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Information Exchange => Reader Comments => Topic started by: emi on May 05, 2002, 09:41:53 AM



Title: Troll II
Post by: emi on May 05, 2002, 09:41:53 AM
Thiiiiink of the choooooooooooooleeeeesteroooool!!!!!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jason W. on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM

"Never mind her...DRINK YOUR BROTH!"
"Open your mouth my little friend."
"We were just givin' him some ice cream."
"Is that the voice of your dead grandfather?"..."yeeessss!"
"Green...the color of sap!" (Sap is green?)

Suffice to say, every line of diologue is a work of art. Brava Nilbog...brava Troll 2.


Title: Troll II
Post by: A. on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
The movie looks like it sucks... but that theme song... my God, it's awesome!  It's so Depeche Mode-esque!  I can't resist a movie (no matter how bad it is) that has rockin' synth music as as good as that!  My new goal is to find "Troll II."


Title: Troll II
Post by: Greywizard on August 24, 2000, 01:36:11 PM
Believe me, this movie is hysterical! It's so incredibly inept, it has to be seen to be believed! Just take a look at the user comments at the IMDB.

Anyone want to start a petition to get this released on DVD?


Title: Troll II
Post by: SJ Payne on August 30, 2000, 06:29:27 PM
I can't beleive it!  They actually made a movie worse then the original Troll!  The first Troll was bad, but at least it had the benefit of a few stars, including, (gasp!) Sonny Bono!  This is just downright terrible.  Only watch this if your a struggling b-movie screenwriter whose trying to convince himself that there are worse things out then then your script!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Mofo Rising on August 30, 2000, 08:27:26 PM
I really enjoyed this movie.  It's amazing that out of all the acting choices these people could have made, they always pick the worst one.  Except, of course, for the kid's joyful cry of discovery, "A double-decker baloney sandwich!"  Great movie.

"Stop arguing!  Josh, start singing!  Sing that song I like!"
"Row row row your boat. . ."


Title: Troll II
Post by: Just some old nobody on August 31, 2000, 02:37:50 PM
Waitaminute - the movie is called Troll II, but the only non-human characters are goblins?  Makes a heck of a lot of sense to call this "Troll II", don't it?  That's like saying Disney's first choice of a title for "The Little Mermaid" was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon".


Title: Troll II
Post by: Bender on September 02, 2000, 04:53:32 PM
Hilarious bad movie.


"they're eating her and then they're going to eat me...oh my god!!!!!!!!!!"


"I'm tightening my belt by one loop so I won't feel hunger pains"


"Go away Monsters"


"Nilbog! It's Goblin spelled backwards!!!!!!!!"


"Stop the car dad I feel sick!"


"My father's gonna cut up your little nuts and eat them"


Troll II also has some of the worst acting ever captured on film.




Title: Troll II
Post by: Demonicuss on September 01, 2000, 02:17:49 PM
Aww man, this stinker is what got me started on Bad Films (and at the tender age of ten no less!).  Let us give a brief moment of silent comtemplation before we verbally rip this one a new hole.  I mean, there ain't no freaking 'Trolls' in the damn flick!!!  Besidea, the acting, script, plot, locations, aw hell, the whole film's a stinker lurking on the shelf, waiting for some poor sucker looking for a good Troll movie.

Watch only if you have been prepared (you know, seen 10 hours straight of MST3k)


Title: Troll II
Post by: jimdandy on September 04, 2000, 10:05:51 AM
"Nilbog!!!!  That's goblin spelled backwards!!!"


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jeff on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
This movie is phenominal.  

My favorite part is the hardly mentioned popcorn scene.

and when Grandpa Seth appears in Holli's room because he "hasn't learned the layout of the house yet"

awesome, awesome movie.

The song that the towns people sing goes on forever.  "La la la, la la la lalala"

EAT UP!!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Devin on September 12, 2000, 02:10:00 PM
I worked at a video store for a while, so I can attest to the "half-rewound" thing.  This movie causes a sort of mental arrest after about thirty minutes of viewing.  I don't remember a whole lot about it - I think I blocked it out - but I remember that I had to stop the VCR because the movie was beginning to make me physically ill.  I mean, literally.  No other movie has ever done that to me...


