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I'm still a young man, coming up on 29. I'm more than happy with my life. I have a fiancee who (for some reason) loves me, a career that I love, and stability after years of moving around. But, sometimes I wonder if I could go back to about age 12 and do it over, what would I do? Knowing what I know now, would I apply myself more in school, try to be kinder to people, never smoke my first cigarette, try harder with that special girl. Or, would I just do the same things again because, honestly, it was pretty damned fun.

Do any of you ever think about this kind of thing? Am I just completely off my chum? What would you do? Would you go back? Would you take back all the knowledge you have now or would you want to experience it all over, fresh? Is this the most maudlin friggin' post in the world? Just curious....and possibly tipsy.

I suspect i always will. It's sort of ironic, I spent my whole childhood wishing I was an adult so I could do stuff I wasn't allowed to as a kid.

Now, at 29, I've spent nearly my entire adult life wishing I was a child so that I could do all the stuff that I can't as an adult, and lose some of these responsibilities. Life is a funny thing, no matter where we are we're never happy with it.

Hear, hear.

Brother R

***sigh***
I don't wish to be a kid again--too much pain and discomfort, reconstructive surgeries to fix a cleft lip and palate, teasing and taunting by other children--but what I wouldn't give to go back about 10 years.  To avoid certain pitfalls, other missteps and mistakes--ah well.

I wish I could be a kid again.  Some days I do wish I could have avoided all the mistakes I made and change so many things.  I was so painfully shy and quiet back in school.  Thank god I'm not like that anymore.  I was teased and called shorty which did kindof hurt my feelings but now I can joke along and it doesn't bother me.   If I could be 14 again and know what I know now things could have been totally different.  I wouldn't have done stupid things.  I wouldn't have married and divorced.  I wouldn't have spent 12 years of my life with an idiot that wanted to do nothing but argue and push my buttons and tell me lies when he was really going out to see his girlfriends.   He remarried this past November.  He decided he wanted someone 11 years younger than he is, that doesn't bother me so much as when I think about the age of our kids( soon to be 12 and 13) That only makes her about 7 and 8 years older than them.  I guess they can dress Barbies together:)  I'm sorry I'm rambling. Everytime I think about it.  Just irritates me.   I will get off my soapbox now

There are 2 periods in my life that I would love to re-live:

* My childhood, from about age 6 to about age 12 - This covers the span of about 1970 - 1976.  During these years, I discovered drive-in theaters, comic books, Doc Savage pulp novels, and Aurora monster models.  Life was sweet.

* My "partying" years, from about age 25 to about age 30 - I did more partying and had more late-night fun when I was 25 to 30 years old than I ever had before (or have had since).  Great years, great friends.  Too bad they're behind me now.

True Burgo....

But like Lester Burnham so accurately stated in American Beauty....
"It's never too late to get it back."

Isn't it funny that during the best years of our lives, we never really realize it's the best years?

Hindsight = 20/20

Assuming I know EVERYTHING I know today, I wouldn't push myself in school.  In fact, I'd throw a few questions now and then to make sure I didn't get accelerated.  I would be kinder to my brother and sisters (though we have good relationships now, we didn't always); I would avoid one particular romantic entanglement altogether; I'd let my dad know more how much I appreciate the work he did to support us (he worked his ass off and we never acted very grateful - which I think added to his stress); I'd go to the same college and make the same friends, but I'd take different classes probably; I'd also jump straight into the career I'm in instead of yutzing around at something else for 5 years.  And on that summer day in 1985, I'd step out into that same interesction again and get hit by that same car...  

...only this time I'd use the settlement money to buy Microsoft.  :)

Oh yeah, and I'd remind myself every single day to be in a certain place at a certain time on a certain day to make sure I met my wife again.

You got hit by a car dude?

What exactly happened?

I'd just love to go back to college again so I could major in something marketable.  I'd be doing pretty good right now instead of being 31 years old and having to go back to school so I can get a decent job.   Luckily, I did manage to save a little bit for retirement in my 20s but it's still pretty sad to realize that careerwise I've done about 10-15 years of nothing.  If things go right, by age 35 or so I'll be in the position I should have been at age 25.

Drunk lady hit me on my way home from school.  Broken leg (made the mistake of looking down to see my bone sticking out - made me puke), concussion, dislocated shoulder, broken wrist.  Nothing permanant, but I did get 40K in an out of court settlement - we didn't go to court for more because witnesses said I was crossing against the light (frankly, I don't remember actually getting hit).  The lady was pretty rich, and had been drinking, so they offered the settlement rather than taking their chances.  I don't know if she got in serious trouble for DWI.  I think that was back before the punishments got really harsh, at least in NJ.  Anyway, the money was well invested and put me through school.

I would probably not change anything too much, especially after seeing the butterfly effect this weekend. some things are better left alone.

But if I had the choice, I'd have a better relationship with my father during my teenage years; and I would never have smoked pot. I DEFINITELY would change the outcome of a schoolyard incident when I was about 9 years old - Me and a few friends invented a game where 3 people sat on the jungle gym and whoever didn't catch the ball had to get off and throw the ball at the gym sitters. Amazing how big 3-4 feet off the ground looks when you're a kid.

As I threw the ball, I realized my friend Henry wasn't looking. I screamed but it was too late. The ball hit him full on in the face, and he fell backwards off the gym and had to be taken to the hospital on a backboard. While he was not permanently injured, this scarred me for life. I write here feeling like it just happened yesterday.