Badmovies.org Forum

What would you say was the worst (or best, depending on how you see it) bad movie you've seen?

As in, the cheapest, most laughable, badly made, badly acted, most unprofessional movie?

And why?

Mine is possibly Don't Go Near The Park. A lot of people call it the worst movie, or "best BAD movie" ever.

(http://www.critcononline.com/images/don't%20go%20near%20the%20park.gif)

It's absolutely hilarious.

I did a review on it with some screen captures, animated gifs and audio clips, if anybody wants to read it:

http://www.hooplanet.co.uk/article.php?subaction=showfull&id=1171310033&archive=&start_from=&ucat=8&

So what are some of yours?

DRACULA 3000: INFINITE DARKNESS. I've seen many but this is the most laughable one I've seen without MST3K riffs. It basically makes fun of itself.

the godawful movie that is "The Jar" has to be THE WORST movie i have ever seen.

Right oof the top of my head...? PSYCHED by the 4-D WITCH...

                           (http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/4154/psyched20by20the204d20wba3.jpg)


            ...one of the most incoherent godawful messes I have ever had the misfortune of buying..yes I BOUGHT IT...

probably Starcrash. Of couse there is also Plan 9 from Outer Space.

In my case, it's probably JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH from 1989. Weird thing is I'd kind of like to own this on DVD, which has has an inappropriate cover that has everyone confusing it with WHERE TIME BEGAN?!,  again now... :buggedout:

I have reviewed it for Scifilm: http://www.scifilm.org/reviews/journeycenter.html (http://www.scifilm.org/reviews/journeycenter.html)

Alien Warrior comes pretty close. I'm watching Monster a Go Go a la MST3K and I cannot believe how bad that is. Children of the Living Dead made me want to kill myself more or less.

My worst film is "Cybernator".  What a cheese fest.  But I like it.  It is so bad, it is good.

(http://www.cyberpunkreview.com/images/cybernator13.jpg)

I love Troll 2, which is so ineptly made it boggles the mind.  It makes absolutely no sense.  On a surface level, it's poorly written, acted, directed and produced; but once you scratch beneath that top layer into what the creators of this "film" could possibly have been thinking... that way lies madness.

When Williams S. Burroughs said "Exterminate all rational thought," he probably wasn't thinking of this movie.  But he might of, if he saw it.

(http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/4619/children1oj4.jpg)(http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/3209/children2wh6.jpg)(http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/6608/children4og1.jpg)

CHILDREN OF THE LIVING DEAD.  As a life-long fan of zombie films, it's a particularly bitter pill to find one that's as unwatchably lousy as this.  When you have to ask yourself several times (out loud!)"Tom Savini, what were you thinking?", you know it's a problem.

I know what you're thinking.  Zombies! How could they screw up with any decent effort applied in a genre almost tailor made for low-budget chicanery? 

A camera randomly turned on a group of people waiting at the local mall park-n-ride would net better acting and heaps more gravitas.

Amazingly, it makes Bill Hinzman's FLESHEATER seem like friggin IKIRU!

...and the people behind this sucker....no sense of zombie aesthetics.  Look here, case in point:
(http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/6507/children6fp7.jpg)

Ok, you've got a small budget, fine.  Less zombies, that's ok too.  But don't cluster them all together like that.  It looks amateurish.  Spread 'em around that damn field soldier!  Take advantage of the higher grass there.  Stick a few ghouls back there on that hill.  Damn, do I have to make my own zombie film, or what?

Maybe they travel around like those little gnat clouds you walk into during the summer...all bunched up so when you take a breath you end up inhaling them... :lookingup:

Inhaleing zombie gnats! The horror...the horror...

OCTOPUS!...the so called hero in that is a total....infuriating...WUSS!....must watch the language....
And the rest of it is stupid too.
Nuke the whales and all that...

This would have to come in second to Cybernator.  I thought it was going to be cool, I was mislead by the box cover artwork.  I should sue for mental anguish!! :buggedout:

It was definitely a very bad bad movie.  I would give it an F-.

John

I always find Plan Nine From Outer Space to be so total stupid and silly that I can't seem to stop laughing at it, I sometimes think that Ed Wood made it that way on purpose because anybody dumb enough to make this as a serious film would most likely have killed himself in a household accident. :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:

Worst, as in laughably inept: A toss up between Future War (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=158) and Spaced Out (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=168)

Worst, as in mind-numbing CGI crapfest: Grendel (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=175)

Worst, as in WTF? : The Pickle (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=169)

Worst, as in a re-edited mess: Star Odyssey (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=147)

Also worth mentioning as G-d awful are Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman, One Million AC/DC (The speak goes into the monster, the spear goes into. . .), Vampire Vixens from Venus, Killers Eroticus, and the utterly vapid mind-numbingly boring Zombie Island Massacre.

Man, I haven't seen a lot of the movies mentioned by you guys, but I'd have to say that Corman's The Terror was pretty bad. Pieces is a fun one to watch if I want to laugh a lot. Sisters of Death is just plain stupid. But the only movie I can't make myself sit down and watch in one sitting (consistantly, I've tried a half-dozen times!) is merely A River Runs Through It.

Oh my god, y'all! I just watched a totally craptacular movie called Bloody Jack. Let me tell you, it was some of that bad. I laughed and laughed at the people running around with flashlights and tripping over things in the broad daylight. I think the explanation was they were in Alaska.

Then, of course, there is the bizarre Idaho Transfer. I think I watched it five times before I finally figured out what was going on.

