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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Attack of the Squirrels « previous next »
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Author Topic: Attack of the Squirrels  (Read 5572 times)
odinn7
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« on: September 04, 2005, 10:02:06 PM »

So today, my daughter and I got to live out our own version of a cheesey B movie. I went outside with her this afternoon so she could play and I could do some work on the house. When we got outside, there was a baby squirrel (about 6 inches long, not including the tail) on my deck area. It was clinging to the lattice, heart pounding in fear.



After seeing that it was not willing to run off on its own, I decided it was necessary to capture it and take it up into the woods to release it away from where my daughter would be playing. Charlotte was nice enough to take numerous pictures of me doing this. She does pretty well with a camera for a 5 year old. After about 20 minutes of trying to capture it, I finally succeeded with the use of a butterfly net and a cat carrier.



We took it up the hill into the woods and I opened the cage door and told Charlotte that we would leave it there and come back for the cage later after giving the squirrel time to get away on its own.





On our way back down the hill that is half of my yard, we were passing by my detached garage and in the bushes there was some rustling. We stopped and I told her to back away a little. Another small squirrel jumped out of the bushes towards me and then jumped back in. Ok, this must be a sibling and it's probably better to put them together if I can. I told Charlotte to wait a safe distance away and I would go back up the hill and see if the other squirrel was still in the cage. I got to the cage and it was sitting just inside the opening, ready to come out. I thought about it and then grabbed a long branch and tried to push it back into the cage so I could shut the door. Well, when the stick got near it, the stupid thing grabbed on and sat there. Confused at this point, the best thing I could come up with was to carry it on the stick and take it down to the other one. I figured it may hold on long enough to get it there. So, cat carrier in one hand and stick in the other, I walked down the hill. Charlotte told me the other squirrel ran up the hill to a rock behind the garage. I saw it and put down the carrier and then carried the stick, complete with clinging squirrel, towards the other one. The other squirrel then jumped off the rock and headed towards me, stopping about 20 feet away. I put the stick down and backed off slowly and got the cat carrier.



 The other squirrel hopped out to the one on the stick and sniffed it and circled it a little. It was obvious that they were, in fact, related as I had suspected. I felt good that I had done this, reuniting the 2 babies that most likely had lost their mother. Just then, the one squirrel took off running right towards me. I backed up and told my daughter to back off down the hill and I put myself between the squirrel and her just in case.  The thing advanced on me still and increased speed. I had no choice but to put the cat carrier between me and it and thought that this would be my final chance to protect Charlotte from this ungrateful little f*ck. I stopped it momentarily with the carrier and turned to tell Charlotte to get away when I saw her already at the bottom of the hill, tumbling because she had lost her footing. Her digital camera went flying, her flip-flops lost in the tumble. Now, I needed to get to her because she could be hurt. I quickly lifted the carrier and set it back down sharply to whack the squirrel and give me a chance to escape. Apparently it was stunned and I made my get away. I got to her and she was screaming and crying as her leg was all scraped up from her fall. I picked her up and got her to the house. Well, as it turns out, she was crying more because she was terrified of this squirrel than because she was hurt. That little f'er scared the hell out of her to the point that she took off running as soon as it advanced on me.  It turns out though, that she got a real nice picture of the grass as she was falling.



Anyway, I went back to the garage to look around and see if I could determine where it was and there I saw it...under a car parked by the garage. It would jump out, then back under...out, then under. I seriously considered getting my pellet rifle to off it but I couldn't do that in front of Charlotte. I don't know why this thing came at me but the way I see it, there was only one of 2 reasons. One, it was scared and decided to go on the offensive. Two, the real scary one, it had rabies. Two months ago, animal control caught a fox down the street from me that had been infected with rabies. I had this going through my mind once it came at me. I had pictured myself going to the hospital for rabies shots but I had decided none of it mattered as long as I was able to protect my daughter. I did my job as a father and that's what mattered most.
A nosy neighbor across the street from me had seen some of this so she asked me what had happened. I told her and when I got to the part about putting myself between it and my daughter, she looked at me and said she didn't think that was very smart. I was stunned...I told her what else was I to do? I would put myself between a bear and Charlotte if I ever needed to. She looked at me weird and went away. After what I just went through, I so wanted to kick her ass up and down the road for that. I figure that perhaps I'll catch the squirrel, and let it loose in her house...haha! Beyotch.
Anyway, this ends the story of my trip into a real life B movie.

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daveblackeye15
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« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2005, 10:16:36 PM »

Nice story.

YES SIC THE SQUIRREL ON THE BEYOTCH!!!!!

That baby squirrel sure was cute (in the picture at least)

And that was a most excellent picture of the grass.

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BeyondTheGrave
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« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2005, 10:24:14 PM »

Glad that you and your daughter are ok odinn7 from that bastard squirel. What bothers me is your neighbors reaction. Protecting your kid? What are you a parent?

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Scott
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« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2005, 10:35:29 PM »

Love the home pictures Odinn7. I'll have to find my camera software to upload my daily images. What part of the world do you live Odinn7?
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odinn7
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« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2005, 11:02:16 PM »

Ya know, the neighbor part of it really set me off. But then, I look at her kids (all grown now) and I can understand why she wouldn't ever have put herself in jeopordy for their safety.

Scott, I live in Northeastern Pennsylvania where we have all types of wildlife right in our back yard. I see deer on a daily basis, I've seen foxes, bears, racoons, obviously squirrels, hawks, eagles, turkeys, and a wide variety of outlandish looking spiders.
My daughter loves taking pictures of things. Digital cameras are great (I gave her my old one) because it costs nothing for her to just take a massive amount of pictures only to have a few come out worthwhile.

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Menard
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« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2005, 12:22:59 AM »

I had a feeling there was something Squirrely about you.

That's an adorable picture of Charlotte holding the cat carrier.

Great shot of the grass.

Gives me an idea for another Double Odinn7 adventure.

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trekgeezer
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« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2005, 11:00:00 AM »

Actually  it wasn't much of an attack.  My daughter runs in the house one day about a year after we were moved here and said there was some kind of a turtle on the drive way. I go out and there is a small loggerhead calmly trying to enter my garage.




Our little old lady neighbor has an old spring fed pond in the woods behind her house (I assumed that's where he wandered up from). Knowing that loggerheads like to clamp down on things I wasn't going to take any chances.

I scooped him up on the shovel (after much hissing an snapping) put him in the wheelbarrow and hauled him down to the pond and dumped him in. Usually in the summer you see quite a few turtles sunning down there.

 I just wonder sometimes how big a snapper would get living in there. Now that's started me thinking about all the run-off lawn chemicals that drain into that pond.....hmmm, maybe I should think about moving.


Hey odinn, that was a great picture of the grass tumbling by, probably came out better by accident than if someone had tried it on purpose.

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AndyC
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« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2005, 04:03:46 PM »

odinn7 wrote:
> My daughter loves taking pictures of things. Digital cameras
> are great (I gave her my old one) because it costs nothing for
> her to just take a massive amount of pictures only to have a
> few come out worthwhile.

That's a great idea. My daughter is obviously a long way from taking pictures (we've probably taken a couple hundred of her though), but I think I'll probably give her an old digital when she's old enough to point it.

You've also forced me to think that some day, I might have to fend off a rampaging rodent myself. Much as I appreciate that the little buggers have sharp teeth, and can possibly carry disease, I do get a giggle out of imagining you throwing yourself in front of that baby squirrel and yelling "Run Charlotte! Save yourself!" Probably not your exact words, but that's my sleep-deprived sense of humour at work :)

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Ash
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Re:
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2005, 05:58:24 PM »

Great story odinn!

While reading it I couldn't help but think of the scene in the new Charlie & the Chocolate Factory where Veruca Salt tries to take  one of those nut inspecting squirrels and literally gets swarmed by hundreds of them.  Then they dump her down the garbage chute.



What a good dad you are!

By the way Trek, I remember when I took a trip to Oklahoma.  Those turtles were everywhere, including the traffic lanes of the highways.  I remember that we ran over at least two of them, leaving a nasty mess on the asphalt each time.
(I wasn't driving)



Post Edited (09-05-05 18:01)
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Ash
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Re:
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2005, 06:36:12 PM »

It could've been worse, you could have walked out on your porch,

AND SAW THIS!
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Derf
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« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2005, 08:03:19 PM »

As if you need to hear it, you did the right thing for your daughter. I was also attacked by a squirrel once. There was only one of them, but he(?) was full grown and vicious. I was coming down some outside stairs early in the morning when I spotted the little brute near come to a huffing and puffing halt in the grass near the bottom of the stairs. I said something to the effect that he'd better just keep on running, and, instead, he dove at me just as I stepped off the bottom step. I tried to dodge but slipped in the wet grass and fell flat on my face. He sailed over me, landed, immediately jumped back over me and ran for some trees.

I can just hear him telling his little squirrel buddies how he took out the human, trying to impress all the squirrel chicks with his squirrelly machismo, and then probably moving to Pennsylvania to found the colony of attack rodents that you recently encountered.

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odinn7
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« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2005, 09:41:49 PM »

Andy: My daughter has seen me playing with the digital cameras because of my "hobby" and she kept bothering me about it. I finally gave her one of my back-ups which is a 5 year old Kodak 1MP (still works great though) and showed her how to use it. She loves it and it gives her something creative to do that costs almost nothing. We have tons of rechargeable batteries which are what we use for all our cameras. I highly recommend this to any parent that has an extra digital camera...it really does bring out the best in her.

Derf: Funny story and sure, I bet that's the founder of the colony here.


I look back at it and it's funny now and when I tell people, they laugh. Sure, it was a tiny squirrel but how far would he have taken this? Would he have stopped at my feet? Would he have jumped on my leg and bit me? Would he have climbed up me and bit me? Did he have rabies? I have been bitten by pet rats before and they friggin hurt...I can just imagine what this sucker would've been able to do. But most importantly, he terrified my little girl. Now she's scared to go outside because "the horror B squirrel might be there."  Yes, he's the Horror B Squirrel.



Post Edited (09-06-05 07:01)
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Flangepart
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« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2005, 11:22:37 AM »

Pellets guns, and a little girl who goes to a friends house. Two useful things.
They conciter them requlated game animals here in Ohio...realy!
And they are TOO smart to be trusted.....

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odinn7
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« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2005, 11:40:11 AM »

I don't know how the law looks at squirrels around me as I don't hunt. I do know that I could shoot most anything in my backyard and the neighbors wouldn't say anything. I thought about the pellet gun though because it's fairly quiet but would get the job done and probably work, in this case, more efficiently than the 12 gauge.

A slight update on this:
My wife told me on Tuesday that she took the dog outside and there was a little squirrel running around by the deck area again.
I saw it yesterday doing the same thing.
There is an apple tree that drops useless apples here and I'm guessing that's what they're coming for but I am concerned because you can't seem to scare them off. I don't want Charlotte to go outside and have one of them come after her so I guess she will need someone to be with her at all times...or I could just whack it and be done with the whole thing.

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dean
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« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2005, 12:59:46 PM »


Hmm... killing the squirrel and placing it's head on a pike as a warning for others would have been an idea if you didn't have family to be concerned about.

Morbid thoughts aside, those squirrels seem to be pretty darn cocky.  Pretty soon this could lead to a full scale squirrel invasion.  THE END IS NEAR PEOPLE!!!!

After all, they have been collecting all those nuts, but what for??  Not for winter I'd say, but for the coming holocaust brought on by the little critter's that's what!!  I shall now dig myself a basement and sit there with a shotgun by my side until the men in the white suits from the mental institution come take me away...


Oh, and cool photos by the by...

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