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November 12, 2018, 07:55:34 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Entertainment  |  Tavern Tales. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Tavern Tales.  (Read 869 times)
Dark Alex
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« on: August 17, 2018, 07:46:03 PM »

Ok, this is sort of an aside to my D&D thread, although it more concerns past exploits. So if D&D doesn't interest you might as well stop reading now. I just thought I'd share a few stories and character back stories type things from adventures long past. It will start off explaining some background rule type stuff and then get on with the (hopefully) interesting / amusing stuff. Anyway, I know there are a few other roleplayers out there so feel free to share your stories.

According to the other people who played D&D alongside me back then, my most memorable character was my third character. I'd just joined a gaming group at Lossiemouth and one of the guys I worked with wanted to run a campaign. I fancied the idea of having a fighter who specialised in knife fighting. It seemed natural that such a character would also wear light armour and rely on mobility to avoid being hit rather standing toe to toe for a fight. For what ever reason I also decided to make this character a woman (can't remember why though). I put my highest scores in Dexterity (Dex) and Charisma (Cha), medium scores got put in Strength (Str), Wisdom (Wis) and Intelligence (Int) and her lowest dice roll went in Constitution (Con). I also decided that someone this character would be morally flexible and made her Neutral Evil, and a follower of Mask, the god of thiefs. This was a replacement character as my paladin had died defending a village against an Ogre attack, so I had a few levels to play with and split them between Ranger and Rogue.

And thus was Lelandra born.

From the first time they met her the rest of the party did not trust her, even before she had done anything to raise suspicians of her. The GM (James) decided to put in a character he'd always wanted to use against a party. A flamboyant duellist (looked like Sean Connery in Highlander only younger) was supposed to be a recurring bad guy. The main fighter in the party (played by Garry), challanged the bad guy to a one on one fight, which James knew his guy would win easily. Lelandra upset this by sneaking up behind him, knifing him in his kidneys and leaving the recurring bad guy very dead on the floor and giving Garry a very powerful magical Rapier & Main Gauche combo. When one of the party was brought back from the dead later on, he had no clothes. Lelandra's solution was to go into the local town in the wee small hours, chap on someones door and when they answered slash their throat and steal their clothes. When asked to check for traps her unusual method involved pushing another party member into the room and seeing if they died. She'd to pick up some levels in cleric to provide party healing which also gave her access to some other spells, so when the recurring bad guy reappeared under a different name she seduced him in a bar, took him up to her room and cast a spell to freeze him in place before slashing his throat and killing him instantly.

After that James gave up trying to use this NPC.

Anyway, Lelandra ended up a fairly powerful character who was a mixture of rogue, ranger, fighter and cleric levels all of which had to be carefully balanced to avoid XP penelties. As with many of my characters she died going toe to toe with a Dragon (and despite all she had done for the rest of the party, they decided they were not going to get her ressurected the ungrateful bastards). This would not be the end of her though, as she made a deal with some demons to get back into the land of the living. Of course this meant becoming part demon herself.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2018, 08:48:58 AM »

Amongst my gaming group one name is infamous. This is like being famous, but better because you are infamous. That of James.

Now, possibly I should be easier on James, bearing in mind he did introduce me to the roleplaying group at Lossiemouth and indeed used to give me a lift to their games. However, this game at a price.

I would have to listen to James. He would tell everyone the same stories over, and over again, and if you told him a story, invariably the response was “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have a better one than that.” He became known as “Two s**ts”, because if you had done a s**t… well I am sure you get the idea.

James’s characters were invariably self-serving, stupid and pompous, although he thought he was something else entirely. It is interesting just how many people who tell others they are smart are quite the opposite, but I digress. He often played clerics and thought as he provided healing to the rest of the party he should be worshipped. Yeah that is great until the fighter decides well if you aren’t going to heal me, then I am not going to stand between you and the big nasty beastie charging towards you. Whenever we were fighting a big bad James always wanted to get the killing blow, to the extent where if you were about to die, he’d ignore you in the hopes that he’d get the ‘glory shot’.

To deal with James, I did something completely against all the rules and codes of conducts that govern these games. I conspired with the other players against him.

