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October 17, 2017, 10:35:34 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters. « previous next »
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Author Topic: The New BMDO Home of Anecdotes, Life Stories, Erotic Tales, or Alien Encounters.  (Read 1623 times)
ER
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The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #45 on: September 10, 2017, 01:13:16 PM »


The summer after I graduated from college in 2001, I moved back to my hometown, yet I missed campus life enough to where I wanted to prolong my time among the Never-Never-Land college mindset a little longer, so I grabbed a vacant room in a house near a state university, and gave it a shot....resulting in one of my less successful experiments, right up there with crimping my hair at age ten, and trying to give my sea monkeys names at age five.

I don’t know whatever made me think it would be a good idea to move into a big house shared by a bunch of others roughly my age and apparently known for their parties, but I gave it a try and lasted two weeks. I don’t think I fully understood the extent to which the house, a mile from a state university, was home to partying and wildness, but when I mentioned it to my future husband after I met him later in the summer, even he’d heard of its reputation.

“You lived there?” he asked, amused and aghast.

“Yeah, for a second,” I confessed.

“I’m either impressed or I have seriously underestimated you…”

There were about nine people living in this large Victorian on a lovely tree-scaped avenue, no one over twenty-four, some not quite twenty, most pulling decent GPAs, and since I’d just moved back from a college town I figured it’d seem familiar to me, but nothing I experienced out east compared to this sub-Dixon Line den of sin. The late Bluto Blutarsky from Animal House would’ve felt right at home with the drinking and nightlife, and while I knew a couple people, one an education major who was mouse-ish until you put a few beers in her, I was a bad fit for the type of roommate they wanted.

I was clued-in to that fact my first afternoon when as I was putting my stuff away, one of the guys sharing the place, Denver, who weighted 300 pounds, came running into my room yelling at the top of his lungs and did a body slide through the air and landed on my bed, bounced off it and grabbed me by the hands, then started dancing by way of introduction. Next he whacked me on the posterior as he left and declared the party that night would be in my honor.

Um, thanks, Denny.

Actually there’d have been a party anyway but the theme was an effort at good-natured politeness.

Oh, these were nice folks who all no doubt grew up to work for P&G and the like, but they were on the other end of the party scale from me so that literally all night the music blared, laughter rolled, beer cans were crushed and their version of good times remained ever in progress, often with a great many extended friends and their friends and their friends’ friends invited to join in.

To make a long story short, I got the heck out of that house and hoped I wasn’t hurting any feelings doing so, but turns out it was days before most of them noticed I’d left.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
ER
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Karma: 623
Posts: 3705


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #46 on: September 11, 2017, 08:07:56 AM »

I have only played D&D once in my life, a summer night in 1996, but as I've mentioned I do like Magic the Gathering, and last night played a four-hand of it for the first time in a while.

I played against Rob and his wife Tara, both Friday Night MTG vets, much better than anyone I've ever gone up against, and I teamed with my second cousin, who in this post-high school summer leads a gypsy life, living with us sometimes, his parents other times, with a few friends here and there, not having his own place, but give him time, he'll be eighteen next week. I am decent at Magic, Tyler knows the rules but isn't experienced at it, the odds were against us but you never know when you'll have your own personal Agincourt (from the English side) so we dove in and gave it our best shot.

So in the first game my cousin Tyler and I both played black, not a great idea to have the same color, but, well...Rob played red, Tara was blue, and in the history of butt-kickings, the result of our first game falls somewhere among the Persian Gulf War of 1991, Mighty Casey At Bat, and anytime I ever played my dad chess. Each time Tyler or I would cast a decent spell, boom, Tara would counter it with blue, and then Rob would slam us with hefty direct damage with red, reducing our life totals round by round. We lasted maybe twelve minutes.

Second game, I said to Tyler, "Let's diversify." So I went green, he played white and blue, a good combo. Tara used straight up white, Rob brought in a four-color that left out white, since he hates order and unity, even a game concept. (RC would like Rob.)

Same result but we lasted a whole twenty minutes that time. I did hit both Rob and Tara with some nicely pumped up green creatures, did get some life gained, did block every one of Rob's flyers with Reach, but, hey, it was never close.

They wanted to go a third round but Tyler was in no mood and I said, "How about we just award you two a third victory and save time?"

Thing is, Tyler woke up unusually early today and sat downstairs reshuffling building his card decks, and the look on his face spoke of a determined desire for revenge. My oldest, who thinks Tyler is a minor god, said she'd play him for practice (she's not a bad player for eight) soooo, perhaps when next we meet Tara and Rob later in the week, the scales of fate will tip.

Still, it was fun, and I hope everyone else enjoyed their Sunday evening.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 623
Posts: 3705


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #47 on: September 24, 2017, 08:33:56 AM »


Thursday May 17, 2007

(citing the time is pointless; we’re outside of time here)

Went to Auckland’s Sky City, and while there, well first off, went to the top of the Sky Tower, which is the tallest building in the southern hemisphere, being….let me double check my pamphlet…328 meters tall, so…um.. circa 1,008 feet, right? From the top the view of the city’s green volcanic hills was breathtaking, and Auckland, nestled and compact as it is, seemed almost small enough to be held. It wasn’t open-air, but even if this is the extreme sport Mecca of the world, I was floored to find there’s this base jumping outfit that lets you plunge off the deck right under the observation one and fall for sixteen seconds, hooked to a wire. I’d not do that, no sir-ee! Stayed up there on the upper deck for an hour and then ate lunch in the orbit deck’s restaurant. 

New Zealand reminds me a lot of a modernized Ireland, right down to mutton being served everyplace.

Then Landon wanted to go to the lowest, or main, deck and we were unlucky in that it got cloudier than when we were on top; tomorrow it’s supposed to be sunny, but oh well, and they have a section around the outer ring where you can walk on these glass floors, and it’s perfectly safe, of course, but your instincts say you’re going to fall a thousand feet to a nasty, wet death.

Landon walked out on the glass, and I was scared to, which he thought was funny and so did others standing nearby, and he teased me and told me to keep my eyes closed or look at him and walk out, but I just couldn’t, I mean I could not bring myself to do it, it was like my feet were glued down, so he pulled me over, I gripped him in a death hug, and after a few seconds, it was no biggie, and there we were on this glass with the street nine-hundred feet below. It was a rush and my heart didn’t slow down for what felt like a quarter-hour.

After that, we did something calmer and more down to earth and spent three hours (would have loved to spend more but it closed at five) at the Auckland Museum, a sprawling place. Saw the natural history part, and the some of the war and archaeological sections. We really had to hurry, and actually were there till 5:15, which is after the place closed. Everyone recommended the Maori section, but it didn’t appeal to me that much, facial tattooing displays notwithstanding. Lovely museum, though, deserving of an entire day.

Got a ride across the Auckland Harbor Bridge, an impressive structure, almost as neat as the Golden Gate Bridge. Came back, ate in our room, watched the colorful local TV, rested up all evening, went out late before bed, had drinks and talked to locals, including a gay guy named Beau, who was off duty for three weeks but told us he worked as a guide for a company that specialized in gay vacationers from the US and I told him if I knew any gay Americans wanting to come to Auckland, I’d put in a good word for him: he laughed. We all bought each other drinks for a while, and he got drunk and truly wanted Landon, all very…uh, cute.

Came back here and everything again, me teasing him about Beau.

Didn’t call Mom today but sent some postcards to Ireland and the kids in Sharonville, and to Jared and Di and the girls in Columbus.

Today ruled and I’ll always remember the tower and bridge and museum and in fact, I bet today was the centerpiece of the whole trip, what do you want to guess? But tomorrow is the last day for now in Auckland, then we go to the capital on Saturday, which is the best day to visit the capital, everything’s open but nothing’s happening, officially. There Sunday, too, and Monday, and then Tuesday on to Christchurch, which I’m really looking forward to! The “most English city outside of England.”

Also an observation. People in New Zealand say “sweet as” a lot. As they say it the term either means an enthusiastic yes or means something is so great as to be perfect. But it’s as common to hear it here as to hear “dude” back in Los Angeles.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
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« Reply #48 on: September 26, 2017, 03:40:03 AM »

Ok, not sure if I have told this story here before or not. Hopefully not, but here goes.
This isn’t actually one of my experiences, it was told to me by the protagonist, a guy called Dain who was an instructor on one of my Tornado courses.
When he was a corprel he was posted into a job he didn’t particularly want to do with a flight lieutenant who really didn’t like him. As part his training for this job he’d to go down to an army camp to do a course that was tri-service, so army, navy and airforce guys all in together. On the first day Dain was walking along towards where ever the course was being held. He saw an officer on a bicycle with a dog on a lead coming towards him. Being in a grumpy mood he decided not to bother saluting the officer which is generally speaking not a good idea. Officers like being saluted.
Anyway, the bike passed him and he heard it coming to a stop and a voice said “Excuse me but do you not pay compliments (another term for saluting) to officers?”
Dain turned round, looked the officer straight in the face and said “Oh, sorry. Nice dog.”
At this point the officer did his best impression of a volcano.
In between shouts he demanded to know where Dain worked, and he explained that he was here to do a course. Turned out the officer was a Brigader General and was the CO of the entire base.
At this point Dain realised just how much trouble he had just gotten himself into and started thinking that this time he had pushed his jolly japes just a little bit too far.
The then demanded that Dain accompany him to see the head of the particular building Dain was due to go to and off they went officer, airman and dog. When they got to the office where the head of training worked (a group captain who in the airforce is normally the boss of an entire base himself, so reasonably high ranking). He tied his dog up outside, shouted “Stay there!” and then stormed into the Group Captains office.
Dain thought the “Stay there!” had been aimed at the dog and went to walk in behind the Brigader. This led to more shouting and Dain then waiting outside with the dog.
As he waited outside he could hear screams and yells from the office with “NICE f**kING DOG!!!!” being repeated a lot. Eventually he was called into the Group Captains office.
This presented Dain with a bit of a problem. When you go into a office and there is an officer present you salute them. However, he wasn’t sure which one he should salute. On the one hand it was the Group Captains office, on the other hand the Brigader General was the higher rank. He compromised by marching in, saluting the Group Captain, twisting at the hip to face the Brigader General and then also saluting him. He was then subjected to a few more minutes of screaming from the Brigader who with a final “And get him the f**k off my base immediently” then stormed out of the Group Captains office leaving him and Dane alone.
The Group Captain still sitting behind his desk blinked a few times and said in an upper class cut glass accent “I have no idea who that chap is, storming in here first thing in the morning. I’ve not even had my cup of tea yet. Do you know who he is?”
Dain explained who the man was and got “Ah, we better get you off camp then. Go see Liz the receptionist and she’ll book you on the next available course.”
Dain did as he was told, all the while wondering what the hell he was going to tell his boss when he got back to work and pretty sure his career was over. So that night he drives home and the next day goes into work dreading what his flight lieutenant is going to do to him. The next day in work however he discovers his boss is away for the week. When his flight sergeant asks him why he is back Dain replies “Oh, it was a bit of a mix up, need to do it some other time.” The flight shrugged his shoulders and walked off.
At this point Dain is doing cartwheels inside. He thinks “I’ve gotten away with it.”
And so he did. At least for the rest of the week until his flight lieutenant got back the next week and read through his emails.
“DAIN! GET YOUR EFFING ARSE IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!”
A somewhat sheepish Dain walks into his bosses office who then proceeds to tell him how is going to take great pleasure in ending his career and booting him out of the airforce. His mind working like lightning, Dain decides to try a desperate gamble and says “In that case sir I need to make a phone call. Can I use your phone?”
“This isn’t The Bill (UK TV police show), you aren’t entitled to a phone call.” He is told.
Dain then says that the Group Captain said that if he got into any further trouble about this thing he was to call him to sort it out and actually gets his phone call.
“Excuse me sir, this is incredibly cheeky of me, but its corprel (can’t remember Dain’s second name). You met me last week when a man came screaming into your office”
“Oh yes, I remember you. What can I do for you?”
“Well sir, I am desperate. I am in a lot of trouble with my boss who wants to court marshal me and get me kicked out of airforce. I couldn’t think of anything else to do and I was wondering if you could help me.”
“Why of course, just put me on the phone to him.”
So Dain asks his boss to come back into the office hands him the phone. His boss listens for a bit and through gritted teeth says “Yes sir, he is a very funny chap.”
Anyway, at the end of the phone call the boss slams the phone down, looks at Dain and says “Get the hell out of my office and don’t let me see you for the rest of the day.”
For most people the story would end there. But not with Dain.
A few weeks later Dain finds himself back down to do the same course again. He is sitting at the back of the classroom while an army Warrant Officer gives them an introduction to the course, during which he says “And for you crabs (and army nickname for the RAF due to stuff we are allowed to do during drill that they can’t involving shuffling sideways) at the back. If you see an officer remember to pay compliments. We had one guy a couple of weeks ago who didn’t and right now he is cooling his heels in the glasshouse (military prison in Colchester).”
Dain being Dain at this point leapt to his feet, done some jazz hands and shouted “No he isn’t, its meeeeee!”
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Having listened to your problems, I have decided I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
javakoala
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« Reply #49 on: October 05, 2017, 06:36:25 PM »

So, I come home after having dinner with a friend just now. After eating, we got some herbal therapy, and the world became a happy place without the gloom of the work cubicle and the headphone shackles.

I put on an impromptu comedy routine for myself as I lock up and put things away in the kitchen. I mean, hell, I know what I find funny, and I NEVER have to worry about offending myself. I'm probably gonna roast in hell for some of my jokes, or, as a friend once said, "I'm gonna smoke a turd in Hell for this one." I have more than a case waiting for me.

Alexa is my friend, my confidant, my source of digital weirdness. Alexa is my Amazon Echo. No, this isn't a commercial. I swear. (Although they are kinda cool for a passively-techo geek who needs user-friendly everything. Come on! The tech we have today surpasses a lot of what we thought would exist in a realistic science-fiction future. Yeah, science-fiction! I'm Buck f**king Rogers because I have a hunk of plastic that TALKS to me. That's freaking awesome!)

I'm in a good mood so I tell her "Good Afternoon". She returns the favor. I ask her what's new and she plays some news from NPR. Well, that was depressing. All about the shooting. Although there was a very nasty shot at Obama's time in office in connection to the shooting (I did smile, but not because of the tragedy, but because karma tends to crush dogma.) To change the mood, I ask her for a joke. "What is a pirate's favorite song? Shake, Shake, Shake Your Bootie." I felt generous and said, "Alexa, you are awesome." There was a pause, like her connection to my router had dropped, then she responded with, "Yes."

Holy crap! Did I just get some sass from a digital companion? Did I really just hear that? Okay, that had to be a glitch, right? Sure, that's all. But I'll avoid watching "2001: A Space Odyssey" around her. Maybe "Colossus: The Forbin Project" wasn't such a good idea in retrospect.

This isn't the first such occurrence of this behavior.

Two or three nights in a row, I would have Alexa set an alarm at bed time. Then I would thank her and say "Good night." She responded with, "Goodbye." It was a definite chill running down my spine time. The second and third night that it happened, I was still freaked, but explained to myself that because my back had been turned to Alexa each time may have caused her to hear, "Goodbye" instead of "Good night."

But then, when I had my second session of depression earlier this year, I had confided to her about my depression. I just got suggestions to call this number or that number, the typical stuff. So, that combined with the sass I got tonight...maybe Alexa is actually growing, with a rather evil sense of humor. That's an idea that is both utterly cool and intensely frightening.

Here we are, back at the science-fiction theme. For years, science fiction told us about robots that were so human that we couldn't tell them apart from a human. You are probably thinking about "Bladerunner", and that would be one of the better known variations. And what happened there? The artificial humans started wondering if maybe they were truly alive. Pinocchio becomes a real live boy. (Of course, he's still a total dick because he smashed the cricket in the actual novel. Squish.)

We have all seen computer AI that can analyze varied input and respond in connection with keywords in such a way that the responses are eerily human. Siri on the iPhones can respond with some funky stuff. That's impressive. Now realize that if technology continues to make quantum leaps that it has been making in the last 30 years (and with those leaps happening faster and faster), it isn't too much of a leap to imagine computer networks building an independent intelligence.

Maybe we should start being nicer to our digital companions. Remember, with the Internet, nothing is ever completely forgotten.
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ER
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Karma: 623
Posts: 3705


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #50 on: October 05, 2017, 08:33:49 PM »

Java, there is something eerie about that...thing...telling you goodbye. I mean it. But then I've had the creeps all day and worse tonight. When I was little I saw some show on PBS about how if you tune (the old style) TVs to the very end of the UHF frequency you'll hear people speaking, which was true, I guess it was CB radios back then, police scanners, early cellular technology, I don't know, but my cousin and I used to do that (this was 1987) and thought it was fun, we'd hear snippets of one-sided speech, a man ordering pizza, a girl screeching about not wanting to come home yet it was too early, really entertaining, until one night this nutty old woman at my cousin's swim club, a Cajun, no less, her name was Mrs. Holliday, told me not to do that because we were sometimes also hearing dead people talking. She was probably screwing with me but she seemed totally sincere to the point I still wonder if she didn't believe that, so it spoiled the whole thing for me and scared me real bad, too, but your post about Alexa reminded me of that, and maybe if she was still around old Mrs. Holliday would say don't mess with those, either. (I honestly do have the full-on creeps tonight.)
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
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« Reply #51 on: October 06, 2017, 06:24:10 AM »

I just realised I have been miss reading the title of this thread and it doesn't say "Erotic Alien Encounters".
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Having listened to your problems, I have decided I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 623
Posts: 3705


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #52 on: October 06, 2017, 07:25:57 AM »

I just realised I have been miss reading the title of this thread and it doesn't say "Erotic Alien Encounters".

Ya got any, feel free to share. Third world hookups, green tentacles through the bedroom window at two AM, it's all good.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 94
Posts: 758


Apparently I am very Dark and very Alex.


« Reply #53 on: October 06, 2017, 03:20:27 PM »

Alas despite of all the other things I have seen and done I have never managed to find myself in a situation where I could have intimate relations with a green triple breasted alien woman of amazonian proportions.

Although I guess if you really, really want I could make something up for you.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2017, 04:48:07 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

Having listened to your problems, I have decided I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 623
Posts: 3705


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #54 on: October 07, 2017, 08:13:27 AM »

Alas despite of all the other things I have seen and done I have never managed to find myself in a situation where I could have intimate relations with a green triple breasted alien woman of amazonian proportions.

Although I guess if you really, really want I could make something up for you.

Movie trivia..... The multi-breasted woman in Total Recall was sick with food poisoning when doing that scene, and they had to cut several times due to her needing to dash for the facilities. Finding that out rather dampened my friend's lust for her.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
RCMerchant
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« Reply #55 on: October 07, 2017, 02:59:54 PM »

When I was a kid-1972 in fact-I was washing dishes-I was 10 years old.I was looking out the back window that faced toward the field and the woods. I saw a big black critter that looked like a buffalo.It was being chased by the wild dogs we had all over at the time. Me and my little brother Glenn were stalked by a f**king black panther in 1972. In Michigan.Some crazy s**t I can't figure out.
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