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December 15, 2017, 01:28:09 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  TITUS (1999) « previous next »
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Author Topic: TITUS (1999)  (Read 873 times)
Rev. Powell
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« on: August 04, 2017, 08:43:56 AM »

I wrote this review of Julie Taymor's avant-garde adaptation of Shakespeare's bloodiest and least-respected play in the style of my inspiration, Joe Bob Briggs: http://366weirdmovies.com/294-titus-1999/

Excerpt: "As you can see there’s way too much plot here getting in the way of the story, but look at these drive-in totals: 10 dead bodies. 7 pints of blood. Half-pint of ketchup. 10 breasts (not counting inflatable pool toys). Shower scene (for the ladies). Entrails burning. Flaming limbs. Gang rape. Goth bottom. Three hands cut off. Two heads cut off. One tongue cut out. Severed hand in mouth. Fly stabbing. Pool cue through old lady. One orgy. Son killing. Daughter killing. Son eating. Butter knife to neck. Moor burying. Gratuitous ancient Roman jazz music. Gratuitous Bengal tigers. Gratuitous ancient Roman video games. Gratuitous iambic pentameter. Cleaver fu. Candelabra fu. Serving spoon fu. Monologue fu..."
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2017, 03:56:52 PM »

Nice review. I see you gave the film a score. I suppose that was meant as an homage to another reviewer.

Most of Shakespeare's plays had a few murders, Hamlet (SPOILER) ends with a duel where most of the main characters are killed, if memory serves. This one, however, sounds way over the top. It also sounds like he made up the plot as he was writing. Can't be sure of that; it just sounds like he wrote one episode, then built off it for the next part of the play.
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2017, 04:21:14 PM »

Nice review. I see you gave the film a score. I suppose that was meant as an homage to another reviewer.

Most of Shakespeare's plays had a few murders, Hamlet (SPOILER) ends with a duel where most of the main characters are killed, if memory serves. This one, however, sounds way over the top. It also sounds like he made up the plot as he was writing. Can't be sure of that; it just sounds like he wrote one episode, then built off it for the next part of the play.

Yes, I gave stars at the end because Joe Bob always does. (I also marked it as "recommended").

This play is far bloodier and crueler than any other Shakespeare play. The character's aren't just killed; they're tortured, dismembered, and eaten. That's one of the reasons for years critics refused to believe Shakespeare had actually written it. It also has some bizarre plot holes.

Thanks for reading.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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