Badmovies.org Forum

I have been bouncing this idea around for ages, but plan on getting serious about it.  Is anyone interested in a Badmovies.org shirt?

The general plan is to have, on the back, "A lesson learned at Badmovies.org."  Under that will appear a lesson from one of the reviews, along with the movie title in parenthesis at the very bottom.

I am going to start evaluating companies to make the shirts.  The shirts would be black, with slime green silk-screened letters and 100% cotton (preshrunk).  My major concern is to find a company that does good quality silk-screening.  I had shirts made for my paintball team about six years ago.  Mine is starting to fade, but I have worn it constantly.  That is the sort of quality I want.  No idea on price, but they will probably cost me $12 - $14 each (guessing).

Now, does anyone have favorite lessons?  I will probably pick a couple and have numbers of each done. Some that I am considering:

Fruit bats are, strangely enough, carnivorous. (The Abominable Dr. Phibes)
Dinosaur is Latin for "stuff glued on lizard." (Vampire Men of the Lost Planet)
If it looks like a man-eating plant then it probably is a man-eating plant. (The Angry Red Planet)
You have not had a bad day until you are flash-burned and then attacked by a swarm of angry bees. (Cherry 2000)
Women do not mind when their boyfriends sing about other girls.  (Eegah!)
The sun rises faster in Japan, probably because it is closer to the east.  (Gamera vs. Gaos)
Sweat-soaked shirts burn easily and make excellent torches. (Squirm)

Hummmm....i like it! Too bad you can'l afford xxxxl, or i'd like one. Good idea, asking the gang what "Lessons learned" should go on the T's. The biggest problim i can see.....narrowing it down to the best of the best!

Flange, when I get them done, I will make sure to ask you what lesson you want and what size.  Most of them will be L and XL anyway.  Most people I know like their t-shirts to be loose.  I usually wear XL, that being a product of my height.

Andrew

Big Bad Mama:
Fat women are like turtles, helpless if knocked onto their back.
Sometimes throwing a preacher out of a moving car is the right thing to do.

City of the Walking Dead:
Nothing gets a girl hot like smacking the s**t out of her.

Ok..JUST KIDDING.No use in getting folks beat up.

Dawn of the Dead: If you can't be with the one you love, eat the one your with.
Fright Show: Never stick your head under the bed in a b-movie
Attack of the killer tomatoes: Never ask killer tomatoes to 'pass the ketchup'

I think it's a good idea :)

Btw if you printed the killer tomato line..i'd buy it. That was my favorite line in the whole film!

I'm all about it. I'd definitely take one, particularly you Angry Red Planet and Squirm lessons.

I want the killer tomatoe tshirt! hehe.

Bad Taste: People carrying axes are rarely friendly
Bad Taste: Pine cones are about the least threatening thing you can chuck at someone who has a chainsaw.

The Brain: Cutting someone in half with a chainsaw causes no splatter and is unlikely to attract the attention of any police within 50 yards.
The Brain: Our heads come off pretty easily - be careful.

Carnosaur: Chaining yourself to heavy equipment when dinosaurs are around is a bad idea.

DeadAlive: Gardening tools are very effective against zombies, as are lawn gnomes.

Evil Dead 2: Never tell the man holding a double barrel shotgun, "I'll swallow your soul!"

Howard the duck: Those suffering from demonic possession should not drive or operate heavy machinery.

Jack Frost: Sleds are guillotines waiting to happen.

What about using CAFE PRESS.
www.cafepress.com I think it is. You just upload your pictures and they print them and send them to people who buy them, its free, and you get a portion of the money.

Arabs and Israelis should not hold potluck dinners together. -Sexette
(holds some meaning now don't you think)

When attacked by a monster, try throwing the cat at it.
The best way to instill urgency in people is through flatulence.
Men hate being startled by naked women.  
Never punch someone who is wearing a catcher's mask. -There's Nothing Out There

Women always wander around castles at night in something sexy.
Slave girls are expert spacecraft pilots, can set traps with the best of them, and know ancient hieroglyphics like the back of their hand.-Slave Girs From Beyond Infinity

very interested....the fruit bat quote is the best i think....

Yeah, I think if you printed some XXL or XXXL and just charged a little extra, there'd definitely be some interested parties.  Speaking as one of the large, I think some of the more intensely internet inclined people might enjoy the larger sizes.

And I, personally, think that the lessons should be on the front of the shirt, not the back.  Maybe the site logo could go on the back, but maybe you'd rather save money by just screening one side of the shirt.

I think one of the following lessons would be great on a shirt:

Mean people live in bowling balls.  -- "Babes in Toyland"

Llamas spit toxic cud which looks like silly string and will melt your face off. -- "Barn of the Blood Llama"

Earthquakes are caused by zombies riding motorcycles underground.  -- "Cemetary Man"

Space gorillas love bubbles. --"Robot Monster"

I'm pretty picky about the t-shirts I wear.  Personally, I'd like to see a mock-up visual of the shirts before I commit.  Just the design on a t-shirt frame would be enough.

Also, my suggestion would be to go for the "longer" cut.  I've bought many t-shirts that subscribe to the short and wide school, and I've never found them comfortable.  What's the point of getting a large t-shirt if it's going to stop at my waist?

Any chance of any other colors besides black?  I'm not really fond of the color, and I live in Phoenix, so I have an excuse.  Some white versions would be nice, maybe a green to go with the slime motif.  "Ringers" are also nice.

Those are just my suggestions.  I'm more than willing to buy a t-shirt, it's just that, like I said, I'm picky.  The long cut is the thing I would be most concerned with.

As for phrases, my favorite lesson learned ever is:

"Special effects need not be special."
-KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

I have seen their shirts and the quality is not good, they fade very quickly.  If I am going to do this, I am going to do it right.

Still bouncing ideas around (you all are great).   Maybe an embroidered slime drop in the center of "www.badmovies.org" (the text in a half circle) for the front breast.  Having the lesson on the front is a good idea too.  Gosh darn it!

I'll take a shirt if it is a lesson learned from ED2, Dead Alive, or heck any of the lessons would work for me. Just having the shirt would be cool it doesn't matter what lesson, we're learning aren't we?!

I like the idea. Add me to the list of people who want larger shirts - 2x or possibly 3x.

A few other possible lessons:

Meteorites have a chewy centre, just like a Tootsie Pop - The Blob

Kaiju never rot - Godzilla vs. King Ghidora

English is the natural language of any respectable species - Planet of the Apes

Narrators are a natural phenomenon, caused by static electricity - The Sword and the Sorcerer.

If you find a puddle of thick yellow liquid, you should taste it - Tarantula

Loved the 'stuff glued on lizard' one, and the one from Angry Red Planet (if it looks like a man-eating plant).

t shirts!!! hell yes. as for lessons learned how bout, ninjas can be used as crystals

Hello!  I think shirts are a great idea!  I wanted to add my 2 cents in on lessons learned that would be shirt appropriate.

Brains can be used like a stress ball, but only once (Lexx: I worship his shadow)

Catatonic grandparents are only biding their time, waiting for a chance to traumatize the children when you aren't looking (Silent Night, Deadly Night-- one of my all time fav movies!!)

I was also wondering if you are always accepting reader reviews, becuz I am itching to write one, just trying to find the appropriate movie.  

Also, if anyone is in Bloomington, IN (or surrounding areas) Plan 9 video, has an AWESOME selection of bad movies and the owner will converse with you about good bad movies.  (It's on Kirkwood across from the Trojan horse)

Deena

I have to admit that I love the idea.  My wife just groaned, but then she'll probably want one too.

Now the logistics of collecting the money and shipping the shirts may be an issue.

Here are a couple of my favorite "lessons" that haven't been mentioned:

"Nobody ever listens to the wiseman." (Army of Darkness)

"Queen made at least one pact with the devil." (Flash Gordon)

"Never p**s off the guy holding the Electric Knife" (Rocky Horror Picture Show)


I do suspect that it is going to be hard to pick the best lessons for the shirts.

Yep!

Deena said:
"I was also wondering if you are always accepting reader reviews, becuz I am itching to write one, just trying to find the appropriate movie."

Sure am, just receiving more than I can possibly post - so I have to make difficult decisions.

GeeWhiz said:
"Now the logistics of collecting the money and shipping the shirts may be an issue."

I have some ideas to make it feasible.  I can, of course, take MO and checks mailed to my Badmovies.org post office box.  Also, I have a PayPal account.  Last, but not least, Amazon.com has their ZShops, which would be a great way to make things easy for anyone who wants to pay with a credit card.

Shipping is not a problem.  You can buy large bundles of padded envelopes at Office Depot.

Hopefully I will have a course of action worked out by next weekend, have to check out some business in the area that do shirts.  What I will do is make "runs" of each Lesson Learned.

My husband and I both love the idea. Plus we agree they need to be a bit longer in length.
Some of my favorite lessons are:

In the future sexual gratification is achieved by taking a pill and holding hands. (My thoughts exactly...)
Public suicide chambers need to be clearly marked
Having some woman smoke me in a bong is the stuff nightmares are made of-BARBARELLA  


If today's church service involves roasting kids alive you might want to leave your daughter at home. -THE BEASTMASTER

Aliens with bird like ships should stay well clear of Earth during duck season. Especially you, yeah you, darn Romulans
Four star generals should not use the phrase, "I'm barely holding my fudge." -THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (One of my husbans favorite films, god help me)

Women are much less attractive when they are talking about a pimple on their ass.
Girls - Never turn turn your head abruptly when someone is applying lipstick to you.
 Cops leave their cars unlocked with keys in the ignition-C.H.U.D.

I'd be wary of padded envelopes. Having worked for a business from teh shipping end the us. mail rips up and damages alot of mail. You can buy cheaper in bulk from ULINE than office depot and if you wanna charge a flat rate of shipping (say $4-5) then that would cover the expense of shipping priority (in which case you can use their boxes for free at their basic rate at about $3.90) Then buy some wrap like bubble wrap cheap to carefully wrap the contents within the box. They have various size boxes. Just a suggestion. I wouldn't trust a flimsy padded envelope for my life from past experience.

I see a very good idea here.  Why not have two or three lessons on each shirt?  The price is going to be the same, since they charge you a flat rate for the silk screening.

I will also look into a lighter color, like a gray or light green, for everyone in hotter places.

Thank you Callysto and Mofo!  And thanks to everyone who has suggested lessons.  I had forgotten about some of them, must be getting old...

I can vouge for Andrew in the design department. He has original ideas and can put them to good use on a t-shirt.

Well, its offical....we want T's! I'd like green on white for summer, and green on black for winter. Also, would you have a Marine patch to recomend with some T's, like for a Marine charity with phone number? Or would that be tacky? I know a B-movie kindd of guy who's Dad and Bro are Marines, and it might be a nice extra.

Racial tension is easily fixed with a liberal application of bleached flour--Billy Jack

If it looks like a man-eating plant then it probably is a man-eating plant. (The Angry Red Planet)
 
What a GREAT idea!! I'd stand in line for one or two...or.....
DJ

 I'd be interested, sure. Just out of curiosity, is there some legal reason that you couldn't put quotes from the movies on the shirts? I like the lessons idea, I'm just wondering.

i like the "attack of the killer klowns" listed above..."special effects need not be so special."

i also like:

DRUNKEN WU TANG: "alcoholics never make it as wine tasters."

-mr. henry

 I would be proud to wear a T based on this site, all my shirts are for crappy punk bands, and they're falling to pieces, so I need new shirts any way.
 Also I have learned many things from visiting this site regularly. Among them, I'm not the only b-movie freak around (I"m okay....You're okay). And secondly, Staff NCO's have a sense of humor (at least one does). Can't wait for the shirts!!
 And another thing..I think all of Susans ideas for Lessons Learned were FRIGGIN HYYYlarious!!!

Life would  be incomplete without one.

P.S. I learned all important life lessons from b-movies.

Finalizing ideas at present.  Here goes:

The shirts are looking to be $13.00, plus about $2.00 for shipping.

They are the Fruit-of-the-Loom %100 cotton Lofteez Tee Shirts (http://www.fruitactivewear.com/catalog/detail.cfm?ID=1&range_no=20230R) in black.  I will definitely see about having a run of light gray shirts.

The front will have a slime drop (green and yellow) over the left breast, with "WWW.BADMOVIES.ORG" in a half circle around it.

The back will say "THE BEST LESSONS COME FROM B-MOVIES" followed by three lessons (still deciding on that, it may get up to five).  All lettering on the shirt will be slime green.

The screenprinting is excellent quality and should last for a long time (much longer than Cafe Press shirts - egad).

The smallest size will be L, with sizes up to XXXL,  most will probably be XL.

The shirts may be ready to go as early as this weekend.  I just have to pony up the money (ouch).

There will be a page here on the site, with pictures, but opening an Amazon.com ZShop is probably the best solution for anyone wishing to pay via credit card.  I will do that.

I was also looking at these shirts:  Lofteez Henley Shirt. (http://www.fruitactivewear.com/catalog/detail.cfm?ID=1&range_no=20230HR) They might be good for an embroidered shirt (just the front, maybe with "I love b-movies" added).

I'm hyped!

Lookin' good, my man! Remember, us big guys need all the help we can get.....right Ken?

T-Shirts would be awesome.  The Lesson Learned Susan mentioned is beautiful - fat women are like turtles...

I also like:
Urinals are unfair to short people.  (Leprachaun 2)