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Author Topic: the worst movies you've seen alphabetically  (Read 1208 times)
bob
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« on: May 06, 2017, 09:17:13 AM »

I had this idea and figured why not

A – An Allen Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1998)
B – Bucky Larson Born to be a Star (2011)
C – Caligula (1980) - I gave up on this one when the title character and his sister got intimate
D- Die Another Day (2002) / Disaster Movie (2008)
E – Epic Movie (2007)
F – Freddy Got Fingered (2001) / Foodfight! (2013)
G – Going Over Board (1989)
H – Highlander 2: The Quickening (1991)
I – I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
J – Jack Frost MST3K (1966)
K – King Dinosaur MST3K (1955)
L – Last of the Wild Horses MST3K (1948)
M – Magnolia (2000) / Monster A Go-Go MST3K (1965) / Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)
N – North (1994)
O – Overdrawn at the Memory Bank MST3K (1983)
P – The Pest (1997) / Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2012)
Q – The Quick and the Dead (1995)  – this isn't that bad to me, it's just I haven't seen many movies that begin with a q
R – Ready to Rumble (2000)
S – Saw 7 (2010)
T – The Terror of Tony Town (1938)
U – Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)
V – Van Wilder (2002) / Van Helsing (2004)
W – Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)
X – X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Y – n/a, I've never seen a film that begins with y that I thought was okish (3/5) to list
Z - Zoolander (2001)
« Last Edit: May 07, 2017, 06:37:15 PM by bob » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2017, 05:45:04 PM »

I'll try my best

A- Attack of the The Eye Creatures (MST3K)
B- The Blade Master (aka Cave Dwellers)(MST3K)
C- Catalina Caper (MST3K)
D- The Day The Earth Froze (MST3K)
E-Earth Vs The Spider (MST3K)
F- Fire Maidens from Outer Space (MST3K)
G- Godzilla 1998
H- Hobgoblins (MST3K)/Horrors of Party Beach (MST3K)
I- Invasion of the Neptune Men (MST3K)
J- Jack Frost (MST3K) More or less of lost in translation.
K- The Killer Shrews (MST3K)
L- Leonard Part 6
M- Manos The Hands of Fate (non MST3K)
N- The Navy Against The Night Monsters
O- Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (MST3K)
P- Pocket Ninjas
Q- Quest of the Delta Knights (MST3K)
R- Red Zone Cuba/ The Room
S- Sharknado/ Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny
T- Troll 2
U- The Undead (MST3K)
V- Voodoo Woman
W- The Wild World of Batwoman
X- Xanadu
Y- No idea.
Z- Zombie Nightmare
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claws
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« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2017, 06:23:19 PM »

A - Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy (1999) / Alien Incursion (2006)
B - The Bonesetter (2003) / Blood Shack (1971)
C - Curse of the Headless Horseman (1972) / The Capture of Bigfoot (1979)
D - Death to the Supermodels (2005) / Doomsday Machine (1972)
E - End of the World (1977) / Eternal Evil (1985)
F - Five Across the Eyes (2006) / The Feeding (2006)
G - Grizzly Rage (2007) / Ghost Game (2004)
H - Hip Hop Locos (2001) / Honey Britches (1971)
I - Invasion from Inner Earth (1974) / Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962)
J - Jack O'Lantern (2004) / Jocks (1986)
K - Kill the Scream Queen (2004)
L - The Loch Ness Horror (1982) / The Legend of Bigfoot (1975)
M - Movie House Massacre (1984) / The Mailman (2004)
N - Night Claws (2012) / Night Fright (1967)
O - Octopus (2000)
P - Piranha (1972)
Q -
R - Return of the Boogeyman (1994) / Ring of Terror (1962)
S - Seven Mummies (2006) / Scarecrow Slayer (2003)
T - The Thirsty Dead (1974) / Tales from the Grave (2003)
U - UFO: Target Earth (1974)
V - Vampire Hookers (1978) / The Vulture's Eye (2004)
W - Wicked Lake (2008) / Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)
X - Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990)
Y - Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008)
Z - Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)
« Last Edit: May 13, 2017, 05:10:12 PM by claws » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2017, 02:15:10 PM »

Sorry guy s, but for J - JACK FROST, really? Haven't any of you seen Adam Sandler's JACK OR JILL? (I haven't, but I don't think JACK FROST is a bad movie at all. I've seen much worse starting with J.)

