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November 20, 2018, 09:05:41 PM
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Author Topic: Dark Alex's Really Long Post Thread.  (Read 27572 times)
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2018, 04:26:21 PM »

Out to the hospital with Kristi for another scan. Not long to go now until the big day. Back up to the hospital tomorrow to talk to the anesthetist. Kristi was a bit shocked to discover the local hospital doesn't do epidurals, but she did some research and found out that they score incredibly highly on the stuff they do, do. She says she wants what ever they'll give her which I am fine with. I am not going to persuade her to go with a natural childbirth, cos well in the past I've had some pretty big poops and I know how much they hurt trying to get out and I am assuming children are worse.

I've been thinking the usual sort of thoughts any parent has to decide about when it comes to children.

What age should I let him first see Star Wars?
Which order should I show him Star Wars in?
Since me and the wife are both geeks, what do we do if he is into sports?
Will he try to take my favourite colour to play in Risk off me?
What will his favouite bad movie be?

Stuff like that.

Does anyone know anything about starting up one of those Kickstarter things? I was wondering if I could put one on to fund me buying my private island and build my evil genius lair on it. Backing it would get you a whole range of things right up to being one of my disposable guards if you back it with enough cash. Stretch goals would include things like snazzy uniforms for my minions, marksmanship classes for them, maybe evil healthcare and dental plans too.

Yeah, I know. I am a caring, sharing sort of evil genius.

Was trying to think of a name to market it under. I had thought of "Have Cat, Will Dominate", but that sort of sounds like a deviants porno.

There apparently was a man who set one up to fund the bringing of the elder gods into the world, and promised if you contributed, you'd be among the first to be eaten when the gods came through into this dimension, therefore sparing them seeing the horrors that awaited the rest of humanity, so maybe you could offer contributors clean head shots from your death rays in exchange for funding?

And to answer your question about Star Wars, there is no bad age for introducing a youngling to the wonders of that long ago and far, far away galaxy, but ease the lad into Jar-Jar, since he's been known to bamage drain cells.

Well I was figuring I want Ash to be old enough to remember his first time seeing it.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #16 on: January 31, 2018, 02:42:21 AM »

Ah the joys of getting up in the morning to go to work.

There has to be an easier way of making a living. Oh yeah, there was but I decided not to go down that route. Sometimes I wonder if I had though what kind of lifestyle would I now be leading? Hell, maybe I should even have taken Tanya up on her offer to be my manager and become a male escort lol. Oh well its at least pay day today. Kristi is asleep so it feels like I have money for a few hours at least.  Twirling

My godly wrestling story seems to be going down better than I expected. I was worried it might offend people, although it isn't meant to. It all started because of a guy called Harold Camping predicting the apocalypse. Randy Savage had recently died and I saw a cartoon where he was dropping a flying elbow on Jesus and shouting "Apocalypse? Not on my watch. Oooooh Yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhh!" and that got me thinking about what it would be like if the gods were in the WWE. That does actually come into my story later. I don't feel the story particularly has a plot or a point, it's just kind of a day in the life.

Still, it would be awesome if that was Pro-Wrestling for real.

Whats happening in the news. Supermoons, Teressa May's leadership is under fire, some royals are doing a visit to Sweden as part of a charm offensive in preperation for Brexit and football stuff. Well I've heard more depressing news so I'll put that one down as a win overall.

Time to go to work. Have a good day all.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2018, 03:20:43 PM »

Well the two hour long appointment to discuss discussy things with the medics turned out to be thirty minutes long.

Kristi was dropping hints that she'd like to eat out tonight, but since I have that huge bill coming up for her visa I decided no, we were saving money for once. I hate doing that, but you are talking well over $3000.

Went for a haircut today. I'd been thinking about getting it all shaved to the bone for a while now and since I had the beginnings of a bald spot at the back I figured it was time. I am not going to be one of these guys with a stupid combover or something trying to hide it. Kristi likes bald headed men and has been trying to get me to shave it all off for a while so I figured she'd be happy about it.

I walked in the house at lunch time. I hadn't told her I was getting it cut so she'd get a nice surprise I thought.

Yeah, I thought that would work. She burst out into tears when she saw me. The joys of a hormonally enhanced wife.

My poor angel. Only another six weeks to go. She went to the hospital wearing very light shoes with no socks. In Scotland, in the winter. I didn't notice until we'd gotten to the hospital and her feet were soaked since it was raining heavily. So afterwards I dragged her to the store for new shoes and socks. This is always fun as Kristi hates clothes shopping with a passion. Who'd have ever figured that one? A woman who hates shoe shopping.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #18 on: February 01, 2018, 03:03:47 PM »

Got my self audit course done today. Popped back into my normal work at lunchtime to get told I was doing my first audit next week on VASS (Visiting Aircraft Support Sqn). Well nice of them not the let the grass grow under our feet I guess...

In the afternoon I'd to go into Elgin with Kristi for her antenatal classes (this is me being supportive and taking part). We were all made to get up and dance with various ways of swinging your hips to help the pelvis.

I knew all pregnant women should do the truffle shuffle!

Got the Mormon missionaries around again for dinner tonight. These ones are two girls and the missionaries seem to love coming here as Kristi will cook them the kind of food they are used to back home.

Not sure how when people come to my house to eat, I am always the one who ends up doing the washing up?

Kristi caught Dagon tucking into the chicken she was preparing tonight and she want's him to be in trouble, which he is a little bit. But on the other hand I keep asking her to close doors so he just can't wander around everywhere and do things like that. Kristi being Kristi just doesn't do shutting doors. Or windows, or switching out lights. Maybe because we live by the coast she feels we need to act like a lighthouse, and to be fair in the almost five years we have lived here not a single boat or ship has crashed into our house.

Had a few aircraft try to land on it though.

Went to go for a bath last night only to find the pilot light for the boiler had went out and I could not get the damn thing to relight. Which also meant the central heating was off. Couldn't get someone out to fix it last night, so we had to wait until first thing this morning. It was pretty cold last night so we piled lots of blankets on top of the bed. I made a blanket fort, but Kristi invaded and knocked it down. That woman will wake me up through the night for any reason except an important one. I means he has woken to me up to see if I was asleep or not. She was feeling really cold last night even under all the quilts and blankets but didn't wake me up to tell me this. I keep and oil radiator in the garage for just these types of emergencies ffs! If she'd woke me up and told me I'd have quite happily went and got it, set it up in the bedroom and warmed at least that one room for her.

For some reason I am feeling super sleepy right now.

Found a photo of me and my combat squad back in the early 2000's. Wow, they look so innocent and cherubic. I should get that one scanned and put it up in here to see if people can spot which one I am. Can't remember half their names. Wonder how they look nowadays?

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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2018, 07:35:07 AM »

Number one uniform inspection day today. Which is great because I thought today was yesterday, when in fact it turned out to be tomorrow and I hadn't prepped my kit as a result and had to hurriedly do it this morning. Just as I was about to go outside for the parade one of my medals decided it didn't like the ribbon it was attached to and fell off. Despite a hurried attempt to fix it with a stapler I had to concede defeat and go on parade without them.

Measuring go-no go gauges in microns. This is less fun than I might have made it sound. No, keep going, you are still thinking that it is more fun than it really is. Came up with the start of a story, but not sure where to go with it after the intro. I could be a sci fi horror, or have a contemporary, historical setting, or indeed a rom com but I haven't decided yet. I may be lying about one of those options.

When the gods created the universe of light those things that dwelt in the void that had been were forced to flee, for the touch of things like light and matter pained them greatly. They found a hole in the centre of the universe where they could survive. There they waited, knowing that one day entropy would win out and the universe would return to being a cold void and would be theirs again for they are patient.

But as the gods of light and matter created life made of the same stuff as themselves, so had the lords of the void created their own pets and servants. They too survived, hiding in the dark corners of existence. They too waited, and they hungered.

For the universe of light and heat and life was not was not anathema to their kind as it was to their masters, although they loved it not.


Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts were I should go next with it feel free to comment.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2018, 11:31:08 AM »

Got a phone call this afternoon from someone claiming to be from my phone company. Apparently my computer has a virus on it that is infecting other computers world wide and is slowing down the entire internet this Indian sounding person told me.

Hmm, if that was the case I think I'd actually feel vaguely proud of that.

Anyway, they offered to take me through the steps required to clean the virus off my PC. Yeah, sure I am going to fall for that one.

Sometimes when I get phone calls like this, I'll just say its a stupid scam, I am not interested and put the phone down. Other times I can get a little creative. Some of the sample replies I have given...

'I have no friends, will you be my friend? I am sooooo lonely.'
'Herro, Wel Hung's Chinese laundry and artificial limb replacement service, how can I help you?'
'I am sorry, the owner of my building isn't here right now, but I can pass you her address. It's HRH, The Queen, Number One, Buckingham Palace. I am sure she will be more than happy to buy double glazing.'
'The blood... so much blood... I keep washing but it won't come off, the voices... they keep speaking to me, they just won't stop. I killed them, KILLED THEM, YOU HEAR ME!'
'This number is strictly top secret and not accessable to non security cleared personel. We are tracking your number and our representatives will be there shortly to question where you got this number from!'

Once I got a phone call from a particularly persistant salesman who was trying to sell me a conservatory extention to my house. Despite the number of times I told him it wouldn't be possible, he told me they could build a conservatory anywhere and guaranteed me a quote. I recorded this on my phone, gave him the base address and met him at the camp gate before escorting him to my block. "OK, you are on crown property. You have to get permission from the Queen to build here (actually the base commander would have been fine, but I didn't tell him that). My room is on the second floor, middle of that block there. How much?"

At this point he started telling me that he couldn't in fact provide me with a quote, however I had the phone conversation recorded, played it to him and demanded either compensation for wasting my time or a valid quote. All he did however was try and lambast me for wasting his time which I found ironic.

One day when I was feeling really mean to an ambulance chaser phoning to see if I had been in a car crash I said "I am sorry I have someone on the other line, I'll just have to put you on hold for a minute and then put this on my computer...

! No longer available Small | Large


and left the phone beside the speaker. Every five minutes or so I'd pick up the phone and say "Thank you for waiting, your call is important to us so please wait and one of our operators will be with you as soon as possible.

I think he stayed on the line for 27 minutes judging my how long the timer said the call lasted for. I can't imagine the hell he must have went through. Hopefully it made him clean his life up, get a proper job and be a nicer person. Or reduced him to a gibbering and drooling fool. Either option works.

I wonder if there is a help group for tramatised telesales and con artist type people. I did sign up for a thing where my phone number isn't supposed to be available to all these random callers (and it is in fact a criminal offence for them to call me unsolicited) so I really don't have any sympathy for them.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2018, 04:12:59 PM »

Since I've not finished my current story on the writen anything recently thread, I thought I'd post my other completed story here. It's something unusual for me that I have never tried to write before. It is a love story between a young man and an unfathomable creature from other dimensions.

An all-consuming love.
By Alex Corbett.

When the gods created the universe of light those things that dwelt in the void that had been were forced to flee, for the touch of things like light and matter pained them greatly. They found a hole in the centre of the universe where they could survive. There they waited, knowing that one day entropy would win out and the universe would return to being a cold void and would be theirs again for they are patient.

But as the gods of light and matter created life made of the same stuff as themselves, so had the lords of the void created their own pets and servants. They too survived, hiding in the dark corners of existence. They too waited, and they hungered.

For the universe of light and heat and life was not was not anathema to their kind as it was to their masters, although they loved it not.

 
 
Hi there, my name is Paul Denning’s. My girlfriend who I call Lucy is a being who exists in more dimensions that I can conceive of without going totally insane. She also has a lot of tentacles and the things she can do with them… wow, just totally amazing.

I can see by the look on your face you wondering how we met. Don’t worry, it’s the natural question everyone always asks first when they meet you and your new girl. Oh, and Lucy isn’t her real name, but like Lucy herself many parts of her name don’t actually exist in the same reality as us which makes it hard to pronounce. I've tried, but I'll tell you about that later.

Lucy is good though. I like the name Lucy for some reason.

I was walking home alone late Friday night. The moon was full and I could see Polaris shining brightly. No one else was around in the streets and I didn’t know why back then, but I suddenly felt very nervous. I looked all around me and could see nothing, but I felt like I was being watched. But then a girl like Lucy can hardly just stroll up to you in a bar and ask you if you want to buy her a drink and I guess for something like her, this is the equivalent of making eyes at you across a crowded room. Anyhoos, back to my story. A feeling of nameless dread rose up in me, overwhelming my senses and I started running in a blind panic. I didn’t know what I was running from or where I was running too, just that I had to get the hell out of there. Some instinct must have made head for my flat though, as the next thing I knew I was slamming the door shut, my heart hammering in my chest. My hands were shaking as I poured myself a drink, wasting loads of whiskey as my trembling split more of it on the expensive carpet than went in my glass. I gave up and just glugged some straight from the bottle.

That’s when I saw her. She came drifting straight through my wall, I mean I am on the 15th floor. She was a black mass, roughly spheroid and about six feet from side to side, although as she turned around her height and width would alter rapidly depending on what parts of her were passing through the dimensions I could see. I could see no body, just a mass of writhing black tentacles constantly moving around. My senses reeled just from her presence, my sanity seemed to crumble, I could literally feel my mind breaking as she entered.

It was exactly how I thought love at first sight would be.

She moved over to where I stood, and I have to admit the stain on my suit trousers was not from the bottle I was spilling on the floor, but she gently stroked my face with a slick black tentacle so softly. I suddenly somehow knew that she wasn’t here to hurt me. I could… I am not sure how to explain it. It wasn’t quite telepathy, but I could pick up and understand some of her thoughts and feelings. You ever had someone know exactly how you are feeling? We have that me and Lucy.

We made love that first night. Mad, passionate love until the morning when we fell asleep together wrapped in one another’s appendages. She grabbed my clothes and ripped them from my body, then jumped on me, her weight knocking me to the floor. Some of her tentacles wrapped around my hands and pinned them to the floor, while her other tentacles… well let’s say they went exploring and leave it at that. We made love right there and then in the living room. Then in the hallway, the toilet, again in the hallway before we made it to the bedroom where we spent the rest of the night making the earth move together.

I’ve never been one to move too quickly in a relationship and it surprised me pleasantly when I invited Lucy to move in with me in the morning. We hardly left the bedroom that weekend and by the time I had to go to work on Monday morning I was exhausted, drained and very, very happy. She satisfied me in a way no other woman ever had. Several times she tried to tell me her full name, but it made my nose bleed. And my ears. So we settled on Lucy.

That first month was blissfully happy. I had never known anything like it before. Of course like any relationship it had its problems. We could hardly go out together and our attempts to were normally met by folk of artistic persuasions leaping off the tops of tall buildings, or covering themselves in petrol and immolating themselves. Still we persevered. At the end of the month though I was beginning to wonder could Lucy perhaps be a kleptomaniac. It was little things going missing. The kind of thing that you had got so used to being there that you hardly noticed them until you went to use them. The first thing I noticed was the tip of my right pinkie finger, then a mole on my shoulder. I let these little things go at first, but when I awoke one day with only one eye gone I did decide it was time to have a serious talk with Lucy.

She admitted it was her and apologised. She told me that sometimes during sex she got a bit carried away and had accidently consumed some of my essence. She was terribly upset about it and I felt really bad about bringing the whole thing up with her afterwards.

I decided to book us a secluded cottage in the Lake District for both of us to get away from everything and just spend some time together as a bit of an apology to her. It was a bank holiday weekend so we’d have an extra day together. I made it a surprise and the pair of us drove up late the Friday night. Traffic was surprisingly light, although we witnessed many accidents. All the other cars kept skidding off the road the drivers and passengers screaming as if in unholy torment before their cars exploded. That was pretty dangerous as they strangely seemed to explode as we passed, although I did think that in a perverse way the flames against the night was strangely romantic. Lucy spent the drive leaning on my shoulder, and did something naughty to me while we were driving that almost caused me to crash! I loved the feeling of her against me, her body so soft and pliant.

Thanks to the insane driving of everyone else, we made good time to the cottage. I picked her up and carried her in side. There we lay in front of a log fire and made more love. Normally sex between us was fast and frenzied, but this time we were slow and gentle with each other, exploring each other fully. I do have to say that Lucy was much more able to explore me with her being able to change the sizes of tentacles to fit into any space no matter what the size or shape.

It was unusual to say the least, incredibly unexpected… but not unpleasant once I got used to it. It was the best sex I’d ever had, and Lucy told me it had taken her to heights no one else ever had.

The only problem was when I woke up on the Monday morning I no longer had any arms or legs. I found this strange occurrence slightly disturbing, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to poor Lucy. She had been so upset when I confronted her about my missing eye and I did so want this long weekend to go perfectly. I had found myself walking past Jewellery shops on the way home from work and was thinking of an engagement ring. I had seem one I really like, white gold with 5 gemstones, alternating emeralds and diamonds. I was hoping she'd like it too.

