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Movies => Good Movies => Topic started by: Poogie on February 27, 2007, 07:13:10 PM



Title: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Poogie on February 27, 2007, 07:13:10 PM
THINGS I LEARND FROM THE MOVIES
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in the ventilation ducts.
If you need to reload you gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the refrigerator door and use that light instead.
At night, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames or explode.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a baseball stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the present day it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. It only wastes time.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
 :buggedout:
That was more than I thought.. :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:

Can you think of any more?

I forgot to put on here that I found this list on the internet...no way could I have thought of all these by myself.  :smile:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Viktorcrayon on February 27, 2007, 07:53:03 PM
Mediaval peasants actually pretty much had perfect teeth. It was before dentists, but it was also before the sugar industry. They found corpses of people at sea, from medieval times, and they all had a perfect set of teeth!!!

Apart from that, spot on.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on February 27, 2007, 09:35:48 PM
Mediaval peasants actually pretty much had perfect teeth. It was before dentists, but it was also before the sugar industry. They found corpses of people at sea, from medieval times, and they all had a perfect set of teeth!!!

Apart from that, spot on.

 :question:

I would seriously like to see your source of information on that.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Viktorcrayon on February 27, 2007, 09:46:03 PM
I tried googling briefly, and i can't find it, but it's from one of Terry Joneses (yes, the python) history programs.

But it is known in medicine today, that tooth decay is caused by a bacterium in the mouth which turns sugar into lactic acid.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: soylentgreen on February 27, 2007, 09:47:56 PM
Things I learned from the movies...
When a phone conversation is abruptly terminated by one party...a dial tone will come on instantly.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on February 27, 2007, 10:06:37 PM
I tried googling briefly, and i can't find it, but it's from one of Terry Joneses (yes, the python) history programs.

But it is known in medicine today, that tooth decay is caused by a bacterium in the mouth which turns sugar into lactic acid.

That's still quite a stretch. Sugar is not a modern invention, it exists naturally in various foods. A toothbrush and toothpaste are modern inventions. Of course, one could deduce a theory of dental health in medieval times based on the short lifespans of people; they didn't live long enough to develop that serious of problems. Regardless of tooth decay or not, they would have had discolored teeth which were, at least, slightly crooked due to a lack of dental appliances; not to mention that the cure for a toothache was the remove the tooth (although in ancient times there was a theory that a worm caused a toothache, so the cure was to stick a pin in the gums to kill the worm; the pain alone probably made the person forget about their toothache momentarily). All cultures in all times made mention of and had treatments for toothaches.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Viktorcrayon on February 27, 2007, 10:21:52 PM
Menard, everything you put in that post is completely true. They didn't live long enough for their teeth to become messed up.

But still... ofcourse suger exists naturally in nature, but the invention of refined sugar is a modern thing. The sugar from eating some fruit is virtually nothing, compared to the modern industry that put sugar in everything.

 If people didnt drink soda or ate at mcdonalds, many dentists would be out of a job.



Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on February 27, 2007, 11:02:14 PM
Menard, everything you put in that post is completely true. They didn't live long enough for their teeth to become messed up.

But still... ofcourse suger exists naturally in nature, but the invention of refined sugar is a modern thing. The sugar from eating some fruit is virtually nothing, compared to the modern industry that put sugar in everything.

 If people didnt drink soda or ate at mcdonalds, many dentists would be out of a job.



Anything which is refined certainly has its drawbacks. Heart disease, though it has always existed, has had such an increase in occurance in the 20th Century that it has been referred to as a phenomenon of the 20th Century (yes, I know it is the 21st Century now :tongueout:). Interestingly, the improved milling of grain, allowing for the complete removal of the hull and germ from the grain coincides with the advanced development of heart disease.

Coincidence? Maybe; but the removal of most any nutritional value from a food source which was, and is, so much a part of people's daily diets has to have an affect somewhere.

Of course, there is the improved capabilities of detection and diagnosis which certainly could account for some of it as well. Previous to the 19th century, doctors were often looked upon, in certain societies, as a servant class, much the same as a butcher, baker, or candlestick maker, there to provide a service. As the 19th century proceeded, so did an amazing amount of medical knowledge, and so did the societal position of doctors; making it a more desireable occupation.

One thing that has changed, though, is that people of old put up with a lot more personal discomfort than we would today; largely because they didn't have any other choice.

Overall, however, people eat better, are healthier, and live longer today than at any time in history. Yes, we have just as many things which can cause us harm today, but many more ways to deal with them.

In my travels, I have met people advanced in their years who basically ate meats and vegetables, and not much else. Those who did not take care of their teeth had them largely rotted out. We have all seen pictures of people in third world countries who have rotted and crooked teeth, and nobody is tossing them Snickers bars.

Terry Jones may have a point to make on selected evidence to explain why everyone in one of his films in a medieval setting has perfect teeth, but it comes down to what a lawyer told me once: you can prove any point you want with any evidence you want, but it comes down to who can do a better job of convincing others.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Trevor on February 28, 2007, 01:39:21 AM
 :smile: Hi Poogie: here's another for you:

Any actor attempting to play a South African in a movie will inevitably get the accent wrong, way wrong. Witness Joss Ackland, Derrick O'Connor, Donald Sutherland, Marlon Brando, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, John Thaw, Denzel Washington, Kevin Kline, Jurgen Prochnow, etc.

The only word I can use here is eina, eina, eina ~ three words meaning OUCH in South African slang.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Him on February 28, 2007, 09:45:25 AM
Attractive women are always single and available.

The French are sex addicts.

The English are evil.







Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Jack on February 28, 2007, 04:19:41 PM
Many ancient peoples, especially those living on tropical islands, had six-pack abs and apparently trained regularly with a Bowflex.

Everything except glass is bulletproof.

A jet airliner in flight is almost completely silent inside.

Human beings do not have peripheral vision.

Human beings do not have common sense.

Almost everyone in the US Military is a Navy SEAL.  Those who aren't are Rangers.   

A typical hand grenade produces a fireball ten feet across.

Everyone has always been politically correct, going all the way back to 2,000 BC.

Large corporations often employ people who despise large corporations, and usually make them high-ranking managers.

The average ammunition capacity for a handgun is 50 rounds, for a submachine gun, unlimited.

Martial arts are done in slow motion.

Being hit in the face numerous times leaves absolutely no bruises.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Automan2000 on March 01, 2007, 12:01:37 AM
In Medieval times women didn't bother with clothes unless it was snowing.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: sideorderofninjas on March 01, 2007, 12:26:53 AM
Any cop beating crooks near any body of water will have at least one of the crooks thrown in the fountain, pond, lake, sea, ocean...

All secret evil plans by large corporations are hidden in computer systems that could be hacked into by a 4 year old using a speak and spell. 


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: raj on March 01, 2007, 10:33:52 AM
At night, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Well, yes, they should.

And no matter what city you are in -- even New York -- you will always be able to find a parking spot right in front of whatever building you need to go into.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Him on March 01, 2007, 12:47:42 PM
Woman always dress and undress in front of a window with the curtains open.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on March 01, 2007, 12:55:07 PM
Woman always dress and undress in front of a window with the curtains open.

I wish!

Not that I...ahem...would watch. :lookingup:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Trevor on March 02, 2007, 06:46:26 AM
 :smile:

 Hi Menard ~ four words for you:

Body Double
Bedroom Eyes

Yowza.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Dr. Whom on March 03, 2007, 06:08:43 AM
Ah, but Body Double was a set up, so it doesn't count.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Yaddo 42 on March 03, 2007, 07:11:11 AM
Brighton Beach Memoirs - can't believe I'm posting that film on this forum.

Bleeding from your mouth is always one lone bright red stream from the corner, unless you are dying. Then you will either cough or spit up lots of the the stuff or your teeth will be tinted pink with it while you smile bravely and make some lame joke to left the spirits of the people around you.

Pistols are more accurate than long arms if you are a hero. Firing one handed works even better if you have to fire a shot when accuracy really counts.

There's always places to bob and weave in and out of in traffic during a car chase so you don't have to ever stop.

The more loyal your best friend is at the beginning of a film, the deeper the betrayal later on. If you are both female, the friend is sleeping with your husband/boyfriend/significant other - see any Lifetime Movie.

