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Today is Elvis's birthday, the King would've been 72 today if he was still around.


Thank you very much!

What do you mean, if he was still around?  You're not another one of those whacko people that believes the King could have died on a toilet, are you?  I have seen him lately while vacationing on St. Kitts.  He was riding a jetski and petting dolphins.

No he was working at a fast food joint in the midwest. He looked a little silly with those hair nets pulled down far enough to cover his pork chop sideburns, but there was no mistaking those sunglasses and turned up collar.

No way.  He's on board the UFO that was spotted near Chicago the other week.

Actually he has faked his demise and is currently living in Red Mountain, California, runs a saloon/restaurant called the Silver Dollar.

What if he was on board the UFO, with dolphins (who own the thing), as the short order cook who wears muttonchops?

And maybe the dolphins keep the UFO inside of Red Mountain, CA.  (That is a mountain, right?  With my luck it is a flat section of desert.)

The King is just biding his time killing mummies, until his glorious return as a guest judge on American idol.  :teddyr:

Red Mountain is A large hill (don't tell the residents I said that) that turns red each evening at dusk. The Silver Dollar is the first thing on the west side of highway 395 as you go north, if you blink at the city limits sign you miss the whole town. Elvis lives on the east side of 395 directly across from the saloon, the wife and I spent a very pleasant afternoon there, in spite of the biker group that showed up about 1:00 PM. If you're ever in the area drop in and say hi to the king and Miss Kitty.

Taking into consideration Mr. Presley's weight gain prior to his "disappearance", his delight in sharing the spoils of his success, & varied sightings that claim he has since grown a beard, it's my belief that The King had, in fact, assumed the title of Santa Claus, as was established in movies such as "The Santa Clause" and "Ernest Saves Christmas".

"If you don't think Elvis was The King, baby I feel sorry for you,
 'cause if you don't think he was number one, then you're full o' number two." - Webb Wilder

"No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home." Love that line.

Like my dad said when those audio tapes were being sold on TV in the 80s that were claimed to be actual recordings of phone calls Elvis made from hiding. Why would you ever fake your death in such an embarrassing way? Even if people buy it, you become an even bigger (no pun on fried-bananer sammich eating Fat Elvis intended) laughing stock than you had become by that time anyway. With time and planning available, you'd fake it in a way that would convince people you were really gone if you wanted to stay hidden, not one bound to inspire conspiracy theories among the faithful and the cranks. Those people would turn up anyway, why encourage them?

But yeah, he might be 72 now, if he hadn't of keeled over at a later date from the same things that did do him in to begin with, or from something unrelated just to play into the concept of fate. Same with Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin, Houdini, George Gershwin, Lenny Bruce, Karen Carpenter, River Phoenix, the Kennedys, MLK or any other gone "too young" celebrity or public figure.

Maybe he would have changed his ways if he had lived longer, or he might have died on tour six months later. Or from a series of heart attacks two years and 40 more pounds later. Or from a brain aneurysm during a fit of anger watching the "nice beaver" gag in the first Naked Gun film in the 80s. Or killed in an ugly incident by Michael Jackson's bodyguards trying to prevent Jackson's wedding to Lisa Marie. At least it would have been for a noble cause.

I remember that Webb Wilder line, they use to play the hell out of him on WKDF in Nashville years ago. Also makes me wish I had a copy of "Elvis is Everywhere" by Mojo Nixon.