When Lucy awoke we made love again. I don’t mean to sound like sex was all there was to our relationship, believe me it was much deeper than that. We’d go for long walks in the park, hand in tentacle and watch the ducks explode as we walked by, or joggers hanging themselves from the trees by the cords of their iPod headphones. Any second I spent with Lucy I was just so smitten with her. It seemed terrible that the rest of the world was falling apart while we were so in love with each other, but nothing else seemed important while we were together. We tried going to the cinema a few times, but the screen kept showing scenes from some of the other realities Lucy existed in, and well... lets just say I am glad I don't have to clean that mess up.

I am not sure what time I awoke next. My other eye seemed to have gone and I can’t hear, smell, taste or feel anything either. I think our love is so strong that mine and Lucy’s souls have merged and I just can’t use the senses she has. With practise though I am sure I will learn how to. I no longer hear her in my thoughts and that distresses me greatly, but I persevere and know that soon I will feel the soothing touch of her mind again.

I think I might have eternity to work on that and after all we do have a love built to last to the end of time.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2018, 03:58:49 AM »

Had to get up early today to get ready to go to a baby market.

Didn't realise you got to go shop for the damn things. I think I prefer the whole stork idea than having to go buy one. :P

Been trying to get dressed. It is currently 08:34. I got out of bed around 08:00 and so far I've got one sock on. Still it's progress right?

Our friend Karen (aka the worlds second worst driver) is picking us up. This worries me a lot. When Kristi goes out shopping with her, if they end up being late I start getting worried that she has crashed again. Kristi's habit of not phoning me, or answering my calls to let me know she is ok has gotten her into trouble with me on a couple of occasions.

Things I still need to buy for the shopping list today. A buggy and a changing mat. No doubt there are other things but that is what I have in my head right now.

Hey, I got my other sock on. Maybe I should go commando. Underwear seems too complicated today and I strangely feel sleepy for this time of day.

One leg is in my black jeans and I have a tee shirt on. I think I can make this look work. Hmm, looked outside and it's a bit rainy so maybe not. Kristi is feeling a bit sore. I reminded her that after we visited some friends who had just had a baby and were driving home, she is the one who slammed the brakes on, turned around to me and demanded "I WANT ONE OF THEM!". Experienced friends have informed me that this would be an incredibly bad thing to point out to Kristi while she is going through labour and would be akin to summoning some sort of end times type demonic entity for the havock that would then be wrought.

I have to admit though, that does sound strangely tempting. Michael Caine was right. Some guys do just want to see the world burn.

Wow, in 9 days I'll have been married for 5 years. How the hell did that happen? I need to think of something special to get Kristi for it. I kind of went too high on the first valentines day and since then I've had to try and beat it (I bought us matching titles, so we are offically Lord and Lady Corbett of Lochaber. If you are stuck for a present to get your other half, its not a bad one imho). The next year I did try to get a star named after her, but that turned out to be a con so I ditched that plan.

I am sure something special will occur to me, it normally does.

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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2018, 04:30:00 AM »

Since I've not finished my current story on the writen anything recently thread, I thought I'd post my other completed story here. It's something unusual for me that I have never tried to write before. It is a love story between a young man and an unfathomable creature from other dimensions.

An all-consuming love.
By Alex Corbett.

When the gods created the universe of light those things that dwelt in the void that had been were forced to flee, for the touch of things like light and matter pained them greatly. They found a hole in the centre of the universe where they could survive. There they waited, knowing that one day entropy would win out and the universe would return to being a cold void and would be theirs again for they are patient.

But as the gods of light and matter created life made of the same stuff as themselves, so had the lords of the void created their own pets and servants. They too survived, hiding in the dark corners of existence. They too waited, and they hungered.

For the universe of light and heat and life was not was not anathema to their kind as it was to their masters, although they loved it not.

 
 
Hi there, my name is Paul Denning’s. My girlfriend who I call Lucy is a being who exists in more dimensions that I can conceive of without going totally insane. She also has a lot of tentacles and the things she can do with them… wow, just totally amazing.

I can see by the look on your face you wondering how we met. Don’t worry, it’s the natural question everyone always asks first when they meet you and your new girl. Oh, and Lucy isn’t her real name, but like Lucy herself many parts of her name don’t actually exist in the same reality as us which makes it hard to pronounce. I've tried, but I'll tell you about that later.

Lucy is good though. I like the name Lucy for some reason.

I was walking home alone late Friday night. The moon was full and I could see Polaris shining brightly. No one else was around in the streets and I didn’t know why back then, but I suddenly felt very nervous. I looked all around me and could see nothing, but I felt like I was being watched. But then a girl like Lucy can hardly just stroll up to you in a bar and ask you if you want to buy her a drink and I guess for something like her, this is the equivalent of making eyes at you across a crowded room. Anyhoos, back to my story. A feeling of nameless dread rose up in me, overwhelming my senses and I started running in a blind panic. I didn’t know what I was running from or where I was running too, just that I had to get the hell out of there. Some instinct must have made head for my flat though, as the next thing I knew I was slamming the door shut, my heart hammering in my chest. My hands were shaking as I poured myself a drink, wasting loads of whiskey as my trembling split more of it on the expensive carpet than went in my glass. I gave up and just glugged some straight from the bottle.

That’s when I saw her. She came drifting straight through my wall, I mean I am on the 15th floor. She was a black mass, roughly spheroid and about six feet from side to side, although as she turned around her height and width would alter rapidly depending on what parts of her were passing through the dimensions I could see. I could see no body, just a mass of writhing black tentacles constantly moving around. My senses reeled just from her presence, my sanity seemed to crumble, I could literally feel my mind breaking as she entered.

It was exactly how I thought love at first sight would be.

She moved over to where I stood, and I have to admit the stain on my suit trousers was not from the bottle I was spilling on the floor, but she gently stroked my face with a slick black tentacle so softly. I suddenly somehow knew that she wasn’t here to hurt me. I could… I am not sure how to explain it. It wasn’t quite telepathy, but I could pick up and understand some of her thoughts and feelings. You ever had someone know exactly how you are feeling? We have that me and Lucy.

