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October 23, 2018, 08:13:40 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  YOUR 5 ABSOLUTE WORST BAD MOVIES YOU'D WISHED YOU'D NEVER SEEN! « previous next »
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Author Topic: YOUR 5 ABSOLUTE WORST BAD MOVIES YOU'D WISHED YOU'D NEVER SEEN!  (Read 789 times)
TYTD Review
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« on: May 18, 2018, 06:50:09 AM »

Well I saw a thread asking people about there top 5 favourite bad movies...but what about 5 of the movies that if you could "Unsee" them you'd have already done it by now...Im talking worst of the worst, head banging against the desk "End the madness", "Dumpster fire" grade bad movies here...

for me it would be:

Red Zone Cuba - A film with all the warmth of an icecube. its totally DOA. the worst of Colman francis's work I yawned my way through this travesty of a film. it's slow, plodding, chocked full of padding, the sound cues are played at moments that they shouldnt and arnt played in moments where they should, the cast are god awful, the editing has all the intricacies of reformed meat. and the cine and direction is a joke quite frankly. its a slab of pure hollywood ham and I vow that I'll only ever watch this movie once more in my life to more thoroughly put my ideas on it across when I inevitably get round to reviewing it .

Bikini Model Academy - A film that treats plot, storytelling and narrative as an "Optional extra" This movies poorly shot, poorly directed, Horrifically objectifying and derogatory to Women crippled with Low brow humour with a soundtrack that makes the rapture somewhat of a welcome prospect. And in spite of all this this movie allegedly has a "Script"... it feels 90% improvised. the film couldnt fill 30 minutes of plot letalone the 84 minute runtime it occupies. Bikini shots aside this is absolutely insufferable...Plus it has Gary Busey in it...modern day Gary Busey.

Ring of Terror - A 60's horror movie that forgot it was a horror movie 10 minutes in and instead becomes a teen comedy movie. a thoroughly dull experience with an awful script, poor direction diabolical editing and considering it only runs to 62 minutes it feels like they've written 10 minutes of plot and stretched it to 120 minutes...ludicrously bad movie, The only redeeming feature is that MST3K did a riffed version thats superb.

Dolla Morte - Low budget movie by Bill. Z. Bub. the guy needed to pay his bills so he went to a thrift store, bought up all there barbie dolls and reinacted the return of the antichrist...it looks like it was shot on an early 2000's flip phone, the dialogues incoherent, its racist, homophobic and rediculously "Edgelordy" Its biggest sin? Its really bloody boring! seriously you'd think a film which features the crucifiction of multiple barbie dolls in a full on overly gory setting would be great. It's not! because the films so incoherent and unscripted it just makes everything a rambling mess. The guys made many more films but this was arguably his laziest, poorest and easily the most boring. I feel bad including it in this list purely because its an early example of a film purposfully trying to be offensive and bad...but it succeeds at being a really boring movie

Lets Ruin Dads Day: This. This is the worst film i've seen to date. literal hellspawn. Why? Well when the best thing I can say about the movie is that the cine and direction is "Basic and soulless" you know your off to a good start. The cast are irritating and suffer violent mood swings throughout, the music is exquisit agony to me, the editing is poor, the brief animation used throughout this is garish and nausiating but most offensive of all is the script. This is a kids movie that actually teaches kids to do the wrong thing when it comes to setting an example with highlights including: "If your stuck downtown on your own and you need a lift, hitch one with a complete stranger who looks like a drug dealer! things will work out great!" and "If your talking to a boy or girl online and you've never seen a picture of them or your parents dont know who they are arrange to meet up in real life in a hotel! nothing bad will happen and it may well be funny!"

Its very rare that I encounter a film that actively could play to the detriment of its target audience but this film somehow manages it. It also handles the theme of Divorce in one of the worst possible ways and the dialogue used throughout is pretty much on a par with a late 2000's chatbot conversation...the only. THE ONLY. good thing about this movie is that they printed them on cheap DVD's which are now slowly succumbing to Disc rot (I've been buying them up to take them out of circulation because they're cheap and noone needs to suffer this film...) which means its very likely that 10 years from now there wont be any copies in a playable format...thats the only thing that brings me comfort.

So what are yours?  Buggedout I look forward to hearing them xD
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Trevor
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« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2018, 07:15:15 AM »

Lost Horizon (1973): I was six and I hated it.

The Demon (1979): A friend of mine directed this and a mentor of mine photographed it. Once seen, always remembered and that's a pity. Terrible film.  Buggedout

Unthinkable (2010): Samuel L Jackson as a psychopathic torturer of "undesirables" who interrogates people and if he kills them while doing so, so what? Awful film which makes you side with the terrorists which is not the idea.

Cannibal Holocaust: just plain yuck - I almost became violently ill watching it.

