Well I know the obvious favorite for worse movie ever shown on MST3K is Manos, but with the recent release of the MST3K box set I have discovered a film that in my opinion is much worse, Skydivers which is part of the Coleman Troicka. So what does everone else think?
I'd have to say that Manos, even with Joel and the Bots, was one of the most unwatchable movies I've ever seen. It just dragged unbelievably.
Skydivers wasn't all that bad. The 'Petey Plane' bit cracked me up.
Yeah Skydivers did have some good aspects of it like the whole coffee bit, which I can't help, but laugh at a little everytime after reading the reviews of it mentioning the scene and more importantly the MST3K episode, but I think Manos is slightly better as even though the music throughout the film makes it almost unwatchable in itself and the increadiably lame Torgo character in some parts of Skydivers I can actually count every second ticking away of the film.
I liked Torgo. "Tom Cruise is Dr. John!"
I have to say that Red Zone: Cuba is the worst movie I've ever seen done on MST3K.....not only did it drag, but it made no sense....or was this one of the syndicated they cut down to fit the time slot?
Oh my, yes, if not "Manos," then "Red Zone Cuba." I must admit I have never seen "Skydivers" in any form, though...but I can't envision ANYTHING worse than "Red Zone" or "The Beast of Yucca Flats," Coleman's other master-pieces-of-s***.
"Kill the narrator! For God's sake, kill the narrator!!"
I haven't seen them all, but out of the ones I have seen, "Girl in the Golden Boots" is the worst. Not only did it drag out, there was so much bad acting in the movie. The first time I saw it I had to turn it off in the middle of it. The second time I forced myself to watch it. At least some of the jokes by Mike and the Robots were good.
One time, around 2 or 3 am, a couple of my friends and I decided to crash on the couches, so I figured I'd pop in a tape of the MST3K'd Red Zone Cuba. I was out pretty soon, but I found out the next morning that one of my friends had determinedly forced himself to watch the whole thing. Rarely have I seen a more broken man...
I have a confession to make, I've never seen Red Zone Cuba in any form, but these reviews are nearly forcing me to go out and by the dvd in all its blandness.
Also only palatable because of MST3K is "The Creeping Terror." You know a movie's gotta be slow if one of the jokes is: "Well, it's definately creeping alright. I duuno about the terror."
i agree with john. girl in the golden boots never fails to put me to sleep. of course i havent seen many episodes, so i cant compare to well. my favorite episode is The Screaming Skull, which also had the gumby short. and body care and grooming short was priceless as well
I love the "Screaming Skull" episode too. The movie is terrible, and Mike and the 'Bots smack it up good, but I almost crap myself laughing every time I see Crow's little joke on Mike* backfire ("Stop it! Stop it! Aaaaaaaaagh!").
*Crow sticks his head through (or mounts his head on) the control panel, with his eyes removed and the head painted white, playing "The Screaming Skull" when Mike walks in. Mike goes completely bat-s**t and starts beating the helpless Crow with a golf club. Everyone's screaming bloody murder the whole time. (Mike also decapitates Servo by accident.) Wheeee!
My absolute favorite...."Track of the Moonbeast." I've never laughed so hard in my life. One of the main characters is named "johnny longbow" the possibilitis are endless just there!
I just saw the "Creeping Terror" for the first time on MST3K yesterday and I can honestly say that it is one of the funniest MST3K epsiodes I have gotten to watch especially the part with an old obese man and his grandson Billy, Mike impersonating the obese man: "Can you get me a porter house while your up!" LOL.
My all-time favorite is probably Pod People (Trumpy!), followed by Manos, Jack Frost, The Skydivers, and The Beast of Yucca Flats.
What was the movie they were watching in the episode where for several minutes, they kept making fun of the hero's name by making up other silly sounding names? It went something like, "Rock Chestwell", "Beef Hunkthrob". "Max Buttcrunch".
I would like to add "Mitchell!"
Also.....They did "Jack Frost????" like, Shannon Elizabeth killer snowman Jack Frost? I never knew that....that's like my favorite bad movie of all time! I must check it out.
A movie that has ZERO PLOT. THERE IS NOTHING to compare the DESOLATENESS of watching a movie about NOTHING. The Starfighters melted me down to the core of my being, and asked me why I watch bad movies, when I run the chance of seeing something like itself. I responded with the only words I could muster before finally collapsing in a heap of amorphic gloop "For the recognization of evil. To hell I cast theeeee..."
Scott*
The episode you're thinking of is called Space Mutiny. I personally adore both the movie and the Mst3k episode. It has become one of those cherished episodes where everything they say is right on the nose. Every comment, every remark are all perfectly in line with the silliness of the movie. Even the host segments are outstanding, something that is very precious on that show. Often the host segments, while still being funny, aren't as good as the actual movie they're watching. In Space Mutiny, segments like the 'hyerwarp escape pods' dogfight with quotes like "Eat crunchy, munchy, chocolately covered cocoa death, Crow." and my personal favorite "Enjoy a nice helping of Brown Betty, served with death, bu-but mostly eat death." Space Mutiny belongs in the annals of Mystery Science Theater 3000 best episodes list.
