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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: WyreWizard on August 10, 2006, 11:47:00 PM



Title: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: WyreWizard on August 10, 2006, 11:47:00 PM
I never in my 35 years of life ever thought that the movie industry would sink to such a low.  I've often wondered who was funding these terrible films.  Now I wonder what the heck Samuel L. Jackson was thinking even starring in that film.  Yes, you know what I'm talking about, "Snakes on a plane."  Now there's a very fine line between art and pure trash and this movie crosses that line by hundreds of miles.

I won't get into the implausibilities of the film since I haven't seen it yet and most likely never will.  But I must ask this:  What real-life criminal would think of putting hundreds of venomous snakes on a passenger jet to kill a witness?  Normally, most poisonous snakes shy away from humans.  The only way they attack humans is when humans violate their territory.  The most aggressive snake is the Taipan.  That snake will strike a person repeatedly in rapid succession.  They are found in Austrailia.
And for that matter, how did they get hundreds of poisonous snakes on that plane?  You'd think that would be incredibly hard in a post-911 world.

If I were the writers of this film, I'd scrap the snakes and exchange them for a time bomb.  If any of you are intrigued by the idea of this film, God help us all.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Texdar on August 11, 2006, 01:00:26 AM
I find it funny when people criticize a movie before they see it.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Foywonder on August 11, 2006, 01:24:28 AM
I think it's even funnier what he's attacking the movie for and that he's doing it on a bad film message board.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Mr_Vindictive on August 11, 2006, 05:44:33 AM
I'm with both Foy and Texdar.  I'd be surprised if most of us on this board WEREN'T intrigued by the plot and the film.

And a time bomb?  That's only been done how many times?  And isn't that also implausable in this post 9-11 world, as you put it?


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on August 11, 2006, 06:59:44 AM
WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>  If any of you are intrigued by the idea of this film, God
> help us all.

I might be coming off as a wiseass but do you understand that this is a B-movie board? We are intrigued by dead people coming back to life to eat brains, Gingerbread cookies killing people, Dolls killing people, killer fish like a goldfish the most ferocious of all fish, mutated conjoined twins killing people and a future where even though we are in dire need of gas were driving V-8 engined car suped up know less.

Snakes on a Plane......Crap I wish I thought of it......how about ZOMBIES ON A PLANE.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Yaddo 42 on August 11, 2006, 07:03:37 AM
TIme bombs implausible these days? Considering the new restictions on liquids in carry on bags after the arrests in the London plane bombing plot, you can't entirely rule them out in real life so you can't rule them out in entertainment. Played out concept maybe? But played out concepts aren't illegal.

As for "Snakes on a Plane": it's a made to order "popcorn movie" (they even did reshoots to add footage built around online fan interest from the movie's internet hype/marketing campaign) not a docudrama like "United 93". If you're going to take the film or its premise seriously, you're missing the point. I admit I'm a little sick of the internet hype, the ads, the various marketing schemes, and the unavoidable Samuel L. Jackson (but I was a little sick of seeing and hearing him everywhere long before this film appeared) but I'll probably still catch it at the second run cheapo theater because it seems like a perfect low expectations, fun for fun's sake, stupid enjoyable genre movie. The movie sounds perfect for this website and a those of us who turn up here. Lump it in with other high concept, higly improbable airplane action/disaster/genre movies. Think "Executive Decision", The "Turbulence" films, the whole "Airport" series from the 70s, "The Horror at 37,000 Feet", or tons of others that people here could name.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Yaddo 42 on August 11, 2006, 07:17:45 AM
Oh almost forgot, Time magazine had some article on Jackson and SOAP I glanced at (adding to my own overkill) the other day. They had a headline about Jackson saying that he makes the kind of movies he wants to see. So THAT explains "Formula 51", "Amos & Andrew", "The Man", "Basic", "Sphere", that stupid "Shaft" remake, etc.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Derf on August 11, 2006, 08:00:48 AM
And besides, there is an entire genre built around hot, lesbian women in prison who take many, many showers and wear make-up and shave their legs and armpits regularly. As long as movies like this exist, Snakes on a Plane CANNOT be the worst (okay, most implausible) movie idea ever.