Bag of Crushed Child was definitely the most amateurish thing I've ever seen.  I think you can download it over at Ziggy's Video Realm.  Pretty much half the movies in those Brentwood 10 movie sets qualify.  They opened my eyes to a whole new level of low production values.  Broken Skull stands out in my memory.  The dialogue is quite soft, but somebody closes the door on a medicine cabinet and it sounds like a gunshot.  Two people will be having a conversation and there will be two cameras (and apparently two microphones) filming it.  One camera has a very loud humming noise, the other doesn't.  So the noise starts and stops every time we switch from one character to another.  Then there's Princess Warrior, if you ever want to see bad acting, check that out.  For the plot, well, two cops catch some girls, and instead of taking them to a police station, when night falls they all just sleep in the car.  The girls handcuff the cops to the steering wheel and escape.

The worst flim I ever saw by an Oscar (TM, R, CC, LMNOP) winner is "Full Frontal".  No, it's not a porno.  It will make you want to pull your brains out of your nose about 10 minutes into it.  Brad Pitt gets billing but he's in it for maybe 15 seconds.  It's not art-y, it's not dramatic, it's not funny.  Pure dreck!  Ye Been Warned!

Steven Soderbergh, you should be ashamed!

Egad, I think that I am happy I've not seen it - just based on the title.


I don't know, I think the scenes on the motorcycle (Or was it a scooter?) were all rather well done.  Not that there were a lot of scenes with those two on the motorcycle.  Okay, I am being facetious.  I think that half the movie was filmed either with them on the motorcycle or at the entryway of the one house.

Another one that comes to mind is From Dusk Till Dawn 2.  Horrible film, then in the information screen (Direct TV) it lists Bruce Cambell and Tiffany Thiesen (Is that how it is spelt?) for the major roles and they die 5 minutes into the film and do not show back up.

What a let down.  I thought Bruce would be a head vampire or something.

John

There are so many I could list.  I suppose Garden of the Dead would be one.  Not only does it have running zombies ala Dawn of the Dead remake, but they just seem to pop out at random times and arbitrarily hit someone with a weapon.  Yes, these zombies use weapons.  They're not at all flesh eaters.  At least, not that I remember.  There's also the hillbilly romance angle they've cooked up in this movie.  

Let us also not forget Superbeast.  While some have liked this movie, I found it to be a long, boring, uneventful waste of time.  Never before have I seen a character wander around and do absolutely nothing useful to any sort of plot for such long periods of time!  I mean, there's one scene where she investigates the forest for five minutes!  

And yes, I've seen Children of the Living Dead.  That movie taught me a valuable lesson: Always read a few reviews before buying an unknown flick.  Good god, did i hurt.  I tried to make myself like it so many times.  I really liked Tom Savini while he was in it, but he's only in the first fifteen minutes of it.  From there, it just goes straight to hell.  And this was supposed to be the "true" sequel to Night of the Living Dead.  

Princess Warrior?

I swear I have that on DVD somewhere.  Yeah, I actually bought it, never managed to watch it from beginning to end though.  Don't remember much about it aside from the cover, which had NOTHING to do with the actual movie.   :hatred:

Yeah, I'm your typical victim of packaging.  Slap a nice bit of misleading artwork onto your DVDs and I'm the fool who's soon parted with his money.   :bouncegiggle:

I've been a longtime reader of this site (since around 2000 or maybe even earlier) and I must say that I agree about the Brentwood collections. I love those things just to see what kind of nonsense people have made in the name of filmmaking.
I'll have to pull out Broken Skull now. I have it somewhere around here, but I've yet to watch it.

I've been watching bad movies for a few years now, and for me, nothing comes close to the gem that is "Manos:  The Hands of Fate."  Single-camera action, stock footage, dub-overs, chick fights, and a man with giant knees?  Oh glory.

"Troll 2" is also way up there.  Just watching grandpa freeze time so a kid can pee on a table is enough for me. 

A slew of other shlock favorites would be "Fist of Fear, Touch of Death," "Night Train to Terror," "Catman in Lethal Track," and "Hard Rock Zombies." 

Here's to masochism!   :cheers:

I've been a fan of this site for several years and have just recently discovered this forum. I've been a fan of these films since I sat through an enviromental double feature of 'Frogs' and 'Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster' at our local theater.

Just to get started off here, here's 10 of my favorites I think represent some of the best of the worst: 

Maniac (1934)
The Mysterious Mr. Wong (1934)
The White Gorilla (1945)
Chained for Life (1951)
The Ghastly Ones (1968)
The Revenge of Dr. X (1970)
Blackenstein (1973)
Night of the Demon (1980)
Battlefield Earth (2000)
The War of the Worlds (2005) Timothy Hines version

If you're truly a bad movie fan and you've never seen 'The Revenge of Dr. X', the story of a grumpy NASA scientist ("How in the hell can anybody be so utterly stupid as to build a rocket base on the coast of Florida?!?") and his puppy-eating Venus Fly Trap monster, you owe it to yourself to find a copy right away. The film has the wrong credits and the screenplay is by Edward D. Wood, Jr.!

Welcome aboard and, man, I would say that the Godzilla flick was the easier of the two.  "Frogs" is fairly slow moving, much like the giant snapping turtle that slowly closes in on the victim who is trapped in the mud.  Of course, you have the frogs slowly hopping their way to Milland's death at the end.  Imagine him like Brando in "Apocalypse Now," but repeating "The hopping.  The hopping..." as he dies.

Think that I heard about "The Revenge of Dr. X" before (I went through a phase of tracking down killer plant movies).  If this is the same movie, it was rumored to be terribly tedious.

Thanks for the warm welcome. It's always great to find some kindred spirits!

I definitely agree that the Godzilla film was easily the more enjoyable, especially since we were treated to that great enviro-song "Save the Earth". I remember the most disturbing scene in Frogs was when the froggies climbed all over Milland's birthday cake. The poster was great, though, with the hand hanging out of the frog's mouth.

The Revenge of Dr. X aka The Double Garden is a bit longer than most films in this class, clocking in at just over 90 minutes. But it does have many great mind-boggling moments (in 1970 did you really have to drive to from Florida to North Carolina to catch a plane to Japan? If a greasy fat guy holding two snakes invited you into his barn, would you chuckle to yourself  and enter? Would you forget that your father's summer resort is next to an active volcano?) mostly curtesy of Wood's unmistakable dialogue. He really liked the word "facts". And the monster is a hoot: a face like the monster in Dracula vs Frankenstein, a big daisy neck, and flytrap hands and feet. I think it's supposed to be a semi-remake of The Manster, but I'm not sure.  There's some topless pearl drivers toward the middle if things get too tedious!

Anyway, everyone can judge for themselves. He's a link to the thing on Google video. Again, the credits at the beginning are wrong. They actually belong to a rerelease The Mad Doctor of Blood Island. The real star is James Craig, who was a MGM star in the 40's.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5074520914321662305&q=the+revenge+of+doctor+x (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5074520914321662305&q=the+revenge+of+doctor+x)

Holy mother of Mercy...I just fast forwarded to bits and pieces...tomorrow I will watch it all..if my mind can take it. I've heard about it,and read the review in the Psychotronic Video Guide,but  seeing is unbelieving! I MUST own this movie,to torture my family with.heeheehee...! :teddyr:

I got my copy in "Chilling Classics", one of those 50 movies for twenty bucks packs.
I'd read that review in the Psychotronic Video Guide and couldn't believe it when I stumbled on it.

A really weird scene has the doctor fantasizing about the monster slurping up rabbits, chickens, puppies, rats, etc. with its flytrap hands. 

I dearly love those 50 movie packs. They're like manna from Heaven!

Wow!  This sounds too good.  Somebody pinch me.

I have or have had a few in my collection these were so colossaly bad they made my tongue shrivel from the sheer cheese overload:

The Car ( James Brolin how could you... :bluesad: lets see an ominous car killin folks in a desert town i'm suprised Dennis Weaver didn't show up and backhand him for even trying to grab some of Duels thunder.

The Dead Next Door ..... ive never experienced physical pain from a film till i popped this one into my vcr


House of Wax    Paris Hilton was in this one for what reason? lets go a step further the latest batch of "next gen horror" flicks(House on Haunted Hill, The Haunting, Scream,I Don't Care What You Did Last Summer etc..) be they remakes or just new lack one crucial thing the great movies of yesterday had, you can't identify with any of these people they are all thin trendy looking people with near perfect looks, think about your friends they are either short, tall, fat, have irregular teeth, bad hair, dress how they please etc..

Dead Heat    Joe Piscopo and Dirk Benedict ick  just ick

i'll have to go through my archives i'm sure i got more

Dead Heat had Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams as the stars not Dirk Benedict...

I think I have every one of those 50 mega movie pack, I find them often at 'Big Lots' for as little as $10 a set, it's hit or miss with them sometimes they have them some times they don't. There are some real winner in those sets. Between those and Something Weird Video one can amass quite the bad movie collection.

Yup sorry i should have checked first i wasn't to sure but in a film that bad i naturally went with Dirk  :teddyr:

I got subjected to some late 70's George Kennedy(!) movie this past weekend entitled "Just Before Dawn".

I would have to say that this movie maybe rivals Manos in terms of pure cinematic ineptitude.

The worst part is that it was a 2 disc special edition released by Media Blasters!

The director was Jeff Lieberman who some might know as the director of that other cinematic abomination known as Squirm.

(http://media.bestprices.com/content/dvd/30/259533.jpg)

 

I saw "Just before Dawn"not to long ago but I was drifting in out of sleep so I missed some parts. All I remember the girl killing one the manics, by shoving her arm down his throat.

Yeah, that was at the end.  Which is kind of funny, because the ending of the recent film Feast had a very similar scene in it.

 I really dig this film. I still have my old Paragon VHS copy and hold it dearly.

 The worst was to me (off the top of my head) Mission Impossible 2,  Tarkan versus the Vikings and Toxic Zombies were  pretty horrible experiences for me.

For sheer mindnumbing boredom, nothing beats Immortel Ad Vitam. Even Final Fantasy, the Spirits Within is more interesting.

People out there must have seen 'From Hell It Came'. I don't think I've EVER seen such a fantastic bad movie. The tree monster costume works on the same principle as a hobble skirt, thus a two-year-old could escape it at a moderate rate of toddle. plus the creature kills people by falling on top of them while they stand and scream, rather than walking off at a smart pace.

Another is 'Empire of the Ants' which, splendidly, stars Joan Collins as an evil property developer. Some of that growth hormone from 'Frankenfish' whatever must have made its way into the ecosystem and had surprising effects on the local ant population. There are 3 types of special effect: jerky stop-motion ants (inexplicably) destroying a motor launch etc; ordinary-sized ants crawling over models of trees, roads, sheds etc (this makes the ants look average -size and the models very very small); lastly, off-screen assistants thrust huge rubber models of ants at the screaming cast. It's a hoot 'n' a holler, I promise you.

Mother of Pearl . .
I have heard of this film, but never seen it --
I went to the review site & read your review of it --
This sounds too crazy to be believed, but, of course, this is where one goes to find films like these, and not down a dirty, disgusting, drug-addict & crack whore filled alley to meet our pusher . . .
Sorry . . .
Anyway, I am going to seek this monstrosity out the next chance I get . . . It sounds wholly amazing, and I'm surprised that I haven't seen it yet --
 :bouncegiggle:
peter johnson/denny crane

I hate Star Oddysey. It s sooooo boring. the only redeemable quality is the robot boxing matches where the robot keeps hitting the ref.


So far my favorite unintetional comedy is SUPER INFRAMAN!


Little girl- "Im lost!"

Infra man-"Its ok! look! ill do a trick! HUP!"

Oh dearie me ~ I think I've already seen two South African made films on this thread. Dracula 3000 and From Dusk Till Dawn 2.  :teddyr:

One simple little word makes me giggle like a stoner whenever I hear it, because it reminds me of a hilaiously crappy film: REPTILIAN

From what I've read, you'll want to hold onto that VHS copy of Just Before Dawn as the DVD version I saw recently is missing some gore shots that are present in the Paragon VHS copy.

Yeah, I made that mistake a few years ago. I sold a VHS copy of the Wicker Man that seemed to be a little longer than the DVD.
Plus, I really dug "Squirm" also!

Body Slam- Just ugh.  Roddy Piper stars, along with Kellie Martin as his daughter and Dirk Benedict as his manager.  I don't even think this thing has a dvd, it's that bad.  But, it does feature a nice little cameo by midget actor Billy Barty calling Charles Nelson Reilly a deragorty term. 

NINJA BACHELOR PARTY

NINJA BACHELOR PARTY

NINJA BACHELOR PARTY



"Charlie . . . you been drinkin' that Robutussin agin???"

FORBIDDEN ZONE is HEEEEELARIOUS, says I!

Evil Town (1987)

It was like watching a trainwreck. It was horrible beyond belief yet I couldn't look away. Apparently they cut two or three movies together and made it into one.
I would buy it on DVD if they ever release it though, just to see how it holds up after all these years.

Last night I watched The Wasp Woman and Monster from Green Hell.  Wasp Woman was a an incredibly boring film save for the "cat-attack" and a couple of other funny bits.

Monster from Green Hell, now there's a doozy.  Basically everything about it is inept.  It got good pretty quickly when a big goofy montrous bug was superimposed (horribly) over stock footage of various African animals fleeing for their lives.  The ending volcanic eruption bit is also wonderful.

 Some of my very favorit 'so bad their good' movies...
!. BLOODFREAK-Andrew does a great review of this stinker! The pot smoking,turkey / vampire monster and ! Unr his Jesus freak girl freind.Minboggling.
2. ROBOT MONSTER-' He is just a Rooo-man,living in Bronsan Can- yon,making all his Ro-Man plans for ...uh...somebody..."
3. KILLERS from SPACE-Peter Graves against giant bugs and ping pong eyed aliens wth TV's in Bronsan Canyon (the un-official home away from home for cheezy invaders from space.)
4. HORROR of the BLOOD MONSTERS-Al Adamson's patchwork Philipino prehysteric vampire planet...populated by vampire people,crawfish people,bat people...and John Carridine!
5.ASTRO ZOMBIES-More nonsense with John Carridine and flashlight powered zombies...and Tura (FASTER,p***y CAT,KILL!KILL!) Santana!
 6. ORGY of the LIVING DEAD-A.C.Stephens and Ed Wood team up to give us a bizzare strip tease show from the nether world...and who is the ruler of the nether world? The Amazing Criswell, of course! As a extra bounus....it also feature a horny werewolf and mummy...and a pre- Elvira  vampire chick!....
  ....oops! gotta go! Tara Sue needs the computer! More  later...!

The Christina Ricci film "Pumpkin".  All I can say is if you drive over a cliff in California at 80 mph and the car blows up, you won't walk away with just a bruised head. 

HA! I watched that and it was called "Aliens from Space". Its a little slow, but the ping pong-eyed dudes are worth it. HAW!

Galaxy of Terror (no, not that one) is a double DVD with four movies on it.  The only one I've seen so far is The Dinosaur Chronicles Part I. "three shipwrecked travelers on an island lost in time, filled with ancient beast of the past, hungry for blood, living on THE PREHISTORIC ISLAND."

Is utterly horrible.  It looks like John Polonia's (who's the director) first time making a movie.  The "acting" is bad, dialog is dumb and the forty minutes seems like an eternity.

For instance, the guys are shipwrecked on a deserted island, yet the drunk guy continues to have a stash of half empty liquor bottles. I'm not sure it is possible to describe how bad a movie this is.

And yes, this is another one from Brentwood studios.

EEEEEYOOP! Welcome to the weird, wacky world of the Polonia Brothers! Don't you love that spider-monster hand puppet?

Be sure to catch PREYLIEN: ALIEN PREDATORS.
It's a classic of another kind.

Actually that's on that same GOT 4 movie set.  So are Blood Red Planet and The Weapon.  It's a Polonia horror-fest.

Preylian is a sub-cable access quality production.  And this from the guy who saw, many years ago, a local production called 'Dr. What' (a Dr. Who spoof) in which the 'Cyberman' was a girl wearing a yellow bucket on her head with a smiley face painted on it!   :buggedout:

Though it is interesting that they managed to lift some (brief) CGI spaceship from who knows where.

Yep, I forgot to mention it's included in that set.

This reminds me that I haven't watched THE WEAPON yet, or more specifically, I haven't managed to stay awake for more than the first few minutes of THE WEAPON yet.

Lil' Cerberus aught to be around directly - he seems particularly tortured by the madness that is The Polonia Brothers.

I will say The Polonia Brothers have given me a new respect for the relatively sophisticated films of Don Dohler (RIP).

They've got a whole world?  Part of me is scared that they have a whole world, another part is relieved that they don't come from mine.  I'll have to slip Preylien in this weekend.

Oh, and I loved the spider monster.

NO! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I PROMISED MYSELF I'D STOP!!! I PROMISED MYSELF!!!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

I have yet to suffer through Splatter Farm & Night Crawlers.

Tonight, I'm going to subject myself to Killers from Space just to cleanse my mind.

that's a very healthy view.

Keep the good thoughts or you're likely to end up like LilCerberus (see above).

 :teddyr:



have you ever seen any of Nick Millard's films, particularly CRIMINALLY INSANE 2 aka CRAZY FAT ETHEL 2 (1987)?

Not only is it made on even more primative video equipment than The Polonia's, it's also mostly made up of footage from CRIMINALLY INSANE (1975)  that Crazy Fat Ethel "remembers" throughout the film.

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/Criminally2.jpg)

The original CRIMINALLY INSANE is (intentually) pretty amusing in a John Water-ish kind of way, but the 12-years-later sequel is just about unwatchable. Believe it or not, Millard and Alden continued with the Ethel character in DEATH NURSE (1987) and DEATH NURSE 2 (1988).

On a sad note I just read Priscilla Alden, who was awfully game to star in many of Millard's "movies" and was also a part-time opera singer,  passed away about a month ago.

R.I.P., Ethel.

BONUS FEATURE: Here's a YouTube review of CRAZY FAT ETHEL 2  by someone who calls himself the 'Cinema Snob'.

WARNING! EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tc2Sq2RonI

You know I think I have that BFE2 flick on DVD, somewhere.  Funny how you can buy something, review it to be sure it doesn't have any obvious defects, then just forget to ever watch it.  And now, thanks to you, I can't even claim THAT small comfort!!!   :hatred:


j/k

Dawn Of The Dead was pretty bad, me and some friends got it out and thought it would be scary but just ended up laughing the whole way through it

Ah, "Crazy Fat Ethel."  I really need to seek those out and watch them again.  That was one of the few movies that we stopped watching and never tried to finish, way back when.

I'm uncertain if the thread is intended for so bad they are fun or so bad they are painful.  However, "Rock 'n Roll Nightmare" has to qualify as a film so badly made that you laugh at it.  The awkwardly inserted scenes with people being killed, the lines said by the band members, the sock puppet demons that drink Coke and smoke - then Thor! wearing his leather thong and fighting rubber starfish at the end.

Regardless how well the disc functions technically, I can guarantee you there are plenty of obvious defects in this movie.  :teddyr:



Well, with the two CRIMINALLY INSANE movies you get one of each.

I can recommend the first film as a genuinely amusing and effective little movie. It would make a good double feature with Alan Ormsby's DERANGED (1974), another surprisingly good  low-budget black comedy/horror film.

The sequel, as I hinted at earlier, is as painful as they come.

Know ye that, because of this thread, the following review: PREYLIEN: ALIEN PREDATORS (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=284) has gone live.  Let the lamentations begin.  Oh, I see you've already started. . .

 :bouncegiggle:

Defenetly Crazy fat ehtel 2 is a horrible film, i just made a reader reivew for it. On the other hand crimanally insane, crazy fat ethel 1 is a good movie withthe classic 70's exploitation qualaty we've come to know and love :cheers:

Rock N Roll Nightmare was a lot of fun, Black Devil Doll From Hell is probably the worst (badly made) yet still laughable movie I've seen.

Madonaa's Swept Away comes to mind just because it had a such a big budget and was so massively embrassing.  i mean plan 9 is bad but it played at a couple theatres and the became a cult thing.  swept away will not become a cult late night movie.  it will be "swept away".

I always tell people to see it and they never do.  that says something.  about me.   but about it too!

There were some real stinkers that would show up in afternoon movie showings on TV when I was a kid. Even back then, this one struck me as laughably bad: A Russian fairy tale called Morozko (1964), which apparently showed up in MST3K as "Jack Frost".

Haven't watched this movie since the 60s, so I'm not sure whether its badness has aged well.

                                            \/ \/ \/ \/

Hmm....
Some of the bet/worst include:
A.P.E.X.-this movie hates me
Manos:The hands of fate-I don't think I have to say anything
Santa Clause:Santa, Merlin, and Hephaestus in the same movie? wow
Rats-just unprofessional, not very painful
Class of 1999-aaaaaaaaargh
GiANTs- oh god, no! Horrible special effects are attacking some retards! The humanity!

Also judging by the first 15 minutes I saw, I could add The curse of the headless horseman, but I won't until I've seen the whole thing.

Actually that's pretty decent.  No, really, there's worse out there!

FUTURE WAR
THE DEMOLITIONIST
PROTOTYPE
MARKUS 4
ROBO VAMPIRE

Well that last one may qualify as so hilariously bad it's unintentionally funny.

 :cheers:

http://bargainbasementthrills.blogspot.com/2006/07/lies-all-lies.html (http://bargainbasementthrills.blogspot.com/2006/07/lies-all-lies.html)

"Revenge of Doctor X" isn't the WORST film, but it does make you long for something as comforting as Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  Here's my review.

I'd vote for "Executioner 2".  It made me want to bang my head against a brick wall.

An indi film called "4 Cheerleaders of the Apocalypse" easily takes the cake.  Zombie, nymphomaniac cheerleaders attack a small town in North Dakota..... and it features Elvis Presley!   :question:

For badly made, you really have to go with some of the more recent miniDV shot films.  I can't really remember any names, they're just so completely forgettable.  One that springs to mind is Dead Life, the worst zombie movie I've ever seen (and I've seen plenty of awful ones).  Ok, it's partially shot on Super8 (which I give it some credit for), but man is it terrible.  Poorly paced, poorly written, horrible shooting, terrible acting, and it's just flat out boring.  It's a miracle it got distribution. 

Say what you will about films like Plan 9, but at least the people making it understood the basics of film creation - stuff like composition, lighting, the use of boom mics or looping.  Many of the more recent straight-to-video DV people do not.  I have to make a particular complaint about people who can't use a mic properly.  If the dialogue is muffled, just loop it!  Seriously, it's REALLY EASY. 

There are so many archetypes of the 'bad film', but three standouts come to mind in three different types. There was a little known movie called Oasis of the Zombies by the schlocky Jesus Franco made during the early eighties. This is one of what I like to call 'vacancy movies', for the simple fact that there is almost nothing in it. No action, nothing resembling art, no consistent dialogue, no explicit zombie gore. Badly performed, sparsely populated nothin'. Another zombie film is Hard Rock Zombies by Krishna Shah, a surprisingly light undead romp involving tight spandex, Hitler, and the eternal love of a "hard rock" musician for the unattainable good girl. It's totally awful, but in the best way. Finally, my pick for the worst movie ever made is one I'm ashamed to have seen. It's called Vase de Noces (Wedding Trough), it was made in '75, and its deplorable. If you're truly interested in the worst humanity has to offer, e-mail me and I'll send you a copy (its almost impossible to find). I can't even explain it fully on a clean website like this, but if you've seen it, you know what I mean. Caution: I'm not kidding!!! This one's really f'd up!

NINJA BACHELOR PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hot:

I doubt there could really be a small comprehensive list worst made. What does it for me is when a movie is so half-arsed in production, but the dividends are expected to be legendary; to me that's humor in itself. But then theres movies that have been so cut-up that it's not an actual film; which without the aid of Joel or Mike and the Bots it can be too painful to watch, like Manos or Monster A Go-Go.

There are so many b-movies from the beginning of the millenium/ end of the century, which have the worst production value because since then anyone can buy a camera and gear, and make their own CGI so easily. Iron Bound Vampire or Alien Species are some examples.

You know, Indiana, you keep bad mouthing this movie so much, you are making me WANT to see it.

Yeah, maybe you're right, but the characters were so annoying that I wanted to walk up to them, and just to beat them to death with their own limbs.
But then again, when I watched it, I was in a bad mood, so it may be better than I remember it, althrough I have doubts.

Probably is "a werewolf in a women's prison", worst acting, F/X, script and everything EVER.

Haven't seen it, but I can already say one thing about it doesn't suck: the premise!

"How in the hell can anybody be so utterly STUPID as to build a rocket base on the coast of Florida??!?"

 :thumbup:  :cheers:  :thumbup:

I must admit to dearly loving this completely inept, wretched excuse for a film.

That has to be the best-lookin' Venus Flytrap monster ever to draw a breath . . .  and I've seen THE MUTATIONS aka THE FREAKMAKER.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0tPdNqHD2o


 

Okay, so now I have lots of title ideas -- BUT I wonder if a scale is possible?  Like using "Robot Monster" as a yardstick -- because that's just the first thing I think of when I see the thread title here :  "most badly made/laughable bad movie" -- There are certainly MANY worse films than "Robot Monster", but I think the dividing line would have to be:  "Did they make you LAUGH -- a LOT??" --

Like, I'm not sure that "Apex" belongs here, nor some of the others, as they don't sound to me so much funny-bad as painful-bad or just-plain-awful bad.  I want the thread to return to the original premise:  Are these films FUNNY?  Did they make you laugh as much as or less than "Robot Monster"?

I am VERY interested in films that could make me laugh more than "Robot Monster" does!!

One of these would have to be "Pumaman!", with Donald Plesence:  Inept photography doesn't even begin to describe it -- bad blue screen flying(The flying hero walks in the sky or is flipped around by an obvious rope around his waist, as he's bent double in the blue-screen shot & his cape does not stretch out behind him), inept dialogue, plot holes the size of spaceships!!  Just had me a hootin' and a hollerin', trying to catch my breath.  Very cheesy $10 spaceship effects,  wooden delivery of lines, yep, this stinker has it all --

peter johnson/denny crane

I don't know if belongs in this list or not, but I would have to say Mirror Mask. The film features some outstanding and innovative animation  but the plot, script and totally inept acting by the human characters make it almost unwatchable.

WHOA WHOA WHOA.

This actually exists?

I remember years ago, my sister watching "Rugrats" on Nickelodeon and in one episode the grandfather goes to the video store, gets "Reptar: The Movie" for the kids and "Vampire Vixens from Venus" for his own enjoyment after the kids go to bed. 

Unfortunately, yes.

A*P*E(1976), a Korean film directed by Paul Leder that features a 36 foot tall ape and was made to undoubtedly cash in on the King Kong craze generated from Dino de Laurentis' KK film also released to theaters in 1976.

A*P*E is without question the worst film I've ever seen: the suit used to render the giant ape was poor, the English dubbing assinine and the special effects were atrocious.

Another stinker that immediately comes to mind: The Mighty Gorga(1969).

I'll see your MIGHTY GORGA and raise you one WHAM BAM, THANK YOU SPACE MAN.

It don't get much worse than that, unless it's a Polonia Bros DTV turd.

Return of the Boogeyman (1994)... A text book example on everything you shouldn't do to make a movie.

If you think you have seen a worse movie than Return of the Boogeyman (1994), then you have not seen Return of the Boogeyman (1994).

(http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z191/HEAVEN13TH/HORRORS/ReturnOfTheBoogeyman.jpg)

I hated Return of the Boogeyman SO much that I couldn't turn it off no matter how much I wanted because that would be letting the movie WIN!  The only thing enjoyable about it was imagining that it was filmed by midgets because a lot of the camera angles were aimed at butts or from the knees up.

Killer Nun springs to mind, or the (Killer) Lift for that matter!

No contest.  It has to be Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

xbjppsdYWgg

I've just got that movie! With swedish subtitles! :bouncegiggle:
Judging by the clip, I'll laugh my ass off. :thumbup:

"GARBAGE DAY"!!!

I'd forgotten about this bad boy.  :drink:

Frogs.

Without friends watching it with you, it can be a very painful film to sit through.

Most of the topless dancers looked bored and I have to say I agreed.  

My pick for the worst is Star Crystal.  Here is part 1 of 10 from youtube (why anyone would put the whole movie on Youtub I do not know).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGc0kHomnac


It is my hope to see all of this one it looks both horrible yet classic...Dan Haggerty and Nazi Elves  :buggedout:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxRgAbhZYqI

The Day of the Dead remake with Ving Rames was painful too.  

BLOOD SHACK was the most deliciously awful movie I've seen in a while, but what makes it even better is the Netflix summary of it:
"Carolyn Brandt plays a woman who goes against the best advice and decides to move into an old estate she's inherited -- even though everyone has told her it's inhabited by a deadly supernatural creature named Chopper, who's been responsible for the mysterious deaths of those who dare cross the mansion's threshold. But the property is rightfully hers, and she's determined to claim it, even if it means she has to face off a wayward spirit."

1. The estate/mansion is actually a SHACK, hence the title.
2. The "deadly supernatural creature" is a guy in a black sweatsuit
3. Chopper?  No,no, it's The CHOOPer!

And at the end, the girl wears a very dazzling pair of pants that made me think she must do pornos. On further investigation, it didn't seem that she did but I think the director has.

Granny (1999)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0225899/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0225899/)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKOzVZQqP3c

Blood Freak, bar none.  Not even Manos:The Hands Of Fate can truly compete with Herschel, the blood-drinking Elvis-lookalike 6-foot turkey.

Elves was made by the same fine people who gave you "Robo-chic" -- I didn't have a part in Elves, gol-durn it, but worked with the usual suspects on other things --
peter johnson/denny crane

It occurs to me that I might just have this on DVD.  I think it's an extra on the Boogeyman DVD I have in my ever growing "to watch someday before the trump of Doom sounds" pile of DVDs.  All I want to know is. .

Is it worse than a Polonia bros. movie?

I recently started revisiting Texan Larry Buchanan's notorious 'Azalea Pictures' TV remakes of several already half-assed (but fun) A.I.P. 50's sci-fi flicks. As bad as stuff like THE EYE CREATURES (née INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN), CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION (née THE SHE CREATURE), ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (née IT CONQUERED THE WORLD), and IN THE YEAR 2889 (née DAY THE WORLD ENDED) are, they can't compare to his original production IT'S ALIVE (not to be confused with Larry Cohen's killer baby flick).

Buchanan's IT'S ALIVE is either a masterpiece of surreal filmmaking or a serious contender for the absolutely worst film ever made. How many other film makers would be brave enough in the last half hour of a 70 minute film where almost nothing has happened to suddenly lapse into a 20 minute dialog-free flashback revealing how the villain turned a middle-aged elementary school teacher into his obedient housekeeper?!? Tommy Kirk is the star, so that probably means it's not a masterpiece of surreal film making.

And then there's his monster, recycled from CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION, which has been dubbed "The Ultimate Cheap Monster" in several reviews.

(http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr154/Raffine/foy_20goofiest_11.jpg)

Paul Blaisdell's monsters from the original A.I.P. films are classics of their kind, and Buchanan's unimaginative cheap ripoffs make them look like pure genius.



His MARS NEEDS WOMEN and CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE are pretty bad, too.

I've never seen any of his 'alternate history' flicks like THE TRIAL OF LEE HARVEY OSWALD or GOOD BYE NORMA JEAN but I understand they're terrible too, but minus the goofy monsters.

I always kind of liked Larry Buchanan's films.  Awful, yes, but they just kind of rolled along in their own soup of weirdness.   Nothing seemed forced (except emoting by the actors).  A very placid and passive type of horror film.  But then my motto is, "You can never have too much cheese, too many silk blouses or be too thin."  I learned that from Karen Carpenter.

I never said I didn't like Buchanan's films.  :teddyr:

As was pointed out in Buchanan's obituary:  His work called to mind a famous line from H.L. Mencken, who, describing President Warren G. Harding's prose, said, ''It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it.''

I admit I had a certain resentment toward his work when I was first exposed to it. in the early 70s our local 'Shock Theater' apparently bought the A.I.P. movie package that included Buchanan's films, since their airings of FRANKENSTEIN, THE WOLFMAN, and other Universal classics were suddenly replaced by constant repeats of THE EYE CREATURES, IT'S ALIVE, and ZONTAR.

Wouldn't have suggested it as you are revisiting his films.  I've heard others rolling their noses up at his films over the years.  I always liked them for the reasons mentioned above and the fact that when you see his monsters, you have to do a double-take to believe you're really seeing something that...lame, for lack of a nicer word.  And John Agar in "Zontar" is classic, almost as bad as "Night Fright". 

God,  I love awful movies!!!!

There's awful and then there's awful.

Sciffy's original movie from a few weeks back, CYCLOPS, had such G-d awful CGI that I had to turn it off before it even got a full 5 minutes in.  Never even saw a single primary character.  OTOH this weeks sciffy original movie, LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON, was just plain awful.  Yet, unlike it's predecessor, the director shot the movie in such a way the "monster" isn't really revealed until near the end.  So while it's awful it's at least watchable, whereas a movie like CYCLOPS that starts off with the reveal of the awful CGI just turns the audience off.

Then there's the DTV movies distributed by Asylum.   Half their output is best describeda s lobotomies on video and the other half, well, the less said about it the better.   :wink:  :bouncegiggle:

I dont think I have seen a Polonia movie, but I doubt they are worse than Return of the Boogeyman (1994).

This is from my review on Myspace:

*Warning this thread will contain spoilers*

Before I start with my rant of the worst movie ever made, let me fill you in. Around 1985/86, I would rent movies in a video store like there is no tomorrow. So one day I’d came across of a movie called The Boogeyman (1980). Which is a cross between HALLOWEEN, THE EXORCIST, AMITYVILLE HORROR and I wouldn’t be too far off and say that The Boogeyman also influences many other 1980’s “B” type horror films such as The Prowler (1981), The Slayer (1982) and The Demons of Ludlow (1984).

Yes, I do love The Boogeyman (1980). I’d remember that the next day I went to the video store and rented Boogeyman II (1983). Only to find out it was one of the worst attempts in making a horror movie that has a huge amount of flashbacks from the first film that I’d have ever seen. Sorry, most of The Boogeyman II has been block out of my mind to give full detail. But I do remember not liking the movie because of the flashbacks.

Thankfully FEARnet has provided The Boogeyman (1980) and Return of the Boogeyman (1994) (V) on their April lineup.


Return of the Boogeyman (1994)

Ok, I didn’t even know there was a Boogeyman III. And since the movie is called Return of the Boogeyman, I’d thought that this could have been an improved version to Boogeyman II or an ill attempt in ripping off from the original Boogeyman movie.

Either case I’d decided to watch Return of the Boogeyman. After all I happen to own the original Boogeyman and I had no reason to watch it on FEARnet.

How could I go into details about Return of the Boogeyman?

Cliff Notes

Return of the Boogeyman is so bad that if your teaching a bunch of film students what not to do, you might find the movie a simple reference tool.

Yes! Return of the Boogeyman that bad.

After the killer drops the Radio in the tub for the 10th time, I was already looking up Return of the Boogeyman in IMDB. Partly because I faintly remember Boogeyman II for being bad with flashbacks and I was quite unsure because Return of the Boogeyman is also loaded with flashbacks. At that moment I was thinking maybe this was Boogeyman II, although I don’t recall seeing the movie back in 1994.

Soon I’d learn that Return of the Boogeyman is really Boogeyman III. My mouth dropped.

What makes Return of the Boogeyman the worst movie ever made?

1st, There is about 65 minutes of Flashbacks of the original Boogeyman (although IMDB also say’s that Return of the Boogeyman combines flashbacks of Boogeyman II. I’m not quite sure what, but I’m willing to guess it’s the part when the killer is dropping the Radio on the bathtub?)

2nd, Although we have to review at least 65 minutes of Flashbacks, this time its narrated by from a girl who seemed to be talking to a therapist. So not only we are seeing Flashbacks from the original movie but also we are listening to a character that is describing each frame.

3rd, If you have ever wonder… What if midgets could get behind a movie camera and film a scene what would it look like? Well… You should check out Return of the Boogeyman. The scenes that aren’t flashbacks seemed to be shot at waist high and close-ups on the characters face is a good clear shot up the characters nose.

4th, How many times can we see the radio dropped into the tub? Ok, if you were looking for a good drinking game and everybody needs to take a shot when the radio hits the tub, I’d swear somebody is going to die of alcohol poisoning. (Or end up drinking 2 big bottles of Jack)

I’m not quite sure how many times they kept flashing that scene but I’d know its has to be more then 20 times!!!

5th, Besides the overuses of flashbacks and filmed by midgets. There seemed to several attempts on artsy filming. Sorry, I cannot pin point the scenes but I’m sure its somewhere between the 5th to the 19th time the Radio is dropped in the tub and towards the ending.

6th, Boring narrations of the therapist opinions and progress by the beach.

7th, What else? Besides the typical stiff scenes, actors/actress that cannot act, poor lighting, random characters that seemed to show up and leave, as well as boring narrations. Try a nonexistent plot and an ending that assumes that there’s going to be a Boogeyman IV.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t think anybody could find a worse movie then Return of the Boogeyman and if you think you had then you have not seen Return of the Boogeyman.

Recommended to Film Students who want to know what not to do in making a movie but doesn’t have the time to review several films.

:)

I've found the best thing to do with "Return Of The Boogeyman" is to find a good shot of the woman, pause it and be amazed at how someone that pretty can float around with a turd like this movie.  Not suggesting she can act, but you'd think she could have been doing photo shoots for Kohl's or, heck, even Wal-Mart instead degrading herself like this.

Karma to you for actually sitting through this thing.  I admit to fast-forwarding through this poop storm just to see if the woman gets naked and I fell asleep doing that.  And Polonia Brothers have SOMETHING happen in their movies, so, yeah, I'd rather watch one of theirs over this.