Badmovies.org Forum

Information Exchange => Reader Comments => Topic started by: Jenn on April 05, 1999, 12:27:24 PM



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Jenn on April 05, 1999, 12:27:24 PM
The VD wav... why the hell did he answer back by telling her what VD meant??  That wasn't what she asked!


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: legumeman@yahoo.com on August 06, 1999, 07:54:55 AM
 This movie was utter crap. I think you made a mistake with the rating aswell because in Australia this film is only rated M. If it is rated R then censorship laws have alot to answer for.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: on November 17, 1999, 11:14:05 PM
This girl had a baby with all of her clothes on??? What did she do, cough it out?


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Paul Westbrook on December 09, 1999, 10:25:10 AM
I rented this film for some friends one time, and they said that watching Jesse wrestle is much better than seeing him act in this junk. Jesse, stick to wrestling, and politics.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Paul H. on January 24, 2000, 03:05:37 PM
I really wanted to like this movie, after all I am from Minnesota and grew up only 3 miles from Jesse's house.  However, this movie sucks.  And the only way for a movie to suck in my book is to be boring.  Whats is with the bad camera work and long chases in the woods.  I think I fell asleep at that point.  

Rating 2.5 out of ten or 1 green glob.

As for all of his other Movies.  Jesse is the star.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Adam on February 05, 2000, 09:58:29 PM
Wasn't there a scene where Tommy mentally makes another kid pee his pants?


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Stefan Robak on February 20, 2000, 10:26:14 AM
The Anti-Life equation?  Wasn't that something that the comic book villain Darkseid (not a typo) was looking for?  Oh, well. The New Gods suck anyway.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: The Co-mater on July 14, 2000, 01:52:32 PM
I'd have to say that this was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, and it wasn't meant to be funny. Watch the movie if you need a good laugh. Can somebody do me a favor and provide me with Ground Transportation?


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Jeremy French on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
A friend lent me this movie about 3 years ago to show me how bad is was.  I'm a movie lightweight, and could only manage about half way through before I gave up.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Danny O'Brien on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Yes, this film is a genius piece of work.  It has an easy going attitude, and doesn't take itself too seriously.  It reminds me very much of early David Kronenberg films, only far superior.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: popman on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Very boring movie.

I had the feeling to see a bad remake of Terminator with a 80's pornmovie sountrack.



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Steven Millan on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
   "Rock Superstar" Jesse Ventura does very little to flex his acting muscles in this extremely cheezoid flick from Canada,the Land of Terrence and Phillip.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Josie on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I found this in the 'Cheapass DVD' bin at Wal-Mart for $3.88, and I gotta say I'm glad that's all I paid for it.  To be honest, I DID think you were kidding about the soundtrack.  Oy vey.  There were a couple of bits where I was positive Kenny G was about to start singing 'I'll Be Home For Christmas.'

Excuse me, I have to go listen to some Nickleback or something now... anything to dispel this weird feeling that I'm stuck in an elevator.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Kenner on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Wow, It's true, Jesse Venturas is an EVEN WORSE at acting then he is at politics.
The movie itself was directed by Damian Lee who helmed such classics as "Food Of The Gods II" and "Agent Red" is bad but has a few moments of entertainment (Unitentional hilarity) to relieve the tedium.



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: MessiahMan on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I rented this movie once...it was kinda slow, but the easy listening soundtrack was GREAT!  I wasn't TOO partial to the movie, but I just found the DVD on half.com for 3 bucks, so I figured I'd buy it up while the buying was good.  It's the same price I'd pay to RENT it round my new digs, unfortunately!


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I've seen bad movies in my time but this one is right up there. It looks like the opening scene takes place in someone ham radio basement.
Everytime my 23 year old son decides to be a wise guy, I threaten him with having to watch this film.
Besides the poor acting, poor script, poor lighting and poor filming, it's not a bad film.

Jessie. I think you show alot of "Seal" guts making this film.
Sempe fie



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: phoenix on June 28, 2004, 07:24:25 PM
This is the now govenor of minnesota in a movie that stinks well just think of how many movies the big named stars did that were flops(liz taylor in cleopatra, John wayne in the caquerer)and thats just a few


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Mike on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
This movie is up there with Werewolf as one of the all time greats.  I watched it for the first time after seeing Eric Roberts star in Endangered Species.  A good set up film.  

I could watch Abraxas say, "I must find Secundus" and run away 100 times.  Unbelievable.

Another subtle gem in this movie are the looks that the older Sheriff give the younger cop...and their conversation in the car.  Epic.  

The perfect double feature is definitely Abraxas and Werewolf.  



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Secondus on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Who cares about Jesse "the Bådy" Ventura?? Sven-Ole Thorsen is the only thing that can save this movie from being total garbage.. the soundtrack is absolutely HORRIBLE!! The worst I have ever heard in a movie, by far! The saxophone in the woods during the chase is SO malplaced and BORING!

Sven-Ole's one-liners like "HAVE A NICE DAY" and "I Loooove Children" are hilarious, I went out and bought "Viking Sagas" and "Fatal Combat" just because he had big roles in them..and he didn't dissapoint me (although the movies did)


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Jose on April 24, 2005, 12:41:12 PM
Found this thing for a $1.99 over at Walgreens. Pretty good deal for a horrible Terminator rip-off. I enjoyed it.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Felicity on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
I saw this movie back in 1997 and I enjoyed it at the time.  I found Jesse Ventura’s voice very pleasant and it was neat to see him not wearing a wig, as he did for most movies back then.  He actually looked surprisingly good balding--not with a wig, and not with his head completely shaved.  It made his character come off as just a good, decent man, nothing fancy in the looks department, but not unpleasant to look at either, what with the strong square jaw and big muscular body.

Nice to see Sven Thorsen too.  He was very likeable and sympathetic as Secundus.  I’ve liked him ever since his one line in The Running Man, which come to think of it also had Jesse Ventura (in a bad wig).

I loved the bit where the alien commander says “Parsecs are not an appropriate Earth time unit.”  My friend Ryan (who describes himself as “a Star Wars sad bastard”) have always disagreed about the “parsecs” line in Star Wars, and this supports my case.  :-)

Things that bugged me:

• They never explained the alien terms “komader” and “vaulted” (except to say that “vaulted” means “T-squared,” which doesn’t help).

• Abraxas has hair in the opening segment where he’s chasing Secundus on Earth for the first time.  So he kept his hair for 11,000 years, and then starting losing it in the last five?

• Except for Abraxas and Secundus, none of the characters are likeable.

• A lot of it is set in a small town or the nearby woods, which happens in so many B-movies that a lot of times I won’t even start to watch a movie if the words “a small town” are in the plot summary.  Fortunately, it’s *not so* small a town that we don’t get to see Secundus raising hell in a few civilized locations, like that restaurant, or the street with the hookers.


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Malone on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
I watched this movie with some friends last weekend (we found it in a 2$ dvd bin).

By the end of this picture we were convinced it was a propoganda film for NAMBLA.

From the talk of VD.
to the naked chat about men who were partners in bed with tommy.
To the line where Secundus looooooves children.
Also Secundus chooses to slowly undress himself while commenting to Tommy that they are all alone now.

Also this movie does own one of the best catch phrases of all time.

MY BOX HAS VD


Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Paul on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
This movie rules. I have a DVD Player in the car and listen to it when Im in the car. So entertaining!!



Title: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Kyle on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
The only good song on the Soundtrack "Strong As I Am".

"Strong As I Am" the song that lives!  Has dug in, and made a home on myspace www.myspace.com/strongasiam.

Everything "Strong As I Am", all "Strong As I Am".

FOUR mp3 versions: The Prime Movers, Show of Hands/Altered State and Gregory Markel Solo.  The Prime Movers music video, Gregory Markel Live Video.  The Pivotal scences in Manhunter and Abraxas: Gaurdian of The Universe.  "Strong As I Am" Fan creations.  Lyrics, Interviews, compilations, anything "Strong As I Am" it's here!

For more "Strong As I Am", Prime Movers, Show of Hands, Altered State and "The Voice" Gregory Markel, you can find it all on myspace:

www.myspace.com/gregorymarkelrocks
www.myspace.com/primemovers
www.myspace.com/showofhandschordinside
www.myspace.com/alteredstatedos
www.myspace.com/strongasiam

Want more?  I got more:

www.gregorymarkel.com
www.primemoversmusic.com
www.alteredstate.com
www.freewebs.com/alteredstatedos
 
Laides the official myspace/alteredstatedos "Strong As I Am" shirt!  www.alteredstatedos.spreadshirt.com

And get yourself Autographed Copies of Altered State "DOS" featuring "Strong As I Am" only at www.alteredstate.com

kyle@gregorymarkel.com
714-656-4170



Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Adam on December 10, 2006, 10:34:37 PM
The soft jazz!! holy crap... i couldn't even finish watching the short clip.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Mr_Vindictive on December 11, 2006, 08:40:42 PM
Ugh.

I actually picked this one up on a double feature dvd with Slipstream (which I already own) for 1.00 at the local WalGreens.

Terrible, terrible stuff.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: HarlotBug3 on July 24, 2007, 01:47:23 PM
I was always curious about this movie as a child, but only because our cat was named Abraxas. Silly right?


The fight...with the elevator music...I don't think I could laugh hard enough to dull the pain of this one. Thanks for the warning.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Ryan on April 07, 2008, 12:43:59 PM
I heard over at the IMDB boards that Abraxas may get the Criterion treatment. I'd rather maybe see it get proper treatment from Anchor Bay or Blue Underground. It would be cheaper than what Criterion can give you.

Anyway, I think this movie could have been on MST3K. Maybe the Film Crew, RiffTrax, or Cinematic Titanic could handle this.

btw, I'm looking for a copy from Cineplex Odeon Home Video. I know it may sound silly, but I'm just looking for it. If anyone has that exact copy from Cineplex Odeon Home Video, let me know at ryan02732@gmail.com


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Terf on April 27, 2008, 12:47:11 AM
Hee, hee! I haven't seen this movie, but I just wanted to comment on the "Buy" option above. 53 Cents... Are there any movies CHEAPER than that on Amazon?! XD Well, maybe, but wow... it must be bad.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Valentine Kutter on September 18, 2008, 02:48:49 PM
Oh yeah !!
One of the *snicker* greatest action movies *snicker* of the early 90's *snicker* is finally mine...... :bouncegiggle:

OK, almost made it thru that with a straight face.

Thanks to Digiview and Wal-mart this "gem" is mine for a whole dollar. PLUS its a double feature with Brandon Lee's "Laser Mission". How can you go wrong ? BUt seriously this is one of the bad at its best.

VK :thumbup:


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: snargles on October 28, 2008, 04:36:39 PM
What a lot of people don't realize is that this film was actually a pilot for a show called "My Two Finders" in which Secundus & Abraxas begrudgingly tolerate each other while providing father figures for the comader.Abraxas being the Good,Honest one,Secundus(his real belly-rubbin' daddy)is the mischevious,fun one.Sonia tries her best to keep the boys in line.Every now and then,when no ones looking,Secundus tries to extract the anti-life equation,but deep down he has a heart of gold.Just as Alf would never actually eat the cat.The guys bond,get balded together,eat reciepts,and get a lotta strange looks from earth folks.Well, thats what would have happened,but unfortuneatly only Jim Belushi signed up for the project!


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Ryan on December 29, 2008, 01:17:49 PM
I eventually found a copy. Pretty bad, but fun at the same time. 10/10

I own Circle Man, Ski School, Busted Up, and Food of the Gods Part 2. 4 other films from the same director, Damian Lee.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Annoyomous on November 22, 2009, 12:48:16 AM
Nobody has yet mentioned the cameo by James Belushi as the school principal.


Title: Re: Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
Post by: Char on May 10, 2010, 09:59:05 AM
Ugh I tried watching this about 10 years ago and just couldn't get through it. I do love bad movies, but this was sloooow. Although I did love that she got pregnant through her clothes and gave birth like a day later. Funny thing is I sold it to Game Stop for $1, my friend saw it there and bought it because he knows I like bad movies. So we wasted money on it twice!  :bouncegiggle: