Badmovies.org Forum

For this post, I am not going to nitpick the reality and plausibility flaws of films or TV shows, but those of TV commercials.

I really find it both funny and annoying when a TV commercial shows a product doing more than what it can do for real.  I feel these kinds of commercials mislead the general public.  Advertising companies that make these commercials should be shut down for making these bogus claims.

I mean take for instance the commercials for Tag body spray products.  In the commercials, a young man either uses the product or has used it.  Then some women are mindlessly attracted to him.  When I was grocery shopping one time, I decided to see if Tag body spray could really do this.  I went to the health and beauty aisle where all the deodorants were kept and found Tag.  I waited til there were a significant number of women there.  About ten minutes later, I saw a group of women browsing the shampoos and conditioners.  So I removed the body spray from its packaging, sprayed a little on my shirt, recapped and repackaged it and walked by these women nonchalantly.  Guess what happened?  Did they turn to me and run after me?  Hardly.  Did they woo at me?  Nope.  They hardly noticed me!
The only person that did notice me was the cashier.  When I went to pay for all my groceries, she commented "You shouldn't use so much deodorant."  So those Tag body spray commercials were nothing but FRAUD!!!  Tag body spray is about as effective as those pheromones sold on the internet.   :hatred:

Another product commercial I find a little humorous are beer commercials.  The only beer I drink is Sam Adams Chocolate Bok beer.  But a few of these commercials show things like guy drinking the product then instantly, they are in a party!!!  A party full of girls, games, music and dancing.  I mean, I think this is possible.  But it wouldn't happen after just one sip of beer.  If you drink a lot of beer, there's no telling what you'll perceive.  A drunk person may see a party where there is none.  I've had some experiences with drunks.  My hobby is to torment them.  But I guess getting drunks or alcoholics to sell your product would be a bad idea.  Just as it would be a bad idea to get chain smokers and lung cancer patients to sell your products if you're a cigarette company.   :drink:

Other commercials I find humorous are car commercials.  Many of these commercials show cars doing things they cannot possibly do under any circumstances.  Like running at speeds they cannot run at, not without serious modifications.  Or running over terrain that would do serious damage to any car.  Or showing extreme nimbleness by avoiding difficult obstacles while being driven by a stunt driver.  I swear, why do advertisers have to mislead the public?  I don't find these ridiculous commercials at all inspiring.  I find them stupid and laughable.  Do ad companies actually expect the general public to do these things to cars when they buy them?  Cars are limited in what they can do by many factors, including their design and the skills of their drivers.

Um, if they din't exaggerate the effectiveness of the product in an entertaining light it would be an infomercial, not a commercial.

C-could it? Please continue!
IDIOT! Don't you watch the commercials? You're lucky to still be a virgin!
Okay.
You must have gotten a defective can, maybe it's just you, but don't worry, we'll always love you!
Yes, I think you must be quite detatched from reality to believe that TAG body spray did all that.
Umm, I think most commercials depict them as at a party already  Yes, that is what many parties consist of, or raves...
Beer isn't a hallucinogen :question:
What do you do, draw mustaches on their faces?
Much of that is to glorify the product, in that way, I suppose I agree with you.
To show what the car's limit is, not to show what it will do, but to show what it could do.

WW, I like many of these threads and some points inside, but when you are trying to find an example for something off the wall ridiculous/impossible, don't use ads, there are just some things they depict that are so obviously put there to glorify the product that it's quite obvious that they know just as well as we do that such things don't happen.

Love it Mr. Briggs....Penn and Teller need you.

That is awesome...funny stuff.

So THATS who drew a moustache  on me after a bender!

Ok, you wanna hear what I do to torment drunks?  Well it all depends on the situation and where I encounter them.  But I don't always torment them, I'll sometimes do nice things to them or I'll test them to see what they can do while drunk.  Here are a few stories:

I was on vacation in Atlanta GA.  I passed by a police station then I saw a drunk staggering towards me.  So I decided to have a little fun with him.  When He staggered close enough to me I told him "Hey, they are having sobriety tests in here!"  He looked at me and scratched his head.  I told him "They are having free sobriety tests in there."  He said to me "So what?"  Then I said to him, "Look they are doing free sobriety tests in there.  And if you pass, you'll get a free stay at the Hard Rock Hotel!"  Then he slapped his forehead and said "Ah yes, that's for me!"  And as he staggers up the steps to the police station,  I told him "Don't forget to tell them you drove here!:  He said "Okie-doke!"

Another time when I was walking home after a night at the nightclub, I saw a drunk passed out on a bench in front of a 7-11.  I decided to do something nice for him.  I went to the 7-11, bought a large coffee and put it in his hand.

Another night when I was hainging out in front of my home, I saw a drunk stagger by.  I new this guy as a neighbor.  So I decided to test him.  So I ran up to him and made a little bet with him.  I betted him $20 that he couldn't walk around the block on his hands.  He accepted my little challenge, though it took a little while for him to actually get standing on his hands.  I followed him as he walked around the block on his hands.  It was the best $20 I ever spent!

You MUST be kidding, if not, definite lol! In an off-the-wall sort of way I guess :smile:

You're using the wrong product, I had on some Old Spice after shave, walked into Starbucks and to my surprise and dismay the 2 female barristas ran out from behind the counter and started tearing my clothes off, fortunately my wife was there to protect me.
  You know now that I think about it you may be right, Old Spice doesn't work on my wife, maybe I should try Tag, or maybe Enzyte, the product for natural male enhancement, gave Bob a big new swing of confidence, or maybe Bod spray, or maybe, just maybe your brain does not share the same reality as the rest of us.

Heh, I put on a splash of Old Spice and look how many children I have now.  Heck, I think this latest one was conceived on the steps.

(If Katie sees this thread, it could be amusing.  Fortunately, I am a light sleeper.)

Sorry but I don't believe one word of that claim.  You're not fooling me.  I have never seen Tag body spray do in real life what it does in the commercials.

As for Enzyte, that doesn't attract women either.  And unlike the commercials, it won't make you grin like a moron.  Enzyte is nothing more than an enhancer for a certain part of the male anatomy.

I'm not sure why we even debate wether or not you are serious.  There is absolutely no way you are.  This stuff is just too good.

The thing that irritates me is the Tag commercial where the guy is going to his girlfriend's house wearing it, and her mom super comes on to him. 

Imagine if the gender's had been reversed and it had been a teenage girl's boyfriend's father.  Would that have been as acceptable?

Old Spice is actually a pretty good cologne.
A few girls will say that it makes you smell like an old man, but most love its masculine scent.

I currently use Curve cologne spray and Spirit by Antonio Banderas.
Girls love their scents.   :thumbup:

Taken completely out of context, that sentence alone makes this whole thread worthwhile.

LOL ulthar!
It never occured to me that sentence could have a double meaning when I wrote it.
Too funny!   :teddyr:

By the way Wyre...you want a TV commercial with a serious reality flaw?

WATCH THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fA8ad71n94&eurl=)

OR HOW 'BOUT THIS? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hqqKbpT07Y)

Here are some products you may want to test before you assume they do exactly what the commercials suggest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn7PtQgrf_o (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn7PtQgrf_o)

I should also mention the sad event some now call the "Old Spice Star Blazers Incident."

I accidentally splashed on too much of this highly-effective woman-attracting solution one night.  Already late to meet with some friends at the movies, I rushed out without doing what I could to reduce the dosage.

Upon entering the mall, I was suddenly surrounded by a mob of women.  They clung to me, just like the asteroids stuck to the Argo in that one episode of "Star Blazers" where they pull in asteroids with magnetic rockets to camouflage and shield the space battleship while making critical repairs.

Soon, too many women were stuck to me and some started running in circles around the central mass, looking for an open place to touch my heavily-cologned body.  (Again, just like in the "Star Blazers" episode.)  These rapidly circling women were not looking where they were going and began to impact on other mall visitors.  Other men moved away from the danger zone, but women, unable to resist my Old Spice lure, continued to run directly at me.  Very few were able to pass through the existing outer ring of spinning women without causing a collision.  The carnage was terrible.

Since that day, I have always sworn to use Old Spice in a responsible manner.

(No idea why writing this caught my fancy.  Maybe I will make it into a Random Thought.).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTjTnjUftQw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTjTnjUftQw) Speaking of orbit, try some gushers WW!

Actually I think this might make a fairly decent movie, I can see it now, they try to take over the world by infiltrating into our bodies as carbonated orange juice, the title could be, The Creatures from the Black Hole of the Orange Tree Nebula, starring Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta, with a special guest appearance by George Kennedy of course. Screenplay by the Church of Scientology.

I had no idea Old Spice had that kind of power. It must work differently on the guy at work who uses too much, it makes him, a married man, give out his phone number to any female who is even remotely attractive. Plus I'm told it's the deo of choice for big time pot smokers who want to mask the scent. This guy's definitely a member of that club.

Years ago, I was told that the combo of Drakkar Noir and Marlboro cigarettes would drive women crazy, like the effect in the TAG ads. A girl I knew said she and several of the girls she worked with were all trying to jump the bones of the guy they worked at Krystal with who used those two products. She even said he wasn't that attractive, but the scent did something to them. Then again they did work at Krystal so all bets were off.

I feel cheated that when I eat Mentos, groups of really attractive people don't appear and get in stupid, wacky mini-adventures while grinning like lobotomized idiots. I miss out on all that pretty, happy lighthearted fun. Boo hoo.

I'm hoping, just hoping that if I get a T-Mobile cell phone Catherine Zeta-Jones will appear. Don't care about the phone so much, but if it'll act as CZJ bait, I sign the damn contract.

How come when I buy Mike's Hard Lemonade aliens don't come parachuting from the sky to kidnap pretty women in the parking lot? Loved that commercial, wish it still aired.

Is there really a rash of lynching parties for old-fashioned chuck wagon drivers who use salsa made in New York City (NEW YORK CITY!!!) instead of Pace?

Edit to fix spelling after the fact. Missed one.

You mean commercials are not real? Wow. Now I can safely drink Kool-Aid without fear of a giant, smiling pitcher of the stuff with arms and legs coming crashing through the nearest wall...or sample a Slim Jim without pro wrestlers appearing out of nowhere.  :teddyr:

I wouldn't bet on it, brother.  Yeah!

Yaddo, you might be able to find some of those commercials on the web. I know that there is at least one website that maintains a database of commercials and quite a few seem to pop up on YouTube.

EDIT: adding more for Yaddo, without creating another post.

Damn you Yaddo for mentioning Krystal!  Now I want a sack full of tiny burgers...... :bluesad:

Go! Go Now! No matter how far it is or whatever reason you may have for not going, go anyway!

You, yes, you too may have a silly and pointless story about how much you love Krystals or something that's supposed to be wacky or unusual that happens to you on the way to Krystal. Then you could tell Krystal about it and you could star in a stupid commercial reenacting your story.

Can you tell I've seen a lot of these? The one about the guys who go to a combo Krystal/gas station who are running on fumes but go through the drive through first only to run out of gas and have to push their truck to the window is a particular "favorite" of mine.

Plus if WyreWizard were to see it, he could attack the ad as unrealistic and unbelievable, and you could reveal yourself as the source of this true Krystal tale.

Then his universe would collapse upon itself.

Yaddo,

Oh I wish I could.  You have no idea.

I live in North Carolina and to my knowledge there are no Krystals in the state.  I have family down in Georgia, near Atlanta and I always make Krystals a priority while I'm down there.  Those burgers are addictive...their little buns....tiny onions...........yum!

There are a couple in Asheville, but that's clear on the other side of the state from you, isn't it?

The closest one to me is about 1500 miles away. Needless to say, I have never sampled them.

I never even heard of Krystals until this thread. I though you guys where talking about a strip club  :smile:

Far as I know none here in NYC.