All women in trouble are really really hot. Especially if you are a private investigator, down on his luck and really needing work, any work.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ghouck on March 03, 2007, 12:46:00 PM
Dead-Alive:
There is a systematic approach to putting the eyes back in a corpse after being poped out due to overpressure during the embalming process.

Priests are not very good at making out.


Bad Taste:
Aliens have a fibula.

Chainsaws make very accurate cuts with tight radii.


Naked Lunch:
William tell did not put an apple on his son's head, it was a drinking glass.

Adultry is fine, as long as there are drugs involved and it is amongst friends.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: LilCerberus on March 04, 2007, 12:29:02 AM
Whoever is in the vicinity of a pool of gasoline alway has a clasic Zippo Windproof(TM) which they are perfectly willing to part with.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Poogie on March 05, 2007, 11:34:33 AM
This might be a girl thing. When someone rinses out their mouth, after brushing their teeth, they spit into the sink but they don't rinse out the sink.  :buggedout:  :smile:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: clockworkcanary on March 05, 2007, 03:59:40 PM
You can punch, fall, or drive a motorcycle through a huge plane glass window without a single laceration!

You can avoid/escape/evade a large explosion by diving into water, thus avoiding concussive damage and flying debris.

If someone hangs up on you, you're obligated to repeat, "hello? hello? hello?" even if it was obvious what just happened.

If you're a rebel cop you're not allowed to shave!

You can konk someone on the head and knock them out with ease...and of course, they will sustain no injury from it at all.

Placing a tissue over a young woman's mouth and nose for even a nanosecond will knock them out completely!

If you make a statement that's the least bit sceptical (not being superstitious) you will be proven wrong/made an example out of.

All life's major problems can be encountered, endured, and dealt with in time spans of 30 minutes, 60 minutes, or 90 minutes.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: raj on March 06, 2007, 03:24:23 PM
This might be a girl thing. When someone rinses out their mouth, after brushing their teeth, they spit into the sink but they don't rinse out the sink.  :buggedout:  :smile:

What's this "rinse out the sink" thing?


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Him on March 06, 2007, 03:59:04 PM
Aliens eat animals while they are still alive.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Poogie on March 06, 2007, 04:36:07 PM
This might be a girl thing. When someone rinses out their mouth, after brushing their teeth, they spit into the sink but they don't rinse out the sink.  :buggedout:  :smile:

What's this "rinse out the sink" thing?
EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW....The next person that goes in there to wash their hands or do whatever and there's this blob of toothpaste and spit and who knows what stuck to the side of the sink. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW......It's gross.  :buggedout:  :buggedout: :buggedout:   :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Viktorcrayon on March 06, 2007, 04:48:04 PM
It is a girl thing... Just like showering! It's not manly.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Poogie on March 06, 2007, 04:56:30 PM
The funny thing about it is the last time I saw this happen was on Desperate Housewives.....and it was a woman who did it.
I watched a video on the differences between a man and a woman taking a shower and it was really funny, but I wouldn't be able to put it on here, it was on YouTube.  :teddyr:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Viktorcrayon on March 06, 2007, 05:34:11 PM
Yeah, i watched that video as well. Very accurate!


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: dean on March 07, 2007, 08:37:14 AM

One thing I learnt that just occured to me recently, is that every good, funny, life-changing, hilarious or terrifying road trip involves someone dying...


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on March 07, 2007, 10:36:26 AM
One thing I learnt that just occured to me recently, is that every good, funny, life-changing, hilarious or terrifying road trip involves someone dying...


BTW, good luck on your upcoming trip. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-065.gif)


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: iggy9919 on March 08, 2007, 01:40:23 AM
secret agents have the power to meet the hottest women, charm them within 30 seconds and have their clothes fall off shortly after

villians will ALWAYS capture the hero at some point in the movie, have the opportunity to kill them, but either launch into a detailed description of their plot, or come up with some complicated way to kill them, or both

gas tanks are made of papermache and any type of metal found near them creates sparks frequently.

the movie revolver contains 12-16 rounds, rather than the standard six and can be reloaded in under 5 seconds.

c-4 explosive can be ignited by flame and bullets, rather than an electrical charge as it was designed to be detonated by.




Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ulthar on March 08, 2007, 09:00:14 AM

c-4 explosive can be ignited by flame and bullets, rather than an electrical charge as it was designed to be detonated by.


Uh, been watching too many movies?  C4 is not detonated by electrical discharge.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: iggy9919 on March 08, 2007, 03:47:22 PM
i knew someone would have that to say.

ok, i read a couple posts that say it can be.  and we know it can be ignited with a blasting cap right?

anyway, my main point was i know fire and bullets for damn sure shouldnt set it off.



Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on March 08, 2007, 04:01:59 PM
anyway, my main point was i know fire and bullets for damn sure shouldnt set it off.

You are going to hate this.

The world of bad mistakes with improvised munitions is filled with stories of 'accidents' with something which should not have set it off.

One guy put his semtex paste into an oven because it had too much moisture; he later remodeled his kitchen.

Another guy was trying to knead the plastique, but it was too stiff, so he used a hammer. They call him 'lefty' today.

There are two things which secondary explosive are sensitive to: shock (impact), and heat. A blasting cap produces both, but either one in the right proportion can set off a secondary explosive.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ulthar on March 08, 2007, 05:06:28 PM

anyway, my main point was i know fire and bullets for damn sure shouldnt set it off.


As Menard said (oh man, I am AGREEING with MENARD  :buggedout:  ), yes, either can cause a secondary hi ex to detonate.  If you doubt that fire can cause a detonation, check out the Texas City disaster that happened in 1947.  Or more recently, the ammonium perchlorate plant that exploded in Utah a few years back.  Both were true detonations initiated by fire.  RDX is not immune.

As a matter of fact, I've got a copy of "Numerical Modeling of Explosives and Propellants" around here somewhere.  It contains pretty much a WHOLE CHAPTER on heat initiation.  To answer the other issue, there's also a whole section on impact initiation (such as by a bullet).  Hope this helps.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Menard on March 08, 2007, 05:23:52 PM
As Menard said (oh man, I am AGREEING with MENARD  :buggedout:  )

Makes ya feel good, don't it. :tongueout:


I've got a copy of "Numerical Modeling of Explosives and Propellants" around here somewhere.

Really makes one wonder about you; among other things. :teddyr:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: iggy9919 on March 08, 2007, 05:54:01 PM
ok, i give up with the c-4.

have worked with ammunition, not explosives, so i must defer to others.  please delete that last line from my original post.

dammit!!!


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: CheezeFlixz on March 09, 2007, 02:04:02 AM
OFF TOPIC BRIEFLY as to the glories of Medieval Tooth Decay ...

Twelve skeletal samples, previously published, from the Arabian Gulf have been used to trace differences in diet and subsistence patterns through an analysis of dental pathology. The skeletons date from 3,000 BC to AD 1,500 and cover a variety of geographical locations: off-shore islands, Eastern Arabia, and Oman. The dental conditions analyzed are attrition, caries, calculus, abscessing, and antemortem tooth loss (AMTL). Results indicate four basic patterns of dental disease which, while not mutually exclusive, correspond to four basic subsistence patterns. Marine dependency, represented by the Ras el-Hamra population, is indicated by severe attrition, low caries rates, wear-caused abscessing, and a lack of AMTL. The second group of dental diseases--moderate attrition and calculus, low rates of caries, wear-caused abscessing, and low-moderate rates of AMTL--affects populations subsisting on a mixture of pastoralism or fishing and agriculture (Failaka, Umm an-Nar, Bronze Age Maysar, Bronze Age Shimal, and Iron Age Galilah). Mixed farming populations (Iron Age Maysar and Islamic Bahrain) experienced low-moderate attrition, high rates of caries and calculus, abscessing due to caries, and severe AMTL. The final group of dental diseases affects populations practicing intensive gardening (Bronze and Iron Age Bahrain, and Sites 3 and 5, Ras al-Khaimah). These groups experienced slight attrition, high rates of caries, low rates of calculus deposition, and severe AMTL.

Ref: Australian National University, Canberra

So there it is and for things I learned from movies ...

The hero can be shot multiple time in vital areas and survive, they can also be beaten with any heavy object and escape nearly unfettered. With proper motivation you can continue to fight with a 12" Bowie Knife puncturing your lung and/or heart.
You always get laid on the first date.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: JPickettIII on March 09, 2007, 02:00:24 PM
The two most important things that I have learned from movies are:

1. Cops can go around killing bad guys with out blinking an eye or becoming depressed and no internal investigations.

2. Civilians that have a little bit of information about the possible monster, criminal, ghost or what-ever we be asked to come along on a military search and destroy mission or police man hunt.

Oh yeah,

3. The cops and or military seem to have the biggest and baddest weaponary on the spot.

Just my 2 pennies.

John


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Him on March 12, 2007, 03:49:54 PM
On an alien planet, the punishment for any crime is death.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: T-Rex Television on March 14, 2007, 05:09:08 PM
As long as you wear a black leather jacket, you will never get badly hurt. By fire, cuts, rugburn, whips, etc.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ulthar on March 14, 2007, 06:02:01 PM
Many cars and motorcycles have forty gears.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: JaseSF on March 14, 2007, 06:02:25 PM
Most often if you're the main hero in a Kung Fu film, you cannot lose a fight no many how many villains are waiting in the wings to ambush you.  :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: LilCerberus on March 21, 2007, 12:24:36 AM
Any shotgun with a 16" barrel, using bird shot, is pinpoint accurate within, well, any range.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Dennis on March 25, 2007, 05:17:34 PM
Living in a town with any of the following names, Amity, Amityville, Perfection or Prosperity is a sign that something unpleasant will occur.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Kooshmeister on April 02, 2007, 09:10:03 AM
Laboratories will always contain at least one intricately set up chemistry set consisting of test tubes, beakers, flasks, and retorts... even if the laboratory is for a field of science that doesn't involve chemistry, ever.

Whenever the mad scientist drinks his own concoction and begins to transform/mutate, he will invariably end up smashing loads of said beakers, flask, and other junk. In fact, these intricate chemical apparatus setups exist solely for this purpose.



Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: WingedSerpent on April 06, 2007, 11:45:58 AM
A person "from the streets" is a much better fighter than a trained millitary/police officer or practicing martial artist.

Looking at a loved-one gives a 100 lb guy the strenght to beat a 300 lb bar room brawler.

Most alien intellegent species are roughly the size and shape of a person.  Or they are gass clouds.

A metal pan can deflect a bullet which will continue to richoet until it hits the origianl shooter.  Likewise a hand mirror can deflect a laser pistol.

You can outrun/doge a laser even though it travels at the speed of light.

 


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Automan2000 on April 06, 2007, 02:41:30 PM
We can't forget about the Stormtrooper Effect...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormtrooper_effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormtrooper_effect)

There is also the similiar Inverse Ninja Law.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Zapranoth on April 13, 2007, 02:24:26 AM
The Inverse Ninja law is excellent.

Things I've learned from movies:

1.   Japanese crowds scream like schoolgirls when pursued by tromping giant monsters.   American crowds, however, almost don't scream at all.
2.   White tanktops are always bloodied, dirtied,and ultimately torn off.
3.   Bullet wounds to the shoulder don't hurt.  They don't even keep the average human being from using that arm, actually.
4.   You can jump any car by running into anything.  Whether it's a barrel, a stack of tires, or a pile of sand.
5.   You can never, ever break the chassis of a car by jumping it.
6.   Fatigue is a state of mind.
7.   Not only do bullets ricochet off of anything, but they make a zinging metallic noise when doing so, even if the ricochet is off of, say, wood.
8.   When confronted with strange noises in the night, women tend to undress as completely as possible, THEN go investigate, preferably with the least effective weapon available.
9   More teenagers are murdered during the act of sex than in alcohol-related MVAs.

and

10.   The inverse machine gun law:  the more opponents one is facing, the less likely one is to actually hit ANY opponent if using a machine gun.

Oh... and

11.    It's possible to carry a minigun, and  along with that sufficient ammo to fire it in a sustained fashion.  Not only that -- it's possible to fire said minigun from the hip, in a sustained fashion, and to aim it, if you just spread your feet apart a bit to brace yourself.   (Thank you Jesse Ventura!)


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Allhallowsday on April 13, 2007, 03:59:33 PM
Interestingly, the improved milling of grain, allowing for the complete removal of the hull and germ from the grain coincides with the advanced development of heart disease.
The improved milling of grain also helped teeth last longer, as consumers were no longer breaking them on the grit, sand, and stone bits that were always in grain products until very recently in human history . . . 

And I learned from the movies that:
Women in a cat fight will always windup with their hair messed up just perfectly.
Mummies have magical powers. 
The hero or heroine who is at the mercy of the villain and in a vulnerable, impossible-to-escape position will.
The Frankenstein monster really only wants a friend. 
The homely girl will get all dolled up just to be slaughtered. 
The phone will ring at the most inopportune times, including at just the right moment to prevent reconciliation, revealing of the secret, or to make the audience jump. 



Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: rebel_1812 on April 13, 2007, 06:04:56 PM
i learned that pretty people are the norm; ugly people are quite rare.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: LilCerberus on April 14, 2007, 12:40:21 AM
Flare pistols: the poor man's bazooka


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: LilCerberus on April 14, 2007, 04:57:18 PM
Jet engines are generally easy to find, inexpensive, and easily installed in automobiles.

When in use, a jet engine will not affect a car's handling in tight corners.

Best of all, jet engines run fine on Regular, and are both street legal, as well as approved by NASCAR.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ER on April 10, 2021, 05:53:39 AM
The Princess Bride: There is a metabolic condition known as "mostly dead."

Mulan: A single grain of rice can tip the scale.

Borat: Americans will let a foreigner walk all over them.

Every rom-com: Somehow the same sheet that will reach only to a man's midsection will miraculously reach the top of a woman's chest.

Top Gun: Soviet migs somehow patrolled the airspace off the California shore.

Every horror movie: White males lack a danger sensing gene omnipresent in women and black people.

All toga flicks: Romans had English accents.

Apocalypto: Mayans were apparently unfamiliar with the concept of treading water.

Plan 9 From Outer Space: Modern jetliners use shower curtains to enclose the cockpit area.

Plan 9 From Outer Space: Commercial airline pilots sit in lawn chairs.

Raiders of the Lost Ark: Indiana Jones was apparently capable of holding his breath underwater for days while clinging to the side of a submerging u-boat.

Red Dawn: The Pentagon will not notice an extra 5,000 commercial flights from Central America into the US.

All Disney movies: Living amid talking racoons and waltzing tables never seems to freak out the film's main character.

Forbidden Planet: It is possible to get drunk off your ass if you play a drinking game based on every time Professir Morbius says "uh."

Spice Girls: How long 88-minutes can be.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: Dr. Whom on April 13, 2021, 01:13:34 AM
From The Dragon Lives Again: It is possible to die in the Afterlife.


Title: Re: Things I learned from the movies.....
Post by: ER on April 13, 2021, 08:54:59 AM
To hide from the Galactic Empire, it is not necessary to change your clothing, appearance, or last name, only your first name.

The Passion of the Christ: Jesus once tried to engage his mother in a water splashing war, but Mary was too proper to do such a thing.

It is acceptable to sneak up on an enemy during a gunfight, and still be cool. (Judge Roy Bean, High Noon, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence.)

BUT always shoot the damn Nazi when you have a chance. (Saving Private Ryan.)

Khan and Chekov remembering one another, despite Chekov not being part of the Enterprise crew during the events depicted in The Space Seed, shows that The Wrath of Khan was actually the first Trek flick to be set in an alternate timeline, and not JJ Abrams versions. (Pretty nifty explanation, eh?)

All mothers in Disney films might as well be wearing red shirts.

Gone with the Wind: The entire movie would have been unnecessary if the white folk had just f**king listened to Mammy from the get-go.

When you name your daughter Daisy, you can get a HAL-9000 to sing her sleep.

Amity, New York is a good place not to live. (Jaws, The Amityville Horror)

The Wizard of Oz is not a kids' show, it's scary as s**t.

If you play with a Ouija board, you should avoid eating pea soup.

Though she was orphaned at birth, tortured by her father, kissed by her brother, enslaved by a slug, groped by her future husband, betrayed by her son, and she witnessed the destruction of her adopted home world, Princess Leia showed us  that it is possible to make it through life without turning to drugs or developing an eating disorder.  (I said Princess Leia....)

No, Manhattan does not prove Woody Allen was into little girls...only older forms of jailbait.