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AVOID DEATH! and make sure to check out last year's winners.

http://www.wackywarnings.com/

Sad part is these warnings are probably on there because someone has done something stupid and sued due to a lack of a label.  Still get intellectually offended when I see the McDonald's coffee cup warning me "HOT".  Recall a warning label on a can of mixed nuts once saying "may contain nuts". 

My favorite for food is on frozen pizza "Do not eat pizza without cooking".

My favorite one though is when some lady put her RV on cruise control and went to take a shower and her RV crashed, she won a lawsuit and had a warning put in the drivers manual for the RV stating that cruise control will not make the RV drive it self.

That is trulely classic.

Meijers brand peanut butter has this label.

Peanut Butter

ingredients:  Peanuts
contains: Peanuts

I never knew there were peanuts in peanut butter.

I was in an adult bookstore in Charleston, WV once and behind the counter they had a recall notice for a brand of condoms due to "flamability".... makes you wonder.... :hot:

Well we all know what happens if you rub two sticks together...

nevermind...

 :bouncegiggle: "Do not iron while wearing shirt..."  :bouncegiggle: Classic.

My brother bought cases of mineral water the other day and the labels all say "this product contains water."

I never knew that at all. Mineral water containing water? Yikes.  :buggedout:

I'm not even going to comment they speak for themselves, just reading them makes my head hurt.

A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding."

A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed

A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."

A nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."

A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."

A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person's temperature several different ways warns: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”

A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”

The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”

A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”

A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”

An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”

A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”

A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”

A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”

A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”

A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”

A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”

A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”

A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”

My good friend Lefty says that is nonsense.

One of my favourite quotes comes from Niven and Pournelle's Oath of Fealty:

"Think of it as evolution in action"

That might be grounds for a countersuit. A lawsuit forcing a company to add a ridiculous warning is interfering with the process of natural selection, and dumbing down the human race as a whole. That's no more ridiculous than getting a couple million from McDonalds because they didn't tell you the coffee you dumped in your lap would be hot.

I remember a comedian at the time of that settlement suggesting an alternate warning: "Please allow sufficient cooling time before applying coffee to groin area."

quote:

"Think of it as evolution in action"



That's why they have the Darwin awards: http://www.darwinawards.com/