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Information Exchange => Movie Reviews => Topic started by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 04:31:18 PM



Title: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 04:31:18 PM
Hey everyone. I do very small reviews on a thread on other site I post at and only have been doing that for about a month now. So I wanted to bring my reviews over. It out of 5 stars. I will make updates often. So here it goes:

RoboCop:Prime Directives: Crash and Burn-This is 4 of 4 in the mini series the aired on Cable I think around 2000. Overall its not a bad series I( rented the other 3 before) and has a budget of say a Stargate/Outer Limts epsiode. It expands on Robocop and even has his son all grown up helping him. Plus the women helping Robocop is pretty fine.

Robocop fans should check this out.

3 stars.

Killer Condom- What a title. How can NOT see this? Well the story is very different. It Germany film taking place here in NYC. a gay NYPD Detective goes to investigates a Brothel after complaints of ummm.. guys penis getting ripped off. After a "softcore gay porn scene" a condom with teeth rips his right ball off (You don't see this thankfully)

Now he has to figure out how to stop the condoms.

Its a real fun movie and I don't want to spoil anything but if your homophobic it might make you feel dirty and you might want to stay away. Also a non tradtional B-movie as their no ladies in it and the main charater fall for a man rather than a women.

3 1/2 stars.

Brainiac- This is actually a remake of other z-grade movie. A new drug called Nirvana (Cool name) takes aways all type of feeling like Fear, Depression etc.. with no hangovers and such (Nothing beats Beer commies). Problem is turns you into a monster and makes you go after the sweet sweet tender brains of women.

Why does our brain sucking monster go after women? This the world of B-movies my friends Monsters always go after lovely ladies. (Actually a explanation is given but its stupid and mines cooler)

Its a very very low-budget movie. Nothing wrong with the story but its a bland and the acting passable and could be worse. Monster is alright again passable.

2 1/2 stars



Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 04:33:39 PM
Trancers- A 80s Sci-Fi cheese film that "borrows" from classic Sci-fi like Blade Runner and Terminator. A 25th century cop is sent to 1985 (Best year to go when it comes to time travel) to stop a bad guy from killing ancestors of important people. Also the bad guy can control weak minded people into becoming his minions.

A enjoyable flick and stars a young smoking hot Helen Hunt.

Their are also 7 sequels to this which is alot. Got rent the rest one of these days.

3 Stars 

Silent Night, Bloody Night- This is a early 70s slasher/thriller. A man in a small town dies and he leaves his house to his grandson but noones lives in the place for 20 years. Finally his grandson decieds to sell but when he does a crazy escapes a aslyum and takes refuge at the house.

first and formost the entire begininng and middle are boring as hell. The end though is pretty damn good storywise. Its head of its time as we find out some really nasty stuff was going down at the house and the town.Its a excellent twist that saves the movie from being total crap.

My version of the DVD was cut and some of deaths were edited out big time.

2 Stars. See this if you want to see were alot of the great ending in horror movies came from

Killer Tongue- Other weird one. A criminal couple is sepreated when the boyfriend goes to jail. The women waits for him and for no reason something from space fall into her soup and give her a tongue thats like size of a hose that talks, kills and thinks. Also her dogs that eat soup turn into they into humans that are "Flamboyant".

As you can tell their TONS of sexually undertones in this and some really cool scenes. One involes the tongue goes through some dudes head and than grabs other guys gear at the same time. Thats how friggn long that tongue is. If you liked this paragrph this is your movie. And of course it prefect for me. 

Ok confession: the real reason why I rented this becaue Melianda Clake was in it. You may know her as she's in the horrible show the O.C. (I guess it the older woman she plays as) and Soilder of Fortune and was in Return of the Living 3 and a Buffy epsiode.

As you can see I do like her and I mean she has a Killer Tongue in this movie. and she's just so smoking hot. And she where lots of tight gear.

3 Stars for Melinda Clake fans everyone else 2
 


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 04:36:20 PM
City of Rott- This is 2-D animated zombie movie. Think South Park type of art but more edge to it.

The story a city all infected with some sort of worm that turn people into zombie. A old guy who talks to his walker (and his walker talks to him) is looking for a new pair of shoes. Don't put this guy down he beats up tons and tons of zombies with that walker.

I know that sounds awesome but the novelty wear thin within 10 mintues. This would be good if it was a half a hour but this movie goes on hour and some change. Its pure torture. Theirs almost no other charaters and when their is you just don't care because they suck,no plot just wandering really and pretty bad voiceovers. And it just keeps going.

Theirs also heavy-handed, ham fisted social commentary about the evils of consumerism (Guess where they got that from) that will make you shoot yourself.

1 star. This why I'm here to warn you about stuff like this. It liking taking a bullet for someone

Frankenhooker(1990)- Classic B-movie trash. A armchair mad scientist wife gets killed by a lawnmower. To save her he presvers her head and goes to Manhattan in NYC to get parts from hookers (Because everyone knows hookers in NYC is the best in the country). He gets the parts and turns his wife into a rampaging prostuite!!! 

