Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Andrew on July 10, 2006, 08:03:35 PM



Title: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Andrew on July 10, 2006, 08:03:35 PM
This has come up before, but there are a number of movies just screaming to be remade with an all midget cast:

Top Gun
Rocky
The Terminator
Dawn of the Dead
Jaws
Saving Private Ryan
Singin' in the Rain
Kill Bill


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Mr_Vindictive on July 10, 2006, 08:51:21 PM
Good topic Andrew.

Here is what I'd love to see with midgets:

Hero
Hard Boiled
Terms Of Endearment
The Matrix
The Dark Crystal


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: ulthar on July 10, 2006, 09:59:06 PM
TOP GUN?

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN?

Ooooh, man, I cannot stop sn****ring....what a mental image....


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Dr. Whom on July 11, 2006, 01:45:22 AM
Well, Tom Cruise isn't too tall to begin with. Perhaps he could star in the remake as well?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: dean on July 11, 2006, 04:38:44 AM
How beautifully wrong.

Watching Beyond Thunderdome the other night and seeing the antics of Master Blaster on the big screen actually got me thinking of what happened to midgets in movies.  And then a trailer for Little Man came on tv and I got kind of worried...

Anyways, some movies that could well do with a midget cast:

Any Godzilla film.
Goodfellas.  Or maybe really any hardcore gangster film
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas [just to add to the insanity even further]
Austin Powers 2 [and have the only tall cast member to play Mini-me]


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: The Burgomaster on July 11, 2006, 06:01:07 AM
Hmmm . . . how about these:

* JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
* SHOWGIRLS
* BONNIE AND CLYDE
* ENTER THE DRAGON
* STAR WARS
* X-MEN
* FIDDLER ON THE ROOF
* THE GODFATHER
* GIGLI


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: odinn7 on July 11, 2006, 07:19:48 AM
Batman Begins
Charlies Angels
Nosferatu (how creepy would that be!)
Dead Alive

...and...dare I say it?  Road Warrior

Oh hell...I will be even more politically incorrect:

How about Cujo but they can use a poodle or some other small dog?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: AndyC on July 11, 2006, 07:48:51 AM
Oooo, midgets in gangster films. Add the Last Man Standing to the list.

For that matter, an all-midget Fistfull of Dollars would be pretty good too.

If we're talking war movies, how about The Great Escape? Or maybe Kelly's Heroes. Oooo, an all-midget Dirty Dozen!

Come to think of it, are there any more well-known midget actors? I mean, you used to have Billy Barty, Warwick Davis (I guess he's still around), Herve Villechaize, David Rappaport and some others who pretty much appeared anywhere you needed little people. Today, Verne Troyer is about the only one who is really famous.


Title: Titles for All-Midget Remakes
Post by: Inyarear on July 11, 2006, 10:00:55 AM
I'm liking all these suggestions, but I think any remake should have a title to match. In addition to the actual (abandoned) project to make Hang 'Em Not So High, for example, certain other Westerns ought to be renamed:

The Midget With No Name
Fist Full of Dimes
The Diminutive Seven
Heaven's Tiny Gate
The Midget Who Shot Little Imbalance
Forty Derringers
Not So High Noon
The Small T
The Short Train Robbery
True Bit

Obviously, this applies to other genres as well. I don't think a remake of Showgirls would even be legal, but if it were, the remake title should be obvious:

Lowgirls


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Ash on July 11, 2006, 10:33:50 AM
AndyC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

Come to think of it, are there any more well-known
> midget actors?


Yep,
How about Tony Cox?
(http://img381.imageshack.us/img381/5813/moviedatemoviehitch3zu.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

He could star in a thug/gangsta midget movie similar to Boyz n Da Hood.
They could do drive by's on tricycles and Big Wheels.

Or how about that midget guy who hung around with Kramer in Seinfeld?
What was his real name?

Wiki page: People with Dwarfism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:People_with_dwarfism)


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 11, 2006, 11:37:22 AM
I,m only 5'2", so this thread kinda hits a little too close to home for me.I enjoyed Terror of Tiny Town,though. I'm not too small-everyone else is too big!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: The Burgomaster on July 11, 2006, 12:22:16 PM
Inyarear:

Nice list!  How about these?

