Badmovies.org Forum

1.A demon escapes from hell and gets trapped in a small bottle of beer. He then turns himself into a  7000 foot monster composed entirely of beer and goes on a demonic human killing rampage!

2. A phsycotic mass murdering Trekkie goes on a killing spree targeting the stars of the various series!

3. A mass murderer kills people with  nail clippers!

4. The most evil sadistic lying demon ever to be coached by Satan comes out of hell and poses as a human who does award winning documentries that are 100 percent B.S. and have no truth to them at all and then he-----oh wait-sorry about that folks, Micheal Moore already does that.

nevermind.

2. A phsycotic mass murdering Trekkie goes on a killing spree targeting the stars of the various series!

That was a Futurama episode, I think...

Yeah, as the South Park episode definitively declared:  Whatever it is, it's already been done on The Simpsons --
But as that is so, who cares?!?!?
A mutant badger invades a girls' boarding school cafeteria & poses as the head cook.  He feeds on pheremones of sorrow.  He forges letters of breakup from various boyfriends to feed off the misery that ensues.  Some of the rejected boyfriends band together & track the badger down.  They release a mutant Dachshund to dispose of the beast, during a lunch hour in the cafeteria.  Nobody notices.
peter johnson/denny crane

A guy who has a sketch comedy show on public access cable gets abducted by North Korean spies. While being questioned at an abandoned warehouse, he is asked about a recent sketch he made. He tells them how he came up with the idea, but they don't believe him.

The NK spies are about to torture him, when a group of American spies raids the warehouse.

The guy is rescued, but not freed. Instead, he's held by authorities, & again questioned about the comedy sketch. It's eventually revealed that the running gag in the guy's sketch is identical to the name of a top secret military project.

I haven't quite got the rest figured out, but there'd be a twist at the end; In a tribute to Monty Python, it's revealed that the guy is really a Brittish spy.

The last scene would involve a group of Brittish men laughing as one of them tries to explain a mathmatic equasion.

An evil studio head decides to base all of his studio's productions on the long winded intros to AICN stories by Harry Knowles or mediocre J-Horror films. This angers the spirits of the late John Carradine, Ed Wood, and Al Adamson who all all rise up and begin to terrorize the sets of said films. Lots of nudity by out of shape actresses, bad special effects, dialogue worthy of a third grade play, incoherent edits, changes of film stock, and inclusion of stock footage and clips from other films follow. All looks lost until Paul Naschy turns up, turns into a werewolf and saves the day by fighting the ghosts for roughly one minute.

Starring: Paris Hilton, Dan Haggerty, Jan Michael Vincent, Jennifer Tilly, Casper Van Dien, C. Thomas Howell, Maria Ford, Yvonne DeCarlo, Joe Estevez, Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, Dick Miller, and some forgettable, interchangable Italians as ghost fodder. Directed by: Fred Olen Ray, Uwe Boll, and Jess Franco on alternating days. Produced by David Friedman.

Mary, a good girl with 50's values and dress is a very devout Christian.  She is disgusted by the sins of today's teenagers in her town and high school.  John, an outsider like Mary and has been smitten with Mary since Sunday school together as children.  

She has a vision from Mother Mary to rid of the teenage sinners.  But always gives them a chance to repent for their sins. With help from up above she feels nothing will harm her during her mission.  But the truth is...the only reason she does not get caught is because John cleans up the messes she leaves behind.

That's one of my screenplay ideas...lol.

A guy meets a Jesus freak,smokes pot ,eats a turkey,goes into a coniption fit, turns into a turkey headed monster, kills people and drinks they're blood, chops off a druggie's leg with a table saw, and,threw the power of prayer,is cured. The whole movie is narrated by a chain smoking guy with the same mindless philosophy of the narrator of The BEAST of YUCCA FLATS.Oh yeah...thats been done already. Dam.
HI! I'm BACK! (I can hear the groans of despair from my place in Michigan....)

Here's an idea for a short that I am tossing around that will be basically just an excuse to shoot some sailing footage as well as play around with some fx and editing software.  I don't claim that is has not borrowed elements from other films.  All shot on video for that jerkey, home movie "realism," and of course low budget.

Scientist discovers that a cure for [insert heinous disease(s)] can be made from a plant extract - but the plant grows in only one place: way upriver in a very, very remote location.  This location is surrounded by local folklore as being 'evil.'

Scientist fights with his colleagues about taking a trip there to harvest some of the plant, and ultimately decides to go alone.  It is a multi-day trip and during that time, his lonliness and other psychological frailties takes hold of his senses.

As he nears the location, we are not sure if he is sane or not; zombies rise out of the water to terrorize him, unspeakable evil surrounds him, and he finds himself in a fight not only for his life, but for his sanity.  Will he sacrifice the one, to save the other?

Interesting.  Sounds almost like a solo version of Anaconda 2

That does sound interesting, it sort of reminds me of "Serpent & the Rainbow"... which is incidentally the only thing Wes Craven's ever done that I liked.

D'Oh!  I missed that connection and The Serpent and the Rainbow is part of my movie collection.  Damned good film.

With you guys saying "sounds interesting," you are making actually want to do this!  

Oh the time, the time.

Zombie cows terrorise small town in Montana

A child's doll takes on a life of its and goes on a killer rampage.  TAKEN!!!

In the near future, a worldwide totalitarian state features a game show in which the contestants brutally rape people on stage in front of cheering crowds in a stadium. Then the victims are summarily convicted of "unchastity" by a state judge and executed in as sadistic and gory a way as possible. The contestants are awarded points for how utterly sickening the rape is depending on various gross-out factors such as the age, sex, markings, skin consistency and amount of body fat on the victim. They also get bonus points if their rapaciousness kills their victim before the state can do it.

Contestants arbitrarily choose their victims from among the cheering crowds of spectators in a kind of sick parody of The Price Is Right. The crowd's presence is state-enforced and a psychotropic drug that causes numbness to tender feelings and ultra-sensitivity to violent and angry feelings is liberally sprinkled on the crowd to keep people whipped into a frenzy. To keep the crowd from tearing itself apart in an orgy of violence, spectators are all chained to their seats. Even so, a few rare spectators manage to escape and go on violent drug-addled rampages before succumbing to blood loss from self-inflicted wounds. The point of this whole exercise is to keep the people docile and submissive to state control by utterly exhausting all their capacity for rebellious attitudes through the ultimate enforced catharsis of their violent impulses.

Contestants are chosen from prisons for violent sexual offenders, with state judges choosing them on the basis of subjective judgements that they are the very worst offenders of their kind. The contestants are, like the crowd, sprinkled with violence-enhancing and tenderness-suppressing drugs. The winner is (allegedly) pardoned of all crimes and declared a model citizen. The losers are all graphically raped and murdered on the stage the same way their victims are. (The "winner" of course, gets to do the raping.)

The game show ultimately falls apart through a fatal mistake on the totalitarian ruler's part: the safeguards on his box office seat fail due to the corrupt dealings and shoddy work of the contracter who built it, and he is whipped into a frenzy by the same drugs the crowd is getting, going berserk among the spectators. Although the dictator has hideous scars and burn tissue all over his body, wears an eye-patch, and is in all imaginable ways butt-ugly, one of the contestants (more or less the "winner" though no judges survive to judge the outcome) drags him up and brutally rapes him to death on the stage.

With the chain of command in chaos, the contestants and a few escaped audience members go on a massive orgy of sexual violence against the enforcers, overwhelming them. The judges and enforcers all meet the same fate as the dictator, as do any media staff who fail to flee in time. Only when the berserkers finish trashing the infrastructure and ruin the drug dispensing devices does their inescapable blood lust finally die down. Several of them go into shock and die from extreme adrenaline expenditure and blood loss nonetheless, as do many in the audience.

The "winner" meanwhile (formerly convicted of serial sadistic child molestation and murder) sees that one of his victims he thought dead is not completely so. Utterly sickened at his own X-rated carnage, he picks him up and carries him out of the (broken) gates of the stadium in search of a hospital, vanishing into relative obscurity after the victim dies in spite of all his efforts. Society collapses around him into a very strange kind of anarchy with no violence of any kind because everyone has been so thoroughly cowed into submission for so long.

Eventually, a voice-over at the end informs us, society rebuilds itself into something like a representative republic, but only after a lot of people perish from learned helplessness. The new government, learning from the mistakes of the old, bans violent game shows and murderous sports, but otherwise encourages all citizens to take up at least one moderately violent private activity such as hunting, boxing, wrestling, hockey, soccer, the demolition derby circuit, or bar brawling in order to "keep violent urges present at an optimal level to ensure the liberty of the people."

The name of this grisly movie is Deathsex Conflagration. It must necessarily be animated, as the acts involved would be illegal in any live-action film. The animator must be the sleaziest hentai company in Japan, whichever one that may be. Needless to say, the movie should be rated NC-17 for cruelty on a level that will shock all but the lowest of lowlifes among the Japanese.

That's my idea of the worst horror movie ever. Top that.

You have one very twisted mind.

'DON'T GO NEAR THE TREE':

An old oak tree in a local park eats anyone that walks too close to it, and grows their internal organs out of its branches instead of leaves.

starring Valerie Bertinelli.

This has already been covered in Poltergiest & Dead Heat, but how about a zombie flick in which the survivors manage to seal themselves safely in an undergroung bunker, only to find that whatever is reanimating all the dead folks is also causing all the meat in their fridge to come back from the dead.

With the help of government science run amok, a snake grows to huge proportions. Soon it begins to terrorize the population of a small midwestern town (the sequel would take place in a city or jungle) along with a group of quirky hunters that wish to end it's rampage. Eventually an FBI agent with a good heart crosses paths with an innocent but tough medical student and together they find a way to stop the snake's body count for good.

Genetically mutated killer grass spreading across the prairie!

I got one, a guy takes a dump at a toxic waste site and his excrement inexplicablily turns into a giant killing poop monster, that kills people by either suffocating them or crawling out of the toilet while they're on it and (well, you get the idea.)

One guy tries to shoot the monster only to have all the methane that surrounds the creature ingnite, killing him but leaving the monster unscathed.

In the end, the guy who took the dump managed to reason with the monster, telling that he's a part of him and winning it over with love.  

Film ends happily with the guy and monster living out in a travel far from civilization (we use the government shipping them huge stocks of food) which the guy eats and regular "contributes" to the monsters growth (I'll leave it up to your imagine as to how.)

(shudders)

Where do I come up with this s**t???  (No pun intended...)

BTM wins...

Remeber guys, just because a concept has been used, it doesn't mean you can't do another story in the same vein, just make it different enough to not get you saued or slandered by people who feel you're ripping off someone else.

Oh, and BTM, ever hear of a movie called "Monsturd"? You may be disappointed when you look this title up...

> Oh, and BTM, ever hear of a movie called
> "Monsturd"? You may be disappointed when you look
> this title up...

Whoa, no way! (Note, I resisted saying "You gotta be s**tting me!")

I mean, I was kind of thinking about that Poop Monster in Dogma but still, can't believe someone actually did a film with a similar theme...

I guess when it comes to movies, ALL the ideas are taken, not just the good ones...

You know, this sounds kind of like something Japan would make....

Ah yes, the Excremental.  Hell's cheap assassin. Made up of all the bodily waste expelled as people hung dying upon the crosses at Golgotha.

The idea was also used in the video game "Redneck Rampage."  One of the levels occurs in the sewer, and there are poop-flinging poop monsters, including the boss of that level, who is, to say the least, disgusting. Ah, it was a fun game, though...

I'm thinkin' a psychological drama fit for lifetime TV.

A psychotic man ties his wife to a chair and tortures her by forcing her to watch sad movies without friends or tissues.

Alex B may already know this, but the now-defunct comedy troupe Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre made a direct-to-video -- out of print -- called "Zontar:  Cow From Hell!"  that had exactly that plot.
Duck's Breath gave us Dr. Science and Randy of The Redwoods, among other culture heroes.
peter johnson/denny crane

Grandpa dies in his favorite rocking chair, and anybody who sits in it is catapaulted off the porch onto the freeway to their deaths.  The chair is exorcised by a passing minstrel-hippie-throwback-preacher-Kirby salesman and his half-wit psychic brother Dale, who are subsequently annihalated by the freed spirit of Grandpa in a horrifying scene of blood and sheep's wool.  Grandpa then possesses a bedpan at the local health clinic, and sucks the rectums out of unsuspecting GI patients.

Bubba Hotep featured a mummy who sucked the souls out of old people at a retirement/nursing home through their a***oles.  And is starred Bruce Campbell as Elvis....

The devil wears Prada, there is no devil and i did not find this movie scary

_______________
 "What do you me shes DIE a  BET ick"
                        -Doctor Phil

The devil wears Prada, there is no devil and i did not find this movie scary

_______________
 "What do you mean shes DIE a  BET ick"
                        -Doctor Phil

How about one of those "polliticaly correct movies for our time", which somehow misses the mark by a mile, leaving half the audience laughing & the other half scratching their heads?

I would call it "The Deeply Misunderstood, Emotionally Unbalanced Sharp-Object & Explosives Enthusiast".

The Devil Wears Prada is based on a real person.  As I heard the tale, the role was even softened somewhat rather than showing the woman as the grade A class 1 b***h that she really was.

I think you mean Zadar, and no I hadn't heard of it.

worst horror movie ever is    gummie head  seen it once a verry long time ago and i still get to laugh about how boring that movie is.... Although you could say it isnt really a horror movie, but hell  who reads these forums anyway?

I guess that's what the real title of this thread should be. If the idea were to come up with the sickest, cruelest, most irredeemably vicious film ever, I think my suggestion would win it by a lot. If it's the most mediocre, then the obvious thing to do is load it up with cliches that will put the audience to sleep with their banality. It's simple, really.

Just make it a zombie movie (because heaven knows, a thousand zombie movies was never enough) and pit the zombies against apparently autistic characters played by crummy functionally illiterate actors obviously reading from off-screen cue cards. Have them swear constantly and repeatedly, using only one swear word for all purposes. (The F-bomb tends to be especially well-suited to many different uses, so don't let them use that one.) Have them also make incredibly stupid mistakes on a regular basis to make the audience (A) wonder whether the characters are more brain-dead than the zombies, (B) wonder how long it will take their own brains to die while watching this film, and (C) wonder whether clinical brain-death would, in fact, be preferable to watching this film.

Be sure to use lots of lines that are supposed to sound clever, but in fact sound stupid. Hire incompetent directors, producers, and crew to make the film (or be an incompetent director/producer/crew member yourself). Shoot it straight to VHS and don't bother doing retakes on muffed scenes. Release the film to low budget art film houses along with a pretentious and jargon-filled description making this film out to be an ingenious work that's far too avant-garde and artistically brilliant to be understood by anyone so pathetically low on brain-power and proper appreciation of contextually progressive art as the (obvious) losers who've come out to see your film.

Then watch as those same losers, failing to grasp that they've just been insulted, give your instant cult classic an average rating of 7 stars on the Internet Movie Database.

I believe someone is already making a zombie flick with autistic people as the protagonists.

I haven't looked it up in a while, but it's called Special Dead: Sometiimes the Heros Ride the Short Bus.

lilcerberus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Special Dead: Sometiimes the Heros Ride the Short
> Bus.

ROFL

My word, Alex B, you are right!  It is indeed Zadar, and not Zontar, who's the Cow From Hell --
And since you've never heard of it, you must not be a Duck's Breath fan either -- How about Firesign, never heard of them either, I hope?
I've re-read our posts and . . . well, I still think nobody's actually beat out Night of the Lepus yet --
myself included, though I do still like my bit about the Dachshund -- Ever been bit by one of those nasty little dogs?  They're scary!  I mean it -- Did you see the tiny little fangs on it?  It . . . was burrowing and. . . it was . . . SCARY!! (Degenerate to Count Floyd . . . fade to black)
peter johnson/denny crane

Well Inyarear, you've obviously been giving this a lot of thought. I broadly agree, but zombies are too good for this. You really need one of these excruciatingly slow or even immobile monsters of the 50s. Say, the Tabanga of From Hell it Came. That way the characters should behave in incredibly silly ways to get eaten at all.

Vampire Aspen trees?

How about:

Mutant Sofas?  Humankind becomes afraid to sit.

A possessed food processor that comes to 'life'?  (Here I'm thinking of that lawnmower scene in "Devil Dog, Hound of Hell")?  Yuppies everywhere, who have forgotten that one CAN chop by hand with a knife, live in terror.

Dirt becomes poisonous to the touch?  Society decays as everyone becomes a total cleanliness-freak.

A family in peaceful suburb decides to become canibals?  It's a comedy, though.

Explorers in space find the "root" of all gravity?  They hold the universe hostage with the threat of turning it off and thus, ripping apart the very fabric of our existence.  Who can save us?  Children of course.

Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa and Hannibal meet in the afterlife and decide to write the most interesting, deep and factually accurate science fiction story of military conquest and the human condition?  They take the screenplay to 150 Hollywood producers can cannot secure backing for the project.  In a 90 degree turn that makes no sense, the plot dissolves into the heart warming story one of their decendants who has cancer.

You made a vampire out of a pomeranian?

In the newspaper today there was a piece about fire hazard of household appliances, with the shocking title: Danger of Tumble Dryers Underestimated.

So why not The Tumble Dryers of Death?

And Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre sang a song about how they HATE "Household Appliances"!!
*  *  *
The worst:
Well, do you recall how Count Floyd would do Monster Chiller Horror Theatre on SCTV?
The common theme was always that the promised "horror' film didn't deliver the scares --
SO, I think that that should be the colluding prerogative for THE WORST horror film --
 . . . The Night of The Lepus . . .
Cuddly bunnies are scary . . .
. . . um, no, they aren't . . .
This is IT!
peter johnson/denny crane