This movie is short, fast and to the point with no time to think. Its just a fun movie and cast looks like they were having a blast doing.
3 1/2 stars

Dead and Breakfast (2004)- A bunch of 20 somethings are going to a wedding in a RV. After they get lost they decied to stay at one of those house motels in a small hick town. One of the people at the house is found dead in and they all are forced to stay in the town. One of them wanders off in the house and unleash a demon who posses the town.

This a very good dark comedy with lots of funny scenes like making homemade shotguns a zombie/possesion bar fight it just great.

4 stars.

Tooth Fairy (2006)- This starts off somewhere in the past as a kid goes to this off "witchs" house to give his last tooth for a bike. But when does she brutally murders him. Fast foward to now when someone buys the property to set up a bed and breakfast and invites girlfriend and her kid to leave the city to be with him. The little girl meets a other little girl that tells her that the Tooth Fairy tale and she has to watch her mouth. (Zing!!)

As the title says this a modern day evil twist on the Tooth Fairy tale. She comes for your last tooth and well as you soul and puts in a music box with "three blind" mice song. Most of these types of movies fail miserable (Boogeyman comes to mind) But this ones pretty good. Its got a nice mix of kills using a nail gun and a woodchipper. Its modern movie with 80s horror sensablitiy.

3 /12 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 04:37:23 PM
Night Skies (2006)- 5 20 something in a RV(Wow 2 movies in a row involving RVs)crash and get stuck in the woods after their driver was paying attention to a bunch of lights in the sky and almost running down other man. One of their friends is hurt bad and the stranger they almost ran down named Richard (Hey thats my first name) helps them out. But weird thing start happening. They start hearing things in the woods and seeing things. Its looks like aliens......

The story is actually based on "The Phoenix Lights" story that happen back in 1997 when a bunch of places in Arizona start seeing lights in the sky. A guy who was found knocked out and in a half-coma told this elobrate tale under hypnosis about aliens and those people in the RV even though none of them were found.

Even though the story was obviously "Spiced Up" for the movie it still pretty good and scary. The charaters are interesting for the most part and atomsphere is tense and spooky. This how you do a low budget alien film.

4 stars (Have yet to give out 5 yet)

Habit (1997)- A guy who lives in NYC whos slipping toward being a alcoholic and father just dies and girlfriend just broke up with him goes to a halloween party and meets a women named Anna. After seeing her for awhile he starts notice something wrong with him as his health fades and blackouts (Like waking up in Battery Park after a sexually encounter with her and has a bite on his lip....Yeah thats happened to me before) . And as the movie progresses he gets worse and worse and she gets stranger and stranger.

You know when movies say their "Modern Day Vampire" flicks and its B.S.? Well not so with this film. It mixes Vampire Mythology with a modern backdrop almost flawess. It very subtle with her being a vampire for most of the film. As in one scene she asks she has to be invited in, how she only comes out at night (or before sundown) and how she pops out of nowhere. Seriously she pops out thin air and if she was my girl probably would have gave me 3 heart attacks. And she only wears black and red. Theirs also no vampire teeth and when it is shown at the end it all jagged and nasty.

With a strong supporting cast, a very good lead actress as a vampire and a locations in Manhattan that I hangout at (Like around 1st and 2nd aves ok I'm bias here) This is a very good indie vampire film that should be see by any vampire fan that wants to see somthing new. Even though the ending is kind of weak.

4 stars

Side note: If I every tell you guys that I meet a girl down in the Village that only comes out and night and wears a red leather jacket, a black dress with black and white striped thigh high socks and black high heels thats like to bite me: Don't stop me I know what I'm doing 


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Menard on February 11, 2007, 05:10:55 PM
Although I would tend to disagree with you slightly on Silent Night, Bloody Night (meaning I would rate it higher), I can see your point. Being what would have been original for its time having been repeated so many times since does lessen its impact for a more recent audience. The backstory in this, though, is what really grabbed me; particularly in the way in which it was presented.

I think a lot of earlier films do lose a lot from having elements of them repeated by others when they are seen after those elements are repeated. I did have the luck of seeing Silent Night, Bloody Night at the drive-in in 1980. If I had not seen it till now, well, I probably would not have liked it as much in retrospect either.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 11, 2007, 05:20:07 PM
The backstory was great but up until the end eveything felt like a generic slasher. I do understand it was a first for the time but it has been repeated ,for good or bad, for awhile now. I never did have a chance to see it in it prime so it did have a less impact on me.

Also thanks for taking interest in my reviews Menard. :thumbup:


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: CheezeFlixz on February 11, 2007, 05:36:39 PM
I perfer the short reviews you have here. :thumbup: I just read the thread on the recap of King Kong 1976 ... man I could have watched the movie in less time. But that's another thread.

Anyway ...

I'm a 'get to the point' is it worth seeing, pretty much what your doing from what I've read thus far. Some of them I haven't seen yet, so I'll have to give them a look-see.

Good job ...


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Andrew on February 11, 2007, 05:45:20 PM
"Frankenhooker" is a lot of fun.  I mean, you have exploding hookers and then he collects up all the extra body parts to rebuild his girlfriend.  She also has a hilarious way of grimacing once she is Frankenhooker.  I couldn't stop laughing over that.  Not to mention the legion of partially animated parts at the end.