Title: Troll II
Post by: Tim McGahren on October 02, 2000, 11:18:26 PM
Yes - this movie would would be punishment in some other countries if they could stand to watch it enough times to dub it and not rip their own eyes out. This is the second worst movie ever made, second only to 9 1/2 Ninjas. Like another reviewer, this movie made me physically ill, and I can tell you it wasn't because of the special effects.


Title: Troll II
Post by: COLTER FREEMAN on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
   BEST MOVIE EVER. What else can I say. There is one scene that does show a lack of care towards the wellbeing of the midgets in the troll (goblin) suits. When one is thrown down the stairs I swear to GOD he breaks his leg, I watched that part numerous times, I almost p**sed in my pants.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Michael on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I caught this on cable a few years back and I recognized some of the "actors" from when I lived in salt Lake city. A year ago I found the video for 99cents and bought it. This was the best 99 cents I ever spent. It took me three nights to watch the tape, I watched it in segments, and by the third dose, I was hooked!! Like a light bulb the idea flashed in my mind that this may be  one of the best "bad movies'  ever. As a lover of bad movies  this was quite a revelation. I watched this with a group of 20 friends this thanksgiving. The movie is unbelieveable. you put the video on thinking no one will like it as much as you and within 5 minutes they have you rewinding the tape to  savour every bit of the quoteable dialogue.  I hope this comes out on DVD soon, I don't want my tape to wear out. I think we owe a round of applause for everyone involved with Troll 2 what an amazijng accomplishment.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Grandpa Seth on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
What can I say more than the other comments.  This movie is magical.  Each scene is so unbelievably bad, yet the most quotable movie I have ever seen.  The daughter's dance is perfect.  So are the burlap-sacks and the total of 12 masks they recycle in every scene for the trolls.  Not to mention, the 17 paper cut-out lightning bolts at the end when the trolls are dying.  "You see this, do you see this?  This is hospitality, you can't p**s on hospitality."  "What'y gonna do to me daddy?"

Amazing


Title: Troll II
Post by: he didn'y say on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I am 16 and I must say, when I saw this film back in 1993 it realy screwed me up. This movie is not sake for childeren or elders(Or anyone for that matter!!) I think I found the movie for anarexics(I know I spelled it wrong)you the eating disorder in which people starve themselves to get thin (NOT THAT I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST SUPERMODELS OR ACTRESSES HA!HA!)

Seriously this I couldn't stomach any for for 2 weeks (a movie has never done anything like THAT to me. I think at least everyone should see this B movie just once(the world would be much thinner). And by the way I thought that scene with the corn was very LATE NIGHT if you know what I mean. Maybe I'll rent the movie just for that scene(also the ending was very confusingm, thanks.)


Title: Troll II
Post by: gareth young on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
i'm proud to say i have the dvd of this sorry film!
i can't believe that one joe d'amato who has made some of the goriest horrors and sexy hardcore films ever made this stinker.
maybe he had a spare 5 pound note in his back pocket.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Dan Adams on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
They are eating her..then they are going to eat me, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually have people who want to borrow this movie?? This was the best $2 I ever invested!!THat was still too much. I know damn well that this isn't on DVD, because it sucks so much. OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Ian on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I paid a wopping $33CND for this movie, and I must say, it's been worth every penny.  

I've invited friends over in groups to witness the hilarity spewed forth from this "film".  I mean, you *know* it's going to be good when there's not a single preview or even a film company logo at the beginning of the movie!  And this pile was made in 1990!  It looks and sounds like it was made in 1980.

Sadly, the kid and most of the secondary actors seem to be the only people who can act!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jared Barber on May 04, 2001, 11:13:55 PM
This is my favorite movie. My friend and I may be the biggest Troll 2 fans. We quote it more often than not. Believe me, we love this movie. We will start a webpage.


Title: Troll II
Post by: albus dumbledore on September 01, 2001, 03:39:07 PM
I thought this movie was more frightening than the first one but, the trolls in it were called goblins and so they would need to change the title to goblin instead of troll.


Title: Troll II
Post by: David on April 07, 2003, 12:55:44 PM
If the Teletubbies ever contracted leprosy, went mad and burned the Noo Noo this is what it would look like. I could not believe it when I found out this movie was made in the 90s. Im sure they stole the music from the old Sonic the Hedgehog games. Get a bunch of friends over, head for the grimiest looking video store in town and rent this film. I have got to see the first one....


Title: Troll II
Post by: Greenhornet on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Wait a minute, the street sign below "Nilbog" says "125 N. Street". Just how big was this town? To have that many streets, it would have to be a major CITY! Something like 20,000 people!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Nick Styles on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
One of the mpost unintenionally funny films I have ever seen! My friend bought it at a car-boot sale and we all sat found and watched it and were unable to stop laughing for the entire duration. "I'll have to tighten my belt a notch to get rid of the hunger pains, i'll tell your mother and sister to do the same..."


Title: Troll II
Post by: B-Movie Man on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I remember renting this movie when I was 6, when Blockbuster didn't discriminate about certain horror flicks. I liked the first Troll, it was good fun, but then I rented this extremely dastardly sequel with actors who have only this credit to their name...WHAT A SHAME!
This has got to be one of the worst films of all time, even the IMD agrees with me, its on the top 20 worst somewhere. Only good for a GREATER laugh. I cannot believe you guys rated the original less though. I thought that was fun, and the fact that the kid's name is Harry Potter 15 or so years b4 the craze is sorta funny.


Title: Troll II
Post by: TROLL HUNTER on February 27, 2002, 11:56:05 PM
Greetings fellow Troll lovers. Has anyone noticed that in TROLL 1 the charachter was named Harry Potter, and he was learning magic from the witch upstairs who had a teacher named Galwin or some such?. Except for that the movie stunk worse than Troll dung.


Title: Troll II
Post by: M Kauffmann on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Just rented this. The tape was actually not rewound, just played half way through...exactly as the review predicted, I laughed my ass off therefore even before I started watching.

I'd been waiting a long time to find a copy of this, and I wasn't let down, except for the last half-hour or so which was bad/boring, and not bad/hilarious as the first hour is.

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said however. The acting is atrocious, the script bewildering, the fx truly catastrophic in their ineptitude. But above and beyond all that it just stinks, stinks enough to be bloody entertaining!

My fav scene? Definately the insane sing-a-long in the car. ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT!! ROW ROW ROW YOUR (ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT!!!) GENTLY UP THE (GENTLY UP THE STREAM) UP THE STREAM (ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT) MERRILY (GENTLY UP THE STREAM) I mean did they have to be screaming this song and making the poor traumatised kid lead.


Title: Troll II
Post by: leopard on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
i acually bought this film on dvd becuse it was only 5
i should hsve kept my money.wat a pile of cr*p this is movies at there lowest infact i couldnt watch it to the end.


Title: Troll II
Post by: chlegm mologna on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
This movie is really something--I just haven't figured out exactly what it is yet.  It was almost painful to watch at times, but somehow, thoroughly entertaining.  Like a train wreck!  What I don't know is, why would you want to get involved with a girl whose dad will "cut off your little nuts and eat them", especially a girl who has such a "pleasant" demeanor?  

All in all, a terrible movie with a little of bit of everything you love about bad movies.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Joe on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I saw this movie six years ago on Showtime - I must have been real bored to watch the whole thing through!
I think I remember the sister being kind of cute, and was surprised to learn this film was made in 1992 instead of 1986!
My favorite scene is when the boy has to stop his family from eating the food that will turn them into plants for the goblins to eat - the grandfather freezes time (I think) and warns the boy, who then stands up on the table and realizes to his own distaste (notice the grimace on his face as he says to himself, "I HAVE to...I HAVE to...!") that he has to urinate on the food to save his family!
The father was far more lenient than most fathers would be after their son just p**sed all over their dinner!
The last scene was also good - where the mother had finally been turned into vegetable matter and the goblins were feasting on her....the son walks in and sees it and the goblin grins and says, "MMmmmm.....yummy Mommy!".


Title: Troll II
Post by: Ryan J. Kenner on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I remember when this movie came out, it played in the local drive-in, In Northfield. I was about 10 or 11 and I remember finding the movie so bad it was funny, and now that it's been at least a decade later, the movie is still a riot! When I boughht it from the local video rental place, the movie had been like 15 minutes into it, where that nerd got turned into a plant.  I actually know a guy in Salt Lake City who played one of the goblins, and he told me that he had never seen such a cheesy production. Overall the movie is a bottom of the barrel turd but it makes for a great guilty pleasure.


Title: Troll II
Post by: OMGWTF on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
My old friends introduced me to Troll 2 nearly three years ago over a delightful evening of caffiene pills, Miller Lite, and vomiting. I was the only one sober enough to actually watch the movie. The Erotic Corn Cob sequence will stick with me for life. Also take note that the father's shirt is less buttoned in every scene. We're still not quite sure if my friends' regurgitation was caused by alcohol or this movie...


Title: Troll II
Post by: Troll 3 on November 25, 2002, 10:27:45 PM
It is on DVD, its in PAL format but its out there if you really want it, try ebay or amazon.co.uk, youd be able to play it on a computer of PAL compatible dvd player.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jellyroll on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
holy s**t!  i have found this movie...i came across this masterpiece from a 30 year old burnout living with my friend's family about 4 years ago.  never have i experienced such laughter.  we were left wondering if this was the worst movie of all time or the stroke of pure comedic genius.  the dead grandpa is too much!  oh my GOD!!!!  i'd love to do that girl though ;)


Title: Troll II
Post by: Noel on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I have only seen this film recently but think it is the best worst film of all time. It is unbelievably bad! I haven't stopped laughing at it since. It is just mind bogglingly bad! The acting is the worst i've ever seen, the plot is just dumb. The funniest part for me is when the dead grandad stops time for 30 seconds but you can see that the actors are still moving!


Title: Troll II
Post by: DLR on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
Well...  It's all been said in posts before this one but I just HAD to add my thoughts.

Troll 2...  I absolutely adore this film.  It's the "best" worst movie I've ever seen and that includes Battlfield Earth, Ghost Dog, Femme fatal & anything by David Lynch.

I recommend watching Troll 2 while on the toilet because you'll laugh so hard that you may s**t yourself.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Geoffrey on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
I first saw this film when I was in grade school.  I definitely enjoyed it, but as I moved into my teen years, I ended up forgetting about it.  I went vegan when I was 14 years old and remembered a movie I had seen long ago that was about vegan creatures  that killed and ate meat eaters.  I was very amused at the concept of seeing this again, but I had completely forgotten the title.  

After about a year of half assed searching, I found it again and have been in love ever since.  

VEGAN JUSTICE!
(Im really not a hardass... I just find it to be amusing)


Title: Troll II
Post by: JOSH on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
My mom picked this up for me about ten years ago from the local video store. The only reason she rented it was because she saw on the box that the kid's name was "Joshua" just like mine. I was only eight or nine at the time, too young to relize what a horrible movie this was or appreciate it's cheese factor. I didn't see it again for years until a few months ago I saw it listed on the IMDB's 100 Worst List. I rented it, watched, laughed, screamed, and now I worship it! I just have one question: "where are all the beautiful, liberated, horny girls?!"


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jeremy on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
I'm shocked!  I saw this movie agaes ago when i was like 12 or 13, but i forgot about it until i saw it for sale as a double-sided disc with the original Troll. When i viewed it at a younger age I thought it was funny. Now that I'm older, I think it's hilarious! They don't get much better (worse) than that.


Title: Troll II
Post by: James Perry on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Rejoice my fellow Troll lovers!  Troll/Troll2 DVD double feature to be (or already has been) unleached upon us in August of 2003!!  Widescreen and all...it appears!  Check your favorite DVD store to preorder!

I remember wanting Troll 2 to be good.  This was when I took Troll seriously too.  Now I'm much older, 13 years of Mystery Science Theater 3000 behind me...and I know what to do with films like this!  I may save them for my yearly Halloween movie month where I watch at least 3 films a day during October.  Fun! fun! fun!!  

Great clip from the film.  I sincerely don't remember it being quite that cheezy!  


Title: Troll II
Post by: Patrick on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
This is just one of the greatest films ever made. The acting (the mother, dead grandfather etc etc etc...) is so bad that I can't find words for it. You'll laugh to death in almost every scene just because of the acting. It looks like they're just reading of the manuscript word-wise. The costumes on the goblins looks like some cheap halloween costume. One of them even has his eyes fixed at the same position the whole movie! If you're up for a laughter, don't hesitate in buying this amzing movie!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Volstag on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
This is my first, or second (?), time visiting this site.  I guess I'm somewhat perplexed as to how the movies are rated here.  One would think that the ultimate bad-movie would get 5 stars, whereas actually decent films would receive less stars (because they're "less bad" -- if that makes any sense).  For example: Army of Darkness receives 4 stars on this site, whereas Troll II receives 2 stars.  Troll II is infinitely worse than Army of Darkness, in every conceivable way.  AoD is actually a damn good movie -- in fact, I would go so far as to suggest that it doesn't even belong on this site.

But anyway, Troll II, IMO, is one of the best "worst" movies ever made.  It's one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've ever seen -- it, literally, blows away mainstream comedies for pure mirth value.  Anyone who is a fan of bad movies owes it to themselves (and their beer swilling buddies) to rent/buy this movie and watch it at least twice a year.


Title: Troll II
Post by: BorgPuppy on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Don't look now--it's coming on DVD! With the first one!
http://www.deepdiscountdvd.com/dvd.cfm?itemid=MGD004880


Title: Troll II
Post by: BigDoug on October 18, 2003, 06:00:22 PM
I have never laughed so much at something that was never meant to be funny. Did they actually expect people to take this movie seriously when they released it? my favorite part is that horrible music. Anybody know where i can get the soundtrack?


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jim on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
It's been a long, long time since I've seen this movie, but for some reason it has stuck in my mind. Unlike other B-movies, this is the bad kind of stuck. I guess it scarred me for life. I'm glad I can finally "exercise these demons." Where do I start? The kid p**sing on the food (that looks suspicious to begin with. I have no idea why anyone would eat that crap), the never-ending streams of uninteresting green blood, the sign being spelled backwards (as if you couldn't figure it out), and the fact that they actually made a sequel to Troll. This is not a guilty pleasure movie, it's just guilty.


Title: Troll II
Post by: James Perry on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
God this films sucks!  I wonder why this never appeared on MST3K?  They (and WE) would've had a ball!  When Mystery Science Theater 4000 kicks off (just wishful thinking) this should be the debut episode.  Are you listening Sci-Fi Channel?  

HOBGOBLINS beat this out by a few votes on imdb.com's bottom 100.  In my opinion HOB is slightly better than this.  Well, lemme put that another way.  HOB isn't as all out baaaaad.  And HOB had an actor go on to be in a classic flick (the dude at the high School cafeteria...er, night club I mean, was in Pulp Fiction).

Best thing about Trolls 2 is anything I watch next is going to be damn good!

BTW...kind of like explaining to your kid about humping dogs ("The dog on the bottom is choking on a bone and the one on top is helping him out, honey.") the guys sleeping in the extremely small bed together are brothers.  No problem.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Dave on December 01, 2003, 12:11:03 AM
After seeing this movie on cinemax several years ago, I have to say that this movie still cracks me up and should be the worst movie of all time!  To put it nicely, everything about the movie sucks.  For some reason, I like s**tty movies though.  The thing that surprises me the most is that they actually converted this crapfest to DVD.  Congratulations!


Title: Troll II
Post by: PikachuManson on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Why did they call it Troll 2 if it has no troll in it!! It's terrible. One of the worst movies I have ever seen.
The only reason I got it was because it was a two for one deal at the local mall. It came with Troll 1 on a double sided DVD. I liked the first one and i had wanted to see it again. Yeah, I could tell this one was gonna be stinker as I read the plot summary. Really, you could find better acting watching Power Rangers. For B-Movie afficionados this ranks right up there with Killer Tomatoes


Title: Troll II
Post by: Dan on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
Check the Troll 2 Music video out:

http://www.tedel.com/media/video/Hunger%20Pains.avi


Title: Troll II
Post by: MattyD on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
Troll 2 is the kind of all B-Movies.  No movie is as poorly and well delivered as this absolute Gem.  

The scripting is terrible, the execution of effects is hillarious, but I aboslutely adore this movie.  God bless you Italian Soft Core Porn directors for making this visual-bible.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Sheba on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Okay, so I just bought the Troll/Troll2 DVD tonight. The original Troll was one of my childhood favorites (I watched it every chance I got; when I was ten and we got cable, that was twice a day for a month on HBO), and I was anxious to watch it again. It was as good (and bad) as I remembered it. I'd never seen Troll 2, but I'd heard it was pretty rank.

I had no idea. I mean really. A couple of previous posters said it made them literally physically ill... I thought I was going to have a seizure. The halted dialogue... I swear, listening to the teenagers talk was like watching some painful school play. And the dad had to have been some sort of caveman. I haven't seen acting so awful since... well, since ever. Maybe I've led a sheltered life.

Honestly, I couldn't tell whether it was the actors' deliveries that were at fault or some seriously sh***y writing. I've made movies better than this, and I've made some seriously BAD movies (ah, the high school years; how I'll treasure them).

I'll have to watch this again, with some alcohol and several of my close friends. You know, share the tortu-- I mean, love.


Title: Troll II
Post by: WitchKing on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I very nearly laughed myself to death when I saw this.  Every moment is more eye-openingly insane than the next.  This script could only have come from an untreated head injury.  Too many jaw-droppingly hilarious moments to name them all.  My two faves are when the mother tells the stupid kid to forget about his grandfather's ghost and has him sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and when the kid p**ses on the dinner table to save his family.  Troll II.  Long may it live.


Title: Troll II
Post by: CourtneyC on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM
Oh MAN, one of the greatest films ever made. And I mean that in the following way: if great movies make you laugh so hard you pee, and you and your friends can giggle over them together days later, and you love it so much you actually special order the DVD for a friend...then this was a great one.

Nilbog. Classic. No, wait. Better than classic. HAHAHA I can't even think about it without guffawing. Oh man. heh.


Title: Troll II
Post by: Zack on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
  I have seen this movie.  And I have told my friends about it... a lot of them just plain cracked up at "The goblins are monsters that make you eat something that turns you into a plant thing, which they end up eating because (obviously) they're vegitarions".


Title: Troll II
Post by: Jimbo on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM
Joshua has a myspace site!

http://tinyurl.com/jhqwm


Title: Troll II
Post by: MAX ALAN ZOLLER on February 22, 2006, 06:30:43 AM
I saw this yesterday...hahahahahaha! For the entire film I tried to think who was the best actor. I struggled. Maybe the kid...no... The worst must have been the mother, thank god she got eaten in the end. Row row row yer boat!


Title: Troll II
Post by: Brandon McMahan on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM
I just saw this last night, and boy was I ever impressed.  Such an amazingly beautiful film.  Cinematic orgasms like this one make turds like Citizen Kane look even more like turds like Citizen Kane.  If you truly want to be touched on an emotional level hitherto found only in deep personal meditation, and the reading of the Lord's word, you really need to see this film.  A masterpiece from beginning to end.  Every character, every camera angle, every subtle nuance of the musical score... perfectly accenting one another to make a movie experience you will never forget.  I just wish I had some doughnuts with green dogs**t smeared all over them, so my constipated son could p**s on them, and when I carried upstairs on my shoulder, my wife would yell behind me "Please don't hit 'im!"  and when I got in my room I could give a speech about you "Don't p**s on hospitality"  I'd also tighten my belt one notch to stave off the hunger pangs.  You know... since I didn't get to eat the dogs**t doughnut.  


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: CALLUM SANDERSON on April 21, 2007, 12:32:21 PM

"Never mind her...DRINK YOUR BROTH!"
"Open your mouth my little friend."
"We were just givin' him some ice cream."
"Is that the voice of your dead grandfather?"..."yeeessss!"
"Green...the color of sap!" (Sap is green?)

Suffice to say, every line of diologue is a work of art. Brava Nilbog...brava Troll 2.

THE COLOUR OF THE GOBLINS, THE COLOUR OF SAP

the goblins were white as well :P
and then he says'' and then she appaerd to him, what she realy was, horrible and mocking''
changed into what granpa? ''half man, half plant, the goblins favroute food!''
I NEVER SAW HER TURN INTO HALFPLANT HALF MAN, IT WAS PETER, BUT HE WAS CLEARY TALKIN ABOUT HER ;P
TROLL1 WAS BETTER, BUT I LIKE THE FEEL TO TROLL, WHEN THERE IN CAR DRIVE PAST MOUNTIANS AND THE MUSIC, ITS HARD TO THINK THAT TOROK ON TROLL1 was in the same universe as that heh
i like when the drug/general store guy, pops from behind curtian, he rocked, his teeth and eyes when he said R U FEELING ALRIGHJT? lol
and the goblins [and that werid headed old women] OPEN UR MOUTH MY LITTLE FRIEND hehe

sheriff gene freak '' HAHA THE GIRLS'' i love that part,
notice the goblins at the end, were the presents, and the father said ''want some.. joshua'' in torok type voice ;p


the country, redneck, hillbilly music was cool to  :drink: :hot:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: rekooh nilbog on January 21, 2008, 11:02:05 AM
When I started seeing clips from this cinematic gem on YouTube, I thought it was a hoax. Amazingly so, I turned on the television last week and saw this movie in full. It is profound in its horrifically bad production. I recall a home video of my sister picking and flicking her nose that had better aesthetic potential than this drivel.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: HarlotBug3 on March 21, 2008, 12:40:43 PM
HO. LEE. HELL!

Granted, the script DID apparently come from someone writing in english as a second languge, but seriously, this must be one of the worst movies ever made in any context.

To it's credit, if this movie won't make you laugh at badness, nothing will.

I can't wait to subject other people to it :hot:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Dogsledder on April 11, 2008, 03:06:22 AM
 :hatred:
  Oh great God in his South Coast Heaven!!!
  I thought I'd put this unquestionably sickening mess behind me. Forgotten. But no. Rising from the depths of my memory like a double pack (Troll 1 and 2) from a K mart discount bin held in my wifes hand. Knowing I'm about to be forced into watching another movie destined for Beer coster hood. Bloody 1000 corpses (see Howling III post 18).
  Even I couldn't have forseen what mediocraty lay ahead.
  It may be cruel and unusuall punishment, but I forced her to watch BOTH! One after the other. Without beer.
  That'll learn ya.
M


