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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Twilight Saga: Eclipse « previous next »
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Author Topic: Twilight Saga: Eclipse  (Read 1761 times)
A.J. Bauer
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« on: February 05, 2010, 10:03:00 PM »

http://www.movieweb.com/movie/FIoLrssvSlvBsp <--- Information

NO! OH GOD NO! NO! NONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOO!

WHY?! WHY?!?! HOW DOES PATTERSON HAVE A CARRIER?!
He should have slipped through the cracks after Harry Potter 4!
This is a disgrace to the film industry! Bram Stoker is turning in his grave!
How dare they release this film so soon! I live in Minnesota! You know what that means!
More screaming fangirls crowding the Mall of America! My ears could hardly take the New Moon audience!
Twilight completely over-shadowed the Boondocks Saints audience! Bless Troy Duffy's heart for showing us talent! But it would dare be over-shadowed by the works of a talentless HACK!
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nilbog
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« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2010, 10:59:19 PM »

Yeah I know! This is a true travesty.

They filmed this piece of crap before New Moon had even come out.

Thinking positively - at least New Moon was pretty much the peak of interest and popularity for this series. Their marketing strategy (oversaturation/keeping them in tabloids always) isn't actually sustainable, so each one from now on should make less money than the previous - even if it is just by a small amount.

Even more positively - just think that since they are releasing these faster, they run out of source material much sooner!

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metalmonster
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« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2010, 07:53:34 PM »

Since Most People Have An Attention Span That Can Only Be Measured In Nanoseconds Hollywood Probably Wants To Get These Movies Out As Fast As They Can Before People Forget About Them


I Personally Can't Wait Till It's All Over And Robert Pattinson Becomes Another Washed Up Actor On CELEBRITY REHAB
« Last Edit: February 07, 2010, 07:55:37 PM by metalmonster » Logged
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2010, 08:50:35 PM »



Even more positively - just think that since they are releasing these faster, they run out of source material much sooner!



My thoughts exactly: let's get this over with as soon as possible. 
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Mr. DS
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« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2010, 10:04:04 PM »

Ok I should say I'm probably going to get dragged to this one by my wife.  I've already told her, after enduring the first two, that I really could give a sh*t less about any of the characters in the film.  Although I will say New Moon was much better plot wise than Twilight.  But, this frickin' story as a whole is absolutely ridiculous.  I have no damn clue how or why Stephanie Myers is a millionaire from writing this sh*t.  I have a feeling that Myers was probably the unpopular girl in her school and longed to be with the good looking rich bad boy.  However, she probably ended up with the down to earth fellow instead.  Now we get to hear about her "what could have been" tale of vampires and werewol...er..."shapeshifters".  I'm sorry Ms. Myers, you blow as a writer.

However, I will say they've made for great review material on my site.  The plot is just filled with so much horsesh*t that I would insist (make that dare) members of this board to take on at least the first film.  I mean even fans of the book series panned that sh*t.  

As for Robert Pattinson, he basically ruins any kind of likability that Edward should (I guess) have.  He is dull, listless and couldn't deliver a decent line of dialog even if there was a gun to his head.  He draws no chemistry from his supporting cast and Taylor Lautner (Jacob) simply blows him away.  I understand that aspect isn't hard to do with Pattinson in the cast but I can actually see a future for young Lautner in acting.   I should point out Edward is supposed to be the one we're happy seeing Bella with but it just backfires on screen in an epic "FAIL".  By the way, Kristen Stewart went to the same acting school as Pattinson I'm guessing because her character is gravely unlikeable too.  

Bottom line, this series (well from what I hear from my wife/other Twi-tards as I call them) is going to be a pinnacle of awfulness by the last one.  I mean seriously enough for me to shout "ARE YOU TWI-TARDS F*CKING KIDDING ME" opening night in the theater.  

« Last Edit: February 07, 2010, 10:12:40 PM by The DarkSider » Logged

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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2010, 10:08:51 PM »

Ok I should say I'm probably going to get dragged to this one by my wife.

Wait, DarkSider, are you actually married to a 14-year old girl?    Buggedout
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Mr. DS
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« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2010, 10:11:38 PM »

Ok I should say I'm probably going to get dragged to this one by my wife.

Wait, DarkSider, are you actually married to a 14-year old girl?    Buggedout
BounceGiggle
Rev I have to say that a common misconception of this Twi-tardation is its all teens reading.   I'd say theres double the number of 20 to 40 something female buying into this horsesh*t.
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DarkSider's Realm
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"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall
Paquita
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« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2010, 10:24:54 PM »

I don't know one girl that has read the books or seen the movies that doesn't love it.  I'm seriously afraid of twilight..I'm afraid it has some crazy mind control that only affects females.  My friend told me she saw one of the movies and didn't care for it so I thought there was hope.. but today, I went to her house, and she had a box of the Twilight conversation hearts!!  The same ones I got at work from the twi-hard girl that's been trying to force me into her coven of douchey vampire garbage!!!  I didn't ask her about them, I wasn't ready to hear the answer. 
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2010, 10:28:21 PM »

Ok I should say I'm probably going to get dragged to this one by my wife.

Wait, DarkSider, are you actually married to a 14-year old girl?    Buggedout
BounceGiggle
Rev I have to say that a common misconception of this Twi-tardation is its all teens reading.   I'd say theres double the number of 20 to 40 something female buying into this horsesh*t.

Well, I guess the gals probably think the same thing about adult males going to see movies about giant robots that transform into common objects. (Do the transformer movie robots really fold up into giant cell phones and things?)

I made the mistake of going out to the movies one night during TWILIGHT 2's opening week.  I had no idea where all the teenage girls had come from, so I had to ask what they were lined up for, then it clicked when the ushed told me.  I swear, if you were a 14-16 year old boy that was the place to be that night.  I can't imagine an adult going to see the movie with that crowd.  Maybe reading the books and watching the DVDs, though.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
Mr. DS
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Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!


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« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2010, 10:34:08 PM »

Paquita...there is no way an intelligent lady like yourself could fall head over heals for such cinematic idiocy.   Watch the first one and you'll note that it is B-tastic.  In the spirit of lessons learned on this site, here is some random facts one should take in while watching these movies.  I will not add humor to these because they're funny enough on their own...

1.) Vampires only play baseball during thunderstorms.
2.) Vampires sparkle in the sun.
3.) Vampires constantly have to repeat the 12th grade to fit into society.
4.) The color of a vampire's eyes depends on what type of blood they drank that morning.
5.) Vampire activity is controlled by a council of 3 vampires in Italy.
6.) The only vampire rule that is enforced is "don't make a spectacle out of yourself".
7.) Certain Native Americans double as werewolves to police vampire activity.
8.) Said werewolves have a body temperature of 108.  
9.) The length of fur on said werewolves depend on how long their hair is in human form.
10.) Said werewolves keep a pair of shorts handy at all times for when they transform back.

Theres more but I'll stop.
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DarkSider's Realm
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/

"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall
A.J. Bauer
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Posts: 2855



« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2010, 11:04:19 PM »

Eh... I think I'm better off seeing Underworld 4(Real). If I want to see vampire vs werewolves, I'm better off seeing the matrix-like version. In America, guns make anything better.
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nilbog
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« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2010, 11:42:27 PM »

Eh... I think I'm better off seeing Underworld 4(Real). If I want to see vampire vs werewolves, I'm better off seeing the matrix-like version. In America, guns make anything better.

Agreed.
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