I usually consider boring movies to be the "worst."

A - After Last Season (2009) (but still worth seeing for WTf**kery)
B- The Brain Machine (1977)
C - Curse of Bigfoot (1978)
D - Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005)
E - The Embalmer (1965)
F - Frankenstein '80 (1972)
G - The Guy from Harlem (1977)
H - Heaven's Gate (1980) (original theatrical cut) (my controversial pick)
I - Island of Death (1976)
J - Jake Squared (2013)
K - Keep My Grave Open (1977)
L - Loren Cass (2006)
M - Monstroid (1980)
N - Night of Bloody Horror (1969)
O - Once Bitten (1985)
P - Prehistoric Women (1950)
Q - Queen of the Amazons (1947)
R - Restless (2011)
S - The Screaming Skull (1958)
T - Terror in the Jungle (1968)
U - Unknown World (1951)
V - Vixen Highway: It Came from Uranus (2010) (probably the worst ever)
W - War of the Planets (1977)
X - The X from Outer Space (1967)
Y - You and the Night (2013)
Z - Zombie Lake (1981)
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« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2017, 01:14:07 PM »

ALIEN CONTAMINATION *
BLACKENSTEIN
CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON
DRACULA 3000
EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC
FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER
GRUDGE III
HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS
INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD *
JENNIFER, THE SNAKE GODDESS
KRULL
LASER MISSION *
MAMA DRACULA *
NIGHT OF THE LEPUS
OCTAMAN
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
Q, THE WINGED SERPENT
RATS
SHARKTOPUS
TENTACLES
UNKNOWN ISLAND *
VAMPIRES OUT FOR BLOOD *
WITCHBOARD
XTRO
YOG, MONSTER FROM SPACE
ZARDOZ

    *= I currently own copies of these.
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« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2017, 03:17:39 AM »

I have quite a few:

ABSOLUTION (All Catholics will find this offensive)
ALONE IN THE DARK (The game is better)
AMERICAN NINJA 2 (Ninjas in Cape Town? Yeah, right)
AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (I walked out halfway)

BEYOND THE DOOR 3 / AMOK TRAIN (Sheeeee izzz nottttt a wirgen!)

CHAPPIE (After District 9, no thanks and what is my beautiful flag doing on the shoulder of an ugly robot?)
THE COLOR OF FRIENDSHIP (Anti-South African rubbish)
COME BACK, AFRICA (Go away, Africa, go away)
CRY FREEDOM (Anti- South African garbage but very well made)

DEATH WISH 2 (just a terrible sequel to a brilliant film)
THE DEMON (Rip-off of John Carpenter’s Halloween)
DIANA (Naomi Watts tried hard but failed)
DILEMMA / A WORLD OF STRANGERS (anti-South African crap)
DISGRACE (horrible film with John Malkovich playing an unrepentant rapist)
DISTRICT 9 (anti-South African garbage disguised as a sci-fi film)
A DRY WHITE SEASON (Anti-South African garbage based on a good book)

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED (the turkey takes flight: terrible film based on a great book)
E T THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (the most blasphemous film I have ever seen)

FAR CRY (play the game instead)

GAME OF DEATH (yikes)
GHOSTBUSTERS 2 (bad sequel but better than the remake)
THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY 2 (bad sequel to a great film)
GONE BABY GONE (why is almost every second word F***?)
A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD (Die soon: four sequels are enough)

HANNIBAL (Awful film from a great book)
HARD TO HOLD (Rick Springfield as actor: No.)
HEAVEN’S GATE (ORIGINAL 149 min VERSION) (All I can say is Oy)

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE NUMBSKULLS (Shia LeBoof ruined this)

KING SOLOMON’S MINES (1985) Made by Pistol Films in their quest to ruin the SA film industry)

LASER MISSION (He’s a mercenary man, mercenary man)
LAST ACTION HERO (Arnold won’t be back)
LETHAL WEAPON 2 (The most anti-South African film ever made)
LOST HORIZON (1973) ( I saw this when I was six, hated it and became a bad movie fan for life)

NUKIE (SA version of ET: ‘nuff said)

ON DEADLY GROUND (Steven Seagal and Sir Michael Caine wearing someone else’s hair)

THE POWER OF ONE (More anti-South African garbage directed by the man who made Rocky!)

Q THE WINGED SERPENT (not bad, I just needed a Q)

RED SCORPION (Produced by fraudster Jack Abramoff)

THE SHINING (terrible film if you have read the book)
SINISTER (Super 8 can kill you)
SKIN (typical anti-South African garbage, based on a true story)
SOLDIER BLUE (I threw up at the end)
SPHERE (Massive underwater fart)

TENTACLES (reminds me of the SA Revenue Service)

UNTHINKABLE (Ghastly torture porn masquerading as a thriller)

A VIEW TO A KILL (The worst Bond film ever, IMHO)
VON RYAN’S EXPRESS (terrible film of a wonderful book)

WHO AM I? (Jackie Chan’s first South African movie: blech)
THE WILBY CONSPIRACY (starring Sidney Poitier and Sir Michael Caine who should have known better)
A WORLD APART (anti-South African garbage directed by a double Oscar winner!)
THE WORLD’S END (loved Shaun, loved Fuzz, loathed this)
THE WORLD UNSEEN (lesbians fight apartheid)

YANKEE ZULU (one of the worst South African films ever)

ZABRISKIE POINT (not bad, I just needed a Z)
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« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2017, 02:33:53 PM »

Sorry guy s, but for J - JACK FROST, really? Haven't any of you seen Adam Sandler's JACK OR JILL? (I haven't, but I don't think JACK FROST is a bad movie at all. I've seen much worse starting with J.)

I did research on Jack Frost after watching it, and it is lost in translation. I didn't find it bad, just needed a j film.
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bob
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« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2017, 06:54:42 PM »

Sorry guy s, but for J - JACK FROST, really? Haven't any of you seen Adam Sandler's JACK OR JILL? (I haven't, but I don't think JACK FROST is a bad movie at all. I've seen much worse starting with J.)

I saw Jack and Jill the same year with the same person as I saw Bucky Larson with and it was light years better the Bucky, and while it doesn't really seem to exist except to be a product plug for Dunkin Donuts --- it did remind me that not all bad movies are as awful and soul crushing as Bucky so I couldn't bring myself to list it
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« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2017, 12:44:23 PM »

I will not count movies I have only see on MST3K, but if I've seen them on MST3K and seen the regular version, they count.  

... Hmm... this is actually going to take some research.  Okay.  let's start with this list.  I'll update it as I come up with more.  

A - Absentia
B - Bear
C - Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
D - Dweller
E
F
G
H - Hellraiser revelations
I - Illegal Aliens
J - Jack O'Lantern (2004)
K - Kinky Killers
L - Lake Fear (This one may be a cheat.  I actually could not bring myself to finish watching it.)
M - Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
N - Naked Space
O - Oasis of the Zombies
P -Psycho Scarecrow
Q
R - Return of the Living Dead Necropolis
S - S.I.C.K.
T - They Saved Hitler's Brain
U
V - Vampirella
W - Werewolf of Washington
X
Y - Yor Hunter from the Future
Z - Zombie Death House
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« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2017, 05:41:27 PM »

MST3K viewings really shouldn't count for these types of lists IMO. You don't really get a sense of how bad the films are.
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« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2017, 06:53:47 PM »

Some to start with:
ALIEN RESURRECTION
BILLY MADISON
COOL WORLD
FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE
GROTESQUE
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION
JASON GOES TO HELL
MIDNIGHT
NEW YORK RIPPER
SCREAM (1981)
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« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2017, 10:59:24 PM »

MST3K viewings really shouldn't count for these types of lists IMO. You don't really get a sense of how bad the films are.
ok

A-
B-The Brain
C- Creature from the Haunted Sea
D- Diatron 5
E- The Evil Brain From Outer Space
F-
G- Godzilla 1998
H-
I- It Conquered the World
J-
K- King of the Zombies
L- Leonard Part 6
M- Manos The Hands of Fate
N- The Navy Against The Night Monsters
O-
P- Pocket Ninjas
Q-
R- The Room/ Roller Boogie
S- Sharknado
T- Troll 2
U-
V- Voodoo Woman
W- The Wild World of Batwoman
X- Xanadu
Y-
Z-
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bob
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« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2017, 04:59:16 PM »