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: monoceros4 on April 29, 2008, 01:20:54 AM
Even Rifftrax couldn't make this watchable for me.  It's such an ugly movie--unattractive characters both in looks and personality, horrible dialog delivered in a way that made me cringe, and gross "special" effects.  Seeing one or two people turn into green goo (there's more slime in this movie than in Ghostbusters II) was enough for me, and when it was plain that the movie was going to give me lots more of it at nauseating length, I had to switch it off.  Maybe I am a little squeamish; the sequence near the end of The Fountain when Hugh Jackman turns into a plant from inside out still creeps me out when I think about it.  In any case, I felt like wanting to take a shower after Troll II, which even the The Incredible Melting Man couldn't do, even though it's got slime scenes almost as gross.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Torque2100 on July 14, 2008, 09:11:29 PM
Believe it or not, this movie scared the CRAP out of me when I was a little kid.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Kent Jones on September 20, 2008, 11:25:10 PM
It's been a long, long time since I've seen this movie, but for some reason it has stuck in my mind. Unlike other B-movies, this is the bad kind of stuck. I guess it scarred me for life. I'm glad I can finally "exercise these demons." Where do I start? The kid p**sing on the food (that looks suspicious to begin with. I have no idea why anyone would eat that crap), the never-ending streams of uninteresting green blood, the sign being spelled backwards (as if you couldn't figure it out), and the fact that they actually made a sequel to Troll. This is not a guilty pleasure movie, it's just guilty.


Uh oh. Jim doesn't like the movie.
(http://home.maine.rr.com/mattyg/wambulance.jpg)


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: InformationGeek on September 21, 2008, 12:09:34 PM
I like to make a statement about this film.  I saw 2 parts of this film when I was about... maybe 5 or 6.  I saw the part where the girl dissolves into that green plantstuff and that totally freaked me out.  When I look at it now... it looks so stupid.  The last part of the film I saw was when the goblins were scared by the baloney sandwich.  Even when I was that young, I thought that was idiotic and dumb.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Eegah on October 20, 2009, 07:56:56 PM
Troll 2 deserves four slime drops  :bluesad:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Corbin A. on June 07, 2010, 01:41:06 AM
I was so upset with this movie until about ten minutes in when I found that I couldn't stop laughing. Insanely over-the-top acting or unenthusiastic mono-tone dribble, lines worse than Ninja Turtles III, that kid's face, no trolls, simply retarded characters, absolutly atrocious monologue from the witch, hating on vegans, etc.

I had to start a new section in my movie collection for this. The "So bad, you have to," section.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: Kathy on August 01, 2010, 12:06:15 PM
Thing is, even if this film had been made in a competent manner....decent dialogue, okay acting....it would still suck.

It's a film about creatures who eat people (which should be creepy enough) but first they have to fool them into eating or drinking something that will turn them into plant life because actual meat will kill them....

Meanwhile, they're out in the sticks surrounded by actual plant life and farms full of vegetables and stuff they could be eating.....stuff that doesn't fight back.

W.....T.....F!!!!!!!

 :lookingup:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: BoyScoutKevin on February 16, 2011, 05:38:00 PM
Why didn't this happen to me, when I was growing up?

"Troll 2"
Boy has hot sex with hot woman.

"Private Lessons"
Boy has hot sex with hot woman.

"Lair of the White Worm"
Bpy has hot sex with hot woman.

What did I do wrong? I was a good boy. LOL!

While this is a bad film. Maybe one of the worst ever made, I do admire the filmmakers boldness in having a boy who is under 19, or seems to be under 19, having sex with an adult woman. Most filmmakers would shy away from a scene like that for obvious reasons. Indeed, the three films named above--and two of them are European, whose attitudes toward sex are somewhat more liberal than American attitudes towardd the same subject--are the only times I have seen such a scene.


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: venomx on May 17, 2011, 10:37:01 AM
I finally watched Troll 2 yesterday! I loved it! :smile:

Note. IMO I think you REALLY need to be a fan of 'BAD movies' to enjoy it. :wink:

PS. I wish I had the soundtrack! :twirl:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: bob on December 22, 2011, 06:55:38 AM
you can't p**s on hospitality, I won't let you  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Troll II
Post by: InformationGeek on December 22, 2011, 09:35:49 AM
you can't p**s on hospitality, I won't let you  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Acutally, it is "I won't allow it!"  How dare you butcher that great line!   :tongueout: