The 5,000 Fingers of Dr T (1953)
O
M
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I have a cold: the meds I took wore off in the night and I awoke coughing, so I headed downstairs to re-dose myself. I sat down to watch some TV as I waited for the medicine to kick in. Caught the last 30 minutes of this one - just as the 'Dungeon Song' began. Good lord!!! I did not know if I was sleep-deprived or the meds were making me trip out!!! I sat mesmerized in stunned disbelief. THIS was from 1953???
When I tuned in the protagonists are in a rusty elevator operated by an executioner (bucket-shaped knit cap with eye slits, stripy stretch pants, oiled torso and bass voice) who sings out the features of the dungeons as they descend - like the elevator operators of old, enumerating the wares of the department store floors as they approach:
FIRST FLOOR DUNGEON
Assorted simple tortures.
Molten lead, chopping blocks
And hot boiling oil.
SECOND FLOOR DUNGEON
Jewelry department.
Leg chains, ankle chains,
Neck chains, wrist chains, thumb screws
And nooses of the very finest rope.
BASEMENT DUNGEON--
EVERYBODY OUT.
WAAAY off the bizarre-o-meter scale!
It's a colourful, absolutely surreal musical nightmare by Dr Seuss.
I found a lot about it online that confirms my impressions, but I cannot imagine how I have missed this one up until now!
Hans Conried plays Dr Terwilliker the evil piano teacher. His "Do-mi-do Duds' song is a cross-dressing paen! (Sorry Trevor but as soon as he strutted around singing, "I want my undulating undies with the maribou frills"
I KNEW I had to post about this movie here!)
Doe-me-doe Duds
Come on and dress me, dress me, dress me, in my finest array!
Cause just in case you haven't heard
Today is doe-me-doe day!
Dress me in my silver garters, dress me in my diamond studs
Cause I'm going doe-me-doe-ing in my doe-me-doe duds!
I want my undulating undies with the maribou frills!
I want my beautiful bolero with the porcupine quills!
I want my purple nylon girdle with the orange blossom buds
Cause I'm going doe-me-doe-ing in my doe-me-doe duds!
Come on and dress me! dress me! dress me!
In my peek-a-boo blouse
With the lovely inner lining made of Chesapeake mouse!
I want my polka-dotted dickie with the crinolin fringe
For I'm going doe-me-doe-ing on a doe-me-doe binge!
I want my lavender spats and in addition to them
I want my honey-colored gosset with the herring bone hem
I want my softest little jacket made of watermelon suede
And my long persimmon placket with the platinum braid
I want my leg of mutton sleeves and in addition to those
I want my cutie chamois booties with the leopard skin bows
I want my pink brocaded bodice with the floofy fuzzy ruffs
And my gorgeous bright blue bloomers
With the monkey feather cuffs
I want my organdy snood and in addition to that
I want my chiffon Mother Hubbard lined with Hudson Bay rat
Dress me up from top to bottom, dress me up from tip to toe
Dress me up in silk and spinach for today is doe-me-doe day!
DOE-ME-DOE DAY!
So come and dress me in the blossoms of a million pink trees!
Come on and dress me up in liverwurst! and camembert cheese!
Come on and dress me up in pretzels, dress me up in bock beer suds! Cause I'm gooooo-ing
--doe-me-dooooooooo-ing--
in my doe-me-doe duds!
THIS is for KIDS???Oh it was SO 'Willy Wonka-esque'. (Except the Oompa Loompa's were full-sized and carried what looked like guns in oversized colourful cloth holsters...) You have
no idea! (Unless you have seen it).
Wow. I am still stunned. I have GOT TO see the whole thing now!
Had to come back to add: the music was nominated for an Academy Award!!! This one just gets weirder and weirder!