Badmovies.org Forum

Dedicated to the horrible movies you paid FULL price to see.  I wasn't alive before the VHS era so I didn't have the opportunity to see some of the filth available to some. 

Anyway, I was kind of obsessed with martial arts films as a boy.  Probably due to too many Samurai Sundays here in Chicago.  So, it will explain some of mine.

Here are some of the movies I saw in the theater in no particular order:

Sudden Death
Time Cop
Double Dragon
Hitman(Chuck Norris)
Sidekicks
FearDotCom
Howard the Duck
Garbage Pail Kids
Batteries not included
Pulse
Anaconda
Godzilla
Super Mario Brothers

Among these should be a bunch of video game movies.  A friend of mine always thinks they'll be good, but I have yet to see one.

Movies from the 80s, as I have not ventured into a theatre much after that.


The Man Who Wasn't There in 3D (God awful and boring. I dozed off several times during the movie)

Horror Hospital (How do you make a topless examination of Barbie Benton dull? This movie has the answer)

Amityville Horror 2 (Don't know which was out of place more: the timeline of the film, or this damn movie being on a screen)

Jekyll and Hyde Together Again (There are some funny moments, but they are ruined by the rest of the movie)

The Last American Virgin (I was the only one in the theatre. It actually gets good reviews, but I was expecting a comedy, not this. I developed a hatred for Boaz Davidson; he was also responsible for the aforementioned Horror Hospital)

H.O.T.S. (This is what happens when Cheri Caffaro tries to write)



I'll leave it at that.

For me, it was SPAWN.  I didn't really know what to expect, being unfamiliar with the comic, and found the whole movie offensive.

A long time ago, my father took us to see "Chariots of Fire" in the theater. I remember sleeping so soundly that I had drool all down my shirt. The parts I was awake for was the most boring bunch of crap I've ever endured. I still can not fathom how it could possibly have won ANY award, let alone FOUR of them.

Nobody in the group liked it, , and there was a running joke until my father died regarding the fact that the only one that was spared of this mess was my step-sister, who wasn't allowed to go to the movies, because SHE WAS BEING PUNISHED.

It is a slow-moving story, to be sure.  I liked it because I had read about Eric Lidell and knew a little bit about him.  But yes, other than the running scenes, its pace was glacial. 



Cool theme music, though.

For me it would have to be The Last Emperor (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093389/).
My dad and stepmom dragged me to it when it came out back in 1987.
This movie was sheer pain for a 13 year old kid to sit through.

It's funny...now that I've seen it as an adult, I think it's a great movie.   :smile:

Hulk.

This is the only movie I've been to where people actually walked out.  An older guy with a Hulk T-shirt and his lady-friend left, and a family in front of me left after the boy shouted "THIS IS BORING!"  (The Dad said, "I agree.")

When it finally ended, I noticed that the other people left were looking ... numb.  Just like me.  I think we had sort of turned ourselves off to survive it.

Ugh, I'm about to cry just thinking about it.

I used to go to the movie theater with a couple of fellow students back in the 90s. On a weekly basis we went to the sneak preview movies, paying a bit less for a recent movie without knowing what exactly it will be. After watching "The borrowers" one week and "Knock off" the following week we decided to put this tradition to an end...

I would go with Godzillia (American) and Elektra. People where just walking out of Godzilia and no one was even in Elektra. I would also put Tomb Raider 2 but I don't remember any of it. Think I just blacked it out.

When I worked at a movie theater, I saw a lot of stuff for free, so I didn't really care.  but Christmas with the Kranks was just atrocious.  Not only was it a morally despicable movie, but it was a plain unfunny comedy film and a waste of a talented cast.

Back around '89-'90, I went to a matinee where I was the only one in the theater. I have tried to recall what the movie was, but apparently it was so bad that I've blocked it from my memory. All I remember is that it featured a small-time actor who looked like Rich Hall. I figured out who he was once and checked IMDB, but I've blocked the movie so thoroughly that I still couldn't figure out what it was. And I've seen Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Xanadu, Alien from LA, and Godzilla (American), all on the big screen, so you can imagine how bad this one was.

Lake Dead.  As Bart Simpson would say, the only thing interesting about it was that it managed to both suck and blow.

