Badmovies.org Forum

What movie can be more torture to sit through than Manos?

Why, Home Alone 4 of course.


Yes. Home Alone 4--there IS such a thing!

And best of all it was written by people who obviously never saw the last 3!

Just some examples of screw ups they did in this film....


1. Kevin McCallister looks more like the new HA kid from HA3-brown hair, wimpier attitude etc.


2. This takes place at the exact same time HA2:New York takes place.


3.The crooks from HA parts 1 and 2 are combined into one guy but is supposed to be both of the same guys from the first two films.


4. Kevin's family is poor.

5. Most of Kevin's other siblings vanished leaving Buzz and Megan only.

6. Buzz and Megan are only about one year older than Kevin and definetly much younger than they were in part 1.

7. Kevin's parents have divorced.

8. There are a total of about three-maybe four traps---and all are basically done by remote control


9. The plot isn't really about robbing a house but about kidnapping a prince.

10. Different looking house though it's supposed to be the same one from HA1 /HA2 but it looks nothing like it. 

(http://www.nanarland.com/Chroniques/hardrockzombies/Affiche1.jpg)

MANOS 2: FEET OF DESTINY?

At least a viewing of MANOS is memorable - kinda like getting a root canal is memorable, I suppose, but memorable nontheless.  However, this flick is so bad, my brain has numbed those memory cells so as to spare me the torture of recollecting it.  I DO remember having watched it, which is bad enough.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/55/Legally_Blonde_2_film.jpg/200px-Legally_Blonde_2_film.jpg)

I'm still sticking with that stinkorama from the Polonias.

There was one kids' movie I sat through one evening called "Ping", about a chihuahua who fights off kidnappers or something dumb like that.  THAT was definitely worse than Manos, at least Manos made me laugh. 

Pink Flamingos
Sextette
The Trial of Billy Jack

Usually, the ones that hurt me worse than "Manos" are the ones that scrape at my sensibilities.

I actually loved HARD ROCK ZOMBIES. Man, that was cheesy, goofy fun.  Let's see this is tough...oh wait ARMAGEDDON is still the worst movie I've ever seen. Oh you meant a B-movie didn't you? Well JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (1989) seems to me a pretty good torturous choice.

CRIMINALLY INSANE II/CRAZY FAT ETHEL II

I recently watched CRIMINALLY INSANE again for the first time in years and was pleasantly surprised to find that in spite of it's almost zero budget and some rotten performances it's actually quite entertaining and (intentually) funny. 

The sequel is almost unwatchable, though, consisting of a few minutes of new footage that looks like it was taped with a 80's home video camera (it probably was) and most of the running time made up of Ethel "remembering" scenes from the first movie.

Nothing could be worse than Going Overboard starring Adam Sandler. Nothing.

It had Adam Sandler in it--what did you expect?

The most painful movie to sit through...Full Frontal (2002).  I'm not a huge Steven Soderbergh fan.  He's okay.  But, he lost serious credibility with me due to this turd-burger.

I have one rule when it comes to watching movies: No matter how bad the movie is, I'll always watch it all the way to the end.  This movie is so boring and plot-less that it made me want to jab my eyes out with a blunt object.  Stay away from this movie at all costs!

I got that movie, I didn't think it was any where near as bad as Manos, Hands of Fate (translated:  Hands, Hands of Fate)(Who the heck thought of that title????)

Ugh

John

Hard Rock Zombies made me want to gouge out with my eyeballs with a rusty spoon.

At least Manos has Torgo.

I still say CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN is the most unwatchable movie I have ever seen.  I have it on TWO different DVDs:  one is a double feature with CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, both directed by the same guy (this DVD is from Something Weird); the other is one of Mill Creek's 50 movie packs, but I can't remember which one right now.  This movie is PUTRID.  At least MANOS is funny . . .

(http://www.exoticarms.com/Photos/Dead%20Life%20movie%20poster.jpg)

 :smile: Home Alone 4 was actually made in South Africa, believe it or not.

The films that I find the hardest to sit through are the thankfully few anti-South African films that have been made over the years: I know my country had a bad past and I know there are stories to tell, but I will not waste my time with such films.

Are you referring to films like The Power of One?  Or films more harsh than that I'm not aware of?

Loved Hard Rock Zombies (early Phil Fondacaro!). If you're looking for some really painful type stuff though, I think the worst movies I've ever seen have been Demonicus, The Devil Master, Killer Workout, Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare and the absolute worst stink burger of all time: Night Crawlers.

If you're talking "gouge out your eyes with a rusty spork" stuff, you don't get worse than Night Crawlers...

Actually, after reading your review, this sounds like one of the Polonias' (grunt) "better" flicks, which I guess barely describes just how awful the rest of their stuff is.

It's kinda hard to imagine anybody could do worse than this, let alone suck just a little more with each attempt, but somehow, these guys make Larry Buchanan look like a genius.

I'm starting to wonder if maybe Larry Buchanan isn't just one of those misunderstood guys that doesn't realize his stuff sucks and you kinda feel bad for him after a while. I think if he'd had a heartwarming little biopic directed by Tim Burton and was played by someone as charming as Johnny Depp, his flicks might not seem so awful after all...

Whereas I'm still with you on the Polonias brothers all the way Cerb. They're just out to lay a cranial crap on the minds of viewers everywhere... :hatred:

has anyone else ever seen Timothy Hines' version of THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005)? He gets a slight nod for attempting to adapt H.G. Welles novel word for word. However sitting through this is like having every tooth in your head pulled by a rabid chimp armed with a pair of rusty pliers. It feels like at least two and a half hours of this three hour opus is people walking around, and the rest is filled with some of the silliest CGI effects imaginable. My favorites ones are the terrible fire effects used over and over and the screaming, thrashing mulitcolored skeletons.

