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November 19, 2017, 04:57:28 PM
586792 Posts in 45205 Topics by 5994 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 95140 times)
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #660 on: September 28, 2017, 11:37:26 AM »

How'd they know Hugh Hefner was dead?

He went stiff without a viagra.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
javakoala
Hermit of Horror
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Does ANYBODY remember this guy?


WWW
« Reply #661 on: September 28, 2017, 05:07:20 PM »

How'd they know Hugh Hefner was dead?

He went stiff without a viagra.

How long have you been sitting on that one?
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ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 641
Posts: 3809


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #662 on: September 28, 2017, 06:20:57 PM »

How'd they know Hugh Hefner was dead?

He went stiff without a viagra.

How long have you been sitting on that one?
Shrug, it just came to me.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
AoTFan
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 101
Posts: 874



« Reply #663 on: September 30, 2017, 10:08:42 PM »

Did you know that sometimes teachers make great hookers?  Because you know teachers, they make you do stuff over and over again until you get it right. TeddyR
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El Misfit
Possible sex dungeon mistress
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 862
Posts: 11510


Hi there!


« Reply #664 on: October 01, 2017, 12:04:49 PM »

Someone broke in to my house and stole my limbo trophy. Just how low can they go?
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yeah no.
AoTFan
Bad Movie Lover
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« Reply #665 on: October 11, 2017, 09:04:41 PM »


Why does Harvey Weinstein always cry during sex?

Because of the mace.
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El Misfit
Possible sex dungeon mistress
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 862
Posts: 11510


Hi there!


« Reply #666 on: October 17, 2017, 08:03:11 PM »

Balloons take up more space relative to their cost than any other products sold in the last century, adjusted for inflation.

Hitler went to a fortuneteller and asked her "On which day will I die?" The seeress assured him that he will die on a Jewish holiday. "Why are you so sure of that?" demanded Hitler. "Any day", she replied, "on which you die will become a Jewish holiday."
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yeah no.
Dark Alex
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Apparently I am very Dark and very Alex.


« Reply #667 on: October 26, 2017, 01:48:06 PM »

I went to see a hypnotists show last night. At one point he had seven guys hypnotised. Then he accidently dropped his mike on his foot and yelled "f**k ME!"

What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
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Having listened to your problems, I have decided I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Trevor
South African Film Activist & Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
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WWW
« Reply #668 on: October 27, 2017, 07:10:42 AM »

I went to see a hypnotists show last night. At one point he had seven guys hypnotised. Then he accidently dropped his mike on his foot and yelled "f**k ME!"

What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.

LOL: I needed that laugh.  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

Hopefully they were all hunks  Wink
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Pacman000
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« Reply #669 on: October 27, 2017, 12:06:02 PM »

"Do you always Nickle and Dime everyone?"

"Yes sir; this is a five and ten cent store."
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AoTFan
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 101
Posts: 874



« Reply #670 on: November 05, 2017, 12:57:02 AM »

A guy is sitting at a bar in the Penthouse on the 30th floor of a fancy hotel.  A woman walks up to him and says, "Hey, sailor, what cha drinking?"

"Oh, nothing," the guy replies, "Except for this... magic beer!"

"What?" the girl says, incredulous.  "No way!"

"Yes," the guy says, "I'm dead serious.  This beer is MAGIC.  What this." 

The guy downs the rest of his beer, runs over to a nearby window, opens it, jumps out and starts FLYING around.  After about a minute, he comes back in.

"WOW!" says the girl, "That's amazing!  I want to try some of that!"

"Barkeep!" says the man, "Give the lady one of what I'm having."

The barkeep comes over and gives the lady a beer.  She promptly downs it, runs over to the windows,  yells, "Watch me!" and jumps out.

She then promptly falls into the ground below.

The barkeeper sighs heavily and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real a***ole when you're drunk!"
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BoyScoutKevin
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Posts: 4108


« Reply #671 on: Today at 02:48:28 PM »

A guy is sitting at a bar in the Penthouse on the 30th floor of a fancy hotel.  A woman walks up to him and says, "Hey, sailor, what cha drinking?"

"Oh, nothing," the guy replies, "Except for this... magic beer!"

"What?" the girl says, incredulous.  "No way!"

"Yes," the guy says, "I'm dead serious.  This beer is MAGIC.  What this." 

The guy downs the rest of his beer, runs over to a nearby window, opens it, jumps out and starts FLYING around.  After about a minute, he comes back in.

"WOW!" says the girl, "That's amazing!  I want to try some of that!"

"Barkeep!" says the man, "Give the lady one of what I'm having."

The barkeep comes over and gives the lady a beer.  She promptly downs it, runs over to the windows,  yells, "Watch me!" and jumps out.

She then promptly falls into the ground below.

The barkeeper sighs heavily and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real a***ole when you're drunk!"

I haven't seen it, but from what I read of the reviews so far, the latest "Justice League" would drive anyone to drink, even Superman.
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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