It's been abused in SO many movies since then, I would bet they made more in royalties from pimping out that song than they did for the movie itself. I loved how they used it in National Lampoon's Vacation.

DUNE.  My ass was killing me and I had a headache by the time it was over.

Really gawdawful films I paid full price to see on the big screen:

Howard the Duck

The Vallachi Papers

Panic In the Year 3000 (Nobody else, apparently, has ever seen this film.  From New Zealand.  Featuring Olivia Hussey.  A "Most Dangerous Game" knock-off.  Really terrible.)

Phantom of The Opera (The Freddy Englund version.  WTF??)

Hysterical (See Andrew's recent review)

Beer (A comedy with no laughs at all.  AT ALL!!)

All the color Elvis movies (I grew up in a very small town)

I'm sure there are others, but this is all I can think of right now --

peter johnson/denny crane

I'd have to say Dante's Peak.  Making fun of it with the surrounding audience was far better than actually watching it.  Sweet Home Alabama which I was dragged to by my wife.  Then of course Blair Witch Project which I still find to be a waste of time.  Probably the most irritated I was at a movie in the theater was Titanic.  Having a few teens lip locking in front of me made the experience much worse. 

The only movie that i saw in the theater and ended up hating was DUMB AND DUMBERER. It just re-used all the same jokes from the first movie. LAME.

These seem to stick out when I try to remember particularly bad/disappointing movie-going experiences:

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS - Giant, killer . . . rabbits. You know, the rather scary TV ads gave you absolutely no hint it was gonna be giant killer rabbits. DeForest Kelly wears a shocking series of silk scarves.

BEN - The lead killer rat from WILLARD befriends sickly Lee Harcourt Montgomery, the most annoying, fat-faced, whiny 70's movie kid of them all. He played basically the same sickly, whiny role in the tasteless comedy PETE 'N TILLY and in countless TV drama series episodes like Mannix and Adam-12, but usually without the rats. Theme by Michael Jackson.

GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER - Godzilla, long since reduced to friend-of-children comic relief, must fight a pile of sludge. Not as bad (Hedorah is terrifying creature and parts of this are quite gruesome) as some of the other 70's Godzilla flicks, but The Big G's got some annoying goofy theme music and learns to fly around by using his radioactive breath! And I saw it AT A THEATER!

EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC - Weird Linda Blair tap-dancing scene included.

PARASITE - In 3D! It gave me such a bad headache somebody had to drive me home.

ANNIE - Saw it on Easter Sunday afternoon with an audience full of sugar-buzzed preschoolers. For some reason this one terrified them, or they were just enjoying themselves by screaming at the top of their lungs at every scene. 

JAWS: THE REVENGE - original cut with the speared, roaring shark and a dead Mario Van Peebles.

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/harness002.jpg)
Lee Harcourt Montgomery - Don'tcha just wanna pinch those adorable cheeks right off his face and leave two gaping, bloody wounds? Don'tcha now?

I actually like that one.

3D movies, though, don't work for everyone, and a lot of people do get headaches from trying to watch one. It is usually best to sit about 1/3 to 1/2 of the way down the aisle from the screen, and it does help if they had a lenticular screen.

Parasite, for those of us who did not get a headache from it :tongueout:, was one of the better of the 3D movies, though an alien clone in part, that came out in the early 80s; along with Comin' at Ya and Spacehunter.

I don't know about that, but there was a big permanent stain on the screen where somebody once threw a Coke at it.  :teddyr:

I've got all of you beat.

My name is TheGreatWhiteDope and I paid to see Clifford (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109447/) in a theater.

:twirl:

Was that before or after you went. :teddyr:

 :buggedout:


Look at the bright side: at least you didn't pay to see Zardoz

They have the River's Edge Film Festival (http://www.riversedgefilmfestival.com/) near here every year in Paducah, KY and they have some decent films, low to no budget made in the basement films. Some are watchable, even enjoyable ... BUT not all of them, some are bad, real bad, horrendously bad, may God have mercy on their souls bad and while I can't recall any of the titles right now it's safe to say they were forgotten as quickly as they were seen.

Down Periscope- I admit, I like the movie.  But, I'd much rather have just caught it on tv then pay to see it in theaters.

I guess I'm lucky in the aspect of the movies I've seen in theaters I've actually liked.

In all honesty, I don't see many movies I'll hate in a theater. It's expensive enough that I only go to a movie I really want to watch.

The only one I can think of at the moment is Van Helsing. After about twenty minutes I was waiting for it to be over. Unfortunately, it took about another two hours. The movie may be shorter than that, but it felt like forever.

I think it's funny that it used to be the case that every movie was released in theaters. There was no direct-to-video/dvd market. The worst movie I've ever seen, by far, is Slapstick (Of Another Kind), which is godawful on every level imaginable. Somewhere there are several audiences who have had to watch that piece of crap on a big screen. It was brutal enough on my television, seeing that awfulness magnified on a movie screen with no escape is a thought horrible enough to give me shivers.

Godspeed.

That's a good way to think of it.  I really don't go to the theaters either since it's too expensive.  I'll just wait for the film to come out on DVD then rent it from Netflix. 

The only film I can't think of that I didn't like was Asteroid.  I though it was a pointless film.   

Lady in the Water... ugh, i didn't even stay till the end...

Certainly a film I need to give another chance. Seriously, I only remember the incredible headache I got while watching this . . .  and maybe a scene with a parasite bustin' out of a lady' s face - right into the camera!

This was the only time 3D really bothered me, and I did see most of the 3D films at the theater released during the brief return of the craze in the early 80s. One theater even showed the original CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON in 3D.

JAWS 3D was a pretty painful experience as well, but for whole other set of reasons!

It is possible that they did not have it properly adjusted for projection, among other problems such as an incompatible screen, that could have caused it.

One of our local theatres showed House of Wax in 3D at that time. The clarity was excellent, as well the 3D for what there was. I generally found it to be dull, but my first 3D movie was Comin' at Ya where they literally threw everything at you, and I was hoping for more of a thrill ride like that.

We only got to see Creature and Gorilla at Large in 3D on television when, in the revamp period, local stations were doing some broadcasts of films in supposed 3D. The glasses they provided, if memory serves me correctly, were the polarized glasses (gray), not the anaglyph glasses (red, blue). They said that the movie could be watched normally, and showed no ghosting, or in 3D with the glasses. Knowing how different 3D systems work, I don't see how that is possible and think that these stations got taken for a ride by distributors looking to pawn off films for a higher rental. Just my feeling, though.

After Friday the 13th 3D (though they had a great 3D poster you could buy at the theatre after the movie) and The Man Who Wasn't There in 3D, I was about to write off 3D movies.

Leonard Part 6

Thankfully I did not have to pay for it, as my friend at the time was the theater manager and let us in for free. That's why I did not feel bad for bailing after 20 minutes.

Was big hit for VANGELIS.  I really like VANGELIS... but not the Theme from CHARIOTS OF FIRE; it's reached maximum overplay.   

:bouncegiggle: :thumbup:
One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through in a theatre was CANNIBAL FEROX (1981, aka MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY).  Aside from being annoyingly stupid, it's also nauseatingly grotesque and offensively cruel.  Yet despite those recommendations it still manages to be tediously boring too.   

I rarely have to pay to watch a film considering I've worked at a theater for the past 8 years, but I've had to screen some awful ones:  New York Minute (the Olsen Twins abomination without one redeeming element at all), Extreme Ops, Cat in the Hat (disturbingly painful), Santa Clause 2,  and most recently, Witless Protection which is utter trash.

Really? I thought Cat in the Hat was funny. I love Mike Myers.

I haven't seen Cat in the Hat myself but I do like the films of Mike Myers.  I may have to rent Cat in the Hat  one of these days to see how it is.
 

I like Mike Meyers as well, but Cat in the Hat was an onslaught of hideous visuals, bad jokes, and just plain stupidity.  I'd honestly place it among the worst films I've ever seen.  But that's my opinion.

Even my six year old hated this movie...its bad when a child pins something as annoying

It seems like I've seen a lot of terrible movies in the theater, but for the life of me I can't remember most of them.  The two that stand out are Brainscan (with Eddie Furlong), and Spawn.  Spawn was just awful, from the stupid looking devil character to the rubber suit.  I still can't watch it to this day.

I also thought Last Action Hero was really bad when I saw it and I think I walked out of that, but I saw it a few years later and it wasn't as bad as I had remembered it.

Which brings me to my often repeated sentence:  "Ang Lee should never be allowed to direct ANY film EVER."

That's a shame, Mofo, I really like Van Helsing.  And I have the 2disc edition at home.

Hey!  Wait a minute now, ANG LEE directed BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN...!!  Oh.  Yeh.  I hated that movie...

I have a theory about this.  Lee is considered a visionary by a lot of people   :lookingup:.  And straight Hollywood actors don't do the gay thing because it's considered a career killer.  And yet, these two things have come together, surprisingly successfully.

My theory is that if you are considered a "visionary" at anything, you can get away with doing taboo things and you will be hailed for it.  Whereas some other Noddy Nobody would be villified and ostracised until the end of time.

I'm one of the few who liked Hulk... :drink:

Only Ang Lee movie I've seen it Hulk, and I gotta say: I LIKED IT.

I'm one of like, 12 people in the universe who liked it, but I liked it.

I've two particular movies that got my goat when I saw them at the cinema:

-"Men In Black" - Ninety or so minutes of unadulterated cack. Bad jokes, inane performances etc
-"Lost In Space" - So was the two hours of my life that I spent watching this in a virtually deserted cinema. Good cast (Oldman, Hurt etc) awful film.

However, I'm actually not much of a cinema goer, preferring to watch films on DVD or TV.

While getting back with an old girlfriend from a few years prior, she suggested we go see "Moonstruck". It was HORRIBLE, but played right into my plan for getting into her pants. That's the only thing helpful Cher has ever done in her whole life as far as I'm concerned. Cher acting + Old girlfriend + popcorn = doin' the boing boing. This world is strange.

I saw Shutter(American) with a friend, we had planned to see this atrocity weeks before and we knew we were in for a ride. We entered the theater, almost no one was there. Just an elderly couple and two or three teens but that's about it. All we did was laugh at the movie right there. We were crying of laughter at how bad the movie was. The old couple joined us in laughing at the movie. We left the theater with great joy because we saw one of the crappiest films ever put out in theaters.

Primary Colors- I think if I were more politically motivated, I would have found this hilarious.  Instead, I found it boring.  Most of the humor probably carried over better in book format.

Deep Impact- Not lying.  I hated this damn movie.  Everyone I talk to seems to love it.

Armageddon- I liked it the first time I saw it, but began to realize how actually lousy it was after a while. 

Resident Evil: Extinction- The first two were over the top and still fun to watch bad flicks.  This one is just bad, not to mention ridiculous and disjointed. 

I can honestly say I've never walked out on a film, though.  I've never even come close.  I've shut off plenty of videos before, sure, but never walked out on a movie.

Batman and Robin only one good thing about that movie was Uma Thurman's butt. :buggedout:

I dunno, man. Pretty much EVERYTHING about that movie suked. Im glad i wasnt there in the theaters coz I can imagine the riots that broke out.

"7.00$ for THIS?! The next thing I see with 2 legs, I will PUNCH!"

Ugh - there are a lot that come to mind, but the 2 worst:

Miami Vice - I actually stopped in the hallway to sit on the bench for a few minutes on my way to the bathroom just to miss more of this movie.

Wing Commander - I was a huge fan of the games and this was a gigantic disappointment.  Matthew Lillard is a rotten actor!

Not the worst movie by any, but the only movie ever to put me to sleep "Cool World."

For me, Cool World marks the transition from the "almost every movie I see in the theater is good" to the "almost every movie I see in the theater is bad, WTF?" portions of my movie-watching life.

I don't know if it was just because I entered my teens, or because movies really did start to suck all of a sudden, but Cool World was the very first movie I saw in the theater that really disappointed me.  Ever since then, I've watched fewer and fewer movies in the theater, and fewer new movies period.

  Many years ago I remember going to see the Corsican brothers at the midnight movie.I think its the only movie I've ever walked out on.Me and my buddies weren't expecting the usual pot smoking Cheech and Chong but we also weren't expecting a lame-ass laugh free comedy.Bad even by wasted standards.Unfunny comedies are to me the hardest flix to watch.

More recently I've seen AVP2 (uggh) The hills have eyes2 (had some redeeming qualities)Nothing really god awful.

Doom- The Rock was the best part of this flick.  His performance could not save this movie, at all.  And he's the best actor of the movie.  Script was terrible.

My ex and I saw Dracula: Dead and Loving It. About halfway through we started discussing wether we should walk out. We stuck with it though. It was pretty painful and not in the least bit funny.

Dunno...my parents were big sci-fi fans when I was a kid so I saw a lor of really bad stuff in the theater in the 70s and 80s (Metalstorm comes to mind as one of the worst...Message From Space as well)

*I* wasn't paying...but someone did...

There's an anime movie called "X" that was realeased theatrically in the 'States for some reason.  My friend Jason and I thought, "Neat, anime on the big screen."  (Doesn't happen very much here in TN.)

It.  Was.  Unbearable.

The dub work was pretty good but the entire movie was just people saying "Kamuii" about 10,000 times, buildings collapsing over and over and over, and people cradling and talking to severed heads.  It felt like somebody forgot to put in about half the plot.

Maybe because they did. The movie may have been an abbreviated form of a 26-part anime series of the same name.

I have a best friend who actually saw Megaforce in theaters back in 1982.

"st friend who actually saw Megaforce in theaters back in 1982."

That would be another one I saw when it was released...and I thought it was so cool, too

I believe you are correct.

As a general rule, I try to stay away from "unwatchable" movies.  There's a big difference between "bad movies" and unwatchable ones.  Plan 9 , Andy Milligan films, etc. are typically regarded as "bad", yet I'd watch those films over most Hollywood blockbusters any day.

My worst list is as follows:

- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - the worst movie ever made, and a complete betrayal of the original classic.
- The Phantom Menace - shockingly bad, and inexplicably embraced by new generations.  They should have kicked this and the rest of the newer SW 'episodes' to the curb.  Just goes to show you that not even George Lucas can bring back the grandeur of the 1970's.
- Clue (1985)
- Wild at Heart - One of those movies that doesn't get better while watching it.  Lynch at his worst.  This one was a walk-out.

I agree with you on Temple of Doom and the newer Star Wars movies, But I kinda like Clue.

My kids react the same way to Eps1-3 they way I did the originals so I try not to allow my 35 yo nostalgia of a 10 yo perspective color my opinions.

spiderman 3
shocking disapointment :hatred:

WHAT?  You didn't enjoy the multiple crying scenes at the end!! LOL

While IJ&TOD is not the best film of the franchise it's still enjoyable to watch. 
The Phantom Menace was not great, it would have been better if Jar-Jar Binks was not in the film at all.  While I do like the newer films SW films a good bit, I like the original trilogy better.

no i didn't enjoy all the singing and emo spiderman and venom did not get a good screen
time and it just sucked.

I have to disagree about Jar Jar, to a degree.  While my only two Star Wars experiences were Ep. 1 & 2, and I haven't seen the original trilogy, Jar Jar was a comedy character there to sell toys to kids.  Good idea or not, he served a purpose. 

But, I didn't even want to see Episode 1, so I chose to like Jar Jar specifically to p**s off my friends, so whatever.

Why all the hate for Temple of Doom?  It's my favorite Indy movie.

Point of view noted and respected, however IMO, 'temple of doom' remains the most hated movie of all time.  I'm old enough to have enjoyed Spielberg's thrilling early genre films in the theater (CE3K, Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and even 1941), and when this turkey came along it seemed like not only a major betrayal for true-blue Indy fans (of the first picture), but a "loss of magic" that Spielberg instilled in those aforementioned early movies.  As I've stated before on these boards - Spielberg's slide began in 1983 when he directed the abysmal "Kick the Can" episode of Twilight Zone - The Movie.  He's never been able to match the quality of his early films since, no matter how many CGI-infested blockbusters he makes.

From 'short round' to that horrible opening sequence with the antitdode getting kicked around - 'temple of doom' was one mind-numbingly atrocious film - pure misery from start to finish.  It should be noted I'm no fan of its 1989 sequel either - the almost-as-bad 'last crusade'.