This morning I got up, as usual, had my coffee...the normal sit around and think about what I'm going to do today. I decided I was going to do the wash, clean the house and mow the lawn. Well I did all these chores and after I finished the lawn I felt I deserved a break so I came in the house and opened a nice cold bottle of frappuccino and went out to the front porch to sit and relax. I bent over to give the pooches some loving and shook (to mix up the chocolate) the frapuccino and splatttttt! Now........... remember the part in this tale of stupidity, where I said "I came in the house and OPENED a nice cold bottle of frappuccino"? Well.....for some reason that one second of opening the frappuccino was omitted from the time line in my brain. After I came back in to clean up, and let the pooches clean up the porch, I was thinking, if only I hadn't opened the frappuccino or if only I would of set the frappuccino down before loving the pooches, this wouldn't have happened.
Okay, here comes the question......What's some of your stupid moments in time and how could you have changed them for the better? :smile:
Where to begin...yet, there is no end. :smile:
How 'bout from childhood (I just have too many stories):
My parents and I, when I was about 8, had gone camping, but it had been cloudy and cool the whole time. Fishing was not productive and I was kicking about the lake trying to find something to occupy an otherwise boring day with nothing to do and no TV around...BECAUSE WE WERE CAMPING (I'll be damned if I'll ever understand the concept of camping).
I was into catching crawdads (crayfish) at the time, but could not find any. I had looked all along the shallow of the lake, and still no luck.
Trotting along the shore, disheartened, I was about to give up when I spotted one. It was resting on a rock. I picked it up and was exited to find a crawdad, even if it was a little odd looking; for this one had a skinny tail which it liked to curl up.
I went running to my parents to show them the crawdad I had found, with it dangling from my finger by that odd little curled tail it had.
I was quite startled by the expressions of horror on my parents' faces as I ran toward them to show them my crawdad.
Needless to say, I learned, that day, how to tell the difference between a crawdad and a scorpion.
One of my dumber ones was as a younger man. We took a model rocket and ignited it, without a rocket or launching rail to guide it. We also stood around in the near vicinity (strike two). The thing hit me in the chest and burned, more like partially melted, my shirt.
Of course, I also fell down rather painfully last night. We have a lot of black ice here right now. I knew I was walking on it (stepping off a curb to the asphalt). However, the stuff was so slick I still lost my balance. Executed a proper breakfall though, the only thing that got bruised was my hands. My wife couldn't believe I did not break something.
I seemed to have an odd knack for locking myself out during my college days, forgetting my keys when I went out until I locked the door and then DOH!. Thank God I had cousins who helped me out or I might have ended up stranded on the street a couple of times.
Andrew's black ice encounter reminded me that I had a stupid moment just this past weekend.
I had gone over to my sister's house on Saturday morning. It was snowing that morning and around two inches had fallen, covering the ground, and what had previously been there.
I had parked and walked onto the driveway. It was too bad that it did not register until that moment that the driveway had been a solid sheet of ice before the snow fell (these people have a snow shovel and a bag of rocksalt, and both will be in pristine condition for next winter, when they will, again, not be used).
A proper breakfall? Not me. I had to go down doing a proper Jerry Lewis routine. Somehow got a few cuts for my effort.
To many to count. :smile:
Well, here's a few that I remember that involved the use of weapons, tools, and just plain unwise moments.
1) Was about 8 years old and received my first (and only) bow and arrow. A Christmas present I believe. Didn't get to use it till Summer came around months later. Well.........I had this great idea since I didn't have any targets handy I figured I would just shoot one into the air as high as it could go. Pulling back and releasing was great. The arrow went up high then it started drifting and it came down onto the neighbors roof point down sticking straight up from the shingles. Now way to go get it from the two floor house and no way to hide it. Someone was going to know and they were going to know who did it. Didn't tell anyone what had happened and after 24 hours of worry the arrow was suddenly gone. Nobody ever asked me about it. There where many kids in the neighborhood, but nobody else had a bow and arrow.
2) Another Christmas gift. A different year. A BB gun was this years new gift. Many mishaps came as a result. Was hunting in the house with the safety on or so I thought. Pulled the trigger and put a hole in the thick sliding glass door window. Hid the hole with a sticker. Can't remember if my Mom found out or not and I'm sure she didn't care as my parents were getting a divorce. Later went on a hunting expedition with my friends who also had their BB guns when someone spotted a bird and I immediately spun and fired with the BB bouncing off the tree and killing the bird dead. Felt so bad about that one. Don't like killing animals. Later started using old soda cans for shooting practice. Those cans were much thicker and when I shot and hit it the BB came straight back and hit me in the front tooth taking a small bit of enamel with it. Even to this day the color is a shade off.
3) Rock throwing was something that got me in much more trouble. I'll only mention one of the much lesser instances in the folly of rock throwing. In those days we fought with just about anything from fist to rocks if distance was a problem. While having a war with the group across the street (they went to a different school district and our street was the dividing line.) Threw a thin flat rock across the street at our adversaries and it curved due to the shape of the stone right into our neighbors window. A bit scared this time and I went in and told what I had done. If I remember right my parents paid for the window. Another time I was spinning with a large rock in the front yard like a diskus thrower and released at the wrong time and it went through the window. These are small nothing stories comepared to some of my other rock stories.
4) Crossing a frozen river. A group of I believe four of us were crossing a frozen river in Northern Pennsylvania. If was cold, but there was a weakness in the ice that we couldn't see. The oldest boy in our group fell through the ice and went underwater with only his hand holding the edge of the ice and a fast current under the ice. We were all on the ice and first thought is he's gone, but he instantly pulled himself out and onto the surface all by himself. This was no small feat as he was wearing fishing boots that go about the knees and they must have filled while underwater. This was one of many scary moments of my life. That water was moving so fast under the ice and was so thick that if he had not caught the edge of the ice we wouldn't have seen him again. He was the older than us by a year or two and I would occasionally go to the river with him while he checked his traps. One time we checked them and he caught a minx. He use to sell furs and gather any metal that he could sell at the scrap yard to make extra money. He use to tell stories and one of them involved a girl and a horse. Anyway that's for another day.
5) I have about 4 busted wide open head stories. The best ones I've already told you of in other post, so I won't bother you with those. One has left a permenant mark on the forehead.
6) Then there's the time when about 8 years old my bedroom light switch was loose and falling out and we only had our babysitter in the house and I decided to take care of it myself with a screwdriver. The way i used this tool was putting it in the space between the plate and the up/down switch and prying it out. Well this was a bad idea a lightning bolt came out past my head and all the lights went off in the house.
7) In my adult life I once drove taxi and picked up a fare that I knew looked just like the robber described and sketch made of this particular thief who robbed many drivers that month. So when he got in my cab and I sensed this was the guy we were looking for I gave the signal over the CB which was code for backup hoping someone could I.D. this guy. One guy answered the call and I thought he would be there to meet me, but he lived down the street and thought if was nothing and it would be over in a moment as he lived only 6 blocks from the destination. The fare pulls out a revolver and demands my money of which I give to him and he runs out into the projects. The thing I didn't realise or forgot about was that everyone went bowling during that hour of the morning, so instead of a few drivers showing up, nobody showed up. It was dumb trying to catch a robber that way, but nobody could catch him and he had gotten away with it about 6 times that month. The same guy.
There are many more stupid things and ones I can't mention and where the corrective measures are obvious.
I must give Andrew Karma for executing a proper breakfall.
Karma also goes out to Mehard for the proper Jerry Lewis fall. :thumbup:
Quote from: Scott on February 20, 2007, 09:32:34 PM
Karma also goes out to Mehard for the proper Jerry Lewis fall. :thumbup:
Well, that's kind of naughty of me. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Happy/happy-073.gif)
When I was much younger, before I met my wife, I went on a blind date with my friend, his girl friend and her best friend, went to the Ice House in Pasadena for some music and stand-up comedy. The first comic came out and a guy in the front row at the opposite side of the stage said something along the lines of, be funny, funny guy or some such and of course the comic gave him a bad time, it was all funny right up to where the comic said "It's ok, at least you're from Arcadia, I mean you could come from some place like Buffalo." Now here is my stupid moment, ( I had consumed a couple drinks by this time, that always makes me stupid) I yelled out "WHAT'S WRONG WITH BUFFALO!". The comic walked over to our side of the stage and asked if I was from Buffalo, when I said I was he proceeded to tell me and everyone else exactly what was wrong with Buffalo, people from Buffalo in general, and with me in particular. It was embarrassing, maddening, and really funny all at the same time. Now of course I wish I could remember what he said because it was really funny, at my expense of course, but really funny.
Most of my excistance on Earth has been spent making a complete fool of myself in public.