"Killer Tongue" was viewed at just the wrong time.  I had recently watched "Saturn 3" - with all that extra Kirk Douglas butt.  So, when we had the sudden appearance of bare man butts in "Killer Tongue" I was caught off guard and seriously injured.  The one older guard or police officer naked was really unfortunate.

I did feel sorry for the nun dragging her bed and the convict dragging the jeep through the desert.

Man, that nun looked good once she was dressed the right way.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 15, 2007, 06:44:34 PM
Night Of the Demons(1988)- A bunch of teenagers on Halloween go have a party in a former funeral home with a nasty history. Of course everything hits the fan when two of the girls (the Goth hottie and her friend who is B- movie queen Linnea Quigley) get possesed and start knocking people off.

This is a standard B-movie. Blood, Nudity of some sort by all of the ladies and possesed people run amok. Its gotten very wooden acting and weird editng. Its entertaining but I feel like I seen it a dozen times by now but its good for a watch.

2 1/2 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 17, 2007, 09:01:41 PM
There's Nothing Out There (1991)- Theirs a recent thread about this by Skaboi and it took my interest so I bumped it up on my Netflix queue.

A bunch of teens (well 20s somethings playing as teens) go to a house that in the middle of nowhere. So you know what that means... A alien has come to impregnant the women and kill the men.

This may seem like a standard B-movie plot but it done in such a tongue in the cheek manner that it cut above. With crazy amount of nudity, charaters that acknowledge their in a movie, A well done alien and a charater Mike a guy who has seen every horror movie and know how to deal with the situation at hand and has dripping sarcasm makes this a great watch. Just wait to see the end its damn funny.

4 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 20, 2007, 09:59:49 PM
American Hardcore (2006)- a documentary based on the book about the rise and fall of Hardcore music in America from 1980 to about 1986. Through interviews of various leaders in the scene like Henry Rollins, Ian Mackye, H.R., Cro-Mags John Joseph, and many many others we get how it started and a background of the climate of those years.

This is a very entertaining documentary if not all that accurate. I have watched alot of documentary about Punk /hardcore/metal and it hard to find a balance between just a history of it which is hard to do and being it just interviewing your favorite bands. This tries its best to tie it all together but still won't get exact history and in all honestly you can't.

This is great for people interested in learing about Hardcore started and just as good for longtime fans. This is the probably the best to learn on how Hardcore started. Also check out the extras for deleted scenes which is just as good.

5 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 22, 2007, 07:14:05 PM
Evil (2005)- This is the first Greek zombie flim. Three men who I think were miners get infected by something in a cave. Each one are fine at the time and go their way. One goes home, other a club and one at a soccer game. Soon the infection sets in and they start to speard it and quick. One bite and a second later your a "zombie". The zombies are like "28 Days Later" type. The surviors soon try to find away out the city.

Their some attempt at charaterzation which is fine. The cast does do a good job in keeping the viewer interested. But first and foremost this is a gore flick. It has some really great scenes. This ends on a downbeat note which does make sense but was suprised because most zombie flims nowdays try to end "happy".

3 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: RCMerchant on February 22, 2007, 07:33:27 PM
I been itching to see AMERICAN HARDCORE. I checked out their site on MySpace,and they have sent me all sortsa info...unfourtantlyI don't get to theatres to often here in the backwoods,and the ancient tiny one in Paw Paw won't have it,I'm sure. I'll have to look it up when it hits DVD.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 22, 2007, 07:37:28 PM
I been itching to see AMERICAN HARDCORE. I checked out their site on MySpace,and they have sent me all sortsa info...unfourtantlyI don't get to theatres to often here in the backwoods,and the ancient tiny one in Paw Paw won't have it,I'm sure. I'll have to look it up when it hits DVD.

RC, It just hit dvd on Tuesday. Thats what I reviewed. :teddyr:

I did see it in theater too.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: RCMerchant on February 22, 2007, 07:57:00 PM
 :bouncegiggle:Far-out! THANX!


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 24, 2007, 01:46:25 PM
Raven (2006)- A girl named Lenore gets raped by some bald guy and then he goes to take bath and she throws a plugged in hair dry and frys him. He comes back and starts to kill her band members and friends.

I think my above statement is correct because this movie is mess. It has a incoherent plot that trys to tie into Edgar Allen Poes poem the Raven and fails terribly. It was also made for people with severe ADD because the scenes have lots of flashing and jumps around so much it just random image put together. I think thats a attempt to be deep. Your not going to care for Lenore either or people who get killed because their zero personality or charaterzation. The killer also kills people in broad daylight in public place like a dentist office. And has a gigantic knife he just carries around like that cool or something.

In the end this movie has nothing going for it. Stay far away from this.

0 stars
 


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 25, 2007, 05:19:08 PM
Psycho II(1983)-Our favorite psycho Norman Bates returns to the infamous house after becoming sane. After getting a job at a local diner he meets a girl named Mary and she starts to stay over the house. Weird things start happing as Norman starts to see his mother again, get phone calls from her and people are winding up dead. Is someone messing with him or is he slipping back to old habits?