I was running a game, and before it started I said to Garry, look there is going to be a cursed magical book in my game. We both know James will do whatever it takes to make sure he gets this book if he thinks it will make him stronger, so what is going to be happening is that the book will initially make him more powerful. The more he reads the book he will start picking up extra abilities and then eventually he is going to devolve. into a protoplasmic monster. At any point if he stops reading the book he will no longer gain any further effects, but I bet you he won’t stop.

So, the party find the book which they correctly deduce is an item of some power. James steals the book from the rest of the group, making it look as if it was destroyed in a fire and then starts reading the book in secret. Sure, enough he starts getting increases to his stats, extra spells and so on and gleefully reads more. At the point where he sprouted two tentacles from his hips, he paused for a moment, but then continued reading.

Eventually came the session before when if he read one more chapter of this book he would basically dissolve into a protoplasmic mass. We had someone new to playing, who was playing a wizard, Karen and we said “Look, the party is in an abandoned inn with a basement. James is going to go down to the basement and read the book. You’ll hear some strange noises. Go an investigate and when you see a blob, hit it with your most powerful fireball.”

Anyway, James did exactly as was expected and was duly nuked by the rest of the party who didn’t realise it was there healer. We didn’t quite expect what happened next though as James got up and stormed out of house and never played D&D with us again. And no point did he ever find out that the whole campaign up to that point was a set up. Funny thing is I mentioned this story to the GM of the next group James joined and he used the exact same trick against him (right down to using the description of the book I had used)  and James once again walked into the same trap.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Bad Penny
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The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2018, 08:56:38 AM »

Aw, I thought we were going to be treated to your own dark tales of your adventures in taverns!
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2018, 09:15:28 AM »

Oh come on, I told you all about the lesbian night and I have owned up to all sorts of other things. Allow me some secrets woman.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Bad Penny
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 836
Posts: 5521


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2018, 09:17:54 AM »

Alex, you make me feel chaste, and that's not easily done.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2018, 09:19:30 AM »

There is nothing wrong with being chaste, its wither or not they catch you.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2018, 09:19:55 AM »

There is nothing wrong with being chaste, its wither or not they catch you.


And Trevor thought my last pun was good. :P
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Bad Penny
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 836
Posts: 5521


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2018, 09:24:54 AM »

If getting caught is the objective I wonder then why they call the harlot's life "being fast"?
« Last Edit: September 04, 2018, 03:14:39 PM by ER » Logged

"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2018, 05:42:52 AM »

The Big Book Of Quotes.

This was something we had, that when ever anyone said something funny (most often accidental innuendoes), we'd write down what they said for future use against them. James didn't end in it as much as he'd have liked as he often said things deliberately to try and get in it, but wenormally ignored him. I'll put some of the quotes in here.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2018, 05:44:15 AM »

Game: Dungeons & Dragons.

Alex. "What we need is to throw the smallest member of the party at the door."
James "You mean a four foot battering ram?"
Clare "HAH! I am 4'11."
Calvin "I am shorter!"
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2018, 05:45:14 AM »

Game: Dungeons & Dragons.

Graham's Mum To Alex "We don't see Clare enough. She really needs to learn to go down more."
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2018, 05:46:20 AM »

Game: Dungeons & Dragons.

Clares mum to Alex "If he wanted to BBQ the dog he'd have to spit roast it first."
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2018, 05:47:37 AM »

Game: Dungeons & Dragons.

James. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Dave "No, big stone things are in the Eye of the Beholder."
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2018, 05:49:32 AM »

Game: Shadowrun.

Alex "Look, they always have Meat Loaf on the juke box."

Dave " Not in 2057."

James "It would be Justin Timberlakes cover of Meat Loaf."

Martin "Nah, it would be Britney Spears doing Meat Loa... Argh, someone get me some mind bleach and wipe this image from my mind!"
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 447
Posts: 3264



« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2018, 05:50:37 AM »

Game Dungeons & Dragons.

Martin "I am still acting under the assumption that this mage has y'know mind controlled me into doing stuff like..."

Dave "Something intelligent for a change."
Logged

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
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