MST3K viewings really shouldn't count for these types of lists IMO. You don't really get a sense of how bad the films are.

revised list for that

A – An Allen Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1998)
B – Bucky Larson Born to be a Star (2011)
C – Caligula (1980) - I gave up on this one when the title character and his sister got intimate
D- Die Another Day (2002) / Disaster Movie (2008)
E – Epic Movie (2007)
F – Freddy Got Fingered (2001) / Foodfight! (2013)
G – Going Over Board (1989)
H – Highlander 2: The Quickening (1991)
I – I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
J – Jack and Jill (2011)
K – King Ralph (1991)
L – Last Action Hero (1993)
M – Magnolia (2000)  / Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)
N – North (1994)
O – On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
P – The Pest (1997) / Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2012)
Q – The Quick and the Dead (1995)  – this isn't that bad to me, it's just I haven't seen many movies that begin with a q
R – Ready to Rumble (2000)
S – Saw 7 (2010)
T – The Terror of Tony Town (1938)
U – Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)
V – Van Wilder (2002) / Van Helsing (2004)
W – Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)
X – X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Y – n/a, I've never seen a film that begins with y that I thought was okish (3/5) to list
Z - Zoolander (2001)
« Last Edit: May 12, 2017, 06:37:40 PM by bob » Logged

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« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2017, 06:43:12 AM »

What the hey-I'll give it a shot!

A-ARMAGEDDON (1998)-I HATE this stupid movie.
B-BIO-DOME (1996) Pauly Shore. Nuff sed.
C-CHILDREN OF THE LIVING DEAD (2001) Retarded whoops-excuse me-mentally challenged-zombie junk.
D-DENNIS THE MENACE (1987)-Not the one with Walter Matthau.
E-ED GEIN (2000) Kane Hodder as Ed Gein? Worst miscasting since....I dunno.
F-FREDDY GOT FINGERED (2001)-Tom Green. Nuff sed.
G-GOING OVERBOARD (1998) You think Adam Sandler is unfunny now? His first film is a floating turd.
H-HOT WIRE (1980) Stupid wanna be Dukes of Hazzard stupidity.
I-I AM LEGEND (2007)  Terrible CGI zombie/vampires bombed this one into nagging irritation.
J-JAWS:The REVENGE (1987) Bottom of the barrel for this franchise.
K-KING  OF KONG ISLAND (1968) Inane jungle junk.
L-LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975) She shoulda stuck to porn. Some of the most unfunny comedy ever put on screen.
M-MODEL SHOP (1969) Terribly dated wanna be counter-culture crap.
N-NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3-D (2006) Sid Haig is in this??? WHY???
O-?
P-PLANET OF THE APES (2001) Ill-conceived remake of a classic.
Q-?
R-the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975) I know this is a favorite among many...not me.
S-SINGLE ROOM FURNISHED (1966) Gawd! What a waste of Jayne Mansfield! Ties to be arty-ends up pretentious and dull.
T-2012 (2009) -hey-"2" starts with "T".
U-?
V-VAMPIRE HOOKERS (1978) Great title-terrible,insufferable time waster.
W-WHICH WAY TO THE FRONT ? (1970) Jerry Lewis (ugh) unwatchable mess. Makes NO sense at all.
X-?
Y-?
Z-?

You may notice lotsa comedies on my list. The thing is-when comedy is bad-it's REALLY BAD.
I can sit threw inept F/X-hell-I LOVE old time rubber monsters. But in a big budget movie-like I AM LEGEND,It's inexcusable. Also-when a big budget movie like 2012 can't come-up with a storyl ine that's lamer than an episode of Scooby-Doo...nah.
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« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2017, 01:31:08 PM »

I hate ARMAGEDDON too.  Like TITANIC, there's lots to look at, both movies have great special effects, and our hero dies...  TeddyR  Hate 'em both, but in a love to hate kind of way. 

I'm just going to list letters and if something pops to mind: 
a
b
c... CANNIBAL FEROX (1981)  Hatred
d
e
f
g
h... HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959)  Lookingup 
i... IT'S ALIVE (1969)   Lookingup
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
q
r
s
t
u
v... The V.I.P.s (1963)
w
x
y
z   

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