017, 02:09:25 PM »

STARCRASH

JONAH: I feel like I'm watching a community theater production of "Guardians of the Galaxy."

CROW: L's been so much more assertive since he died!

JONAH: Good thing I have eye-magic! Did I not mention that before? Well, I do.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #543 on: May 27, 2017, 02:16:56 PM »

THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT

TOM: The German sailor comes out of his hole. If he sees his shadow, we'll have three more weeks of war.

CROW: The land that time forgot... to edit.

JONAH: It seems the real dinosaur was man.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #544 on: June 03, 2017, 12:08:50 PM »

THE LOVES OF HERCULES

TOM: "The Loves of Hercules": a Greco-Romantic comedy.

[A bull is charging Jayne Mansfield]
CROW: He'll bounce right off you!

JONAH (in "mom" voice): Hercules Anthony Jupiter, you get back here!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
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B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #545 on: June 10, 2017, 03:59:23 PM »

YONGARY

CROW: Did you try yelling "capsule"? That sometimes works.

Young scientist: Icho, where have you been?
Icho: Watching Yongary.
JONAH: It's not very good.

TOM: Gentleman, the situation is dire, sure, but why are we collecting our pee?
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Trevor
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« Reply #546 on: June 12, 2017, 03:16:24 AM »

YONGARY

TOM: Gentleman, the situation is dire, sure, but why are we collecting our pee?

 Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #547 on: June 17, 2017, 01:07:38 PM »

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM

[Poorly choreographed fight scene]
TOM: Got some smutz on my sword, I'm just going to wipe it on your back... there.

[Seductive with feeds hero bright green potion]
TOM: Can I tempt you with some Robitussin?

[Tender separation scene]
CROW: Oh Golfax, you haven't protected me or done anything to further the plot or the action, but I'll really miss you!
« Last Edit: June 24, 2017, 01:29:02 PM by Rev. Powell » Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #548 on: June 24, 2017, 01:27:02 PM »

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM 2

TOM: Kids come running for the great taste of millet!

Wizard to Amazon Princess: "His quest is to save the three kingdoms."
CROW?: And to strike out with every feather-haired blond.

Disembodied voice that sounds like Don Pardo: "The darkness threatens to engulf you..."
TOM: With musical guest Men at Work, and your host, Steve Martin!
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Trevor
South African Film Activist & Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1258
Posts: 14344



WWW
« Reply #549 on: June 29, 2017, 03:09:50 AM »

WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM

[Poorly choreographed fight scene]
TOM: Got some smutz on my sword, I'm just going to wipe it on your back... there.


 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #550 on: July 01, 2017, 02:36:02 PM »

CARNIVAL MAGIC

[Kissing scene on "skating" date]
CROW: Jonah, is this skating?
JONAH: Yeah, it's tongue skating.

Evil doctor: "Vivisection is a dirty word, but it's necessary in order to solve problems that must be solved.
CROW: Can't argue with that logic, cut 'im up!

Dumb girlfriend: Are they going to hurt him?
CROW: Or is this one of those pain-free monkey vivisection clinics we've been reading about?
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #551 on: July 08, 2017, 03:22:05 PM »

THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T

JONAH (as lawyer): By the way, Santa, everything since we've met has been billable hours.

Prune: "I've been running away from children my whole life."
CROW: As required by the court order.

CROW: Man, I think I hate kids now, too. I'm down with Prune.
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #552 on: July 15, 2017, 07:47:31 PM »

AT THE EARTH'S CORE

TOM: Being the chivalrous gentleman, David traps his fellow slaves with their captors in a room full of lava.

[Doug sneaks past sleeping monsters]
JONAH: Looks like we caught a lucky break. Puppeteers must be at lunch.

[During bloody fight scene with monster]
CROW: Oh Doug, no! There's a guy in there! Stop it! Seriously, that's his blood! Doug, stop it!
JONAH: Can somebody yell 'cut'?
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2166
Posts: 17892


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #553 on: September 02, 2017, 01:49:37 PM »

BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET

CROW: It's that thing again! That thing that's driving the plot... into nowhere...

[Girl falls from high building presumably to her death]
CROW: Ooo, she missed the pool. That's going to effect her score.

TOM: Did ancient astronauts wear Lee Press-On Nails?
Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Trevor
South African Film Activist & Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1258
Posts: 14344



WWW
« Reply #554 on: September 05, 2017, 07:20:41 AM »

AT THE EARTH'S CORE
[Doug sneaks past sleeping monsters]
JONAH: Looks like we caught a lucky break. Puppeteers must be at lunch.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Pages: 1 ... 35 36 [37] 38
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