Badmovies.org Forum

 :teddyr: Oh, blimey, no...................................!

A production company contacted me yesterday to ask if I would agree to be filmed (videoed) for a program on local television and give my thoughts on censorship, past, present and future.

My bosses are currently checking this out and it might or might not happen, I don't know.

I need an urgent makeover, new clothes, new teeth and new underpants, urgently.  :teddyr:

What kind of help do you think a bunch of bad movie lovers are going to give you, anyway? We have no shame.

- No "F-Bombs"

- Do not tap the mic and ask "Is this thing on?" more than twice

- No pinstripes or small checked patterns - they strobe on TV (unless you want to give the views migraines  :teddyr:)

- Work a BILLY JACK reference into every statement

I hope this works out and you have fun!

Cool!

But remember, if they ask you to take your shirt off, ask for more money first!  :teddyr:

Just kidding. Congrats. TV can be a little nerve-wracking, but it is usually no big deal once you're there.

Leave the chainsaw at home.

Remember to look directly into the camera, smile.

And RELAX!

Don't puke! But if you must...try to projectile vomit...as it looks real cool!
Don't pick your nose...but,if you must,don't wipe it on your pants. Use the interviewers pants.
Swear alot. Use the "F" word every in every sentence...it makes you cool. Like Ozzy!
If the intervewer is a female...grope her breasts,as she will be complmented,and give you easy questions.
If you don't know the answer to a question don't say_ I don't know".That Will make you look stupid! Scream in the interviewers face " THAT IS NONE OF YOUR DAM BUSINESS!"

                Have fun...and don't wet your pants...( if you feel like your going to  pee...just whip it out!! That will show your indepence and intelligence! Wetting your pants would make you seem weak and foolish!) :smile:

That was all very very good advice :thumbup:.

haha, when i first read this, i thought it said that your teeth need new underpants. :bouncegiggle:

Wish I could see the program my friend, have fun with it. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

 :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:

Thanks, people, I haven't had a laugh like that in a while.

RCM ~ I think if I do projectile vomit, it will be the highlight of the taping. If I sneeze or pick my schnozz I will do what you suggested and maybe what Craig Berenson did on Snakes On A Plane.  :smile: If I need to pee and whip it out, people will yawn.  :teddyr:

Derf ~ Show my "well developed ribs and bones"? Never.  :teddyr:

Raffine ~ I will probably have to include Billy Jack as they've asked for some famous ones that were banned.

KYGOTC ~ all I can say is :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle:

Fortunato ~ I was hoping for a hug and maybe a small chocolate bar, but there you go.  :teddyr:

Dennis ~ thanks, I will try to!

Thanks to the glory of Youtube, I suggest you upload the interview.  Then we can start two seperate threads: one discussing the merits of your arguments and points to do with censorship etc, and one thread to discuss the merits of your choice of wig and whether or not staring blanky at the screen with a bit of drool dripping down your face for the entire interview was really a good choice or not...

Oh and I worry that buying new underpants is required for a tv interview... but it would make for great viewing to see the sordid answer...

 :bouncegiggle: Thanks, Dean.  :teddyr:

I have just had my hair cut so the wig might be an option. The barber said "So how would you like your hair? Short, short or short?"  Me think me choose wrong option.  :buggedout:

I will try not to drool, but I really do need some new undies, brown ones for preference.  :teddyr:

Just be sure to close the interview with a stirring a capella rendition of One Tin Soldier and everything will be just ducky!

You'll do just fine..........................................remember to wear a diaper.  :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:

 :bluesad:

No, it seems like I'm not going to be on TV after all, the company changed their plans after my bosses took too long to decide on this. So no TV for the Trevster.   :bluesad:

Now what on earth am I going to do with these second hand sets of teeth and all these pairs of hand-me-down patched and pee stained underpants?  :buggedout:

Help!  :buggedout:

Stop kidding around and fork 'em over already.

You could:

Go to a concert and throw them on stage, a la Tom Jones.

Give them out as presents at the holidays.

Wrap the teeth in the undies and sell them as kinky novelties.

Put them in a valise in case you, Walter, and the Dude have to make a ransom money drop off and want to try a bait and switch.

Sew the undies into a giant nasty flag to fly in front of your house, and turn the teeth into an avant garde piece of art to decorate your home or office.

Take them on your next date and tell her, "Clean all of these if you really love me." See how long it takes her to run screaming. You could even start an office pool, taking bets for upcoming dates.

Box them up and mail them to either Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell, Paris Hilton, Rush Limbaugh, or Bill Gates. Include a card inscribed "From your biggest fan." Then sign it with the name of one of the other people I mentioned.

Form a fraternal organization called the Smoothmouth and Pee Pants Brigade. Give the items out to prospective members.

Drive to a remote spot in the country and arrange them so that it looks like a mass UFO abduction of guys with false teeth and weak bladders has occurred. Alert the authorities and wait for the fun and the eventual arrest for wasting their time. You might get on TV that way. See it all comes back around.