* MY NAME IS LOW-BODY
* RIO LOW-BO
* LITTLE JAKE
* THE SHORTIST
* TRUE SHORT
* MY DARLING CLEMEN-TINY
* THE SHORT RIDERS


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Mofo Rising on July 11, 2006, 12:23:29 PM
I'd like to see a remake of THIRTEEN DAYS, the retelling of the Cuban Missile Crisis, with an all midget/dwarf cast.  That would be fascinating.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: The Burgomaster on July 11, 2006, 01:26:52 PM
How about a remake of THE AIR UP THERE with an all-midget cast?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Ed, Ego and Superego on July 11, 2006, 01:30:54 PM
"Oooo, midgets in gangster films"- AndyC

When I was a wee lad, there was a movie called Buggsy Malone wheere kids played all the parts.  Not midgets, but close.

I persoanlly would like Conan with an all midget cast

-Ed


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Andrew on July 11, 2006, 02:53:16 PM
"Showgirls!"  Man, that is almost genius, I actually started laughing here.  Glad that I was not drinking anything.  That and "The Matrix" (as suggested in another post) are definitely joining the list.  

More that jumped to mind:

The Bridge on the River Kwai
Highlander
Chariots of Fire
Casablanca
Army of Darkness
Forrest Gump
Scream (just imagine Drew Barrymore's character reaching up to get the phone off the counter)
Excalibur
Remember the Titans


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: AndyC on July 11, 2006, 03:13:45 PM
I remember Bugsy Malone. Scott Baio in an all-kids musical about gangsters with machine guns that shoot whipped cream. One of a kind.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 11, 2006, 04:08:35 PM
Bugsy Malone had Jodie Foster in it as well.

Silence of the Lambs
Any kung fu movie, especially one with extended wire fighting scenes


One I've always wanted to see was Somewhere Under the Rainbow, a pseudo documentary about the filming of the Wizard of Oz and the hotel that all the midgets were staying in.  They supposedly destroyed the place. And the director had a hard time keeping the midgets from making out with each other in the scenery, since some of them had never seen another midget in their lives....


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Inyarear on July 11, 2006, 05:59:03 PM
Ed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I personally would like Conan with an all midget
> cast

Low-man the Barbarian

And let's not forget Lowbot Monster, starring a little guy in a chimpanzee suit with a fish bowl on his head.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: LilCerberus on July 12, 2006, 02:03:25 AM
Shadowphile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> One I've always wanted to see was Somewhere Under
> the Rainbow, a pseudo documentary about the
> filming of the Wizard of Oz and the hotel that all
> the midgets were staying in.  They supposedly
> destroyed the place. And the director had a hard
> time keeping the midgets from making out with each
> other in the scenery, since some of them had never
> seen another midget in their lives....


Under the Rainbow (1981) is a complete work of fiction, based very loosely on a series of evolved rumors that were originally started by low brow jokes.
The sad part is, even thoungh they had one hundred-fifty of them, this movie isn't really about the midgets, but rather about a series of mishaps involving an assassin, a Nazi spy and a government agent that happens to take place in a hotel with 150 midgets in the background.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 12, 2006, 03:46:54 AM
Lowbocop

Low Rider

Hey, that's what we need.  A midget biker flick....


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: odinn7 on July 12, 2006, 07:26:40 AM
Planet of the Apes

The Shining

The Hills Have Eyes

King Kong

Blade


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Fearless Freep on July 12, 2006, 08:55:05 AM
Two words

"Ankle Biters"


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Derf on July 12, 2006, 09:41:30 AM
odinn7 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Planet of the Apes
>
> The Shining
>
> The Hills Have Eyes
>
> King Kong
>
> Blade

King Kong could even use a regular-sized gorilla. Genius!

If you're going to redo Showgirls, you might as well throw in Boogie Nights as well.