You and me both rich, though I'm hoping the fact that I have an entire ocean seperating me from this mythical place of 'sacks full of burgers' is a good thing not an old one.

I have to admit that a sack full of tiny burgers does sound oddly fascinating...

Rich, I've never had White Castle burgers, but I'm told Krystals are very similar. Once upon a time, I read an article about the White Castle/Krystal rivalry. White Castle was mostly in the northern states, Krystal being a southern staple. Supposedly the only place they both had stores in was Nashville, TN. Wikipedia say they also overlap in Kentucky.

They sell frozen White Castle "sliders" in the grocery stores here, but I haven't tried them. Figured I'd wait for the real thing.

Dean, check out the Wikipedia article on Krystal or go to the Krystal website www.krystlco.com (http://www.krystlco.com) for a better idea of the burgers.

As a kid I loved them, now I need a large drink to choke down more than one, they stick in my throat. But they are popular still in the American South. And their chili cheese fries are very popular where I live.

Well I tried to keep to the topic of commercials, and opened a whole new can of worms.

I could'nt figure out what Krystal's was either.The only Krystal's being cooked in this neck of the woods are the kind idiots blow up their house or barns with.
But White Castle...MMMMMMMM!Used to eat them by the bagful in NYC.
I always loved the tiny Chuck Wagon cowboys leading the dog to his food ad!
And the little Tidy Bowl man.
Anyone remember Frankenstien busting into the store for Shasta pop?

I always wanted the dog to catch the chuckwagon, and terrorize and eat the tiny riders and the horses, like a dog version of kaiju.

Used to wonder why Charlie the Tuna wanted to be in Starkist Tuna so bad. Was he suicidal? Sorry Charlie, we'll let you live another day..............

Has anyone expeirianced strange phenomonom with margrine? Like crowns magically appearing on they're heads after eating toast? Or a tub of Parkay back talking you. Or Mother Nature going on a rampage for her confusion between oleo and butter?Do you and your spouse use your hands to communicate when discussing the joys of Country Crock?

Sadly too far away from me.  I'm right on the coast here in NC.




Rich,

You and Dean are missing out.  Krystal burgers are just about the same as White Castle.  The burgers are really strange when you first eat one.  It's just a small bun with a thin square slice of "not quite brown" meat.  But it's covered in delicious onions and mustard and such.  They are quite good.

If I'm not mistaken, you can buy a sack of like 12 burgers for around (or less than) $10.00.

Thanks for the info Yaddo. Didn't know it was a White Castle type place or their was a rivalry. People here don't really like White Castle its consider one of lower fast food places or a "gulity pleasure". It was to mine until I got a stomach virus off of it.

No problem rich. The cheapness is part of the appeal of Krystal's. Kids seem to like them because they are the right size for little hands to handle on their own. We used to brag how few bites we could eat one in when I was little, later it was how many you could eat in one sitting.

Also the stores or the drive-thrus at most are open around the clock, so they're popular with third shifters, college students, drinkers heading home after the clubs and bars close, and folks with the munchies. Locally until Mickey D's started having some drive-thrus open 24 hours, Krystal's was often your only late night eating option except for the sit down greasy spoon diners like Waffle House, various local places, and the trucker places on the highway on the outskirts of town.

I used to wonder if the Parkay tub screamed in pain when people took scoops out of him. Or felt rejected when he was empty and then thrown out.  Since we used them like poor folks Tupperware, maybe they didn't feel so bad.

And those Country Crock people were annoying.

Skaboi what you said about the Krystals its excatly the same as White Castle. Small square burgers with onions.

Yaddo, its the same as White Castle is one the only place (besides corner stores) open 24 hours usually college student or drinkers heading home etc.......

Its like Bizzaro World..........

Well, this is the first I've ever heard of Krystal's. I've been seeing ads for White Castle (on cable) since the early eighties, but I've never actually seen one. :bluesad:

They still have a Tasty Freeze in Monterey, & I once passed by a Roy Roger's on a trip to Baltimore. :lookingup:

Back when I lived in Houston, I used to frequent Jack In The Box, but they don't have any her in Central VA. :bluesad: They used to have some here back in the '70s, but they got closed down after they got caught making burgers with what was first thought to be horse meat, but later turned out to be kangaroo meat. :buggedout:

As for misleading TV ads, the two that stick out in my mind would be those ones for a soft drink, where someone would fill up their glasses, but the ice cubes would keep all the soda on one side of the glass, then they would fill up the other side, and this ad for LifeSavers, in which this monster that runs around licking things, & sticks his tongue through the hole of a Lifesaver. I tried very hard for many years trying to fill up one side of a glass, & stick my tongue through the hole of a lifesaver, to no avail. :tongueout:

And don't get me started on Marathon Bars & Bit o' Honey.

TASTY FREEZE!!!! WE got One!!! I thought it was a regional thing in Michigan! TasteeFreeze is good cheap stuff!Does anbody else got Chiken Coop?

 I've never had any of this stuff happen to me in real life, however once when I was replacing the flapper valve on the toilet tank I found a little guy in a motorboat in the tank.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually seen or heard of anyone suffering a Big Mac attack.
I dunno, maybe they found a cure for it. I've been told cowbell has certain therapeutic properties.

Now, that campaign to allow Silly Rabbit his God given right to indulge in the occasional bowl of Trix... That was just an insult to democracy as we know it.

The Michelin Man was driving in the lane next to me while I was speeding down the highway in my car yesterday.
I cut him off and then he passed me honking his horn the entire time.

He gave me the finger... :buggedout:

(http://www.badyear.com/images/cartoons/michelin-man.jpg)

I have another one...Do your arms fall off while your mowing the lawn ?( This is one of those "got milk commercials". I love that one....It shocked the heck out of me the first time I saw it.

I didn't sleep very well last night and when I was walking down the hall to get a drink, I swear I saw Abraham Lincoln and a talking beaver playing chess in the kitchen.

Then again, they could have just been part of the crowd of thousands of people - including fleet of helicopters and satellites - that follow me around everywhere I go. They're just my mobile phone network.

However, one thing I know for sure is that Will Farrell is not part of that crowd, yet there he was standing in my living room when I walked in today. Turns out my Netflix movie had arrived and was waiting for me at home.

 :teddyr:

 I walked into traffic,and got hit by a truck. All of a sudden I heard a musical chorus..."WOO-HOO,WOO HOO HOO!"And An heavenly Voice telling me how stupid I was.

    The other morning I took a bite of buttered toast and ended up on a gondala in Venice with Fabian. Hubby had to hurry up and use some drain cleaner so the clog could fly for miles and hit Fabian in the face making him fall into the water, deep,deep beneath, searching for the Excidren. All in all it made for an eventful morning.  :smile:

Who the hell is Fabian?

  :lookingup: Oops...I made a Boo Boo..It's Fabio.he  he he.

Fabian the old pop idol?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabian_%28entertainer%29 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabian_%28entertainer%29)

I thought she meant Fabio, the romance novel cover model with a flying avian magnet in his nose. According to Wikipedia he's done ads for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spread and an insurance commercial where he's rowing a gondola. One of those people who's been famous for being famous longer than he was famous for dloing anything, basically modelling.

To attract women, I've always found that the scent of hundred dollar bills works best.  Just be sure to leave a couple of them sticking halfway out of your pocket.

One thing I can't stand are the jewelry commercials.  Apparently, rather than being a kind and loving husband, wives will only go for you if you give them expensive trinkets.  Get her a diamond necklace and she'll sleep with you; isn't that kinda like prostitution?  :question:

(conversely, to get women to hang out with you only requires beer.)  :cheers:

Bloom County (the comic strip) had a good strip about this one day.  Opus goes to pick out a modest ring for Lola, but ends up walking home with a diamond the size of a soccer ball. 

I gleefully point out that Beast's human form, from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" was obviously influenced by Fabio.  It was around that time.  You know, over the years, a lot of women have gone splooter over men had better hair than them.

Don't forget Fabio's album.

I think Susan posted a link to it once a while back.  It was really funny, but I do worry about her sometimes if that's what she spends her time listening to...

And here's the answer:   Women are human beings with complex brains and thought patterns.
No smell can ever make a woman mindlessly attracted to anything.  Some smells can make them hungry and some can make them drawn to certain flowers or plants.
I mean to say that a cologne can make a woman mindlessly attracted to you means she ignores what she sees and hears and is drawn to you by your scent alone.  I mean, take this scenario into consideration guys.  You are blindfolded and your ears are plugged.  You are directed to smell 4 women.  Now without seeing or hearing the voices of any of these women, would you be attracted to any of them?
Also, take this into consideration.  You see a woman and she is HOT HOT HOT!!! But her personality leaves a lot to be desired.  She is nasty, curses a lot, has problems with road rage and anger control.  She would throw her fists at any person who dares to cross her.  But she's beautiful, golden blonde hair, deep tan, nice large breasts, nicely rounded tail(my word for butt) and almost an hourglass figure.  Would you be attracted to her?  I mean, seriously, would you?
Colognes are really icing on the cake.  I mean, how many of you guys out there plan for a date by dressing up, styling your hair, trimming your beards and staches and throwing a little splash of cologne?  When a girl comes knocking on your door, does she greet you with a pleasant smile and a warm hello?  Or is she silent for a few seconds with a mindless stare in her eyes then suddenly knocks you down to make love to you?  I very seriously doubt the second scenario happens.
Colognes just help set the mood.  How you look and behave to a woman is more likely to attract her to you than how you smell to her.
Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight.  Sexual attraction at first sight is more realistic.  Nobody falls in love with a person simply by how they look.  They fall more in love with a person based on their personalities and any common interests they have.  Falling in love develops gradually, not instantly.  If it did, life wouldn't be very interesting.
If you guys are wondering how you can attract a woman, get to know her first.  I mean its like in my novel Tales of Ancient Xenar: Warrior's Lore "Knowledge is the greatest power of all."  The more you know about a certain woman and the more she knows about you, the more likely something can develop.
I remember reading the stuff from a guy named Ross Jeffries, developer of Speed Seduction.  Basically what Speed Seduction says is "Be a jerk to all women.  Women are attracted to bad boys."  Frankly, I find that ridiculous and stupid.  It seems to assume all women are masochists.  While women may like something different, I highly doubt they would like something that would hurt them.
Now I'll admit I've been attracted to many women.  Now it wasn't their smell that drew me to them because most of them lived hundreds of miles from me.  And while they were drop-dead gorgeous, it wasn't their looks that drew me.  It was their personalities.

Erm...the "bad boy" issue isn't as simple as "all women love bad boys." Yes, many of us go through a phase, but most of us get sick of how irresponsible, unreliable, self-centered and potentially abusive "bad boys" tend to be. The women who never learn tend to have their attraction to these people stem from deep psychological issues.

If you're gonna rail on Axe for "false advertising", why not go after that one ad they had where their product turned the guy into a creepy chocolate monstrosity? I mean, you'd think being turned into chocolate and having an immobile face is bad enough, but the poor guy got freakin' mauled by random women! Axe: it'll make women want to literally eat you alive.

Yes, I know what you're talking about.  That one Axe commercial with a chocolate scent that turned that guy into a walking chocolate candy man.  I laughed at every scene of that commercial.  He goes to women they eat parts of him and he's able to regrow his anatomy in later scenes.  One scene I got a laugh from was when he was giving that girl in the hospital a little gift, his fingers.  She laughed at him.  Towards the end he's walking by a fitness center with a few dozen women are practicing aerobics and they all flock to the window.  He waves to them.  Then a girl on a car speeds by and breaks off his waving arm.  He waves at her with his other arm.

I think Axe was buying into a theory that chocolate does arouse women sexually.  However, I think this is only partly true.  Chocolate may arouse women, if its EATEN, not smelled.