Jerry Springer + Dolph Lundgren = true

[Theef]

I just heard about a movie that Dolph Lundgren (?) is directing (?) and has the lead role in(?)....and Jerry Springer stars as the President (?)....I mean who the hell puts up the money for something like this? and for the love of god,why?!

[who]

The defender

http://imdb.com/title/tt0402127/

[LH-C]

LMAO! Holy crap that sounds so hilariously bad!

[Wence]

Dolph "Primitiveness" Lundgren as director??? LOL

What kind of crude plot might this sorry effort have?

Ok, I am sure, without knowing nothing about this plan, if such a movie comes out, the probability of the opponents will be like that:

Enemy:...........................Probability:      
North-Koreans.............40%
Iraqies............................30%
Vietnamese..................15%
Soviets...........................15%
others..............................10%

[Master Blaster]

Your scale is based on 110%? : )

[Wence]

Ups...

well, forget about the "others"-category, then we have 100%.
(who could these others be? Chinese? Columbians?The French...he he?)

Let´s do this with "ideology/religion":

Islamists....................50%
Communists.............40%
others
(Triads, Mafia,
Camorra, etc)...........10%

[Wence]

They haven´t started yet with the production because of a discussion about the most important point in the movie:
whether it should contain more explosions or gun-fights...

[Wence]

s**t, this movie really exists!!!

"The Defender" - Dolph as director, I can´t believe it... (The opponents are Islamists)

[Neville]

I just saw one of Lundgren's latest films, "Retrograde" (2004), and can't believe how crude and cheap it is. I mean, even when Lundgren has finally landed in the DVD zone, he has made decent films now and then. If you are into B-movies, both "The Peacekeeper" (1997) and "Jill Rips" (2000) have their moments, and "Silent Trigger" is even pretty good, if you can ignore the hideous script.

But this one was just the worst he could ever do. He plays the head of some commandos from the future (!) that have to travel to the XXI th Century to stop the source of the plague that has decimated mankind. You can't even imagine how horrid and boring it is... the sets are pathetic, Dolph is forced to wear a uniform that seems taken from a paint-ball competition, the pace is the dullest possible... even when we are subjected to action scenes (fist-fights or shootouts), it is so poorly staged and so unconvincing that it makes you long for any other thing.

And Dolph is aging very badly. You can see grey hair on his temples, and his movements, which never have been anything special (guess he could have learned some kun-fu, after all these years in the genre), are so badly coreographed that it seems miraculous he can hit anybody.

Unless he produces something decent soon, I wouldn't be surprised if the end of his career comes sooner or later.

[Master Blaster]

According to IMDB Dolph is a 2nd or 3rd degree black belt in Karate and won some championship back in the 80's. Of course that doesnt make his movie fights look any better : )

[ulthar]

Neville wrote:

>
> And Dolph is aging very badly. You can see grey hair on his
> temples, and his movements, which never have been anything
> special (guess he could have learned some kun-fu, after all
> these years in the genre), are so badly coreographed that it
> seems miraculous he can hit anybody.
>

I'm not saying Dolph would be convincing at this, but older dudes of his body type, when they start to get grey, often make pretty good Colonels and Generals.  I don't know, you think he could pull off 'thinking man's strategist'??

[Neville]

Don't think so. He doesn't look THAT old. Just too old to play the commando-type he usually plays. And his looks doesn't exactly distil intellect, do they?

[LH-C]

<>

I also heard he has a law degree from some university in Denmark, so I guess it doesn't make his decisions or acting look any better.

[Mr Hockstatter]

He such a natural bad guy, he's awesome at it.   They should make a movie with him as a wizened old Spetsnaz officer working for the Russian mafia and he'd absolutely kick butt.   But he's always the good guy.  Good guy parts just don't fit him.

[Steven Millan]

        I thought that Dolph Lundgren was supposed to be hanging up his action boots,but since Van Damme is nearly gone from films(his upcoming "Kumite" is heavily rumored to be his very last film),Don "The Dragon" Wilson is heavily busy playing Dad to his second baby son,and Steven Seagal has seven DTV movies coming to DVD in the next few months,Dolph probably decided to resume his career,and add the fading Springer as an addition to get those DTV rental grosses going(once this comes out on DVD).