Once,many years ago,me and my brother were entertaining freinds at my house,and I was drunk(as usual). :drink:Well, I had gone to the bathroom,and when I was done doing my business,I staggered out into the kitchen. Unfortunatly, I had forgotton to secure my drawers well, and my PANTS FELL DOWN. In front of GIRLS and everything. And...(OH NO) I wasnt't wearing any underwear. :buggedout: :bluesad:
Scott, your arrow reminded me of one of my childhood boo-boo's. I was at a friends house and the parents weren't home so of course kids will be kids. We were running through the house chasing each other, what's new, I picked up a broom, on the run, decided I would throw it and boinggggg into the wall it went, it just stuck there, vibrating. After the oh s%$# and the laughter stopped the front door opened and in came the parents. Never allowed in there house again. :buggedout:
RC, I used to go to the high school swimming pool every summer when I was younger. At that time I would wear the famous bikini, not a good idea if you plan on diving off the high dive. Many times I would be underwater pulling my top up from my toes. It's funny because all these boys would wait for girls to dive off and they'd hurry up and go under. After a couple of visits to the pool more and more girls were waring one piece suits. :smile:
Quote from: Menard on February 20, 2007, 11:11:13 PM
Quote from: Scott on February 20, 2007, 09:32:34 PM
Karma also goes out to Mehard for the proper Jerry Lewis fall. :thumbup:
Well, that's kind of naughty of me. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Happy/happy-073.gif)
:buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
I used to go aroung plinking with my BB gun all the time. Usually I had good sense and always treated the BB gun like a real gun. One time though, I wanted to see what would happen if I shot at a tire (loose one, laying on the ground -- not stupid enough to shoot at my parents' cars). So I stood behind a tree and took aim and shot. Next thing I know, I felt something hit my right eyebrow.
You'll put an eye out with that thing. Not quite, but only by about half an inch.
I was using a box cutter to open something - I think it was a package I got in the mail, but what it was is not important. Whatever it was, I had placed it on my lap and had turned the blade so that I was pulling on it rather pushing. Whatever it was I was trying to cut suddenly broke, my arm flew up towards my face due to the pressure I was exerting and the blade hit me an inch away from my eye. I came damn close to blinding myself. Needless to say, I never made that mistake again.
I had a two liter bottle of pepsi I couldn't get to open due to extreme pressure. I decided to cut it open, using the EXTREMELY SHARP 1" whittling knife my grandmother gave me. Needless to say, I gave myself a cut down to the bone on my left index finger. Knife was so sharp it barely hurt. Seeing your own bone isn't a great thing. In retrospect, I probably should have had stitches, but now I have a pretty big scar there. Oh well.
Every time I read some of these stories it reminds me of something I've done. I went to pick up my daughter from school, she was in kindergarden at the time. I parked right in front, she came out and got in the truck. A little boy was just standing there crying his eyes out and no body came to help him, so I got out of the truck and shut the door and turned to walk away and something stopped me. I looked at my arm and followed it down to my finger in the door. This must of caused me to go into some kind of shock or something, I just stood there staring at my finger in the door, wondering why it was there. Finally I opened the door, a few seconds later the pain decided to give me a visit. I could also see some bone. The mother picked the crying boy up and went on her merry way. I ended up in the emergency room.
These eye stories reminded me of another one. Maybe I should just number them like Scott. :teddyr: This just happened about a month ago. I went to pick up some roses, they were wrapped in cellophane, I opened the door, bumped the roses and the cellophane slipped across my eye and scratched it or cut it. Who knows, it hurt like hell. Can you believe this? I ended up tapeing it closed for the rest of the day. Okay, I'm done for now... :smile:
One time in like 5th grade i had a Lit test and i hadnt read the book we were suposed to so i just put down "I dont know" for most of the questions. Cuz it's an ANSWER, am I right? It turns out i wasn't right.
Eeeks! Okay, let's get back to something, perhaps painful, but painfully funny.
When I was 14, we lived in a farmhouse, just a cheap rental property until my father was able to find a home to buy. The air conditioning in the house was non-existant, but it was comfortable enough with just using box fans in the windows, of which I had one in the window next to which I slept (no you don't know where this is going).
Being summer, and the window screens being far from perfect, you would have to deal with occasional bugs that found their way in. Being that I was laying in bed (gutterminds), watching TV, it seems a particularly annoying moth was attracted to the TV, and was really bugging the hell out of me; if I could just catch it.
After a while of just ignoring it, it came to light on the bed cover itself. This became my chance, and cautiously, I took my opportunity to rid myself of this annoyance. I raised my fist and came down hard on the moth.
Although I did succeed in killing the moth, I should have been more attentive to the exact position where it had landed, as, being a guy, it became painfully obvious that I did not do myself any favors at that point as I was doubled up in pain, thinking what an idiot I was. :buggedout:
That's a good one, Menard.
Hence his "namesake". :bouncegiggle:
See. Its this repitition of pain, explains why i don't try to remember such events....try being the operative word...
The very first car that I had lost power going up a hill and I managed to pull over in the grass on the side of the road.
My catalytic converter (or something) had gone out causing my engine to severely heat up. At least I think that's what happened.
Anyhoo, I had a really bad oil leak and there was burning/flaming oil dripping from my engine onto the grass.
Fearing that it would start a brush fire or something, I proceeded to push my car out in the middle of the street to get it out of the grass. Unfortunately, I forgot that I was on a hill.
I pushed my car, it rolled down the hill (thankfully no one was coming up at that time) and proceeded to cross lanes and smash into an enbankment.
I've never felt dumber in my entire life. but that car was a piece of junk so it was fitting end for it! :buggedout: