|
Title: DUMB FILM you've seen in the last year ? HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 12:27:43 AM I bought a 10 DVD, 20 film, collection for under 6 bux (mentioned in another thread) with at least a few good flix. I've already sat thru two good ones HORROR HOTEL aka CITY OF THE DEAD (1960) and MESSIAH OF EVIL aka DEAD PEOPLE (1973) -- the reason I bought the set. I also sat thru DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973) which I had remembered more fondly than it deserves!
But, the DUMBEST MOVIE I'VE SAT THRU in at least A YEAR has to be THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK (1980 aka LA CASA SPERDUTA NEL PARCO) as directed by Ruggero Deodato and "starring" David Hess as a sleazy cruel rapist (again). I will not reveal details in order to avoid *SPOILERS* for anyone interested in looking at this boring trash. In a psuedo-ripoff of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) this sexploitative junk tries to palm off a very lame "twist ending" to validate it's cheap and cheesy, no-fun cruelty that thankfully includes equally poor effects. This lame-ass copycat of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT fails to register the devastation of that Wes Craven horror that I once again admit to loathing. But, my loathing is based upon that film's cinematic effect upon me, so I cannot fail to recognize that and also, once again, that LAST HOUSE, the inspiration for this HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK garbage, is a very important film. This flick does prove that the success of LAST HOUSE was certainly not so much owed to David Hess. I've sat thru enough turds to write about, but I've written my piece, so what is the DUMBEST FILM YOU'VE SEEN in the last year or EVER whether it be exhibited, rented, purchased, broadcast, or cabled? Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: LilCerberus on May 25, 2007, 01:02:23 AM At this point, I have to mention something else besides that stinkorama from the Polonia Brothers.
Pueblo Sin Suerte I bought this because I'm a fan of Webb Wilder. I'm not sure where to begin with this one, but it looks like the cast didn't have time to rehearse, the director didn't have time or money to reshot even 10 second scenes, and the editting is terrible. Also in the past year, I purchased a copy of Fellini's Casanova. For reasons I cannot comprehend, all the dirty stuff was taken out, along with all of Chesty Morgan's scenes & Casanova's affair with a male castrato. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Oldskool138 on May 25, 2007, 10:01:05 AM I bought a 10 DVD, 20 film, collection for under 6 bux (mentioned in another thread) with at least a few good flix. I've already sat thru two good ones HORROR HOTEL aka CITY OF THE DEAD (1960) and MESSIAH OF EVIL aka DEAD PEOPLE (1973) -- the reason I bought the set. I also sat thru DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973) which I had remembered more fondly than it deserves! HORROR HOTEL (1960) is one of my favorites. It's got a very young (pre-Hammer Flims) Christpoher Lee. The film has kind of a dream-like quality that you don't normally get from horror movies these days. Some of the acting is spotty and the ending is a little contrived but overall, it's a great movie. It's so good, the Misfits wrote a song about it. :teddyr: The dumbest movie(s) I've seen in the past year is...SUBLIME (2007) and DEATH PROOF (2007). Sublime has great cover art and it's billed as a psychological horror movie. It is neither psychological nor horrific. Luckily I watched it with a friend of mine and didn't waste money renting it or (gods forbid) buying it. Bor-ring!!! And when it's not boring it's hitting you over the head with it's moral message. Death Proof was a big let-down for me. Hell, I almost fell alseep in the theater twice (a first for me)! We get it Quentin. You like women's feet! Stop putting them in every freakin' shot! I remember looking forward to snappy and interesting dialouge in QT movies. In this movie it just groups of women going on and on and on about nothing really. Whatever happened to the "Royale with Cheese", "Big Kahuna Burger" and "Tim Roth Dirty Joke Story" style conversations? The only thing good about it is the car crash and Kurt Russel (who is clearly enjoying himself). Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 08:53:16 PM Death Proof was a big let-down for me. Hell, I almost fell alseep in the theater twice (a first for me)! We get it Quentin. You like women's feet! Stop putting them in every freakin' shot! I remember looking forward to snappy and interesting dialouge in QT movies. In this movie it just groups of women going on and on and on about nothing really. Whatever happened to the "Royale with Cheese", "Big Kahuna Burger" and "Tim Roth Dirty Joke Story" style conversations? The only thing good about it is the car crash and Kurt Russel (who is clearly enjoying himself). No one would go look at GRINDHOUSE with me, though I remain fascinated to see PLANET TERROR! I hear nothing much good about DEATH PROOF which certainly sounded interesting enough, with Kurt Russell too. . . I own and enjoy KILL BILL; and though I must recommend some of his films, Tarantino kind of annoys me. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Torgo on May 25, 2007, 10:10:36 PM This thread could be clarified a bit to be in regards to films that are dumb in a good way and those that are dumb in a bad way.
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, which I watched this past week, is dumb in a great way IMO. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 10:29:04 PM This thread could be clarified a bit to be in regards to films that are dumb in a good way and those that are dumb in a bad way. Actually, Torgo, I think it would be way cool if the thread be transmorgified into a discussion of "dumb" films that are awesomely great cinema. Never thought of it that way! :wink: How about twin threads like evil twins, one the good dummies, the other . . . Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, which I watched this past week, is dumb in a great way IMO. My inspiration, THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK is dumb in a bad way. Believe you me, it would have been great if it was dumb in a good way. :tongueout: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: LilCerberus on May 25, 2007, 10:40:07 PM This thread could be clarified a bit to be in regards to films that are dumb in a good way and those that are dumb in a bad way. I just remembered winning a copy of Manos: The Hands of Fate in last summer's proofreading challenge. :smile: Thanks Andrew! :smile: Considering it was a post Polonia viewing, I found it's level of ineptitude quite enjoyable. That moment in the closing credits when the master opens his mouth to shout something right when the lounge singer on the soundtrack starts singing always cracks me up. Also last year, I went to the midnight movies to see The Dark Side of Oz. My psych meds & an extra pack of snuff were a big help during some parts, but on the whole, I found it pretty psychedelic. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 10:53:10 PM This thread could be clarified a bit to be in regards to films that are dumb in a good way and those that are dumb in a bad way. I just remembered winning a copy of Manos: The Hands of Fate in last summer's proofreading challenge. :smile: Thanks Andrew! :smile: Considering it was a post Polonia viewing, I found it's level of ineptitude quite enjoyable. That moment in the closing credits when the master opens his mouth to shout something right when the lounge singer on the soundtrack starts singing always cracks me up. Also last year, I went to the midnight movies to see The Dark Side of Oz. My psych meds & an extra pack of snuff were a big help during some parts, but on the whole, I found it pretty psychedelic. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: zombie no.one on May 25, 2007, 11:07:18 PM Speed 2
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 11:11:16 PM Speed 2 Short and not-so-sweet! :bouncegiggle:Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 25, 2007, 11:30:03 PM HORROR HOTEL (1960) is one of my favorites. It's got a very young (pre-Hammer Flims) Christpoher Lee. Actually, CITY OF THE DEAD aka HORROR HOTEL is after Hammer's HORROR OF DRACULA (1958); THE MUMMY is 1959, all preceding Lee's work in HORROR HOTEL. :smile:Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: zombie no.one on May 25, 2007, 11:36:17 PM Speed 2 Short and not-so-sweet! :bouncegiggle:yeah . really horrible. ...okay let's switch it to a boat, they'll never notice. and lets not have Keanu Reeves in it either they wont notice. the whole film looks like an aborted advertisement for 7Up. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: LilCerberus on May 26, 2007, 12:53:27 AM Hated:
A certain Sacrifice Actually, I had first seen this back in the '80s, & even as a crazy mixed up suicidal kid with a drinking problem, I found it pretentious & stupid. Still, being a crazy mixed up suicidal kid with a drinking problem, I could kinda empathize with Dashil's lament. Of course, it had been about ten years or so since I'd seen this, when I came across a copy on DVD at Big Lot's last year. Seeing this from the perspective of a sober & adjusted guy in a support program in his mid thirties made me see this crap on a whole new level of pretentiousness & inanity, as well as opening my eyes to the sheer ineptitude & complete lack of story. Liked: Merc Force A couple of years ago, I was cross referencing the cast of Burned at the Stake on imdb, when I found this one linked to Janine Babo (the girl who played Dorkess). I followed the links to Ikuzo Studios' website & downloaded a few trailers, which I thought looked okay, despite the low production values. Just enough to make me curious. I found a copy on Amazon a couple of months ago, & wasn't too terribly disappointed (at least, not after sampling the works of the Polonia Brothers). Some of the characters were overdeveloped, while others were underdeveloped, but on the whole, I found it to be a fun little action flick. Perhaps what worked best for me, was the way the cast & crew (some of them with very impressive resume's) didn't take themselves too seriously, giving the sence that they were trying to share in the audience's laughter. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: RCMerchant on May 26, 2007, 05:17:51 AM Dumb in a good way? Night of the LIVING DORKS. Whatta STUPID monie! I loved it! :teddyr:
Dumb in a godawuful,so lame and pathetic I wanna- pull an Elvis and shoot my TV-BIO DOME...with Pauly Shore.Actually,almost every thing with Pauly Shore! :hatred: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Oldskool138 on May 26, 2007, 06:00:52 AM HORROR HOTEL (1960) is one of my favorites. It's got a very young (pre-Hammer Flims) Christpoher Lee. Actually, CITY OF THE DEAD aka HORROR HOTEL is after Hammer's HORROR OF DRACULA (1958); THE MUMMY is 1959, all preceding Lee's work in HORROR HOTEL. :smile:Really? Wow, I guess you learn something new every day. Your Movie-Fu is very strong. :bouncegiggle: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: DodgingGrunge on May 26, 2007, 06:57:49 AM Unfortunately, my chronological memory is only good for maybe one or two weeks past, so I have no way of knowing what happened a year ago.
I revisited The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of Yik Yak recently because I made a reference to it and my girlfriend didn't believe it was a real movie. That certainly qualifies as stupid, but I thought it was thoroughly entertaining. I must say the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie was dumb in an infinitely painful way. Rather than reinventing the format, like Mike Judge did with Beavis and Butthead's feature film, they simply dragged out the same formulaic craziness for 90 minutes, utterly destroying the effect. But I really should owe up to my responsibility in the matter... how good could it have been? :drink: The dumbest [movie] I've seen in the past year is... DEATH PROOF (2007) I actually enjoyed Death Proof. I'm quite surprised at how many people in these forums hated it! Come on, this is Manos territory... surely DP is a *little* better? :teddyr: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Andrew on May 26, 2007, 08:08:57 AM I just remembered winning a copy of Manos: The Hands of Fate in last summer's proofreading challenge. :smile: Thanks Andrew! :smile: A lot of people would find you thanking me for "Manos: The Hands of Fate" to be a counter-intuitive reaction. You are very welcome. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Raffine on May 26, 2007, 08:58:33 AM All a matter of taste, of course:
"GOOD" DUMB GALAXY INVADER Don Dohler's rednecks vs. alien epic. PREYLIEN: ALIEN PREDATORS The Polonia Brothers salute to Don Dohler's favorite plot. Two dumb guys and a suicidal woman battle the goofiest collection of bad monster suits and puppets from the stars ever seen. The main "preylien" is a variation of Ro-Man from ROBOT MONSTER, but this time wearing a bright red vest. "EEEEEYOOP!" "BAD" DUMB SOUND OF THUNDER TRON-like CGI and some of the stupidest and contrary-wise time travel "science" is featured in this adaptation of Ray Bradbury's excellent short story. The one dinosaur sequence is reused more times than the "Grumpy Attacks the Cave" sequence in Land of the Lost. H.G. WELL'S THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (Tim Hines version) Hines' mind and ass numbing loooong movie I guess gets some kudos for literally adapting Well's novel word-for-word, but all that walking and those proudly displayed terrible effects (it reminded me of the way my dad used to make everyone look at his heart surgery scar) turned my mind to mush. I bet a friend of mine, who's a big Wells fan, $5 that he couldn't make it all the way through it. I won. :thumbup: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Derf on May 26, 2007, 09:25:56 AM I have no real concept of time, so asking about the dumbest movie in the last year is a bit much for me. The dumbest movie I have watched recently is The Life Aquatic. I know there are fans of this movie on this board. If you like it, you like it. To me, it was like a comedy for people with no sense of humor but who like to think their sense of humor is so sophisticated that no one else could ever understand it. I did like the names of the sea creatures in the movie, and will admit that they were clever. But the movie itself seemed unable to make up its mind whether it was a comedy, a drama, a relationship piece, a cautionary tale, or whatever else. Yes, some will say, "It is all that and more: you just don't understand!" Okay, maybe I'm missing some grand subtlety (or is that an oxymoron?) in the movie, but it just struck me as boring and largely pointless.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: RCMerchant on May 26, 2007, 09:58:19 AM [quote author=Raffine link=topic=114234.msg144885#msg144885 date=1180187913
SOUND OF THUNDER TRON-like CGI and some of the stupidest and contrary-wise time travel "science" is featured in this adaptation of Ray Bradbury's excellent short story. The one dinosaur sequence is reused more times than the "Grumpy Attacks the Cave" sequence in Land of the Lost. [/quote] Heh,Heh! [youtube=425,350] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6LZzVCpYDY Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Raffine on May 26, 2007, 12:50:27 PM I recently rewatched the first couple of seasons of Land of the Lost on DVD and was glad to see it actually holds up really well. The effects are fine, particularly for a 70's Saturday morning kid's show, and the the writing is surprisingly good, if a bit melodramatic sometimes. Several big name sci-fi writers contributed scripts, and the overall tone of the show was a lot darker than I remembered it.
Bonus! The commentaries by the people who played Will, Holly, and Chukka are hilarious! They sometimes rival prime MST3K. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: BTM on May 26, 2007, 04:41:38 PM I think one of the dumbest films I've sat through this year would be the film Hoot. It's about a boy who moves to Florida where he meets a brother and sister who are trying to keep a land developer from making a new pancake house on the site where several rare owls keep their nests.
There's just WAY too damn many things to say how contrived, cheap and manipulative this piece of drek is, gives a bad name to anything the term "family film." For example The boy (not the main character, but the other one) spends all his time "out in the woods" (where is this kids parents?), and resorts to vandalism and other things to keep the innocent owls free from harm. When the company representative (who, of course, is evil, as all people who run big corporations are) bring out some rottweillers to keep the construction site free of vandals at night, the boy responds by dumping a bag of rattlesnakes into the site. And the rots, who are scared of snakes (huh?) won't stay at the site (or some such.) Not gonna even start with how dumb THAT is. Not to mention the fact what guarantee we have the snakes won't turn around and EAT the freaking owls? The movie's based on the young adult (childrens?) book of the same name, but I'm told the book is a lot better, with the characters not acting like cardboard cutouts. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: DodgingGrunge on May 27, 2007, 01:28:07 AM To me, [The Life Aquatic] was like a comedy for people with no sense of humor but who like to think their sense of humor is so sophisticated that no one else could ever understand it. I call this the Jim Jarmusch Approach to Comedy, of which I am strongly in favor. It is the kind of subtle strange-funny, extremely dry, where your facial muscles are tensed throughout, but you never quite laugh. A lot of Luis Buñuel's French movies play this way as well. Personally, I applaud directors that can pull it off. It is really hard to to tell a two-hour joke with no actual punch line. The experience of the viewer is, of course, emotionally draining so I completely sympathize with people like Derf that dislike it. But I watch so many movies that engender no reaction from me whatsoever; I tend to enjoy experiences like this. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Jack on May 27, 2007, 08:45:24 AM Dukes of Hazard comes to mind. Lets make another Jackass movie, except with a Dodge Charger.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Menard on May 27, 2007, 10:47:04 AM I bought a 10 DVD, 20 film, collection for under 6 bux (mentioned in another thread) with at least a few good flix. I've already sat thru two good ones HORROR HOTEL aka CITY OF THE DEAD (1960) and MESSIAH OF EVIL aka DEAD PEOPLE (1973) -- the reason I bought the set. I also sat thru DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973) which I had remembered more fondly than it deserves! Messiah of Evil has to be one of the most solid sleep inducers it has ever been my displeasure to sleep through; I was out cold within 20 minutes. Horror Hotel was a letdown for me. I think a part of that was the build-up before seeing the movie, as I had heard several good things about it, but it just did not live up to expectations. Not a bad film at all, and very atmospheric, but highly overrated, IMO. I still enjoy Don't Look in the Basement. I find it to be a fun movie, but I can certainly see that it is not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Bad/dumb exercises in futility over the past year: Stephen King's Desperation - A made for TV movie that had me wondering if a 6 year-old wrote it. Is this Stephen King? I had no idea that a tube sock filled with fertilizer could blow up an entire mountain. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - dumb...dumb...dumb...dumb...f$%king dumb. The worst of Power Rangers has more intelligent scripting, and better done stunts than this utter waste of a film. Once Upon a Time in Mexico - Really need to have a long talk with the friend who recommended this. Completely apathetic characters, chaotic storyline, and poorly choreographed action sequences add up to...nothing. How could you go wrong with an all-star line-up like this? This is the answer to that question. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Scott on May 27, 2007, 11:15:51 AM MESSIAH OF EVIL is a bad one Menard. What a bore and I put up with the likes of ATOMIC AGE VAMPIRE. Both boring bad.
I actually like HORROR HOTEL. Wouldn't mind seeing it again. Found the Trailer for anyone interested and this is another you can find cheap. [youtube=425,350]http://youtube.com/watch?v=VF8PaKcJNWQ DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT is ultra low-budget, but it's ok. Worth a look and you can get a copy cheap. As for Dumb films I've seen this year. Well.......I've seen alot of them. Might have to make a list :smile: and seperate them like Raffine did. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 27, 2007, 01:02:28 PM Messiah of Evil has to be one of the most solid sleep inducers it has ever been my displeasure to sleep through; I was out cold within 20 minutes. Interestingly, my first pass at MESSIAH OF EVIL (which I remembered more fondly being called DEAD PEOPLE) did put me to sleep in about 20 minutes; however, my interest in re-watching this was for very fond memories of seeing it on a double bill about 30 years ago, and spooked by it then. It's not a very good movie, but for me, it might as well be "background music" as it's all about atmosphere. I like the eerie paintings in the father's studio, I like the creepy music, strange shots like the first woman walking thru the dark construction site, Elisha Cook Jr. at the beginning. Horror Hotel was a letdown for me. I think a part of that was the build-up before seeing the movie, as I had heard several good things about it, but it just did not live up to expectations. Not a bad film at all, and very atmospheric, but highly overrated, IMO. I remember HORROR HOTEL (City of the Dead) from over 40 years ago, when my siblings and I found this quite enthralling. The same night I put on MESSIAH, I put this disc on too. I hadn't looked at it in decades, but though I woke up just as they were cutting the birthday cake... :teddyr: I gave this one another try and found it acceptable, well remembered, but certainly creaky. I still enjoy Don't Look in the Basement. I find it to be a fun movie, but I can certainly see that it is not going to be everyone's cup of tea. DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT had been a staple of WPIX, channel 9 out of New York in the 70s, it might have been CHILLER, so I sat thru BASEMENT back then at least a few times. It is, of course, completely implausible (that the old woman didn't die of shock and lack of medical attention for one thing!) Z'okay. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Oldskool138 on May 27, 2007, 01:33:48 PM It's Christopher Lee's birthday today!!! 85 years young... :buggedout:
Good to see him still making films. You have Tim Burton thank for that. He was semi-retired when Burton wanted him to play a judge in SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999). Cheers, Mr. Lee! Happy Birthday and hopefully many more to come! :cheers: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: hipsterical on May 27, 2007, 02:02:00 PM Everyone who watched "starcrash" knows how good italian filmmakers are when a really crappy movie is needed .
in my opinion the worst movie ever is "CYBORG, GUERRIERO D'ACCIAIO" ( something like "steel warrior") . it sucks so bad it is hard to believe and you can trust me. the "cyborg make-up kit" is more than the average bad movie enthusiast can take. another pearl is "LA CROCE DALLE SETTE PIETRE" ("Seven-jewel cross", maybe ?) i wont tell you much about this movie, it only tells the story of a werewolf who battles the camorra (mafia of Naples, ve've got galore of those) because they stole his precious talisman. it is a horror movie but most of the time you may believe it is a somewhat black comedy. the opening scene of a satanic orgy. i cried looking at the special effects. look and die. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Menard on May 27, 2007, 03:07:50 PM DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT had been a staple of WPIX, channel 9 out of New York in the 70s, it might have been CHILLER, so I sat thru BASEMENT back then at least a few times. It is, of course, completely implausible (that the old woman didn't die of shock and lack of medical attention for one thing!) Z'okay. The entire premise of Don't Look is, as you said, completely implausible. A doctor runs an asylum solo, with the only other keyholder to the place being a patient themselves. Of course, this is why we have a pretty blonde nurse show up and be befuddled by the insanity. I had first seen this in the early 80s on a late, late show (they came on at 1:00 a.m.). It was a fun, very low budget, b-movie romp which, unfortunately, led the way for movies beginning with the word Don't. The ultimate torture of the Don't movies to me was either Don't Go in the Woods or Don't Go in the House. They should have made a retrospective of the Don't movies themselves and called it Don't Go in the Theatre. :teddyr: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: JaseSF on May 27, 2007, 05:44:58 PM Most likely KING OF THE LOST WORLD from 2005.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Dylan on May 27, 2007, 07:29:29 PM Copper Mountain - Stay away from this movie
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: KYGOTC on May 27, 2007, 11:07:51 PM DATE MOVIE. Didnt even have to think very long on that one. ALL those movies are crap.
(all those movies meaning scary movie, epic movie, teen movie, ect.) Ya know what? Those guys would have made NO movies if there were nothing to base them on. Most unoriginal movies Ive EVER seen. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: LilCerberus on May 28, 2007, 12:13:13 AM This evening, I went to Project Resolution at The FireHouse Theatre for the first time.
It's a monthly open forum for local student films, shorts, etc. The last guy presented this [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv2v98TsMn0 Then, he showed a preview for an upcoming Troma release (sorry- couldn't find a video) called Sally Likes Lobsters Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: RCMerchant on May 28, 2007, 07:17:45 AM DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT had been a staple of WPIX, channel 9 out of New York in the 70s, it might have been CHILLER, so I sat thru BASEMENT back then at least a few times. It is, of course, completely implausible (that the old woman didn't die of shock and lack of medical attention for one thing!) Z'okay. The entire premise of Don't Look is, as you said, completely implausible. A doctor runs an asylum solo, with the only other keyholder to the place being a patient themselves. Of course, this is why we have a pretty blonde nurse show up and be befuddled by the insanity. I had first seen this in the early 80s on a late, late show (they came on at 1:00 a.m.). It was a fun, very low budget, b-movie romp which, unfortunately, led the way for movies beginning with the word Don't. The ultimate torture of the Don't movies to me was either Don't Go in the Woods or Don't Go in the House. They should have made a retrospective of the Don't movies themselves and called it Don't Go in the Theatre. :teddyr: DON"T LOOK in the BASEMENT is on the my TOP 10 list of favorite horror movies of the 70's! I own it on an old Gorgon Video and a cheap dollar store DVD. The ending,with the credits naming the stars(?) next to pictures of their dead bodies(!) is classick! Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Texdar on May 29, 2007, 03:43:25 AM I can usually find a bit of something entertaining in almost any movie but then I saw Epic Movie and realize there is always exceptions.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Ed, Ego and Superego on May 30, 2007, 01:29:42 PM I watched Smokin Aces. It was a tiny shred of good idea buried in a big old heap of noise and blood.
-Ed Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: KYGOTC on May 30, 2007, 02:39:18 PM I can usually find a bit of something entertaining in almost any movie but then I saw Epic Movie and realize there is always exceptions. thank you. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Vultur on May 31, 2007, 12:15:40 PM SUPERCROC (2007 one, not the 2001 documentary). This ...
Also, how does a 100-foot croc weigh 10,000 tons? Is this the new "Depleted Uranium Crocodile" or something? Aaaaaghhhhh! To add insult to injury, there isn't even much action!!!! A total junk movie can be mindless fun if there's enough action ... this fails even at that. I didn't like this ... and I LOVE dumb big-killer-beast movies! I even put a comment on the IMDB entry for this movie talking about how bad it was. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on May 31, 2007, 11:34:57 PM SUPERCROC (2007 one, not the 2001 documentary). This ... I hope it is polite for me to welcome you Vultur; I started this thread but am but a novice here on this website myself. I am glad to report that I have not seen SUPERCROC and will certainly avoid it. :wink:Also, how does a 100-foot croc weigh 10,000 tons? Is this the new "Depleted Uranium Crocodile" or something? Aaaaaghhhhh! To add insult to injury, there isn't even much action!!!! A total junk movie can be mindless fun if there's enough action ... this fails even at that. I didn't like this ... and I LOVE dumb big-killer-beast movies! I even put a comment on the IMDB entry for this movie talking about how bad it was. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: LilCerberus on May 31, 2007, 11:44:59 PM Dang!
I've been so obsessed with those Polonia Brothers the past year, I darned near forgot about that Phantom Menacers three pack dullarama I picked up at Big Lot's last summer. One of which, The Phantom From Space, is where I found my avatar. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: peter johnson on June 03, 2007, 02:11:23 AM SHARK ATTACK 3 :hot:
SHARK ATTACK 3!!!! :hot: SHARK ATTACK THREEEEEEE !!!! :hot: * * * Seriously . . . Worst/Dumbest/Most strangely . . . "other" film I've seen so far this year -- Peter Johnson . . .Denny Crane . . . Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: HarlotBug3 on June 04, 2007, 06:08:31 PM I have to put myself a little farther back, as I'm still realing from a close tie between 'The Uninvited" (1987) and "Q: The Winged Serpent" (one lol bad one wtf bad).
Last year I did what I almost NEVER do: I turned a movie off before the end, tired of waiting for it to be worth my time. I normally say this nullifies any review, but I’m entirely confident here: Britney, Baby, One More Time (I will be utterly shocked if I have to be the first to review this for badmovies.org) is an attempt to capitalize on the hilarious and I’d dare say brilliant “American Movie,” a tribute to the mockumenterary genre. The premise is that the leads from AM (pretending to play themselves like some tragic Jay&silentbob ripoff) convince a male Britney impersonator to give them an interview posing as the real thing. It sounds like it could be funny, and it could be, with a time machine to put a bullet in the “creator’s” head before he could forever pollute the uni-mind. It wasn’t ‘funny’ bad, it was ‘whoever gave these talentless hacks’ money for this should be forced to live on the streets for a while’ bad. Runner up is another pitiful attempt at mockumenterary, “Comic Book the Movie” with Mark Hammel (yes, that Mark Hammel). Moral: That funny dialog that’s funny because it seems natural? It isn’t funny if it doesn’t seem AT ALL natural. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Shadow on June 04, 2007, 11:12:15 PM A cheap-ass Troma film called The Legend of the Chupacabra.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Ted C on June 05, 2007, 10:40:18 AM The SciFi channel's version of Beowulf was about as awful as anything I've seen recently, and I saw Bloodrayne just last week. Seriously, can't anyone do a little research on the story and try to get it right? Is it really necessary to insert a crossbow-come-rocket-launcher into the mix?
Teh stoopid! It burnz us! Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Andrew on June 05, 2007, 12:17:08 PM The SciFi channel's version of Beowulf was about as awful as anything I've seen recently, and I saw Bloodrayne just last week. Seriously, can't anyone do a little research on the story and try to get it right? Is it really necessary to insert a crossbow-come-rocket-launcher into the mix? Teh stoopid! It burnz us! You mean the 1999 film with Christopher Lambert? Trying to adapt myself to the cyberpunk / medieval setting never worked for me either. A review of this one is coming in the next few months. I will say that Grendel's mom is a MILF in that one. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Fausto on June 07, 2007, 07:58:24 PM But, the DUMBEST MOVIE I'VE SAT THRU in at least A YEAR has to be THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK (1980 aka LA CASA SPERDUTA NEL PARCO) as directed by Ruggero Deodato and "starring" David Hess as a sleazy cruel rapist (again). I will not reveal details in order to avoid *SPOILERS* for anyone interested in looking at this boring trash. In a psuedo-ripoff of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) this sexploitative junk tries to palm off a very lame "twist ending" to validate it's cheap and cheesy, no-fun cruelty that thankfully includes equally poor effects. This lame-ass copycat of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT fails to register the devastation of that Wes Craven horror that I once again admit to loathing. But, my loathing is based upon that film's cinematic effect upon me, so I cannot fail to recognize that and also, once again, that LAST HOUSE, the inspiration for this HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK garbage, is a very important film. This flick does prove that the success of LAST HOUSE was certainly not so much owed to David Hess. Saw this one last night. Wasnt nearly as offended as you seem to be, though I havent seen LAST HOUSE, so I cant compare the two. It struck me as nothing more than a cheezy porn film disguised as a slasher flick (notice that, with the exception of the infamous "nude razor" scene, most of the actual sex scenes are consentual and initiated by the woman, female dominance being a popular aspect of 70's porn - see Deep Throat and anything by Russ Meyer). Title: SPOILERS Post by: Allhallowsday on June 07, 2007, 08:20:06 PM Saw this one last night. Wasnt nearly as offended as you seem to be, though I havent seen LAST HOUSE, so I cant compare the two. It struck me as nothing more than a cheezy porn film disguised as a slasher flick (notice that, with the exception of the infamous "nude razor" scene, most of the actual sex scenes are consentual and initiated by the woman, female dominance being a popular aspect of 70's porn - see Deep Throat and anything by Russ Meyer). I was offended by LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, but felt that THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK was just DUMB. It occurs to me there could be different cuts. I could not misunderstand the opening scene where the woman's car is blocked, David Hess enters hers, rips off her clothes, and strangles her during a rape (though thankfully unconvincing.) The "nude razor" scene should have been when a certain surprise was revealed along with a handgun but that would have spoiled the fun . . . and another half hour of this dumbness. David Hess' moronic friend does molest the one woman who later seems to take a fancy to him, but I don't need to count that count either. :teddyr:I cannot recommend LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, but expect if you sat through it, you would see the similarities, and not just the name, but also the key differences. For one, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is seriously disturbing and a landmark film in the history of cinema. HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF is like something you might step in in THE PARK. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: DodgingGrunge on June 08, 2007, 06:33:36 AM ...see Deep Throat and anything by Russ Meyer. If one was watching a trailer montage, maybe. But Deep Throat and the films of Russ Meyer have a distinctly upbeat, humorous quality to them. The dialog is clever, tongue-in-cheek, and the sex is silly. It is a disservice to compare them to giallo schlock like House on the Edge of the Park, which use shock and cruelty to compensate for every conceivable budgetary shortfall. The Ilsa movies are a more logical comparison, and while I never thought I'd say this, they are better done. :lookingup: My dislike of House is not some prudish objection to its immoral content. Rather, it is the film's inability to use its tastelessness in conjunction with other story-telling attributes (interesting characters, plot, etc). And for Deodato, this was simply a miserable effort. His opus, Cannibal Holocaust, is, if anything, more offensive because the viewer's sense of reality is so much greater. And really, empathy is the elusive ingredient that most titles in this exploitation horror genre are missing. People could relate to the parents in Last House on the Left. Hell, at the midnight movies people cheered as revenge was taken! The same is true for Craven's Hills Have Eyes, Hooper's Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Meir Zarchi's Day of the Woman, and so on. Shock is a wonderful and important tool for independent filmmakers. But as with any recipe, one must balance the ingredients to create a meaningful dish. Unfortunately, Italian Seasoning is just not as good as minced garlic and fresh oregano. Mmmm... now I've put myself in the mood to watch Felicia's Journey. Haha. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Ted C on June 08, 2007, 01:54:45 PM The SciFi channel's version of Beowulf was about as awful as anything I've seen recently, and I saw Bloodrayne just last week. Seriously, can't anyone do a little research on the story and try to get it right? Is it really necessary to insert a crossbow-come-rocket-launcher into the mix? Teh stoopid! It burnz us! You mean the 1999 film with Christopher Lambert? Trying to adapt myself to the cyberpunk / medieval setting never worked for me either. A review of this one is coming in the next few months. I will say that Grendel's mom is a MILF in that one. Not the same film, although I'll agree that the Christopher Lambert film is similarly horrendous. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on June 08, 2007, 11:12:32 PM Is that Raul Julia I see TED C?
(http://a358.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/23/l_c402daf6612d57e0f98fb32469bed915.jpg) The late, the great, saw him on stage in MAN OF LA MANCHA. Probably my favorite actor and I admire many. Let me be the first to applaud you. Welcome! :smile: Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Evan on June 20, 2007, 07:10:04 PM The worst movie ive seen in a while was Team America. Granted, it was funny, but it has no point.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Amontillado on June 20, 2007, 07:35:45 PM (http://a358.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/23/l_c402daf6612d57e0f98fb32469bed915.jpg)
What's the matter? You come to fight a madman, and instead you find a god?! (http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/1/1f/300px-Van_Damme_as_Guile.jpg) Who's going home...and who's coming with ME?!?! I don't care, Street Fighter kicks ass! Back on point, I remember the Garbage Pail Kids Movie was one of my favorites when I was a kid. I rented it around two months ago, and it was truly the dumbest and most disappointing movie possibly ever. Why don't they remake that, and leave Near Dark alone? Also, The House at the Edge of the Park was better than Hostel. You may all boo-hiss me now. Eli Roth is a disappointment. Potential coming out of his ears and nothing. A pretty cool trailer for a movie that doesn't exist. Oh, and BloodRayne... (http://inflash.com/listthumbs/7927.jpg) Worst video game movie ever! Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: MillionaireWaltz on June 20, 2007, 09:31:48 PM For a bad dumb movie, it was THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL. I had to watch it with a cousin once, and I was cringing. I know it's for kids, but kids' movies should be enjoyable for adults, too!
