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Was listening to some 80s rock lately, and came across a couple of lines that always crack me up.

The first one just kind of makes me giggle, because I have a filthy mind. It's from Winger's I Need You Now.

"It's still hard at six o'clock in the morning"

No wonder he needs her now. Wouldn't this be a great song for a Viagra commercial?

The other is perhaps one of the finest examples of the kind of sexual innuendo that heavy metal bands did so well. Although few can compare to Warrant's Cherry Pie.

"I mixed up the batter and she licked the beater"

Cracks me up every time. That line (that whole song) could almost pass for a Spinal Tap parody.

Anybody else got favourite funny song lyrics. Unintentionally funny is best, of course.

"I don't know where I'm goin', but I sure know where I've been." 
Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

Unintentionally funny to me, I wonder if Coverdale feels he's important for that bit of knowledge.

"As we taxied down the runway I can hear the people shout, they say don't come back here Yankee but if I ever do, I'll bring more money..." 
Don Henley - All She Wants To Do Is Dance

This one always makes me smile.   :thumbup:

"...Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song...every rose has its thorn"

Poison- Every Rose Has its thorn.

It's just such dumb lyric, that I can't help but chuckle every time I hear it. 

 Any RAMONES song.

  And this...God forgive me...I...I...couldn't...resist...

   [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04wfmIoHoq0

   I'm sorry...so...sorry...

 

"...the words get stuck in my throat... the words get stuck in my throat ... !"  She's lucky she didn't get stuck in no GARGANTUA's throat !!  Who can forget that ditty???   :teddyr:  My siblings and I ate that up with a spoon...
To tell the truth, most of the lyrics on this album make me laugh and you know how I love it:

(http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff259/allhallowsday/STOOGESfirst.jpg)
"Can I come over tonight?  Can I come over tonight?  Well do you think I wanna do that's right?  Can I come over tonight?  I say we will have a real cool time tonight... I say we will have a real cool time tonight... I say we will have a real cool time ... I say we will have a real cool time tonight... I say we will have a real cool time tonight... we will have a real cool time... we will have a cool time...a real cool time...tonight... "   :thumbup:

I got one, but it's got cursing.  It's Drips by Eminem featuring Obie Trice.

Part of the verse by Obie:

"...she foaming at the lips,
the one between her hips.
Pubic hair lookin' like some sour cream dip,
without the nachoes.
My dick hit the spot though,
p***y tighter than conditions of us black folks..."

Once again, I apologize for the explitives, but I thought it was funny.

Also, listen to Eminem's "As the World Turns" and Criminal.

"Like A Virgin" by Madonna.

Eeeyeah. When exactly did you last feel that way, Madonna? When you were twelve?

A lot of Alkaline Trio's lyrics bring a wry smile to my lips - one of the lines from 'Stupid Kid' always gets a good laugh

"Why is it that you had to say goodbye in your special way?
...you slashed the tyres on my car."

Any thing by the CRAMPS!!! Here they are doing Tennage Goo-Goo Muck!!!

 [youtube=425,350] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7RVymaTMkc

  Simply incurabley insane!!!

The Cramps are always fun to listen to.

Back in the early '90s, that song by Right Said Fred & Vibology by Paula Abdul used to crack me up.

"Daddy says she too young but shes old enough for me"
Winger-Seventeen (still a disturbing song)


"I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own Wookie..."
The Bloodhound Gang - Fire Water Burn (the Bloodhound Gang are loaded with lyrics that are laughable but this is my favorite)

  [youtube=425,350] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tBaMlAUj08

..." it doesn't matter,I'll probally get hit by a car anyway."  :bouncegiggle:

All I WANTED WAS A PEPSI! JUST ONE PEPSI!!!

That one always makes me laugh. 


Another thing I thought of, I always laugh at David Lee Roth's spoken parts in songs. 

"No no no no, don't take em off...leave em on leave em on..."

"Jesus Was Way Cool" by King Missile. Gotta love em.

30,000 pounds of bananas by Harry Chapin.

My personal favorite lyric of "Fire Water Burn" is

"...and Webster, yeah, Emmanuel Lewis, cause he's the Anti-Christ".   :teddyr:

"I want a fat girl
An f-a-t fat girl
Calories are where it's at girl
What you think about that girl?
A fat girl

I want a fat girl
An f-a-t girl
Atkins Diet is whack girl
What you think about that girl?
I want a fat girl"

There's a bunch of good lines in this song, but that's the chorus.

It's "Fat Girl" by Loose Cannons

This Linkin Park Parody:

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYNRhzX6gw8

Marcy PlayGround - Sex and Candy
Primus - The Air is Getting Slippery
The Beat Farmers - Happy Boy
Scott Langencamp - Moose in my house

BIG L is my favourite for funny lyrics. they're intentional though...

"I put his brains on the street/
Now you can see what he was just thinking"

-

"I knocked out so many teeth/
The tooth-fairy went bankrupt"

-

"I wasn't 'poor', I was po'... I couldn't afford the 'o-r' "

-

"My girls are like boomerangs/
No matter how far I throw them, they come back"

-

"A girl asked me for a ring/
So I put one around her whole eye"

-

"Ask Beavis...I get nothing but head" (Butthead)

agree with bloodhound gang they were good with funny lyrics as well, lately they've been crap though! (IMO)

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying-Bloodhound gang

I swear, the first time I heard this song I laughed so hard I puked.

-and-

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors
say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are
doing to the soil?
Stuart- The Dead Milkmen

Pretty much anything by The Dead Milkmen makes me giggle.

Furnace Face. Especially "My Girlfriend Thinks She's Fat".

Maybe I'll sound weird, but a lot of ICP's lyrics make me laugh. I quote some from the memory, so please forgive.

"Let's see, hm. Well I have to think about it. I might show up in a tux HA! but i doubt it. I'd probably show naked like I always do. Look in your mum's eye and say "F*CK YOU!" (...) I'd start stare at your sister, I'd tell you this, that for 13 she's got some big t*ts"  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Maybe it's a but offensive, but it makes me cry from laughter

"I wanna grow my hair to the sky" - some Cinderella song



EVERY Wesley Willis song.

I appluad Shadow for making my day. Linkin Park is an over-rated boy band. Funny as heck dude. :thumbup: :bouncegiggle:

seeing as bloodhound gang figured a bit tin this thread, I just remembered my favourite jimmy-pop couplet:

"I hate Jon Bon Jovi / but I hate his music more"

nice nice nice :thumbup:

"Life's short and hard like a bodybuilding elf, so save the planet and kill yourself."
Lift Your Head Up High and Blow Your Brains Out by Bloodhound Gang

"You're a mix between an Ugnaut, and Eugene Levy"
You're Pretty When I'm Drunk by Bloodhound Gang

And pretty much the entire song She Ain't Got No Legs by Bloodhound Gang.

"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big & Rich has some great ones, ie, the use of "bling bling" as a verb,

"Well I don't give a dang about nothin' /  I'm singin' and bling--blingin' "

or of course that verse that begins with

"I'm a thoroughbred / that's wut she said/ in the back o' mah truck bed"

and ends with

"and sang her every Willie Nelson song I know, an' we made LOVE!"

Country music abounds with painfully badly written (and delivered) lyrics, and the genre has thus far been underrepresented in this thread.

The album Boogazm from The Look People.

Holy crap!  The Look People!

Is that the album that has "Samba Chicken" on it?

That reminded me of BARNES & BARNES album Voobaha and the song "Somethings In The Bag" with lyric:
Somethings in the bag...
Somethings in the bag...
Somethings in the bag...
...mommy...? 
Somethings in the bag...
Somethings in the bag...
Somethings in the bag...
...mommy...?
The parking lot... the air was hot... I heard a sound... I turned around...
somethings in the bag!! 
Mommy! 
Somethings in the bag!! 
Mommy! !
Somethings in the bag!! 
Ma-a-a-omm-mm-mmee-ee... ! !

I guess it's no good if you can't hear it...

Shadow my friend, I can not say how much I appreciate you posting this video.  Its everything that I've been thinking about Linkin Park but just couldn't put into words.  Karma!   :thumbup: :bouncegiggle:

"We´ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I´m beggin', won´t you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me
Anymore, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore."

You Don't Love Me Anymore by Weird Al Yankovic

That Linkin Park parody inspired me to bring up some of their lyrical brilliance...

"Shut up when I'm talking to you...shut up!"
"I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't really matter."

That band was the epitome of everything wrong with rock/metal music in the late 90s.  DJs in the band, rapping, excessive whining and crying.  The best part of that parody on YouTube is the annoying 12 year olds commenting underneath how Linkin' Park is the bestest band ever. 

Marcy PlayGround - Sex & Candy

Hangin' 'round Downtown by myself
and I've had too much caffeine
and I was thinkin' 'bout myself
and then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah, there she was
Like Disco Super Fly

I think it´s also often hilarious, what peaple think they hear.

My favorite is from Linkin Park´s "Crawling": I´m crawling in my skin, the wounds they will not heal.

My sister thought it was: I´m crawling in my skin, the spoons they will not hear.

...whatever that means....

I also heard of people taking "La isla bonita" for "Louis the bone-eater" - now that would be the title for a bad movie!

Portions for two songs from The Look People:

"In Saunders Fields"

Foghorn Leghorn's mad as Hell. He's lost the kids and the Mrs..
The man in white's responsible, and his finger lickin' accomplices.
The chicks freak out in the basement
Although living there is twice as nice as
The day they meet their maker, some cook
with eleven secret herbs and spices

"Lousy Lover"

I see you.
You're checkin' me out, you came her alone
You're wondering if it's a good idea to take me home
Well I'd be delighted, don't mind if I do, But I'd better say
Before you get excited...

I'm a lousy lover I'm a lousy lay
Well I'm a lousy lover I'm a lousy lay and that's
all there's to it!...conversation that's my forte.