And how about

Gone With the Wind

Citizen Kane

Hamlet


Who knows? Maybe midgets could even make The Sound of Music watchable for me.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: AndyC on July 12, 2006, 09:45:06 AM
Hmmm, Blade..... How about Sling Blade?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 12, 2006, 11:41:59 AM
Planet of the Apes would be cool,because they could use chimps(like in the little mini-all-chimp-spoofs they used to have on TNT) alongside the midgets! Talking chimps AND midgets!!!!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: LilCerberus on July 12, 2006, 02:07:28 PM
Personally, I've never really been that much of a zombie flick fan, but somehow I can't help thinking that Night of the Living Dead... No, wait a minute. That's already been done.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: daveblackeye15 on July 12, 2006, 04:21:33 PM
Spider-Man 2.

The Exorcist.

Die Hard.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 13, 2006, 03:14:22 PM
Any of these films could be entered into competition as 'shorts'


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: loyal1 on July 13, 2006, 09:59:32 PM
I know it's weird but this post is hard for me to answer.  I have some kind of strange fear over midgets.  My worst nightmare would be in an enclosed room with no way out full of balloons, clowns, and midgets.  Wonder why...maybe I was a circus freak in a past life?

Maybe for me, an all midget cast of the Halloween would be well suited!  A midget Michael Myers just gives me the heebeegeebees thinking about it.  

Leila


Title: Re: Titles for All-Midget Remakes
Post by: loyal1 on July 13, 2006, 10:02:18 PM
lol..Not so High Noon!  True Bit!  Great ones.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: AndyC on July 16, 2006, 06:47:19 AM
A midget Michael Myers! That's great. A midget Jason would be even better. Or maybe an all-midget Freddy Vs. Jason.

Fear of midgets? I hadn't thought of that, but I guess people can be afraid of anything. I suppose it's not uncommon to be uneasy around people with some noticeable physical condition -- dwarfism, wheelchair, missing limb, etc. Reminds me of the time I went to photograph an assembly at one of the local public schools. An all-midget basketball team came to entertain the kids and teach them that it's cool to be different. They did this by performing all the sort of shenanigans people like to see midgets doing, so it was kind of a mixed message. Fun though.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 16, 2006, 11:27:11 AM
Midgets can be scary. Look at Angelo Rossitta. Did you ever see him in Dracula vs. Frankenstien? He was scarier than the monsters!A lotta old horror movies had evil midget sidekicks.Look at that guy in Blood sucking Freaks! Now thats one evil little b*sterd! He was the selling point in the movie for me.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: loyal1 on July 16, 2006, 01:07:46 PM
I have no problem with missing limbs, wheelchairs, or even deformities.  Hell I had no problem with Sloth on The Goonies..lol.  

As for the Freak show performed at your school...oh the irony.  But it would not have been fun for me, that I can tell you.  :)


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Inyarear on July 19, 2006, 12:44:34 PM
Shadowphile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Low Rider
>
> Hey, that's what we need.  A midget biker flick....

Midget bikers? Yeah, I could see that. Really, it works even better than midget cowboys, since bikes are cheaper than horses.

I don't see why a film starring only midgets has to be a remake of anything, though. Why not make an all-midget original, as The Terror of Tiny Town was? Sure, you can remake Mad Max with an all-midget cast, but why not just write a generic all-midget post-apocalyptic piece? That midgets would be the only ones to survive the apocalypse would make their ubiquitous presence on the screen all the more credible, really.

It's worth remembering that The Terror of Tiny Town was a follow-up to the early blaxploitation Western Harlem on the Range, starring an all-black cast. If you don't mind taking a little flack from the P.C. patrol, why not try remaking an entire film that was originally done with an all-white cast (not too difficult to find) with an all-black cast? Pick a much-beloved classic, hire black people to play every one of the characters, and then play it straight and have them follow the script for the original religiously. Then release the film to theaters under the same title as the original with all the same kind of promotional material, and watch white reviewers scratch their heads in bewilderment as black audiences crack up laughing for no apparent good reason.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 19, 2006, 03:25:47 PM
Inyarear, they did do an all black remake of a classic.  It's called 'Guess Who?' and it's a remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic 'Guess Who's coming to Dinner?'. Instead of a white girl bringing home a black man, a black girl brought home a white man.  As expected, it bombed.