A good dumb movie for me was BASKET CASE. The premise is silly, but it's very fun to watch. I haven't seen the sequels yet, though. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: KYGOTC on June 20, 2007, 10:50:25 PM [Back on point, I remember the Garbage Pail Kids Movie was one of my favorites when I was a kid. I rented it around two months ago, and it was truly the dumbest and most disappointing movie possibly ever. Why don't they remake that, and leave Near Dark alone? ([url]http://inflash.com/listthumbs/7927.jpg[/url]) Worst video game movie ever! Ive been going back and fourth on buying this. Its at a mall by my house. I would have bought it already, but its 20 bucks! With all the bad things im hearing about it, im NOT paying 20 bucks for it, but id still like to see it. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: indianasmith on June 21, 2007, 07:55:32 AM I've recenyly started watching some of the releases from Brain Damage Films. They are pretty much hit or miss - a couple of gems (DEATH FACTORY and CADAVERELLA), and a lot of dreck. But the WORST of the lot was a truly atrocious film called PONY TROUBLE - it is one of the dumbest and most pointless movies I have EVER seen! Please, for the love of B-movies, avoid this film at all costs! :hot:
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Amontillado on June 21, 2007, 02:26:42 PM KYGOTC
Definitely DON'T spend $20 on Garbage Pail Kids. It's got a little, tiny bit of charm to it if you were into the trading cards when you were a kid, but...eh... The last scene is decent, and there are a few small sporadic laughs here and there. There is just too much waiting for anything remotely cool or funny to happen. I would rent it first if you're at all interested. Still, I don't think anyone in their right mind should pay anything close to $20 for it. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Andrew on June 21, 2007, 02:35:20 PM KYGOTC Definitely DON'T spend $20 on Garbage Pail Kids. It's got a little, tiny bit of charm to it if you were into the trading cards when you were a kid, but...eh... The last scene is decent, and there are a few small sporadic laughs here and there. There is just too much waiting for anything remotely cool or funny to happen. I would rent it first if you're at all interested. Still, I don't think anyone in their right mind should pay anything close to $20 for it. I agree, this one is terrible. My review for it is coming, probably in August. You can tell that people who normally make baseball cards and stuff gum into wrappers suddenly lost their mind and tried to make a movie. In some ways, a bunch of high school students could have made a better film using bobble heads. The characters would have looked the same. Oh, and I spent the entire film in terror. I feared that Anthony Newley was going to put his bare a** in the camera. (You'd have to have seen "Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?" to understand my fear.) Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Amontillado on June 21, 2007, 03:10:44 PM I also just remembered another childhood favorite gone horribly wrong.
About two months ago I caught The Last Unicorn on Showtime. There were three animated movies from my youth with similar animation styles: The Flight of Dragons, The Hobbit, and The Last Unicorn. I remember seeing them a lot and really liking all of them. I own The Hobbit and Dragons (which is my favorite animated movie) but I hadn't seen TLU in over a decade. Man... I wish I hadn't. I almost cried it was so utterly atrocious. The script was the most inane piece of dribble conceivable. It made Ishtar look like Citizen Kane. Despite having a cast of Alan Arkin, Mia Farrow, Jeff Bridges, and Christopher Lee, the voice acting was duller than a crack-head with safety scissors. Stephen Hawking could have voiced it with more feeling. Oh, and the music... huarggggghh... vomit inducing. I guess the movies you remember seeing as a child are always hit or miss. As for The Last Unicorn I'll let my aforementioned crack-head friend sum it up: [youtube=225,150]http://youtube.com/watch?v=AgAygRUK3gg Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Amontillado on June 21, 2007, 03:20:34 PM For a bad dumb movie, it was THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL. I had to watch it with a cousin once, and I was cringing. I know it's for kids, but kids' movies should be enjoyable for adults, too! A good dumb movie for me was BASKET CASE. The premise is silly, but it's very fun to watch. I haven't seen the sequels yet, though. Does anyone else find it a bit odd that Spike TV gave a lifetime achievement award for horror to the man who directed Shark Boy and Lava Girl, a one Robert Rodriguez? I thought that was pretty funny seeing as, at the time, he had only one horror film under his belt and now, after Grindhouse has two. Basket Case is phenomenal. Frank Henenlotter is a friggin' b-movie genius. I can't get enough of that movie. I already wore out my VHS, had to get the DVD. Ah, I was going to anyway. If you liked that one, check out Brain Damage (it's a bit hard to find, but very well worth it) and Frankenhooker. They're both reviewed quite well on the site. I recommend Basket Case 2, the third one...eh...kinda weak. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Midnightxpress on June 23, 2007, 03:53:49 PM Two Words: Ice Spiders
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Torgo on June 25, 2007, 09:44:34 PM One I just saw last week:
HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID ROW SLASHER! Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Shadow on June 25, 2007, 10:00:23 PM Two Words: Ice Spiders My wife has a mild case of arachnophobia, so I was forbidden from watching this one. From what I hear, that was probably a good thing. :teddyr: I called her a wuss, by the way, since I have a MAJOR case of arachnophobia. It's so bad that just seeing a spider crawling nearby will almost cause instant heart failure. And if I find one on me? People on fire would be considered calm, cool and collected in comparison to my spastic dance of panic. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on June 26, 2007, 05:31:26 PM ...I have a MAJOR case of arachnophobia. It's so bad that just seeing a spider crawling nearby will almost cause instant heart failure. And if I find one on me? People on fire would be considered calm, cool and collected in comparison to my spastic dance of panic. I'm a bit afraid of spiders myself, but I will not kill one, just shoo them away. Unless, of course, I found one of these in my basement . . . (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Black_Widow_11-06.jpg) Which reminds me of other dumb movies like KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS . . . Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Raffine on June 26, 2007, 05:59:26 PM Quote Which reminds me of other dumb movies like KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS . . . My favorite really bad/dumb giant spider flick has to be THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION starring Alan "The Skipper" Hale, Jr. and some VW Bugs imaginatively costumed as the giant spiders. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on June 26, 2007, 06:15:19 PM Quote Which reminds me of other dumb movies like KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS . . . My favorite really bad/dumb giant spider flick has to be THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION starring Alan "The Skipper" Hale, Jr. and some VW Bugs imaginatively costumed as the giant spiders. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: MeanStreaka4337 on June 27, 2007, 09:22:04 AM Epic Movie. That is all.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Bill C. on June 27, 2007, 12:09:55 PM Out of everything I saw in the last twelve calendar months?
Hands down: Ultraviolet. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Raffine on June 27, 2007, 02:32:54 PM Quote Now that one sounds like fun! It is, even the non-MST3K version. This is the one with the infamous scene where the woman accidently makes herself a spider milkshake. For once a film's tagline "There Has Never Been a Film Like This Before!" is 100% true. Note for classic TV fans: Not only does it star The Skipper as the local sherrif (he even calls one character "Little Buddy") the intrepid lady doctor heroine (NOT the blonde in the Daisy Dukes, the one in the nice pants suit) is played by Barbara Hale, Della Street on the old Perry Mason series. Here's the trailer: [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bksvon-hSDM The whole MST3K version is available in bits and pieces on YouTube as well. "PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL!" Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Goji_girl on June 27, 2007, 03:21:11 PM I think that Eight legged freaks was a dumb movie. The effects were good (accept when they had the rubber spider arms thrown at that guy, what's up with that?) but it was like no one really took anything seriously. Some guy who works the mine blew into a tube to get it unclogged but all these spiders crawled into his mouth. It was NARSTY!
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Doc Daneeka on June 27, 2007, 03:25:43 PM Quote I think that Eight legged freaks was a dumb movie. The effects were good (accept when they had the rubber spider arms thrown at that guy, what's up with that?) but it was like no one really took anything seriously. Some guy who works the mine blew into a tube to get it unclogged but all these spiders crawled into his mouth. It was NARSTY! It was supposed to be a semi-comedyTitle: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Goji_girl on June 27, 2007, 03:33:51 PM Quote I think that Eight legged freaks was a dumb movie. The effects were good (accept when they had the rubber spider arms thrown at that guy, what's up with that?) but it was like no one really took anything seriously. Some guy who works the mine blew into a tube to get it unclogged but all these spiders crawled into his mouth. It was NARSTY! It was supposed to be a semi-comedytrue, but I didn't find it quite funny. Fright Night was funny. Eight legged freaks didn't get better. It just solidified. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: metalthrashinmad on June 28, 2007, 03:57:10 PM Anarchist Cookbook....the movie wanted to make me rip out my eyeballs.
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Kooshmeister on June 28, 2007, 06:39:11 PM Time of the Apes. Granted, it's several episodes of a television series edited together into one "film," but regardless, if there was anything in the original show that explained what the hell was going on and what was up with that flying saucer, then Sandy Frank cut it out, making one seriously confusing movie. I really, really felt sorry for poor Godo. He risks his life to save the woman and the two kids and then has to spend eternity wandering a desert (at least, that's the impression I got).
Generally speaking, I can actually watch a lot of the movies featured on MST by themselves. Gorgo, Mitchell, the Godzilla movies, and anything by Bert I. Gordon; Time of the Apes is one I knew I would not be able to sit through without a wisecracking human and two robots. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Allhallowsday on June 28, 2007, 06:52:10 PM Quote Now that one sounds like fun! It is, even the non-MST3K version. This is the one with the infamous scene where the woman accidently makes herself a spider milkshake. For once a film's tagline "There Has Never Been a Film Like This Before!" is 100% true. Note for classic TV fans: Not only does it star The Skipper as the local sherrif (he even calls one character "Little Buddy") the intrepid lady doctor heroine (NOT the blonde in the Daisy Dukes, the one in the nice pants suit) is played by Barbara Hale, Della Street on the old Perry Mason series. Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: CheezeFlixz on June 28, 2007, 07:35:26 PM Farce of the Penguin .... :thumbdown:
Title: Re: DUMBEST FILM you've seen in the last year ? Post by: Raffine on June 29, 2007, 02:39:42 PM ALONE IN THE DARK (2005)
What's director Uwe Boll's epic all about? Well... In 1967, mine workers discovered the first remnants of a long lost Native American civilization - The Abkani. The Abkani believed that there are two worlds on this planet, a world of light and a world of darkness. 10,000 years ago the Abkani opened a gate between these worlds. Before they could close it, something evil slipped through. The Abkani mysteriously vanished from the Earth. Only a few artifacts remained, hidden in the world's most remote places. These artifacts speak of terrifying creatures that thrive in the darkness, waiting for the day when the gate can be opened again. Bureau 713, the government's paranormal research agency, was established to uncover the dark secrets of this lost civilization. Under the direction of archaeologist Lionel Hudgens, Bureau 713 began collecting Abkani artifacts. When the government shut down his controversial research, Hudgens built a laboratory hidden within an abandonded gold mine. There, he conducted savage experiments on orphaned children in an attempt to merge man with creature. Hudgens victims survived as "sleepers" - lost souls awaiting the moment of their calling. I heard that Uwe Boll character really must be a tool. I heard if you give his movies a bad review he'll punch you in the head. Boll challenged his critics in June 2006 to "put up or shut up". His production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his 5 harshest critics each to a 10 round boxing match. To be eligible, the critic must have written two extremely negative reviews of Boll, in print or on the Web, in 2005. Footage of the fights will be included in his upcoming film Postal. Here's a great quote from the master, when asked about how game developers are involved in the making of his movie Postal: "Yeah they were very involved, this time too much involved, I wrote the script, it's their baby. They liked the treatment, but they didn't like the approach of some stuff, they thought it was too funny, but I said the only way to tell a story like Postal is to do it funny let people laugh. I don't want a movie like Taxi Driver where a guy is killing everybody, too many movies like that. Postal is a movie where everybody is running amok everyone has good reasons to run amok from the Welfare office guy to the Police officer. Coming up in two to three weeks, they will be really happy, like our cast... I think it will be hilarious." And the best Uwe Boll quote: "You see what happens when people get hit in the head? They like my movies!" Thanks (?) to Trevor for bringing Uwe Boll to my attention. Are we sure his original last name wasn't Polonia? Title: SLEEPAWAY CAMP Post by: Allhallowsday on June 30, 2007, 03:56:12 PM Well I've looked at another dumb film, SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983) which I had seen way back when thru video rental, and must have blocked it out of my memory. I sat thru all of it on IFC (of all places) I knew exactly where it was going including it's deep dark, dank, secret ... each cheapo horrible murder, that wreck of a Camp Director Mel (Mike Kellin who died the year this film was made) the flipped out mother, the clueless stepbrother, boy, I'm making this silly movie sound good... the hideous, implausible, and unconvincing abuse heaped on one camper relates the message you are most certainly probably right to heap abuse on the quiet shy types. I will say that the ending remains seriously creepy, but not in any good way.
(http://a355.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/121/l_21774c5b906e25ed000eac628cc4e16a.jpg) |