Information Exchange => Reader Comments => Topic started by: on November 03, 1998, 05:53:43 AM

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on November 03, 1998, 05:53:43 AM
Definitely a martial arts classic. Look out Jackie Chan, and Jet Lee here comes ... well two cripples. The fact that this movie contained gratuitous beatings of handicapped people in and of itself warrants some kind of award but the fact that the two "physically challenged" heroes later break out a can of whupp-ass and defeat the villians Voltron-style was almost two much for my poor spleen to take. Lesson I learned from this movie: Don't remove the limbs from your employees or it will come back to haunt you.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: SickBrent on December 28, 1998, 08:21:22 PM
Worthless...bloody worthless.. I saw this movie a few years back when a friend told me he had to get rid of a movie.. free I thought.. no.. a nuisance.. the movie was just apalling.  here you have these two crippled  bastards, one with a nub and a half worth of meat for arms and the other guy, who is just legless.  ok. let's see. no plot, no limbs, a good fantasy kung fu movie. no. that isn't the way it works. forget about it. don't let anyone con you into watching this. it will cripple your mind through mere memories of it!!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on January 23, 1999, 02:45:38 AM
you guys forgot the fact that the scar on Ling Chang Kung's face never stayed the same, and that Lee Ho never had blood on his left arm.. until AFTER he got out of the water! love the page!!!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Torgo on June 27, 1999, 03:48:40 AM
TOO MUCH DAMN PLOT!  I mean really, when you have two ACTUAL cripples starring in your kung fu movie, do you really need to throw in every known kung-fu movie cliche in there with it? Can't we just focus on the two guys who don't have any arms or legs? Do we need Mr. Cocky Young Bastard, and Mr. Evil Scarred Man and Mr. Wise Old Master?  Well, okay, yeah, we do.  It's kinda sad when you focus on the cripples.  I was rooting for the evil scarred guy, by the way.  I like how they ended the movie without killing him, it kinda lets you just decide that he lived, and went and got a gun or something and shot the two criipples.  Then he went to a whorehouse with cocky young bastard and everyone is happy.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on July 28, 1999, 09:36:53 PM
this movie creates a great dilemma for veiwers.  within seconds you will both laugh at the stupidity and be utterly assamed of this spectical.  if you can sit through the entire movie on the first try you posess extreme self-control.  

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on August 23, 1999, 01:37:05 AM
My favorite kung-fu movie of all time. I just convinced a large group of friends to watch this movie and all of them thought it was the coolest movie. Of course, I wouldn't recommend anyone to watch this movie unless you've got as sick of a mind as my friends and I. Personally, I find it funny as hell to watch a cripple with no legs beat the s**t out of people with his ass. If you watch this movie, look for the climactic scene when the no-legs somehow manages to jump off the ground onto no-arms' back. After watching that, I wish i had some straps that would just pop out of my back.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Nate on September 14, 1999, 08:43:49 PM
I brought this movie to college with me and showed it to a few people in my dorm.  They thought it kicked ass, as I do.  It's damn funny to watch two cripples fight.  When the armless guy twirls the bamboo stick it is awesome as hell.  The metal-back guy kicks ass, but his hump grows and moves as the movie progresses.  I recommend this movie to anyone who wants to laugh at the less fortunate.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: www.the on September 13, 1999, 05:12:01 PM
This movie totally blowed,people with even
a limited amount of intelligence better steer
clear from this movie.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on September 19, 1999, 09:21:12 PM
If we could only master the secret of the 8 jade horses, the world would be a better place...

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on October 06, 1999, 11:55:34 AM
This movie is one of my favorites.

For those familiar with it - watch for this - when the cripples defeat Black and White, and Black gets the hat (how do you kill someone with a hat, anyway?) put on him, at one point it starts to come off, but he, the clever bastard, puts it back on....

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Philco on December 04, 1999, 08:35:33 PM
Saw this one with a buddy of mine, and we were quite amazed to learn that the Crippled Masters really ARE crippled.  Certainly a film to track down.  If you like this one kids, check out "One-Armed Swordsman".

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on December 10, 1999, 01:01:05 AM
This is the BEST movie I've ever seen! I've watched "The Crippled Masters" MANY times! I LOVE it! I just wish I could find out where I can buy it! BTW, one of my all-time favorite lines in this movie is where the wise old man dude is by himself and Mr. Scarface shows up:

Old Dirty Bastard- "Most people sleep in a bed, but I sleep in a wicker basket!"

Scarface- "Soon you will be sleeping in a coffin! Muahahahahaaaaa!"

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Sir Sword on January 29, 2000, 02:03:38 AM
Anyone realize why they were crippled? The guy with no arms was considered a traitor to the warlord. The guy with crippled legs was considered lower, so he had no real standing(ba-da-da!). Great film in all, but Old Dirty Bastard, not the rapper but the Wu Tang martial arts master, is not in it. Anybody interested in more martial arts films should rent, or buy, the Wu Tang film collection. 14-16 films in all. One film that deserves to be here is Lord of the Wu Tang, starring Jet Li. It's weird, but cool to watch.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on January 31, 2000, 11:39:53 PM
THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!!! its kinda funny tho.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on February 19, 2000, 04:47:09 PM
i enjoyed seeing them torture those two guys before they crippled them. if i were the legless guy i'd be bumping my ass alot more often than he did. or, if i were the "evil scarred" man, i'd take full advantage of the fact that those two hotties pretty much couldn't do anything when i first handicapped them.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Meghan O. on February 23, 2000, 09:12:00 PM
At first, I felt know laughing at the misfortunes of others and all; but as the movie progressed, I began to realize that these men were not to be pitied, but feared.  In all honesty they do kick-a**.  
     I also immensly enjoyed the old man in a basket shot.  I have not passed a basket without looking inside of it since I saw this movie.       P.S bushy eyebrows are sexy.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: master Jeremy Hoffman on March 13, 2000, 09:30:45 AM
This movie made my life turn into hell. Every night I wake up, because there are a hundred crippled students at my window. They all want to learn my famous 'NO ARMS & LEGS STYLE". I can't go to the window to tell them I've stopped teaching this style, because I've got no arms and legs to go to the window. I"ve got no partner like in the movie.
(I'm from Holland, now you must die, WHOOOAAAAAA!)

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Bowieism on May 17, 2000, 07:29:14 PM
oh my god!!! this movie is the f**king best!!! it's definitely the funniest movie i've ever seen!!! i was rolling on the floor armless guy wears a legless guy as a backpack to some kick ass. what more does one need for entertainment?? i had to buy it immediately!!!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: on April 29, 2000, 01:05:24 AM
I am currently watching this film for the first timeon TNT as I write this....this is by far the goofiest thing I've ever seen on TV!!!!  Me and my roomate are stuck in for the night all bored, channel surfing, When the 2 guys are training and they tie up the old master, I almost p**sed my pants, does it get cheesier than this?

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Steve on July 19, 2000, 01:28:43 AM
Me and my friend saw this movie about a year back and it is the most amazingly stupid movie I have ever seen. And I loved it! I couldn't stop laughing at the two handi-cripples beating the crap out of the worthless bad guys. I sat there laughing until tears ran down my cheeks. I mean you have this guy with this little chicken wing arm that looks like he stole it out of a bucket of KFC and this other guy with these worthless legs that that looks like sausage links that runs around on his hands like a damn monkey. This is definately one of my favorite kung fu movies of all time. If there's a movie that could someone laugh until they they s**t their pants this is the movie!!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Reno on September 18, 2000, 12:28:24 AM
This has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  The people who think this movie sucks, well... I don't know how you can not laugh your ass off at this movie.  It truly ranks among the top five movies the entire world must see.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Gabriele Sposito on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM

 It is the most romantic martial arts love story I ever  seen in my life, beside the fact that Meg Ryan wasn't in the Film. I love handicapped cripple like I love black death

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Shark on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
This is, in my opinion, the greatest martial arts movie of all time.  It's got all the cliche plot lines, combined with incredible comedy.

That nub is freakin' awesome!

I wish I knew the next time it would be on television--I really want a copy, but don't think I can bring myself to pay for it.

Kind of wierd considering that I think it is the greatest martial arts movie of all time, but if you've seen it, I think you understand.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Buster Gates on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Greetings: Until I saw Crippled Masters, I thought I had a firm grasp on what was and was not "inappropriate".  Incongruity might be a better word for this dilemma.  On the other hand, it sheds a whole new light on the issue of hero worship and the possibilities for professional poster children.  No telling where one of Jerry's more enterprising kids could take a movement like this.  For promotional purposes though I think CM could generate the buzz it trukly needs by exposure on a site like, and  


Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: travis on July 17, 2002, 01:15:18 AM
this was the funniest movie i have ever seen. i was about to pee my pants and crap myself at the sound effects and terrible martial arts.things that were good about the movie...the nub guy was good with a stick. and watch out for the guy with no legs, he might hit u with his lawnmower attack(which sound lick a cat in a garbage disposal). in my opinion, if u want good action look...anywhere else, but if u want a good laugh, buy this movie.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: The Argonaut on August 19, 2002, 04:36:18 PM
Ok, well what can you say about a movie that is as grotesque as well as entertaining. I liked this movie for the simple fact that it is entertaining. Belive what you see for special effects were not possible to make these two guys fight the way they do. b***h slapped by a nubbly hand, or bitten ankle style, this movie is a keeper!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Matt S on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
I watched this film after a stag party some years ago and until now doubted its existence. It seemed the kind of fantasy / illusion brought on by drinking too much bleach (if there is such a limit) Well done to these fellas, despite the glaringly obvious shortfalls of the plot and action sequences it has remained my only topic of conversation for many years.........

A must see film.  *****

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Lee on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Well,i came to this site because of a movie based on "Dragonball" and i became really interested in these bad movies. I remember when i was around 10 or 9(im 15 now).I used to stay up late and watch this tv show on TNT,i cant remember the name but it had weird in it; I also remember there was a host and he'd always be drinking coffe and talking about the movie. Ive watched this movie and a lot others on the tv show,because of this site ive rediscovered my love for weird and funny movies. I remember this movie and i thought it was very entertaining, it was the movie that got me into martial arts movies.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Nate on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Goofy fun yes, but truly scary to sit and watch the horrible black, rotted front teeth on the two cripples.......that's the most unsettling thing in a kung-fu flick you'll probably ever see.............yeeaach!

Also, notice during the final fight with the scarred/hunchbacked baddie that the entire scene suddenly shifts from the baddies palatial estate to the cripples' forest hide-away!

I found this title on DVD at Suncoast btw.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Bardley on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
The first time I watched it, riveted, I thought, "This is some sick s**t!"  The second time, I thought it a work of genius.  I was right both times.  Evil Ferrous Hump has nothing but good lines, check: "Well you doing seem to like living very much."  "What's that?!  Hahahaha!  I don't know what you're talking about!"  And, after burning the legs off Kung Suh Ching, "Don't look at me like that."  Listen for the moments when the sound effects indicate augmented super-kung fu, like when Legless does the copter effect.  

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Purity Control on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
FWIW, you can now find this film on DVD in a 2-disc, 4-flick cheapo set put out by Brentwood Communications entitled "Kung Fu Wars".  $5.99 for the set at Best Buy, which effectively comes out to $1.50 for this legendary piece of kung fu cinema.  Full frame transfer, probably from a VHS, but who cares?  :)

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Dini on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Holy crap son...this movie is one of the best things I've ever seen. My favourite part is where the little old man in the basket randomly rolls into the room and all the bad guys assume there are vast riches in it. I also like learning how little blood hacking off someone's arms causes. A movie by the twisted, for the twisted.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Will Sloan on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
When the armless guy started twirling the bamboo stick with his deformed stump, my jaw dropped to the floor and hasn't come back up since. Simply the most unforgettable scene in motion picture history.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Seth on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Very good movie, I don't understand why it is only here at Well my favorite part is when the two cripples walk (and whatever it's called when you walk on your hands) back into the chicken house and order food. Then then old waiter guy tries to take the guy's chicken again, but he's like... Not this time, and commences to beat his ass all over the place with his feet, and chicken wing arm. It is the best 6 dollars I have ever spent in my entire life to buy this DVD. And to think I didn't even know what I was buying at the time. I have the Master of the 8 Jade Horses as my windows background now thanks to this web site! l8r

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Falzar on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
This movie is a HUGE PIECE OF crap. Notice that "huge piece" means for me it is still good. In fact, it is SO  incongruitous to see crippled in a kung fu movie,the plot is SO ridiculous and the sounds effects are SO loosy that it is an absolute "must see".

I am also fond of "normal" cinema and I think movies like this one give you a wider view of what-a-movie-can-be because it certainly NOTHING LIKE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Penny on August 23, 2006, 10:53:27 AM
I work in the HIV field and I came accross this script thru an article by Shawn from Poz Action. This is great, I really enjoy a good hero flick especially when its combined with people who have severe challenges who overcome them in the end.. Kudos to you who represent them.

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: P on October 23, 2006, 07:19:52 AM
Best. Girlfriend hated. But anybody with an incling of humor should realize this is a classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Andrew Thornhill on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I found this flick at Suncoast for 5 bucks. I couldn't resist.

Greatest. Movie. Ever.

I especially like the line from the Kung-Fu master, "I sleep in a steaming basket, hehe, most people sleep in beds!" It's so not scene appropriate.

Title: Re: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Galadhir on March 12, 2007, 03:45:45 PM
I happened to see this little gem very late the night before my wedding 7 years ago.  I had a buddy spend the night and we decided to try and stay up all night, drinking, watching stupid movies, whatever...  This movie came on and we couldn't stop watching it!  I was totallly hooked!  Yes its cheesy, yes its campy, yes its cheap but come on!!  How many movies like this have EVER been made???  A classic.  I bought a copy soon after and it has become an urban legend of sorts among friends and acquaintances.

Title: Re: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Mr Handsom on January 29, 2009, 07:20:55 AM
In response to this comment:
"This movie totally blowed,people with even
a limited amount of intelligence better steer
clear from this movie."

Whoever said that must have a very limited sense of humor. I am sorry, but my IQ is 160, and I thought the movie was hilarious. Im not quoting my IQ to boost myself, Im just saying that one need not take it so seriously. Geez...why is it that people cant see the amazingly absurd humor attached to this and similar flicks. If a person doesnt find it humorous, so be it. But dont knock the merit of the film if you cannot comprehend the varying aspects and qualities it brings to the table. At very least, it is a classic idea that will go down in history as one of a kind.

Title: Re: The Crippled Masters
Post by: LSheamus on December 04, 2010, 01:32:26 AM
I just can't help thinking that the guy's bloody arm meat looks like a barbecue chicken leg.

Title: Re: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Umaril The Unfeathered on December 04, 2010, 04:06:04 PM
I've seen this movie, and it should not be confused with the far superior Shaw Brothers' film of the same name. At least, I believe the Shaw film goes by the title Crippled Masters. 

The Shaw movie I speak of is also known as Return Of The Five Deadly Venoms due to the 5 core stars who played in the original Five Deadly Venoms, save for Wei Pai (who played Snake.)

Any of you who have seen it know the film of which I speak. In any case, watching an armless and a legless master kick a*s was a fun movie.

If anyone thinks this one is bad, wait 'till you see The Incredible Super Chan.   :buggedout:

Title: Re: The Crippled Masters
Post by: Knightsaber1 on April 02, 2013, 08:25:22 AM
Just watched this one for free on YouTube and actually liked it a lot. Cool popcorn flick, or in my case chicken and beer.  :drink:
Not fond of the ending, though, because it looked like it just ran out of film and put "THE END" on it instead. Kind of Python-esque, but no comedic intent.