Also, I personally own a movie, The Godmonster of Indian Flats, which uses an eight-foot-tall mutant sheep as its title character. This is a far worse idea than snakes on a plane could ever be.

I could go on with example after example, but I think I'll stop.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: akiratubo on August 11, 2006, 08:09:28 AM
Repeat to yourself: "It's only a movie."


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: ulthar on August 11, 2006, 09:12:43 AM
I think we have a front-runner in the "#1 BadMovies.org Troll" contest.  (aimed at Wyred, not Akiratubo)

We saw a SoaP ad on TV last night and my wife said "what?"  I told her it's just a popcorn flick and one that does not take itself too seriously.  She just laughed and shook her head.

We seem to have come to a point where just "fun" nonsense movies are rare enough that when one comes out, that alone is newsworthy.  The 50's and then the 80's were both good decades for this kind of flick; I think we are overdue.

I say take the realism out of movies.  I see reality all the time (the news, life around me, etc).  I'm sick of ham-handed films whose directors think they will "change the world" or try to "make me think."  Or that try to educate me on some topic.  I want fun, mindless entertainment much of the time, and SoaP fits that bill.

(That said, I do still like my serious sci-fi).


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: trekgeezer on August 11, 2006, 09:53:18 AM
Read this interview (http://www.darkhorizons.com/news06/jackson.php). Jackson is absolutely unapologetic about this movie. I agree with him people have read about and seen the trailers, so they know what they're getting when they go see the movie.

Looks like a hoot to me. Who the hell said movies had to be realistic? Most people go to movies to get a break from realism.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: WyreWizard on August 11, 2006, 11:12:45 AM
rich andrini Wrote:

> Snakes on a Plane......Crap I wish I thought of
> it......how about ZOMBIES ON A PLANE.


Why not go ahead, write that script and start knocking down the doors of hollywood investors for funding?  Zombies have happened.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: loyal1 on August 11, 2006, 11:17:14 AM
Are you kidding...I can't wait until this movie comes out.  I am looking forward to seeing it.


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: WyreWizard on August 11, 2006, 11:20:08 AM
trek_geezer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who the hell said movies
> had to be realistic? Most people go to movies to
> get a break from realism.


Well who the hell said movies had break the rules of reality to a degree of extremity?  I don't go to movies to get a break from realism (I use video games for that) I go to movies to see a good story.

Its such a shame to see a great veteran actor like Samuel L. Jackson sink to this all-time low.


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: ulthar on August 11, 2006, 11:22:40 AM
WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Well who the hell said movies had break the rules
> of reality to a degree of extremity?

No one.  But they CAN break all the rules they want.  It's called artistic license.

If you don't want to go see SoaP, don't go see it.  You know, you DO have that control.  And I'm sure Samuel L. Jackson will be broken up by your absence.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: trekgeezer on August 11, 2006, 11:42:45 AM
I'm still puzzled by Wyre Wizard's rants about movies on this board. When are you going to realize that you're talking to a group of people who revel in the absurd?


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: Just Plain Horse on August 11, 2006, 01:26:31 PM
Well, time to add my two cents... like throwing a cigarette into a brushfire...

I can agree with the majority for once and say, it isn't the worst OR most implausible movie ever... the only thing I don't get is why this movie is getting so much publicity. People can't go on enough about... well, I'm not going to add to that roaring snowball of doom... my only complaint is why the hell is everybody acting like it's the best movie in decades? Beyond that, BFD... Oh, and Godmonster or The Giant Spider Invasion could tie each other for worst movie ever. The whole Worst (something) Ever is overrated. Breathe deep, relax, and let it go...


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Fearless Freep on August 11, 2006, 03:14:06 PM
It's a B- Movie plot with a cast and  production value.  Sounds great to me!


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Fearless Freep on August 11, 2006, 04:20:28 PM

I never in my 35 years of life ever thought that the movie industry would sink to such a low.


Obviously has never heard the line "And we can get Albert Pyun to direct!"


Title: ...
Post by: Ash on August 12, 2006, 05:03:48 AM
...


Title: Re: ...
Post by: ulthar on August 12, 2006, 08:59:18 AM
Ash, are you speechless?


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: WyreWizard on August 12, 2006, 11:16:13 AM
ulthar Wrote:

> If you don't want to go see SoaP, don't go see it.
>  You know, you DO have that control.  And I'm sure
> Samuel L. Jackson will be broken up by your
> absence.


I won't go see it.  But that won't stop the dozens of trailers that come on the Discovery Channel and Science Channel.  I have no control over that.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: loyal1 on August 12, 2006, 11:24:57 AM
I have a question...you metioned in your 35 years of movie watching you would never think the movie industry would sink to such a low.  How many movies have you seen?  And out of the many many lows the industry has sunk to, I am very surprised you feel this one is the all time low.  

I thought the idea of Jack Frost was just really really bad that I wouldn't even see it and had no desire to.  A dad that comes back to life as a snowman for his son?  How the hell do you pitch that story..and further who is going "Yeah that sounds like a great holiday picture!"  But even I know that isn't the worst idea of all time.  There is a pelethura of s**te out there, bad scripts, and bad acting.

You really can't think of a worse movie or plot?


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Fearless Freep on August 12, 2006, 01:00:27 PM
I've seen about a dozen movies this year that *whish* they were as coherent and sensible as the plot for "SoaP"

"Versus" comes to mind...great action movie but good luck finding out why the heck it was all happening :)


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: ulthar on August 12, 2006, 01:27:48 PM
WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> I won't go see it.  But that won't stop the dozens
> of trailers that come on the Discovery Channel and
> Science Channel.  I have no control over that.

Sure you do.  Turn the TV OFF.  Or is your TV wired to be on all the AND you are strapped in a chair in front of it?  Perhaps you receive signals from your cable (or satellite) inside your head?


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: daveblackeye15 on August 12, 2006, 01:32:06 PM
I'm for Snakes on a Plane.

It's only looks SLIGHTLY different from a bunch of other things we've seen.

But we've all seen the same thing redone manys times.

And it's usually the ones that are done the best that we like.


Title: Re: Samuel Jackson says screw the critics
Post by: WyreWizard on August 12, 2006, 03:02:52 PM
ulthar Wrote:

> Sure you do.  Turn the TV OFF.  Or is your TV
> wired to be on all the AND you are strapped in a
> chair in front of it?  Perhaps you receive signals
> from your cable (or satellite) inside your head?


Oh turn the TV off, yeah and miss whatever documentary I'm watching?  I don't think so.  My only solution for this is either

A)  Shake my head in disgust and comment on how desperate filmmakers are for new stories?

B)  Head for the kitchen pour a glass of iced tea or make a sandwich or a salad bowl.


and ulthar, thanks for the debate.

::backs up an earthmover dump truck in ulthar's backyard and dumps more individually-wrapped twinkies than a single human can eat


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Shadowphile on August 12, 2006, 04:19:31 PM
The idea of snakes in a confined space has been done, in a 70s TV movie called Fer de Lance.  The difference was that it was snakes on a submarine.  Equally implausible but still amusing.

I'm going to (without have seen any trailers) predict that the pilot and co-pilot get bitten and die with the plane locked on auto-pilot headed out over the ocean and the snakes for some reason pick the cockpit to hole up in.  They are defeated through the use of CO2 fire extinguishers.

And I'd like to know if anyone else wants in on that huge pile of twinkies  that just got dumped on somebosy's lawn...


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: ulthar on August 12, 2006, 05:28:32 PM
Come and get 'em, Shadowphile, I don't eat twinkies.  Maybe we can have a B-Movie fest of ALL the implausible movies Wyred has mentioned in the last few months that contain plot points that should not, or cannot, happen.

It'll be fun.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Foywonder on August 12, 2006, 08:05:00 PM
WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> rich andrini Wrote:
>
> > Snakes on a Plane......Crap I wish I thought of
> > it......how about ZOMBIES ON A PLANE.
>
>
> Why not go ahead, write that script and start
> knocking down the doors of hollywood investors for
> funding?  Zombies have happened.


Someone already beat you to it. It's called PLANE DEAD. Currently in development.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Shadowphile on August 12, 2006, 08:26:28 PM
Bad Movie twinkie fest.  Now there is a venue.  Admission to the party comes at the price of a box of twinkies.  We'd all be so hyped up on sugar that even Heartbeeps would look good, for the 4.2 seconds our altered attention span would allow....


Title: Re: ...
Post by: Ash on August 12, 2006, 08:33:50 PM
ulthar Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Ash, are you speechless?

No...
I wrote something that wasn't particularly nice and then decided to chuck it.
It was a definition that should be in Wikipedia and describes Wyrewizard to a T.

It was actually quite lengthy...around 1500 words.

I saved it to a Notepad just in case I really need to bust it out later.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Ash on August 12, 2006, 08:44:05 PM
What?
No Ding Dongs or Ho-Ho's?

I haven't eaten a Twinkie in years..but I love them though.
Maybe I'll pick up a box the next time I go grocery shopping.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: WyreWizard on August 12, 2006, 09:15:12 PM
ASHTHECAT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What?
> No Ding Dongs or Ho-Ho's?
>
> I haven't eaten a Twinkie in years..but I love
> them though.
> Maybe I'll pick up a box the next time I go
> grocery shopping.

Those would get real messy in this hot weather.  But if you don't mind dirtying your hands with sticky melted chocolate then knock yourself out.

::rolls in on a forklift carrying a dozen crates with individually-wrapped Ding-Dongs and Ho-Hos and sets them down in front of ASHTHECAT's front door


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: loyal1 on August 12, 2006, 09:45:17 PM
Sign me up!  Can I bring Little Debbie snacks too?  Nutty bars, donut sticks...and oh...star crunchies!  Oh my beloved star crunchies...where have thou gone when I stopped smoking out of pipes 12 years ago??


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: dean on August 12, 2006, 11:43:21 PM
I think Shadowphile and ulthar are onto something!  I suggest something like a competition to find the most implausible, ridiculous movie out there, pick a top ten and then vote for 'Most ridiculous movie ever!'.  Whether it be a terrible movie or a fun movie, an A-Grade blockbuster to a C-Grade stinkfest, we're after the most ludicrous nutty plots in movie history.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Shadowphile on August 13, 2006, 03:42:03 AM
ATOR: The Fighting Eagle

No eagle, a series of completely disconnected events, a main character in love with his sister, going from Zero to Hero in a single afternoon (not even a full day)  a villian who wears more eye shadow than any of the females in the cast, characters who introduce themselves during soliloquies, amazons who fight for the right to breed, costumes that are from vastly differing eras and a pseudo Conan complete with fuzzy boots and leather shorts.

What more could you ask for?


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Amanda on August 14, 2006, 02:10:36 PM
Hey...I LIKED Basic.  *S*


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: Flangepart on August 15, 2006, 11:13:28 AM
ulthar Wrote:
...
>
> I say take the realism out of movies.  I see
> reality all the time (the news, life around me,
> etc).  I'm sick of ham-handed films whose
> directors think they will "change the world" or
> try to "make me think."  Or that try to educate me
> on some topic.  I want fun, mindless entertainment
> much of the time, and SoaP fits that bill.
>
> (That said, I do still like my serious sci-fi).


Exactly.
Thats why i watch Kaiju flicks. Fox news tells me whats going on in the world, then i try to get some rest for my overloaded brain with "Godzilla Vs. Mothra."
Enough serious, already!


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on August 17, 2006, 02:04:43 PM
I don't know, but I think we already have our winner. But, I don't mind "Ator: the Fighting Eagle," which I have seen, but remember nothing about it, except that I saw it, as much as I do some of the other movies made by Hollywood, which are highly regarded both by critics and audiences, and contain such a totally unrealistic scene, it makes me want to drive my head through the television screen, if I'm watching the movie on television, or into the seat in front of me, if I am watching the movie in the theater.


Title: Re: The absolute worst idea for a movie ever!
Post by: trekgeezer on August 17, 2006, 08:52:08 PM
You know, just watching the advertising they're doing on tv for SoaP I think this thing is going to break even or better in the first weekend.

I love seeing Sam Jackson getting bleeped on the tube when he's saying "I'm getting tired of these motherf@!$ing snakes on this motherf@!$ing plane!!" And if you read the interview I posted above, you gotta love what Jackson said about the use of gratuitous shots of naked breasts being attacked in B movies. (Come on guys, you know that's why you want to see this movie!)