Here's Wikipedia's version  of the film's convoluted history:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.G._Wells%27_The_War_of_the_Worlds_%282005_film%29 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.G._Wells%27_The_War_of_the_Worlds_%282005_film%29)

...and the imdb page:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425638/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425638/)

EDIT: I would strongly suggest Andrew review this one for this site, but I'd hate to get banned!  :smile:

As flakie as the guy is, Timbo's WOTW wasn't quite as bad as The Wizard of Mars, which is almost as bad as the works of Larry Buchanan, who looks like a genius compared to the Polonias.

I've yet to see THE WIZARD OF MARS, but it is famous to all us warped kids who were raised on Famous Monsters of Filmland... 'cause Forrest J. Ackerman was the "Technical Advisor". That was right before he "guest starred" in Al Adamson's DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, so ol' Forry's taste wasn't always to be trusted.

I also have not seen any of the much-discussed Polanias Brothers films. Any, er, (I know I'm gonna hate myself) suggestions?

Obviously there are titles that are just disagreeable, like Erin Brockovich or Overboard, but I think the purpose of this thread is for movies that are universally bad.

I'll put in my vote for two movies:  Butterfly and Wheels of Terror.

(http://www.dodginggrunge.com/adminStorage/butterflywheelsofterror.png)

Pia Zadora is a staple of bad movies.  And while slow-paced, poorly written farmhand stories and father-daughter incest in and of themselves are not necessarily enough to turn me off of a movie, add a devastatingly broken (but once heroically visionary) Orson Welles to the mix and, well, yeah... You get the mess that is Butterfly.  I am a fairly cynical film viewer, but even I had to shed a tear for his career over this one (this is even sadder than Welles doing the narration in the American dub of the Transformers movie).  :)

And then there's Wheels of Terror.  I have no problem with films that conclude with an hour-long car chase.  This film, however, concludes with an hour-long car chase in SLOW MOTION!  AH!  Haha.  It is kind of like watching Nascar after doing thirty or forty rounds of Whip-Its.  Even my gearhead friends have great difficulty in getting into this one.

You know, until I saw that I had suppressed the memory of having seen Butterfly.  But now it's been dredged up again, and I can feel the pain all over again.   :tongueout:

It is actually quite common to repress memories of traumatic experiences, like seeing Butterfly.  Many people find themselves wanting to smash beautiful Monarchs with blocks of concrete during their annual migration, but aren't sure why.  I am always glad to help people work through such disturbances so they can carry on with their lives.  :)

I like MANOS! A lot!
I DISMEMBER MAMA...no dismembring...no blood...no nothing...just a big bore. In fact,I dilike most anything by Paul Leder.

Alright, but I must warn you, when you find yourself consumed by an overwhelming urge to hunt me down & forcibly perform an unnatural act upon my person with a whaling harpoon that's wrapped in barbed wire connected to a tazer, I will defend myself!

I will, however, understand what you have suffered, & I will use deadly force only as a last resort.

http://www.amazon.com/Galaxy-Terror-Movie-Set/dp/B000AM6OWG/ref=pd_ys_iyr13/102-3248997-3312106

May God have mercy on my soul, because I know no one else will.

 :smile: Hi JimH.

The films that I have a problem with are the following, amongst others

The Wilby Conspiracy
Cry Freedom
A Dry White Season
A World Apart
Lethal Weapon 2 (Not actually too bad)
Red Dust
The Power Of One
The Inside
Catch A Fire (Why, Phillip Noyce, why?)  :hatred:

And also any number of BBC, CBS and GranadaTV doccies that highlighted SA's problems while ignoring their own.

Most of these were made by filmmakers who chose to ignore racial inequalities and injustice in their own countries and chose to focus on the supposedly unique problems in South Africa. No, there are much better stories to tell about South Africa.

Noted.

And ordered.

Thanks, and I will probably hate you for this.  :twirl:

This DVD unfortunately is not the 1981 (GALAXY OF TERROR) movie starring Erin Moran, Edward Albert, Ray Walston, Robert Englund, etc.
DK Angel-Disgruntled Amazon Reviewer

I found it pretty funny most of the reviewers were mad this wasn't the movie featuring Joanie Cunningham from TV's Happy Days getting her head squashed and Taaffe O'Connell getting raped by a giant maggot (not Sid Haig).

I applaud your guts Raff, but I also pity you for what you're about to subject yourself to... there are certain things better left alone or discovered by accident and are not to be intentionally pursued. Movies from the Poloniases are one of them.  :bluesad:

Thanks for the warning, anubis, but having watched many Andy Milligan, Al Adamson, Larry Buchanan, Don Dohlmer, Eddie Romero, and Nick Phillips/Millard films I think I'm primed for just about anything. 

I hope...

:buggedout:

[cliche]Famous last words...[/cliche]  :twirl:

After the Polonias films I have my eye on some of those Kirk Cameron 'Left Behind' movies.

You can buy 'em by the pound at our local friendly neighborhood Dollar General store.

Damn, you're brave!  I could NEVER bring myself to sit through those.....I read one of the books because I was sick and that's all that was available, and it was almost as bas as Battlefield Earth.  I think I'd rather be forced to sit and watch a marathon of Pauly Shore's movies than watch any of the Left Behind ones.

The Left Behind flicks make my head hurt. I sat through one and was seconds away from tearing out my fingernails by the time the end credits rolled.

Speaking of Dollar General and cheap-ass religious propaganda disguised as "entertainment", pick up the Mr. T movie about God vs. the American legal system called Judgment. Mr. T, Corben Bersen and the taint of religious fantacism: three strange tastes that... well... see for yourself.  :drink: