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October 20, 2017, 06:51:02 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Birdemic 2 -- The Resurrection « previous next »
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Author Topic: Birdemic 2 -- The Resurrection  (Read 170 times)
Derf
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?


« on: June 13, 2017, 11:44:47 AM »

I watched this and recorded my experience. Yes, there are spoilers. Enjoy.

I'm trying to make it through Birdemic 2 today. On a positive note, the cinematography is better than the first movie. That is, so far, the only positive. The acting is even worse. The writing is even worse. I knew I was in trouble when the opening featured Lloyd Kauffman from Troma (along with Toxie) praising the first Birdemic is aI'm trying to make it through Birdemic 2 today. On a positive note, the cinematography is better than the first movie. That is, so far, the only positive. The acting is even worse. The writing is even worse. I knew I was in trouble when the opening featured Lloyd Kauffman from Troma (along with Toxie) praising the first Birdemic and talking about how amazing this one is. Anything he praises is likely to be nearly unwatchable.

Anyway, back to the film. Only 25 minutes into it, a woman in fake water is attacked by a, and I quote, "giant jumbo jellyfish." This phrase is repeated to the 911 operator several times and then again as the ambulance is taking her away. C'mon, say it with me! It's fun! Giant jumbo jellyfish! And it is just as realistic as the birds from the original movie, so extra helpings of yay! The lady that was stung runs up The beach fully clean, collapses in front of our heroes, and suddenly has blood on one leg. She, of course, grabs the other leg to show what a great actress she is. Then blood appears and disappears on her arm and stomach, depending on the camera angle. I'm guessing they forgot to hire a continuity director.

Ah! We meet the wandering ornithologist from the last movie, and he has more bad information about birds that attacked cavemen, all presented as if he were reading it for the first time. How he knows what happened in prehistory is never explained, but at least this time he didn't deride mankind in his speech. His story features a caveman flashback, and this time the eagles attacking are joined by vultures! And they are shown from a different angle! Somebody upgraded their shareware CGI software! Maybe that's why the acting is so bad--they had to film the whole movie before the shareware license ran out. Is shareware still a thing? I'm old.

Our heroes enter an environmentally friendly club (no chemical lights!). The background story in this movie is that a young director is making an indie movie about the struggle to make it in Hollywood, something that in the world of this film has never been done. Imagine that. They get the movie financed effortlessly, and the director casts a random waitress he meets in a cafe as the lead, and then they fall for each other (duh). As they listen to plot-appropriate music in this hippie club, they dance (badly, but better than they act). The director and his leading lady then proceed to what looks like the same hotel room where the software salesman took his underwear model girlfriend in the first movie (sorry to overuse the word "movie," but I refuse to call this a film). While there, blood rains from the sky, reawakening all the prehistoric eagles and vultures that died in the La Brea Tar Pits. They rocket out of the sticky morass, finally letting us get to what will hopefully pass as the exciting part of this flick.

While filming a studio scene for the movie (i.e., indoors), the crew is attacked by the giant eagles (they appear nearly as large as falcon because the cgi software apparently doesn't scale well). Luckily, Our heroes are armed with Never-Empty brand pistols, so they survive. Those without firearms grab hangers, because these proved effective in the first movie. Then, just to prove that the budget this time around was much higher, the movie-in-a-movie films a scene featuring topless women. They are promptly killed by marauding eagle and vultures that know how to use doorknobs and are unaffected by having towels waved at them. Our heroes burst in, guns blazing, but all the extras still die. They would have been red shirts if they had beven wearing shirts. Our heroes rush outside and shoot more birds. This time, however, the birds break in half when shot (well, one in each group shot does, anyway). Also, one or two birds hit the ground and explode. The group meets a couple survivors, one of whom is a screen writer, so we have to break into a spontaneous meeting about joining forces on a movie about birds attacking Hollywood. Meta humor! Oh, and here comes the discussion blaming global warming for the birdemic.

We meet the hippie forest guy from the first movie, who is now a reality TV star with a show documenting how green his lifestyle is. More blather about no CO2 emissions (ironic considering their blathering is in itself a CO2 emission), and our heroes move on to find dead gangsters, from whom they get more weapons. They enter a theater to find birds attacking the moviegoers. How do these critters get inside buildings?!?

Our heroes continue to cruise Hollywood in a Winnebago they commandeered, finding more dead people that are still breathing. While taking a short cut through the cemetary (what could possibly go wrong in a cemetery?), more red rain falls and voila! Zombies, because why not? Oh, and apparently people in California mostly get buried in jeans and t-shirts. But at least the zombies pared down the group a bit.

Look, a zoo! People in there might need help! No, the birds aren't attacking the zoo because the zookeeper is their friend and knows why they are attacking. Global warming is making the animals sick because the ice caps are melting and other stuff the writer found in a You Tube video. Everyone should use green energy like the zookeeper does because it saves you from prehistoric eagle and vulture attacks. Our heroes apparently don't much care, however, because they walk away and kill more birds.

More scenes of driving around Hollywood follow, until the Winnebago runs out of gas. Our heroes spot a hotel and for some reason think they will have some gas. No gas, but the vending machines work! While our heroes are enjoying a refreshing beverage, the eagles attack one last time, taking out the screen writer (meta attack on this movie's bad writing?) and then fly away as the credits roll.

Wow. The credits go on a while. This many people are willing to claim responsibility for this steaming pile of bird poop? Just wow.
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"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."
Pacman000
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2017, 01:46:55 PM »

Wow. The credits go on a while. This many people are willing to claim responsibility for this steaming pile of bird poop? Just wow.
Maybe they needed it to get their union card.

Quote
More blather about no CO2 emissions (ironic considering their blathering is in itself a CO2 emission)
  BounceGiggle

Quote
Is shareware still a thing? I'm old.
Yes, sorta. It seems to be they main way indie games are distributed, tho they call it free-to-play.

Quote
And they are shown from a different angle! Somebody upgraded their shareware CGI software! Maybe that's why the acting is so bad--they had to film the whole movie before the shareware license ran out.
Just uninstall it, then re-install it. And don't tell anyone you did so.

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bob
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2017, 02:24:29 PM »

I found this significantly superior to the first one...and more enjoyable.

The giant horrible looking jellyfish was awesome....

and don't forget the zombies  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
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