While no sequel will outdue the original in this case, this movie is still very good in its own right. It keeps the audeince guessing if Norman is becoming insane again and everything happing is because of him or theirs someone else at work. With couple of good twists thrown it keeps you on edge of your seat and thinking. The end I thought was alittle off, I don't won't to spoil it but I thought the realtive thing was already done in the beginning so its redundant.

4 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on February 27, 2007, 08:58:55 PM
Die You Zombie Bastards!(2005)- A crazy cannibal serial killer has his wife stolen (who is equally as crazy) by Dr. Nefarious who wants to take her as his bride. He also wants to take over the world by turning them into zombies. Our hero goes to different locations and meets people that help him with his quest by giving him weapons and hints to Nefarious hide out.

With zombies who are green and killed by cheese,monsters with ummm "Giant Genitalia" serial killer whose our hero and lots of sexual innuendos this is campy as camp could be and very over the top. While I think its a fun movie some of the campiness takes away from it overall. It feels like a old school Troma film from the 80s which is always good.

3 1/2 Stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 01, 2007, 02:40:33 PM
Feed(2005)- A on the edge Australian police officer whos job is to bust sexually perverts finds a American website call "Feedz". Its a site where someone feeds women and makes them extremely obese, I'm talking 600 pounds here. He thinks something up when he tries to hack the site and it well protected. When his department won't help him he goes to America alone and without permission to see whats going on and faces someone who's not a run of the miller pervert and becomes a cat and mouse game.

The charather are protrayed as contradictions of sort. While our main charater is a cop he has many pervsions of his own (Booze, Hookers Masochistic sex) and we found out more about the person hes after and hes not just in to make women "fat". It also has a sharp eye on our societys views of Religion, women and our own weird sexually fanties and how it ties into childhood. While I thought it got tiresome to hear and see its done decent enough. Its also has lots unerveing scenes with food and the 600 pound women and food being speard on her and being fed so watch out.

The movie has its up and downs like plot twist you can see a mile away than a good twist, the end is what sort of kills it. Without giving to much away it make sense to our cop charater but leaves way to much threads loose for my taste. The alternate ending is better and again makes sense but to extreme.

3 1/2 stars
 


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 02, 2007, 08:08:45 PM
Chainsaw Sally (2004)- A librarian who likes horror movie, killing people who cross her and eating the dead bodies  (where can I find this women in real life) small town is in trouble. Some developers want to turn the town in a modern city. You know strip malls, Condos etc. Problem is where they want to bulid is her parents old house where they where killed by some manics and screwed her up for better or worse. So she going to stop them with her trusty Chainsaw and kill someother random people that get in her way.

This is of course a low budget horror flim but it well done than most of low budget crap out there today. Besides some glaring plot holes and problems that plague these type of films (She kills alot people with noone noticing, none know where she lives and its a small town, when she switchs clothes noone recgonize's her, how is she so quick to move bodies) it's still fun and most important entertaining.

Sally has tons of goth and punk clothes that she never wears the same thing twice which is funny. She kills people with a drop of hat too. One person didn't bring back a book for a year and she tracks them down and kills them. She also kills someone in the Libary for not being quiet. Needless to say the kills are creative and gore enough. Check it out if you tired of the terrible stuff out there in the horror direct to dvd market.

3 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 03, 2007, 07:11:45 PM
The Devil's Den (2006)- Two guys get some sex enhancing drugs from Mexico and go to a strip club called "Devils Den" to test it out. The club is not what what they expect when strippers start turing into "ghouls" fleshing eating demons. With the help of two mysterious people (Kelly Hu and Ken Foree!!) they go after the queen of the ghouls.

The worst thing about this film is the humor and dialogue. The humor falls flat for most of the film and dialogue is just so wooden. It takes alot away from the film. Besides that its a ok flick when you got nothing to watch and have time to kill.

2 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 06, 2007, 07:04:53 PM
Darkness Falls (2003)- In the small nowhere town of Darkness Fall their was a legend that some lady was collecting kids teeth and when she was burned went off the deep end kidnapping kids and the town offed her. In ghost form she would later kill our main charaters ,Kyle's, mother and it screwed him up. 12 years later a old childhood crush calls Kyle back to the town when her brother starts freaking out over the same thing Kyle did. Soon our Tooth Fairy starts killing people and Kyle has to stop her.

This is part of the PG-13 horror movies that have been coming out the last couple of years that have been pretty bad. This is no exception. Mediocre CGI and story, topped with wooden acting. Their is also a laugh out loud part when a car crashs into a tree our main charater flys threw the windshield is ok for the most part. I wish their was more scenes like that might have saved this movie.

Tooth Fairy movie I reviewed awhile ago was better and very different from this. At least it had a interesting enough story and some blood and gore to keep it going. Darkness Falls makes Tooth Fairy look like movie of the year.

2 Stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Menard on March 08, 2007, 02:42:11 PM
...strippers start turing into "ghouls" fleshing eating demons.


Really gives new meaning to the expression 'eat me'. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Happy/happy-073.gif)


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 08, 2007, 08:29:01 PM
The Entity (1981)- A single parent with three kids is suddenly raped by some kind of ghost that we never see. She goes to psychiatrist of course he tell her in her head. As the attacks countinue we figure it not just her and she enlist the aid of paranormal investiagaters to help her out.

Theirs some nasty scenes like when she gets attacked in front of her kids that made me cringe. The psychiatrist is biggest moron I every seen. He not only doesn't believe her but when people actually see her getting attacked he even doubts them! And even tries to hook up her meanwhile he never tries to help her throught the entire film and when people actually try help her he does everything he can to stop them. Biggest douchebag EVERY. Thankfully she doesn't bother with him. 

Overall I had mixed feeling about the film. I felt it was drawnout it could been alot shorter. The last scene is pretty scary, Haven't been scared in awhile to be honest.

3 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Andrew on March 08, 2007, 09:11:04 PM
The Entity (1981)- A single parent with three kids is suddenly raped by some kind of ghost that we never see. She goes to psychiatrist of course he tell her in her head. As the attacks countinue we figure it not just her and she enlist the aid of paranormal investiagaters to help her out.

Theirs some nasty scenes like when she gets attacked in front of her kids that made me cringe. The psychiatrist is biggest moron I every seen. He not only doesn't believe her but when people actually see her getting attacked he even doubts them! And even tries to hook up her meanwhile he never tries to help her throught the entire film and when people actually try help her he does everything he can to stop them. Biggest douchebag EVERY. Thankfully she doesn't bother with him. 

Overall I had mixed feeling about the film. I felt it was drawnout it could been alot shorter. The last scene is pretty scary, Haven't been scared in awhile to be honest.

3 1/2 stars

I need to watch this one again.  I remember it being both scary and the attack (the one I remember) was freaky enough to trouble me.  It left a definite memory footprint on me, even though it had to have been twenty years ago when I saw it.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 08, 2007, 09:18:37 PM
I need to watch this one again.  I remember it being both scary and the attack (the one I remember) was freaky enough to trouble me.  It left a definite memory footprint on me, even though it had to have been twenty years ago when I saw it.

Their are 4 or 5 scenes like that. They are disturbing enough to leave a mark needless to say.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 09, 2007, 08:01:29 PM
300(2007)-The greek city-state of Sparta is coming under attack from the Persian empire. The king of Sparta goes to the oracles to see if he can attack them. When they say no he takes only 300 men to try and stop the Perian onslaught.

Just to put this first this beats out recent "Epic" sword and sandals (Troy, Alexandar, King Arthur) by a mile.This a very visual movie and done well. The fighting from the Spartans is almost ballet like instead of gritty and not trying too hard to be "real" as their lots of blood too. Story and Dialogue is simple enough and really relies on the visuals to tell the story.

Overall enjoyable flick that I can't see having lots of replay value but Its a must see aleast once.

4 Stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 10, 2007, 05:06:28 PM
Wilderness(2006)- A bunch of male Juvenile delinquents and their "officer" get sent to a island after one of their fellow inmates commits suicide as sort a boot camp punishment. The island suppose to be empty but they soon meet up with 3 women delinquents and their "Officer"and a squatter. When the squatter turns up dead what looks like a dog ripping his throat out and the campout is attack resulting in the death of the two officers the rest try to find away off the island and try not to kill each other.

While we sort of have the idea who the killer is and which kid is helping him from the middle of the movie, It still a excllent flick. Its really all about the tension from within the group because these kids aren't nice school kids. They really struggle to get along because they are messed up but some do some growing pains if they like or not. Throw in some nasty but well done kill scenes(Our killer in damn good and use dogs to kill which leads to some brutal scenes and other hunting stuff like beartraps) you have well done film. Recommended.

4 1/2 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 11, 2007, 07:15:57 PM
Cannibal Campout (1988)- 4 college studnets take camping trip to the woods. Little do know that their 3 cannbials brother waiting to rape the women and eat eveyone!

This a fun shoestring budget 80s film. Its unintentionally funny and the acting is just so over the top. The story is cliched but its still enough to get you threw the movie. The gore is also ok for this budget.

3 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 13, 2007, 07:47:08 PM
The Manitou (1978)- A women, Karen goes to a doctor because some bump is growing on her back. The doctors are going to do surgery on it but have some concern because they really don't thinks its cancer or anything like that. The women goes to her fortune-telling man Harry for loving. That same night she's says some kind of weird chant. When shes operated on the surgeon cuts himself and thrown across the room and one Harry's customers floats and throws herself down some stairs. Harry finds various people into the occult and finds out Karen is going to give birth to a 400 old Native American medicine man through her back. He enlist the help of Native American Shaman to help him fight it.

This movie is other unintentional funny as hell flick. Giving birth to a long dead spirit through your back? If you don't laugh at that your at the wrong site. When you finally see the medicine man is a weird looking midget that just had me rolling. The Shaman just knows everything about the spirits the medicine man is summoing and names them all like "StarBeast". The end has Karen shooting thunderbolts at the midget and the devil. If you don't go out and just see it just for than again wrong site.

3 1/2 star


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Andrew on March 13, 2007, 09:40:58 PM
The Manitou (1978)- A women, Karen goes to a doctor because some bump is growing on her back. The doctors are going to do surgery on it but have some concern because they really don't thinks its cancer or anything like that. The women goes to her fortune-telling man Harry for loving. That same night she's says some kind of weird chant. When shes operated on the surgeon cuts himself and thrown across the room and one Harry's customers floats and throws herself down some stairs. Harry finds various people into the occult and finds out Karen is going to give birth to a 400 old Native American medicine man through her back. He enlist the help of Native American Shaman to help him fight it.

This movie is other unintentional funny as hell flick. Giving birth to a long dead spirit through your back? If you don't laugh at that your at the wrong site. When you finally see the medicine man is a weird looking midget that just had me rolling. The Shaman just knows everything about the spirits the medicine man is summoing and names them all like "StarBeast". The end has Karen shooting thunderbolts at the midget and the devil. If you don't go out and just see it just for than again wrong site.

3 1/2 star


I just got in the new DVD of this (replacing my LD copy) and look forward to watching it again.  The whole bit about her growing a Native American Medicine Man fetus out of a pimple on the back of her neck is awesomely funny.  They rarely make movies like this anymore.

Review (pretty much says it all):

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/manitou/index.html


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 15, 2007, 06:55:15 PM
The Quiet (2005)- Dot, A deaf girl who went "deaf" when the mother died when she was 7 and father just died, moves in with some screwed up Godparents (I think their Godparents or Dot's parents close friends). Of course they have a daughter, Nina, who hates her guts and as well as her friends in high school because you know shes different. Nina and Dot both are hiding secrets that will soon spiral out control and change their lives.

I really disliked this movie. The characters are flawed but in the highly unlikable way and very cliched. The twists are so predictable that your going to sit wondering whats the point of the film. I would have wrote more for a overview but even spoiler free you would have guess the entire movie. Actually just watching 25 mins of this I knew the whole movie. Stay away.

1 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 16, 2007, 09:59:07 PM
Crank (2006)- A hitman who does a big hit is betrayed by his employers who hired him. They inject him with some "Chinese s**t" while hes knocked out that basically a slow chemical that going to kill him within a hour. To get revenge on the people who did it to him he's going to have to keep his adrenaline up, always keep moving that means driving into to shopping mall, shoot out in a hospital, fighting in bars, taking lots of drugs and drinking lots of red bull and rockstar.

This is mindless action flick for the video game generation as everything is is extremely unrealistic and over the top like a video game. Its fast paced in the ADD way and the story is simple enough. Thrown in his girlfriend for some substance and thats it. Type of movie is you have nothing to do and this is on TV you can watch all the time.

3 1/2 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 19, 2007, 08:23:52 PM
Night Of The Living Dorks (2004)- Three high school losers go to a voodoo ritual held by some goths in a cemetary to raise the dead. The ritual fails, but zombie ash from a urn get blown over our 3 lovable losers. When driving home and smoke from them smoking weed blocks the the drivers vision and they crash into a tree. They wake up in a morgue and realize they might be Zombies. So like teenage zombies they go to school beat up their bullies, hit on hot chicks and throw a huge party!!

This is teen romatic comedy that has a zombie twist. It has all the usually gags that we see in this genre, Main kid wants the hot chick in school, realize shes a tool goes with his best friend, huge party at one of the kids house, sex jokes etc. But in zombie way. Like the hated Gym teacher is eaten by one of the kids. Theirs twist and turns that make it a cut above the flims in its catergory so check it out.

3 1/2 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 22, 2007, 07:20:19 PM
Threat (2005)- A punk rock kid who lives on the streets of Manhattan (Around 2nd Avenue and around th Bowery, know this because I recognize the locations) meet various individuals on his way with all different opinions and actions. Straight Edge kids who like to beat drunks, A women addicted to sex who has HIV, A women tired of men touching her and want to take action and many others. Soon though everything blows up at a club that turns into a full on war on the streets and people just turn ugly and show their turn colors.

After viewing this I simply could not stand this movie. The characters try to be "deep" but come out bunch of losers, thugs and racists. One of the straight edge guys works at a bar because he want to "Know his enemy". Yeah stupid. The big huge fight at the end was just so dumb and forced I wanted the movie to end. Just a bunch of killing and fighting for nothing. The only person that had a a slightly legit reason to do anything was the girl who was getting tired of men touching her and get back at guy who bothering buy trying to beat him than killing him.

In the end none learns anything and the two remaining people from the big fight deiced to get back at the system by kicking the crap out of corporate business people instead of each other, the poor. Took you that long to realize that? I also doubt "fighting the system" like that is going to work either. If I didn't know anything about NYC (Living here for all my life) or the various scenes like Punk and Straight edge I might have found this passable. For me its unbearable and it did achieve to p**s me off, If that was its goal it did great.

1 Star.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 25, 2007, 05:51:04 PM
Saw 3 (2006)- Jigsaw, Our wacked torturer is dying from some sort of brain tumor. He sends his protege, Amanda to kidnap a female surgeon to do a operation to save him. Of course he sets up a trap so she has to do the operation or she will die and learn a life lesson at the same time. While all this is going on Jigsaw set ups a "Game" for man who lost his son when he was hit by a car. Now he can get revenge on the people that screwed him, Judge who gave the driver little jail time, a witness who refused to testify, and the driver himself. Will he learn some morals? And what does this have to do with the main story?

This movie has lots going on. Besides what I just wrote, their plenty of flashbacks tieing up loose ends from the first two movies like what happen to the the detective from the 2, what happen to one of the guys in the first one, how does Amanda fit into all of this etc. Making this one story heavy Saw's. But still not all the great and sticks I think too much into one movie. Its still has nasty kills and the surgery to save jigsaw using power tools is cringe inducing.

At the end their still a couple of trademark twists but again they stick to many and most you can see a mile away. It also tries to close the trilogy but comes up short. With a cliffhanger ending that just going to tick off most people and turn them off from seeing the 4 if anyone is still around by then I can't really say your missing much by skipping this.

3 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 25, 2007, 06:11:53 PM
Lunacy(2005)- Directed by Jan Svankmajer this is a weird one. A guy named Jean who has nightmares about being attacked by two asylum orderals,meets up with a man named "Marquis". He and a crew of misfits practice all this new age almost occult stuff to cure them of this mental disorders. When jean's nighmares increase Marquis brings him to a insane asylum where the inmates run the place and do what they feel really to try and get better if their trying to get better. When Jean release's the really people who run the asylum after falling in "love" with a nymphomaniac who tells him too, their much more strict in their approach making jeans like much worse.

Like I said this is weird. In-between scene's their claymation involving meat products that are just surreal and need to be seen to be believed. But this is very much a horror movie. Its closer to home with the horror having more of a freedom vs. totalism and strictness. Overall I liked it so check it out.

4 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: dean on March 26, 2007, 03:21:57 AM

Lunacy is a favourite of mine, by one of my favourite directors, Jan Svankmajer.  It's a very nutty look at the world, and I saw it at the Melbourne International Film Festival last year.  Funnily enough, our group was one of the only group laughing in an otherwise packed cinema.  I guess all the others thought they were seeing art films or something.

Big  :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:  :thumbup:  :thumbup: out of ten.

Btw Rich, was this a dvd release?  I'm gagging for it to be released here, to the point I'd murder a small puppy for one.

Also, I would very much recommend his other works [that I've seen at least] Alice [a wierd version of Alice In Wonderland] and Faust.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 26, 2007, 12:42:23 PM

Lunacy is a favourite of mine, by one of my favourite directors, Jan Svankmajer.  It's a very nutty look at the world, and I saw it at the Melbourne International Film Festival last year.  Funnily enough, our group was one of the only group laughing in an otherwise packed cinema.  I guess all the others thought they were seeing art films or something.

Big  :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:  :thumbup:  :thumbup: out of ten.

Btw Rich, was this a dvd release?  I'm gagging for it to be released here, to the point I'd murder a small puppy for one.

Also, I would very much recommend his other works [that I've seen at least] Alice [a wierd version of Alice In Wonderland] and Faust.


Yes it was a dvd release. I rented it from Netflix actually. Its alittle dry on the extras though. Just a tralier and a making of. Still a great movie. I will be checking out his other films no doubt. Very interested in Alice.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 28, 2007, 08:53:45 PM
Switchblade Sisters (1975)-  A gang called "Debbie Daggers" thats a female version of male group Sliver Daggers get a new member after she fights with them. She very independent compared to the leader and is fast becoming the head of the group after doing tasks for them. the Sliver Daggers get into a fight with a rival gang the Crabs and the leader is killed while the female leader is hurt. The new girl takes over and makes it independent all female gang. They are now out to get revenge on the Crabs.

This has a independent women vibe about it which I liked. You can see it with the with the older leader and new leader of the female group and is intertwinded with a all women gang aspect. It also has a certain charm that makes up for acting and the charaters enjoyable. My personal favorite is Bunny. Overall I enjoyed.

3 1/2 stars


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 30, 2007, 02:46:37 PM
Contamination(1980)- A derelict ship approaches NYC where it is taken into dock and check out by NYPD detective and others. They find the crew dead, Looking like they exploded. When they check the cargo hold they find egg like thing being boxed and shipped as coffee. They find one of the eggs pulsating and it explodes killing three people in a gruesome death and sparing the detective who missed getting hit. Soon the government gets involved sending a female colonel of a special section to find out whats happening and a astronaut who encountered the eggs on Mars who was thought to be crazy. They all go to Colombia to find the source.

This is pure cheese film. Nothing happens in the middle of the movie which drags but the end when we see the "Alien Cyclops" thats lying the eggs is pretty cool looking Mushroom/tree thing.

3 stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Andrew on March 30, 2007, 03:09:10 PM
Contamination(1980)


I originally saw this under the alternate (and cut) title "Toxic Spawn."  I have since picked up the "Contamination" DVD and it is a better cut of the film, in addition to being a much higher quality print.  Probably 2 slimes for me.  The idea of killer avocados that exploding, sending chest-bursting fluid flying in all directions, is quite amusing.  Not certain that I would want to work on a plantation where they harvest those things...

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/toxicspawn/index.html


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on March 30, 2007, 03:22:19 PM
Contamination(1980)


I originally saw this under the alternate (and cut) title "Toxic Spawn."  I have since picked up the "Contamination" DVD and it is a better cut of the film, in addition to being a much higher quality print.  Probably 2 slimes for me.  The idea of killer avocados that exploding, sending chest-bursting fluid flying in all directions, is quite amusing.  Not certain that I would want to work on a plantation where they harvest those things...

[url]http://www.badmovies.org/movies/toxicspawn/index.html[/url]



Andrew I had a feeling you reviewed this because I read it. I tried to look it up to link it but when I looked under "C" I couldn't find it. I forgot it had a alternate title. I gave it a three because It had some shots of NYC and the detective was mildly amusing to give it some charm. Monster was pretty cool.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on April 02, 2007, 09:55:53 PM
Night of the Comet(1984)- A comet heading towards earth seems to have killed everyone on earth and the ones that survived seem to have turned into zombies. Except for two sisters and a dude. They arm themselves with some Mac-10s and just try to find more people. They soon encounter scientists that were underground and want to fine a cure. But the infection screws up memory and makes you more zombie like they have to find away to get away from them.

This movie is just plain fun. With many quotables and a wacky story its a great watch. It has a crazy amount of 80s pop music in most of the scence's This just came out on dvd after long out print on VHS. Check it out.

4 star.

Also here the link to the recent topic that has much better mini review by Andrew and more comments:

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,113480.0.html




Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: Andrew on April 02, 2007, 10:06:05 PM
Night of the Comet(1984)- A comet heading towards earth seems to have killed everyone on earth and the ones that survived seem to have turned into zombies. Except for two sisters and a dude. They arm themselves with some Mac-10s and just try to find more people. They soon encounter scientists that were underground and want to fine a cure. But the infection screws up memory and makes you more zombie like they have to find away to get away from them.

This movie is just plain fun. With many quotables and a wacky story its a great watch. It has a crazy amount of 80s pop music in most of the scence's This just came out on dvd after long out print on VHS. Check it out.

4 star


With the red text as a homage to the red dust, right?  I said most of my piece in the one thread (I'll link it below), but were they MAC-10's or Uzis?  I think that you are right, come to think of it.  I have to say, a wild lead-thrower like a MAC-10 is not what I would pick.  A .45 pistol for close range and a carbine for medium range would be my choice.  An M4 or MP5 would be a better choice.  Maybe a Mini-14, as those should be easy to find in a gun shop.

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,113480.0.html


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on April 02, 2007, 10:10:54 PM
I actually copy and paste my review from other board that I write these reviews for where I type in red. Didn't realize it. But I guess cool homage and it works out. Guess I will leave it. :smile:

I think it was Mac-10 because I remember the little sister saying something like we should have got Uzi when they were shooting at the car.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on April 04, 2007, 10:05:58 PM
The Fighting Kentuckian(1949)-This stars John "Motherf*** Duke" Wayne as a soldier named John Breen in the Kentuckian regiment going back home after long years fighting. John meets up with a beautiful french women whose family were generals in Napoleon's army and now have land in America. Of course she falls in love with John but she engaged to be married to a landowner. John doesn't give up and stays in town and finds a conspiarcy going on with the french land, how landowner and some of higher ups in town are trying to take their land and screw over the french. This may be to much for John can he prove to the french family that their getting screwed over for the land? Will John get the girl? I think so.

This is a great old heroic film in typical John Wayne fashion. You know what to expect but still a fun ride with gun fights, fighting for women you love and the bad guy getting theirs at end. I'm a sucker for these films really. Also stars Oliver Hardy and plays great as a funny sidekick to the "Duke".

4 stars.



The Protector (2005)- This stars Tony Jaa a Muay Thai fighter who fast becoming the next Jackie Chan (Theirs a cameo of him in this too) As protector from a warrior tribe thats protects elephants in Thailand. His father and him go to a festival to show their best elephant to the king. Soon gangsters steal a baby and full grown elephant and ship to Syndey. Tony goes and tires to find them and ends up in a mess of situation with crooked cops, The women who stole the elephants to have them stuffed or eaten and very little friends in a good cop and only his fighting style to help him.

Let me get this out of the way: These Martial Art movies plots suck and have huge plot holes that should be ignored. The story is only their to get to the next fight scenes which are great but not as good as Tonys film "Ong-Bak" but still good. Theirs no wires or anything straight up old school fighting and just show styles. Good stuff.

3 1/2 Stars.


Title: Re: Movie Wasteland
Post by: BeyondTheGrave on April 07, 2007, 11:40:26 AM
Grudge 2 (2006)- Note this is the American version. Three school girls go to the house that a brutal double murder occurred when a mother and her son where killed. It said to be haunted and if you go in get cursed. Of course they go in and get cursed. In America a girl is sent to bring back her estranged sister (Sarah Michelle Gellar character from the first) from Japan. In Japan She meets up a man who know about the house and saved her sister when she tried to burn the house. They now trying to stop the curse. The Grudge goes international when in Chicago one of the school girls go back home and curse the apt. building they now live in.


As you can see theirs lots going on in this movie and all of its boring and not scary at all. Its inferior to the Japanese verison (meanwhile the same director is doing it) and just tedious. It does add alittle bit to the myths about the family that live their, With the mother of the girl who was murdered used poison her with evil spirits but That is quickly thrown out even though interesting.

2 stars.