And here's what's even better. Ever since I found an original copy of the damn movie, I have wore down the tape from watching it so many times. Any time I feel down or sad, I go watch Space Mutiny and cheer myself up with a high pitched "Whoo!!" or a flipping acrobatic railing kill. Watching that movie is like taking two pills of Prozac followed by eating a pound of candy and then listening to super fast techno music for an hour. There's nothing quite like it, let me tell you.
-Scott*
I have had the pleasure of finding several tapes of this while on bad movie hunts. They make exceptional gifts for some friends. The whole thing is supposedly set inside of a spaceship, but they are obviously inside a factory (you can even see the factory-style windows in the background). There is the magically resurrected control room woman, death by cane, the awful dance club scene, and more stock footage from "Battlestar Galactica" than you can shake two sticks at.
A friend and I bothed noticed not only the resurected control woman back at her station, but also a nerdy extra who got thrown over a railing present at the dance seen. Space babes and stuff from spencers gifts, the movie has it all.
---ooo-'U'-ooo---Kilroy was here.
Ah, my favorite bad movie and an episode that's comming out on dvd. So slow, yet the actresses feel compelled to stick their heads in its mouth. A humble observation: Me thinks the director was planning to feed the woman in the gold lame pants to the carpet monster but either A) wussed out or B) kept the footage for himself. It raises the questiong, "Do rugs from outer space have dietry preferences?"
One of the worst (and funniest) movies I've ever seen, on or off MST3K.
----ooo-'U'-ooo-----Kilroy was here.
That would be something, but the Jack Frost they did was an absolutely insane Russo-Finnish children's movie featuring a guy with a bear's head, characters named Father Mushroom and Hunchback Fairy, a living pig sled, and more.
In fact, add all the Russo-Finnish children's movies they did to my list. At their best, those things matched Drunken Wu-Tang in terms of giddy insanity, and gave Joel, Mike, and the Bots even more to work with than the old educational shorts.
If anyone ever has the chance to see the un-Mstied version of this movie, and saw the Mst3k episode first, this is something I believe would clear up some issues regarding the Balarians (Valarians?) and their seemingly random insertion into the movie from the Mst3k episode. **(Spoilers warning)This is the point where I must warn those who have seen the episode, and think it's a piece of crap, and that the Balarians had no point whatsoever. You have thusly been warned.**
Believe it or not, watching the original movie was more fun than watching the episode, and it made much more sense. One thing I've noticed a lot of people making comments about are the Spencer's Gifts glo-balls and the dancing space women. While I agree that I wouldn't normally expect to find orphans of space to be wearing what they did, but hey, give the movie a break. Some scenes that were cut from the Mst3k version of the movie were vital regarding the significance of the Balarians aboard the Southern Sun. From what I interpreted, the Balarians were an all-powerful group of beings who had control of fate over whomever they wanted. The fate usually was that of a death, and their 'Spencer glo-balls' were their means of executing people's fate. One scene that was cut from the Mst3k version was, as Kalgan was about to be hit by the "speeding" floor polisher, they showed a finger of one of the Balarians slowly getting closer to one of the glo-balls. An instant before Kalgan is hit by the "speeding" floor polisher, the Balarian's finger comes in contact of the globe (complete with the line of plasma going up to the finger), and Kalgan is then hit, resulting in a massive explosion from the tremendous amount of gas the little floor polisher was obviously tanking around the space ship. Anyways, what the movie tried to have regarding a subplot was edited out for time by Mst3k. The omnipotence of the Balarian race was shown (weakly) when the "high priestess" came to the Captain of the ship and "showed" (thought very loudly to) him what to do, and who was responsible for the sabotage on the ship.
**(end spoilers)** I hope if you read this, that it makes sense. It definitely shows the problems involved when editing a movie for time must be done. Enjoy.
-Scottie*
That would be "Space Mutiny".
Ranking quite high on my list of MST3K favorites, too.
And of corse, two words: Railing kills!
Oh...God i miss that show.......
Ah,well...there's always "Roll yer own". BTW, i've done my 16th home made misty. "Phantom from space." Am i a masochist or what? "Creature from the haunted sea" was less painfull!....kinda....sorta.....
Their's this special stuff one can edit out without detracting from the plot or sub-plots of the movie, It's called "Filler". Of coarse, some movies have it in great quantities (see: my personal favorite), and some movies don't. The worst cases for this aren't MST3K, but when a movies is broadcast on a channel with commercials. Their's also cases where vital bit are diced out of the movie and filler is left in before the movie is releases (see: "Dungeons & Dragons"). All rather confusing really.
----ooo-'U'-ooo----Kilroy was here.
The worst, most godawful movie MST3K's shown hands down is "The Castle of Fu Manchu." You don't know atrocious until you've seen this picture.
>The episode you're thinking of is called Space Mutiny. I
Thanks for IDing it.
(BTW, I'm the one who's been posting under the name John, but tonight it tells me that another user registered that name)
I'll definitely have to check that movie out then, sounds like something killer. Some of the episodes where they show sci-fi movies are the best!