And when did the term 'black comedy' change to the point that it meant a comedy with a black cast?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Inyarear on July 19, 2006, 07:38:55 PM
Shadowphile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Inyarear, they did do an all black remake of a
> classic.  It's called 'Guess Who?' and it's a
> remake of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine
> Hepburn/Sidney Poitier classic 'Guess Who's coming
> to Dinner?'. Instead of a white girl bringing home
> a black man, a black girl brought home a white
> man.  As expected, it bombed.
>
> And when did the term 'black comedy' change to the
> point that it meant a comedy with a black cast?

That's not all-black, though; the gag doesn't work if it's actually a tale of interracial controversy with the races switched. In fact, if there's anything about race at all in the story, the gag doesn't work. The kind of comedy I have in mind is the comedy of never mentioning the elephant in the corner, in this case "Why are we all acting just like white people when we're black people?" Blackness being a culture and not just a skin-color, it would seem pretty weird to black audiences to see a bunch of black people acting white.

The trick is to get a good movie that was so white-breadish in its style that it looks really weird when black people play it straight. Imagine an all-black version of The Graduate, for instance, or the all-black E.T.: The Extraterrestrial. American Graffiti would be a really fun one to do that way too. Again, have no "updating" of the music or cultural adjustment of any kind to make it fit the black culture; just use the original script and story and settings and everything. Musicals might be especially funny done that way: no rap music, no jazz, nothing the least bit black-sounding, just black guys singing amazingly white stuff. The viewers would all crack up laughing.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 20, 2006, 10:56:28 AM
An all black 'The Sound of Music'.  Doesn't that just paint a picture in your head....


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on July 20, 2006, 03:35:55 PM
"Bugsy Malone" is unique. It is, as far as I know, one of only three films to have an all-child cast without any adults at all, appearing in it. And it is the only one in English. The other two films are the Hungarian "Angyali udvozlet" from 1984 and the Filipino "kuvwntong bahay-bahayan" from 1953.

"Bugsy Malone" was also turned into a theatrical musical, so it could be played on the stage.
I wonder if they kept in the pie fight that ends the film. Messy?!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Inyarear on July 21, 2006, 10:30:42 PM
I thought of that! The only problem with an all-black "Sounds of Music" would be that black Nazis would be so over-the-top that it might reduce the comedy of it all to utter silliness. "My Fair Lady" and "Guys and Dolls" would be fair game, though. So would anything else that doesn't explicitly have anything to do with race.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Rombles on July 22, 2006, 09:19:35 AM
How about an all-black (or all midget) Yentyl?


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 24, 2006, 11:20:43 PM
An all black midget Fiddler on the Roof.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 25, 2006, 06:16:20 AM
I'd like to see an all chimpanzee remake Pulp Fiction! Now THAT would be funny!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: LilCerberus on July 25, 2006, 10:46:30 PM
Ever since I saw that cop in Q working undercover as a mime, I've always had this idea for a moie called MimeCop.

It would be about your typical garden variety lone wolf/loose cannon detective who partnered with a mime, who always has to play charades, even while using the phone.

To make the cop's world even more bizarre, he & the mime are the only two guys on the force who aren't full time professional Elvis impersonators.

Even the captain, who also happens to be a vampire, is an Elvis impersonator.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 26, 2006, 06:03:45 AM
Rombles Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How about an all-black (or all midget) Yentyl?
Yeah! Why not?Then you could offend three groups of people all at once! Skinheads would love it!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 26, 2006, 06:10:21 PM
You'd need the cop to be a recovering former transvestite, who wrestles with his addiction when required to dress in drag for a sting...


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: RCMerchant on July 26, 2006, 09:53:53 PM
I GOT IT! An all black midget and chinese version of Billy the Kid vs.Dracula,as a porno!?With Dracula played by Oliver-the half human monkey!Now find a target audience fer thet 'un!


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: Shadowphile on July 30, 2006, 04:12:06 PM
That's an easy one to market.  Midget porn is big business.  Pun intended.


Title: Re: The All Midget Remake
Post by: loyal1 on August 05, 2006, 07:59:39 PM
Oh but sometimes utter silliness is very good...like Mel Brooks films and Airplane and Naked Gun.  we can't forget Monty Python either.  Utter, wonderful downright funny silliness :)