Cry Freedom, A Dry White Season, Lethal Weapon 2, A World Apart: gross pieces of anti-South African rubbish.

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zombie no.one
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Oookaay...


« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2018, 03:48:21 PM »

AFTERSHOCK (Eli Roth)
SPLATTER UNIVERSITY
NIGHTMARES IN A DAMAGED BRAIN
SCALPS
THE INITIATION

5 films that seemed to go the extra mile just to annoy me, for various reasons...
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Dark Alex
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« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 04:25:30 PM »

I may have to add some movies to this later to make up the five, but the ones that I'd like to start with are...

Solaris.
Demon Cop.
Titanic.
Dungeons & Dragons.
The Texas Dildo Masquerade.

Erm, that last one may not be a real movie and you should most assuradlely not go and google it.
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bob
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« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 07:19:21 PM »

1 Bucky Larson

2 Freddy Got Fingerd

3 North

4 Battlefield Earth

5 Batman and Robin

others - Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Howard the Duck, Highlander 2: The Quickening, Monster A Go-Go
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« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 07:48:16 PM »

1. SINGLE ROOM FURNISHED (1966)  -Mind numbing soap opera with Jayne Mansfield, who don't even show any cleavage.
2.The ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975) Meatloaf. f**king Meatloaf  Hatred And that's the good part. And I hate Meatloaf.
3.I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1976)
4.SQUIRM FEST (198?)

This one usta be on my hate list...but oddly- I suddenly like it for some twisted reason...

PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH (1972)



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« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 08:05:04 PM »

Godawfulzilla, AKA ferris bueller meets godzilla. What a celluloid steamer....

IJatToD. That movie left me a feminist sympathizer.

IJatKotCS. it was better than ToD but still awful.

Ghosts of mars. I wept for John Carpenter's career.

Any abrams trek movie.

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« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2018, 09:41:40 PM »

MIDNIGHT (1982).  If you want to know all the reasons I hate this POS check out my review under READER REVIEWS.
BILLY MADISON (1995).  Unbelievably juvenile and stupid and soul-sucking.  Horrible.
ALIEN RESURRECTION (1997).  Stupid plot, stupid events unfold.  I should have asked for my money back.
DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981).  Not bad-good, just bad.  Tries to be cheesily entertaining (and the soundtrack does make me chuckle a bit) but it is just dull and awful.
COP AND A HALF (1993).  About as unbelievably juvenile, stupid and soul-sucking as BILLY MADISON.. and that's saying something!
Other dishonorable mentions would include HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION, DROP DEAD FRED, FREDDY'S DEAD THE FINAL NIGHTMARE, THE HORROR SHOW and others I don't have time to think of right now.
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Allhallowsday
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« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2018, 09:44:03 PM »

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT 
"IT'S ALIVE"


And I am done. 
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« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2018, 10:41:36 PM »

MIDNIGHT (1982).  If you want to know all the reasons I hate this POS check out my review under READER REVIEWS.
BILLY MADISON (1995).  Unbelievably juvenile and stupid and soul-sucking.  Horrible.
ALIEN RESURRECTION (1997).  Stupid plot, stupid events unfold.  I should have asked for my money back.
DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981).  Not bad-good, just bad.  Tries to be cheesily entertaining (and the soundtrack does make me chuckle a bit) but it is just dull and awful.
COP AND A HALF (1993).  About as unbelievably juvenile, stupid and soul-sucking as BILLY MADISON.. and that's saying something!
Other dishonorable mentions would include HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION, DROP DEAD FRED, FREDDY'S DEAD THE FINAL NIGHTMARE, THE HORROR SHOW and others I don't have time to think of right now.
I still watch Billy Madison fairly regularly and actually saw Cop and A Half in theaters. Wink
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Oookaay...


« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2018, 02:31:16 AM »

DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981).  Not bad-good, just bad.  Tries to be cheesily entertaining (and the soundtrack does make me chuckle a bit) but it is just dull and awful.
this was hovering around being on my list too... even as an early 80s slasher geek I'd still prefer to have not seen it.
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zombie no.one
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Oookaay...


« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2018, 02:34:46 AM »

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT 
"IT'S ALIVE"


And I am 60% done. 

FTFY
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Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2018, 11:32:13 AM »

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT 
"IT'S ALIVE"


And I am 60% done. 

FTFY
Don't edit my words as if you were QUOTING me.   Hatred
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« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2018, 10:26:24 PM »

Bucky Larson
Envy (2004)
Jack and Jill
Bigfoot (2012)
Transformers II

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« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2018, 07:06:50 PM »

hhhmmm.. i don't think i can answer this right, because the movies i would unsee are allegedly GOOD movies according to normal people. and i am most definitely NOT normal.
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