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Title: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on May 30, 2020, 04:43:42 PM Since the last the thread was up to Page 71 we should start over again.
You want to know why male brains mature slower than female brains? Well it's because male brains fills up with dad jokes the older we get until it's fully groan. Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on May 30, 2020, 09:36:50 PM What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He flushes! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on June 01, 2020, 01:35:54 PM What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on June 01, 2020, 01:49:40 PM Why do they bury lawyers in 100 foot shafts?
Because deep down, they're not that bad! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on June 01, 2020, 02:22:54 PM Why didn't the biologist and mechanical engineer get along? There wasn't any chemistry.
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: Allhallowsday on June 01, 2020, 02:27:30 PM A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?"
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on June 01, 2020, 03:37:45 PM What's the difference between a chestful of gold and a missing 8th grader?
I don't have a chestful of gold buried in my back yard! (I tell this to my new 7th graders every year; it keeps them in line for a few days!) Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: Allhallowsday on June 01, 2020, 06:54:01 PM ^ ugh :lookingup:
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on June 01, 2020, 08:45:14 PM What's black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?
A Rottweiler! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: Alex on June 03, 2020, 06:34:15 AM I have decided to start breeding cattle on top of Mount Everest. Putting a whole lot of money into this project.
Truly, the steaks have never been higher. Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on June 03, 2020, 08:15:48 AM A drunk walks into a bar. He says to the bar tender-"I'll bet you 50 bucks I can p**s in 5 shot glasses and never spill a drop on your bar!" So the barkeep says- your on!
So the guy stands up on the bar and p**ses all over the place. The bar keep says "You owe me $50!" The drunk says- "That's ok- I bet some other guy $250 I could stand up on top on top of the bar and p**s on it, and the bartender will be happy!" Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on June 13, 2020, 03:39:55 PM My dad has the hear of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on June 13, 2020, 05:50:13 PM Today is National Ball Point Pen Day! (It really is! :buggedout:).
Here's hoping everything in your day CLICKED! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on June 13, 2020, 07:29:57 PM When do you a bad joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on June 13, 2020, 09:29:54 PM These two guys walked into a bar, which is really stupid because if the first one walked into it the second one should have seen it!
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on June 28, 2020, 09:59:28 PM My friend David had his ID stolen, so he's now known as Dav
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on June 28, 2020, 10:35:09 PM I told my wife that my dream was to make an entire working automobile out of spaghetti.
She said I was crazy. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: VenomX73 on June 28, 2020, 10:37:27 PM My boss told me to have a good day....... so I went home. :wink:
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on July 02, 2020, 02:22:19 AM A mouse is f**king an elephant.
The elephant yawns and smacks her head on the headboard. "OW!" the elephant hollers. The mouse says- "That's right! Scream, baby!" Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: indianasmith on July 02, 2020, 05:29:54 AM The definition of ambition is a mouse crawling up an elephant's behind with rape on its mind.
The definition of self-confidence is when the mouse says: "I'm sorry, but this is gonna hurt!" Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: Alex on July 19, 2020, 06:39:04 AM The pesimist sees the tunnel
The optimist sees the light in the tunnel The realist sees the lights of the train The train driver sees three idiots... Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: El Misfit on July 27, 2020, 10:14:23 PM A priest, rabbit, and minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks :What will yall have?" The Rabbit said he doesn't know, only that he's there because of autocorrect.
Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on August 01, 2020, 06:00:55 PM Why is it hard to auction off Nazi memorabilia?
Because everyone looks like they're bidding! (https://i.imgur.com/easePsz.jpg) (https://lunapic.com) Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: Alex on August 04, 2020, 12:52:54 PM No member of Metallica has ever been on The Muppet Show or Sesame Street.
Master of Puppets my arse! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on August 04, 2020, 02:31:49 PM What do you call a monkey that eats Doritos?
A chipmunk! Title: Re: The Truly Terrible Jokes Thread Part 2 Post by: RCMerchant on August 04, 2020, 02:43:16 PM What would you call Robocop if he was homeless?
Hobocop |