We made love that first night. Mad, passionate love until the morning when we fell asleep together wrapped in one another’s appendages. She grabbed my clothes and ripped them from my body, then jumped on me, her weight knocking me to the floor. Some of her tentacles wrapped around my hands and pinned them to the floor, while her other tentacles… well let’s say they went exploring and leave it at that. We made love right there and then in the living room. Then in the hallway, the toilet, again in the hallway before we made it to the bedroom where we spent the rest of the night making the earth move together.

I’ve never been one to move too quickly in a relationship and it surprised me pleasantly when I invited Lucy to move in with me in the morning. We hardly left the bedroom that weekend and by the time I had to go to work on Monday morning I was exhausted, drained and very, very happy. She satisfied me in a way no other woman ever had. Several times she tried to tell me her full name, but it made my nose bleed. And my ears. So we settled on Lucy.

That first month was blissfully happy. I had never known anything like it before. Of course like any relationship it had its problems. We could hardly go out together and our attempts to were normally met by folk of artistic persuasions leaping off the tops of tall buildings, or covering themselves in petrol and immolating themselves. Still we persevered. At the end of the month though I was beginning to wonder could Lucy perhaps be a kleptomaniac. It was little things going missing. The kind of thing that you had got so used to being there that you hardly noticed them until you went to use them. The first thing I noticed was the tip of my right pinkie finger, then a mole on my shoulder. I let these little things go at first, but when I awoke one day with only one eye gone I did decide it was time to have a serious talk with Lucy.

She admitted it was her and apologised. She told me that sometimes during sex she got a bit carried away and had accidently consumed some of my essence. She was terribly upset about it and I felt really bad about bringing the whole thing up with her afterwards.

I decided to book us a secluded cottage in the Lake District for both of us to get away from everything and just spend some time together as a bit of an apology to her. It was a bank holiday weekend so we’d have an extra day together. I made it a surprise and the pair of us drove up late the Friday night. Traffic was surprisingly light, although we witnessed many accidents. All the other cars kept skidding off the road the drivers and passengers screaming as if in unholy torment before their cars exploded. That was pretty dangerous as they strangely seemed to explode as we passed, although I did think that in a perverse way the flames against the night was strangely romantic. Lucy spent the drive leaning on my shoulder, and did something naughty to me while we were driving that almost caused me to crash! I loved the feeling of her against me, her body so soft and pliant.

Thanks to the insane driving of everyone else, we made good time to the cottage. I picked her up and carried her in side. There we lay in front of a log fire and made more love. Normally sex between us was fast and frenzied, but this time we were slow and gentle with each other, exploring each other fully. I do have to say that Lucy was much more able to explore me with her being able to change the sizes of tentacles to fit into any space no matter what the size or shape.

It was unusual to say the least, incredibly unexpected… but not unpleasant once I got used to it. It was the best sex I’d ever had, and Lucy told me it had taken her to heights no one else ever had.

The only problem was when I woke up on the Monday morning I no longer had any arms or legs. I found this strange occurrence slightly disturbing, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to poor Lucy. She had been so upset when I confronted her about my missing eye and I did so want this long weekend to go perfectly. I had found myself walking past Jewellery shops on the way home from work and was thinking of an engagement ring. I had seem one I really like, white gold with 5 gemstones, alternating emeralds and diamonds. I was hoping she'd like it too.

When Lucy awoke we made love again. I don’t mean to sound like sex was all there was to our relationship, believe me it was much deeper than that. We’d go for long walks in the park, hand in tentacle and watch the ducks explode as we walked by, or joggers hanging themselves from the trees by the cords of their iPod headphones. Any second I spent with Lucy I was just so smitten with her. It seemed terrible that the rest of the world was falling apart while we were so in love with each other, but nothing else seemed important while we were together. We tried going to the cinema a few times, but the screen kept showing scenes from some of the other realities Lucy existed in, and well... lets just say I am glad I don't have to clean that mess up.

I am not sure what time I awoke next. My other eye seemed to have gone and I can’t hear, smell, taste or feel anything either. I think our love is so strong that mine and Lucy’s souls have merged and I just can’t use the senses she has. With practise though I am sure I will learn how to. I no longer hear her in my thoughts and that distresses me greatly, but I persevere and know that soon I will feel the soothing touch of her mind again.

I think I might have eternity to work on that and after all we do have a love built to last to the end of time.


You should write Harlequin Romances!!!  LOL
What a neat tale of Lovecraftian love . . .
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2018, 09:19:49 PM »

Got a cot for the baby today. Its of a lovely dark wood which fits in with most of the rest of our furnature so I am happy with that. Karen managed to only nearly crash the car while I was out with her today, so that is an improvement (she pulled out in front of an oncoming car at a roundabout). Anyway, after that I got dropped off at the house while Karen and Kristi went shopping. As it turned out they were to go shopping for eleven hours.

I figured out how to bridge the middle of my wrestling story to the end.

I consider people to be strange things, best observed from a distance. Increasingly I find the appropriate distance would be Mars to make sure I don't get caught in the blast zone when it all goes tits up, something I am more and more sure is going to happen in my lifetime.

I wonder if people felt like this leading up to WW1 and WW2?

How dare we as a species develop weapons that can decide the fates of billions regardless of their own hopes and dreams. What stupidity and arrogance to risk the fates of so many currently alive and generations unborn, then give that power to one man (or woman) based on a popularity contest. I mean is it just me or is that not completely insane?

And yet, it may be what held the peace for 70 years. But then again, nothing lasts forever.

I am not sure if I could, I would really want to truly understand the human race.

Take my ever loving wife for example (and I am not being sarcastic there, she loves me like no other woman ever could). On her birthday one of her nieces (who is 19) didn't send her a present, a happy birthday on facebook or a birthday card. I can understand Kristi being a little put out at this. She decided for the nieces birthday which is coming up shortly that rather than getting her an expensive present like we normally do, we'd just be sending a card.

I agreed with this. I considered it worthy of perhaps 30 seconds of conversation. Maybe a minute if I am required to say something sympathetic in addition to agreeing with Kristi.

Over the past month, I have heard this same story repeated numerous times. I am not sure if there is some code word I am supposed to say that I am just missing out on or something. I consider other things to be a lot more important, like the upcoming baby, the debt on my credit card (which while not a huge amount is the first time in my life I have ever been in debt and unduly worries me), is a big war going to kick off before or after I finish in the airforce and will I be recalled to active duty, or how in a snow storm how do the guys who drive them get to work?

You know, deep meaningful things. Quite why just sending a birthday card is worthy of repeated conversations I must admit has me totally perplexed. I have indicated my assent in this matter, Kristi knows me well enough to know if I decide on a course of action then it is almost impossible to get me to change my mind without presenting overwhelmingly good reasons, so I am highly unlikely to change my mind on agreeing with her.

Anyway, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of my drinks cabinet and have been pouring myself a few generously proportioned drinks on the basis that if this subject is going to come up again tonight I am going to require some alcohol to be properly fortified to continue to be understanding and supportive, rather than just being irritable about why we are talking about this again.

Mind you me being irritable is better than the alternative. When I was younger I used to be almost impossible to get angry. You (generally) had to try for years (although one guy did manage after four hours of giving me constant abuse to get me to snap when he said something about my mum. The next thing I knew, he was lying on the ground and I was choking the life out of him, apparently I grabbed him by the throat and more or less chokeslammed him on the ground and wasn't letting go. That was a record though. His name was George Winters. I wonder what he is doing now?) to get me to snap, but when I did it seemed to be fairly spectacular. I don't really remember because when my temper did go, I'd black out for a couple of seconds, and then after that I'd find myself standing there with some degree of pain in my fist and someone lying sparked out on the floor in front of me, or having a gap in their mouth where some teeth used to be.

I think being constantly mildly irritated about everything in life is most likely a more healthy reaction right?

I don't generally worry about big guys who constantly mouth off. You can see when they are building themselves up for a fight and get in there with a hit first and take them out, even just a flat slap just below the sternum will knock the air out of them and leave them winded. I've seen guys kicked in the nuts who could just keep on fighting. Take someones air away and they are not going to be doing anything other than lying on the floor gasping for breath. I don't give a s**t how tough you are. Going by my own experience, it's the quiet guys you need to be very careful of. You just never know what they are holding inside and if you are going to be the one who lets it all out.

The closest Kristi has seen me getting to angry happened early on in our marriage. She'd moved to Scotland by this point and kept on hitting me on the back of the head. When ever she did that I'd ask her not to and say "Look, one of these days you will do that while I am in the wrong mood and you are not going to like my reaction. Please stop."

Months went by of this and she wouldn't stop doing it.

A project I was coordinating at work involved me organising the removal of 28 tonnes of paperwork and sending it to the south of England, all in all from being given the job to the last sheet of paper leaving was just over two weeks. A lot of it had to moved by hand in big boxes and as I was some months later to find out I'd given myself tennis elbow and a sprain in my shoulder. My shoulder was incredibly painful and Kristi thinking it was funny walked over and gave me a very solid punch on my shoulder sending waves of agony down my arm. As a side note, it took 18 months of physio to repair this damage, although it also repaired some of the damage in my shoulder from the stab wound there and has given me more use of my left arm than I've had in a long time, even if I still can't quite move it as much as my right. Which is really annoying when you are left handed.

At that point I'd had enough. I leapt out my seat and roared at her that I'd had enough and the next time she hit me I was going to hit her back the same way and see how she liked it. Kristi ran off back to her chair, sat down and didn't say another word that night to me.

I still feel upset about this on a number of scores. That she (like every other woman I have ever warned not to do the same thing) wouldn't listen to me and back off, that I got angry enough to shout at her. I've always tried to aim at being a better man than my father was and when I do something like that I wonder how far the apple fell from that tree. I spend a lot of time fighting internal battles between being the man I think life and fate had me pegged out to be and the man I want to be, and when I do something like that I feel like I've failed on what I want to be. These things then pray on my mind for years.

For the next couple of years Kristi told me that she hadn't believed that I could ever get that angry and certainly not with her. Certainly doesn't sound like I am managing to be as far from my father as I would hope to be, although later on she did tell me that she had accepted that what she was doing was wrong and if you don't want to be hit (not that I hit her), you shouldn't go around hitting others. One night when I had drank a bit much I did let slip just how much I'd been upset that it took her so long to see that hitting each other was the wrong way to go. Plus I am genuinely terrified of what I would do if she actually got me to completely lose my temper. I have spoken to my psychologist type person about it and he gave me some stuff to read over.

Any good qualities I do have, I think I owe to the influence of my mother. I have no doubt without her guiding hand I'd have been a totally different person and not for the better. I owe her much more than I can ever repay and there is just no way to let her know how much I love and appreciate her for that. My good points come from her and my faults are my own. No one is perfect but she has always done the best she could for all her children at the time.

Love you mum.

Hmm, normally I have to finish a bottle off to get this maudlin, rather than just having the dregs from a bottle.

On a completely random subject change, if anyone else is still reading this far in. Does anyone have any clue what the **** Enya is singing about in any song? I love listening to her music be it solo or when she was with Clannad, but I'll be damned (oops too late there) if I can understand more than a word or two.

Hmm, I guess I am still feeling the urge for one last big adventure. But then I always feel this way before I enter a new stage in my life. I remember wanting it before I got married, before I joined the RAF, before I went to college. I want to collect up a bunch of my easily concealled knives, grab some essentials, steal a motorbike and head off to some random place and keep going until I found something exciting. The last time I actually did this, I rode as far south as Newcastle (on a borrowed rather than stolen bike) and it started raining heavily. Since I hadn't brought suitable clothing with me, I had to turn back around and go home. Wonder where I'd have ended up if I had kept on going. Properly Manchester. It has always struck me as a black hole type of place (i.e. it sucks).

Listening to Zakk Wylde doing his guitar stuff on 'No More Tears' now. Music is an easy way to change my mood. It's always had a big effect on me. Can't listen to Alestorm without wanting to hijack a ship and take to the high seas as a pirate in leather trousers and a silk shirt. Have a listen if you don't believe me.

! No longer available Small | Large


And if that doesn't get your blood going, then try some Lordi (the Finnish heavy metal band, not the pop bint)...

! No longer available Small | Large


The world is not what we were supposed to make of it. We are all too busy worrying about our own little part of it, rather than worrying about the world as a whole. Love Thy Neighbour (or what ever other religion* you have) my arse. How many of us would rather close our borders (either our country, or our own more personal ones) than help a stranger?

*When I say religion here, I have a somewhat wider interpretation of religion than most. If you believe in science more than anything else, and believe it must be right, that no other possible interpretation for the universe could ever exist, then that too is your religion wither you care to accept it or not. Besides, if all you are doing is bringing down other people's beliefs without presenting something that does more good and less harm then what the f**k use are you?

Quite frankly none. You have became the same beast that you claim to hate and fight against. It doesn't have to be science either. I've heard many vegetarians and vegans and fruitarians (seriously, you think the entire world could survive that way? Get an effing grip you nutjobs). Even when I used to take great joy in breaking peoples religious beliefs I only ever did it to people who insisted on attempting to force their views on me. If you are happy to believe what you want to, and content and secure enough in those believes to let the world go on with what ever they want to go with, well that is one of the main reasons I signed up to do the job I do. To protect your right to believe in that without ramming it down the throats of others. Your religion can be anything. It doesn't have to be science or atheism, although they are the ones that most reverently deny it and in doing so become what they hate. It might be patriotism (do you believe your country is somehow better than all the others, regardless of what they have contributed to the world? Look deep into your heart, has your country really done things that no other country can match? If you think so, then look again with less rose tinted glasses. Any country throughout history that has ever had the power to do good has waded through a sea of other peoples blood to get there. The question you then have to ask is was it worth it and did your country act freely or did it have self interest as its main motive for doing so?).

Please note, that in all this I am not in some way claiming to be better than anyone. I have my own faults many of which I am painfully aware of, while others still no doubt go beyond my notice. Neither do I care to be blinded by patriotism or any other form of belief without criticising others right to believe in these things. I know that after years of detesting all forms of organized religion when we lost Lilly-Beth all I had to turn to for comfort was science, and in truth science is a cold hard b***h. Kristi could look to her faith and claim comfort in the thought that she would see our baby in another life. Science offered me no such comfort. Not believing in an all powerful god I couldn't even turn to hate. Believe me, if I die (I do not consider this to be a forgone conclusion. People who die just lack ambition) and I find out a god who could change things exists then there is going to be a war the likes of which has never been seen before. I would uproot all existence and turn the universe upside down before I would accept a benevolent deity who has let the world be the way it is.

Yes to all my god loving friends. If I should choose to reach the afterlife and your particular god turns out to be in charge, then yes I plan on making him answer for his sins against us. I find it funny that I am willing to fight and die for your right to have those beliefs but would equally tear your particular god a new a***ole for not making it better. I hope in the same way as I support your beliefs without sharing them that you accept mine without agreeing with them. Funnily enough there was a time in my life when I'd have given anything to believe in a god as a solid and concrete thing, but as much as I reached out for something, nothing was ever there. I am glad for you that you have found what you desire though.

So here I am, a raging mass of contradictions. I have tried to follow your beliefs, found them empty and found solice elsewhere, but willing to defend yours despite the pain they have caused me. It would be less painful for me to try to banish what you believe in, but yet find a way to follow them.

But for me there is no such balm.

Every day I wonder if my doubts about having a baby girl rather than a boy made my baby decide she was unwelcome. I cannot deny I wasn't sure what to do or how to handle a baby girl and that I've had found a boy easier to handle. Killing my baby was I feel an unnecessarily harsh way of teaching me a lesson I feel though. It brought Kristi closer to her god, but all I could think of was that if it was part of your gods plan that our child should die then you were not a god I cared to follow and I'd rather burn in hell than love such a being. Until that point I did really want to believe in something. After that, well if you are asking me to accept your god, then you are asking me to believe in something that decided that murdering our daughter was in some way a justifyable outcome. That I cannot accept anymore than I can accept the idea of orignal sin. Judge me on what I have done, not some forefather whose name I may or may not even know.

Actually, the whole original sin thing was something that caused my mum to lose her lifelong faith in the church. She couldn't accept that her children until the seventh generation would be cursed for their fathers sins (yes, my mother was willing to risk eternal damnation by rejecting the teaching of her church for her children. If your god thinks this is a hell worthy offence then he deserves what I am going to do him, or her. She has stuck to this point so firmly that she is no longer willing to have a priest be at her funeral and would rather take the chance of hell than accept it for us. There is no chance that I am not going to tear down the afterlife to safe her from this fate rather than let an innocent who suffered so much for me suffer more).

I will freely admit I have throughout my life been a very bad man. I have often used the excuse that I was protecting other people by taking on their sin, but really I didn't care that much or I would not have done the things I have done. Is that the fault of people I have kept safe or is it my fault? I plan on answering a lot of the unansweable questions about the universe simply by being burried in my Doc Martin boots and kicking god in the nuts.

The only question that concerns me there is what would I do if I was given the choice between spending eternity hating god, or accepting him simply to get to spend time with my child.

Will I be brave enough to say "NO!"  I will not be emotionally blackmailed into spending eternity with my child, or will I crumble and repent at the last rather than condeme others. I mean if it comes to my suffering then eff it, I can take what ever is dished out. If I have to make someone else suffer because of my choices then of course I am going to crumble. Makes a bit of a mockery of the whole "Your choice" bit. Either I stand by what I believe in and stand between your god and everyone damned to hell, or I refute what I hold most dearly and let your god ride roughshod over what I think is fair and let him condem people I think deserve otherwise to damnation.

When it comes down to it, I hope I am strong enough to stand up and say "NO! You are wrong!"

After all ,how can a perfect being ever truly understand that which is imperfect? Is it not ironic that if his holy books did not proclaim him as perfect I could accept him more? I mean I can take the idea of a god who did not see every result ofhis actions and isn' omniscient. I cannot accept a god who creates us knowing everything we will ever do before we are created, but yet expects us to act differently. And if we have a god that views that universe as being what he wants then f**k it, put all the sins on me. I'll take that pain knowing that I am saving others and I will be happy.

Just one thing though, if you do believe in god and this comes down to some sort of match between us, don't bet everything on him. Omnisience is no protection agasinst sizr 8's in the nut sack.

And if you have spent your entire life believeing in god and he turns out not to be what you expected, don't worry. I sure as s**t will be leading the revolution againstt him (or her). And if I am not, that means that f**king c**t is holding my child against me and isn't worth your worship and I'll be first huntng down those in charge, shortly followed by those who thought this was the right thing to do.

Welcome to my afterlife.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #25 on: February 03, 2018, 09:53:37 PM »

Now that was an interesting dissertation, my friend.
I think that it would be interesting for you and I to sit and talk about God sometimes.  Not in any attempt to bludgeon you over the head or anything, or try to compel you to share my beliefs, but simply to explain them, and then listen to you.
"Come, let us reason together" is a good creed to live by.
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2018, 09:04:14 AM »

Don't worry, I was just getting increasingly drunk and rambling last night, as you may have gathered from my progressively bad spelling.

And if you wish to discuss faith sometime I am generally always up for an interesting discussion. I've always thought its a shame we don't have a chat channel on this page where we could put the same bad movies on at the same time and talk about them, or just shoot the breeze with each other.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2018, 09:09:07 AM by Dark Alex » Logged

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1950
Posts: 12059


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #27 on: February 04, 2018, 09:33:37 AM »

That would be fun!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #28 on: February 05, 2018, 12:51:32 PM »

Went out shopping for baby stuff at the weekend. Got Ash a cot, some clothes and a pair of converse all stars, so all he needs now is the glow (bonus karma if you get the movie reference).

Today I have 1974 days left in the airforce. 1974 was also the year I was born in Glasgow at two minutes before midnight, which if you have to pick a time to be born at is a pretty good one. After all, I got my own Iron Maiden song.

! No longer available Small | Large


I was taken away to get weighed as a shift handover took place and they forgot about both me and my mum. I was left on the scales and she was stuck in the stirrups until the cleaners came in, in the morning.

Not the best welcome to the world, but hey it worked for the Spartans. Well until there weren't enough of them left because all the babies kept dying. Spent the next three years battling all sorts of things like pneumonia, bronchitis and so on. I don't remember this time at all, but I am told I cried a lot as a baby.

Hmm, I wonder how much in today's much more litigious world that would be worth?

We stayed in a place in Park House Gardens then which I don't remember, but when I was around two we moved to Maryhill Road, which is a house I do remember somewhat. It was one of the old tenament blocks, although by this time all the houses had their own toilets rather than a communal one outside. I have mostly happy memories of that place, playing in the shared garden with the other kids, although I also do remember the night terrors I was used to get at night. There were three dreams  I would have regularly and I can remember the second and third ones perfectly, but not the first one for some reason. I'd wake up at the end of the third one and try to scream but my voice was frozen and I couldn't make any noise.

When I was four we moved to a new town called Cumbernauld. My dad had bought a house and we all headed off there, where I would meet my first girlfriend and at school I'd meet an Eskimo (his name was something like Ig, or Egg. No idea why his family had moved to the middle of Scotland).

We'd later move to the west coast, a little town called Stevenston when I was seven and that is where I'd spend the next 20 years.

Finished shaving my head on Sunday night. Damn, but pillows feel wierd now when I get into bed.

Nickleback just came on. Hmm, I remember when they got big. Can't remember the album name, but I do remember one of the four guys I was sharing a room with at the time used to play it a lot, and just listening to the album got me very, very angry. Not because I didn't like the music or he overplayed it, it just really brought up a lot of deep down rage from inside.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2018, 01:52:13 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 455
Posts: 3327



« Reply #29 on: February 06, 2018, 09:30:11 AM »

Got sent home from work with the squirts, so I have tomorrow off too.

Got some stomach cramps at the moment which is vaguely uncomfortable but not enough to stop me putting the time off work to good use. I am however I got fully dressed, and then have thrown another layer of clothing on top as I can't seem to stay warm.

Apparently typing stuff here counts as a good use to me. :)

Bored again when I was at work so I started writing another story. This one is set back in the 16th century, in Italy. Not decided 100% on a plot, so I am writing it and just seeing where it takes me too.

Kristi is on skype to her mom right now and they are discussing the baby blessing (the Mormon equivilent of a christening. Never thought that out of all my family I would be the only one to get his kids christened). I am only letting it happen though because there are no promises to bring up a child within the faith. My baby will make his own choices there, and if he want's to go to church then I am fine with that and will do my best to make sure he gets to go. If not though then he won't be forced to go either.

My head feels a bit like velcro right now. Wearing a hoodie right now and went to put the hood up and all the stubble caught on the material. This caused some amusement for Kristi.

Since I've put up songs for the past few days I should continue that. Here is today's song, a nice short ditty.

! No longer available Small | Large


I wonder if I could persuade someone to go to the shop for me and get me an ice cream?

Time for some Sepultura.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
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