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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: J.R. on February 26, 2002, 06:45:57 PM



Title: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: J.R. on February 26, 2002, 06:45:57 PM
Ah, Paul Anderson is at it again. After blessing the world with his triple opus of Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon and Soldier the hack maestro is unleashing Resident Evil. Boy howdy, this will suck. The majority of the flick is about a commando team sent in to stop a supercomputer. Oh, they meet some zombies along the way or something, but I don't really remember anything like that in the games. Have you guys seen the ads? Apparently the only way to kill a zombie is to A. destroy its brain, and B. use incredibly cheesy Matrix rip-off effects. In the ad we see this little British girl say, "You're all going to die down here,". Little British kids, the true sign that the people behind a film don't know what they're doing. And it's a PG-13 rated zombie flick. Unclean! Unclean!


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: alex eizenberg on February 26, 2002, 09:14:29 PM
No s**t!  Is this guy's specialty ruining classic videogames of our generation by doing a pathetic job of realizing them on film?  Why can't the movie be based on the first game, with the bad voice acting and everything?  "You, the mas-ter or lock-pick-ing!"  I miss Barry!  f**k this Milla Jovovich trite trapped in underground lab or whatever the hell it is crap.  I want the mansion!  Then again, it might be as awesome as Street Fighter turned out....ugh...


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: Cullen on February 26, 2002, 09:17:52 PM
Actually, I think a bad movie would be more than appropriate for "Resident Evil", considering the original game.  I liked the games, don't get me wrong, but high art they ain't.


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: C. Hill on February 26, 2002, 09:46:11 PM
Yeah, I saw the preview for this thing too.  I can't believe a movie with this much promise could go so horribly wrong.  I saw it last friday when I went to see Queen of the Damned (hey, at least that movie never had any promise to begin with!) and I couldn't help but think why the hell did they turn Resident Evil into The Matrix?  The RE games, while not in fact high art, were effective at creeping gameplayers out with it's ambience.  RE is supposed to be brooding, creepy, gritty and nasty looking.  It sure as hell wasn't an action game, so why is it now an action movie?  WTF is this?

Really, it's times like this where I wish The Matrix had never been made...


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: systemcr4sh on February 26, 2002, 10:07:13 PM
Actually, its not pg-13. Its rated R.

And so sue me, I think it looks cool. Maybe not awesome. But I'm sure it'll be a fun trip to the movies. And the only things that look stupid in the trailer are the bullet matrix ripoff and the part where she jumps and kicks the dog. Event Horizon was great. All his other movies suck though.

Resident Evil wasn't Scary, It wend for cheap "Jolt" scares. While it WAS a good game, SILENT HILL is vastly superior because it is ACTUALLY creepy, scary, and everything inbetween, I had a hard time playing it, its just so freaky..

Thats my opinion

-Dan


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: J.R. on February 27, 2002, 12:10:27 AM
Personally, I'd like to see a movie made of RE 2, at least by people who know what they're doing. Reomero, Savini, I'm looking in your direction. RE 2 had some really cool sequences and more of an action/adventure feel in some parts. Could you imagine a zombie flick set around a metropolitan area with heavily armed SWAT members taking them out? If pulled off right, it would kick copious amounts of ass. I just can't believe Romero could actually have done worse than Paul Anderson. The Konami honchos that fired him must also be the ones that made RE: Survivor. Our only hope now is House Of The Dead. It was co-scripted by Mark Altman (yes, the guy who used to work for Cinescape), so at least a real fanboy is behind it. I read in an interview that they're shooting for a good, gory zombie movie in the vein of Romero's films and Evil Dead.


Title: Small Correction - No Offense Meant
Post by: Cullen on February 27, 2002, 02:13:22 AM
"The Konami honchos that fired him must also be the ones that made RE: Survivor. "

Unless something has changed without me knowing it, Capcom makes RE games.  Konami makes "Silent Hill."


Title: Re: Small Correction - No Offense Meant
Post by: J.R. on February 27, 2002, 09:55:15 AM
Yeah. Whatever. There are lots of Japanese video game developers.


Title: Re: Small Correction - No Offense Meant
Post by: Cullen on February 27, 2002, 10:16:03 AM
I know it doesn't really matter.  Just called to the nitpicker side of what I laughingly call my brain, is all.  That, and I'm anally retentive.


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: Funk, E. on February 27, 2002, 10:49:01 AM
Speaking of Peter Jackson, now there's someone who could do something for a RE flick


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: The Honn on February 27, 2002, 11:19:14 AM
Resident Evil looks awful as far as Im concerned. The movies were already there for them; all they needed to do was flesh out the script a little more and ad some scenes and tweek the plots, but basically they had great templates for a whole series of movies. But no, lets make a prequel that doesnt even fit ANYWHERE in the entire story of Resident Evil but claim it does anyway. And lets get Marylin Manson, Queen of CRAP to do an "electronic" score. One of the best things about the games was the atmospheric music, which was mostly orchestral. What is Paul thinking?! Perhaps he's scared of making a direct game plot to movie transfer with Mortal Kombat-but the problem there was that the game had no plot.
I personally think Silent Hill would make a great movie if someone decent was put behind the helm, but it seems that NO ONE can make a good game to movie...um, thing (sorry, sudden lack of vocab). Mario Brothers. Mortal Kombat. Street Fighter (the live action one-ARGH). I cant even remember if there have been any more, and to be honest I dont really care either.
Resident Evil is really gonna suck, theres no way around it.
(as far as scares in the games goes-Resident Evil was tense and did give cheap shocks but Silent Hill had some REALLY freaky weirdness in it that creeped the Hell out of me, especially the second one.)


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: The Honn on February 27, 2002, 11:19:37 AM
Wow, a novel.


Title: Re: You're All Going To Die Down Here
Post by: J.R. on February 27, 2002, 06:52:14 PM
I read in an interview with Paul "Lord Of Crap" Anderson where he said one of the reasons for making this an entirely new story was so that we wouldn't know who would die. Oh, I'm waiting with bated breath wondering whether Milla Jovovich gets slaughtered 10 minutes in and if the black guys around her survive. This guy even found an excuse to leave out gore- he said the laser that turns everyone into zombies would cauterize the wounds. Son of a b***h.


Title: Re: You're All Going To love this movie...
Post by: Brock on February 28, 2002, 12:41:31 AM
I heard from people who went to an advance screening that MIlla does full frontal twice.  That was before the ratings board got to it, though, so who knows what made it in.  But seriously...when was the last time a zombie movie got released to theaters, good bad or indifferent?  I'll be lining up to see it, with or without the nudity....It'd be a plus, though...Mmm....Milla...


Title: Re: You're All Going To love this movie...
Post by: The Future Blob on March 01, 2002, 01:51:15 PM




    I agree that Silent Hill would be a good movie, but it would also be REALLY hard to make well and REALLY easy to screw up.  What would a Silent Hill move be rated anyway?

     Also, why make a movie that's just like the game? That takes all of the surprise away, after all you already know what's gonna happen if you've played the game. I'd rather have an adaptation that took the good parts and was crappy rather than a slavish retelling of the game's "story".