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Let the puns begin! :bouncegiggle:


http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20080110-111467/Masturbate-a-Thon-coming-to-Copenhagen

Well don't that beat all.

Wow, I've been training for that since I was 12. Where do I sign up?

Seriously, can you imagine collecting pledges around the office for this? Of course, it sounds like  you can have as much or as little privacy as you want, so it's not quite as bad as I'd imagined when I saw the headline.

Having gotten some 'tests' done a few years back, I have to admit it is kind of fun to actually be required to do that in a public building, actually stepping out of an appointment with your wife and a doctor to do it, and being ushered into a private room by a nurse. This place was specialized too. Room was set up for the purpose, with a drawer full of magazines and various pieces of furniture to suit personal preference. Two sticky thumbs up.  :thumbup:  :thumbup:

By the way, you would be amazed how much your count can go up if you eat right and give up beer, coffee and tight underwear for a few months.

I had to that after my vasectomy, but they gave let me do it at home and bring it in.  Felt sorta weird walking  into the office with a discreet brown bag containing the sample.

I had to do that too, for my family doctor. That is bizarre, walking into an office and handing a little jar of...that...to a strange woman at a counter. It was almost surreal watching her handle it blandly, checking that the label and the form were in order, then setting it next to her morning coffee and typing on her computer. I probably would have thought it less weird if she'd screamed and slapped me.

The second time was at a specialized clinic, hence the special jackatorium (I just made that word up). My wife and I were actually within two weeks of starting something moderately expensive when we succeeded on our own.

AndyC, couldn't you have asked the nurse, or your wife, for a hand?  :bouncegiggle:

I feel sorry for the people who turn up expecting to watch hot girls and find nothing but overweight males like themselves.

God... That's just...

Ugh, somebody HAD to have that idea didn't they.

For most guys this will be a really short event. 

I hope the janitors are getting time and a half.

Doesn't sound that HARD.

FINALLY, a sport I can ....

Oh never mind.

... come in first.

What makes that statement even more disturbing is that I know what you look like.
(http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/2892/3221d5e1d31279494c062b1xv5.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

Found this old pic on the Frappr map.   :bouncegiggle:

Or should that be come in fist?

Oh that was bad. I hope you didn't drop a wad on that joke.

Too bad Jerry Fallwell isn't alive still to witness this. There's going to be a lot of "murders" happening that day.   :wink:

Oddly enough, it's a picture of me painting the walls  :teddyr:

get a hand on.

 :bouncegiggle:

Trevor: "Yes, I would like to come over there and see what is coming up on the program next. I have been thinking hard about this and feel myself that it is hard time that I take myself firmly, not limply, by the hand so that all the world can see what we South Africans are made of. Come to Copenhagen, all the South Africans will be coming certainly.

Come to Copenhagen and come one, come all. Bring your stiffies, none will be supplied as we've all gone over to CDR's and DVD's. Seize the day! Your future is in your hand!"  :teddyr:

And, of course, no masturbatathon would be complete without a sing-along to this classic by Ivor Bigun. All together now....

My mother said
that I never should
never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And im always pulling my pudd

I was 25 years old
before I was kissed
and then I found that I prefered
a swift one off the wrist
Its cheap and convenient
You cant catch VD
Its avalible at any time
and its absolutly free

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
And I think im going blind

I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omnibus
I've even had a wank in a train

I've used a badger
and a melon
and a cat
a inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a Davie Crockett hat

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
And I think im going blind

Uh.... I'm certainly glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that Andy.  Karma for you man!

Found a recording of it  :teddyr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIHXnDdfOgw&feature=related

Masturbate-a-thon coming to Copenhagen.

Local optometrists standing by --

If this isn't one of the signs of the Apocalypse, it SHOULD be!

This thread makes me really glad I'm a girl.

I have the internet ... women are not immune to the allure of the Masturbate-a-thon.

You evidently didn't read the article, here's an excerpt

"Pia Struck Madsen, a sexologist in the Danish capital, said her goal was to see men and women from all backgrounds come together"

Um, if you've got a bunch of women and men together, doesn't that mean you don't need to masturbate?

I'm guessing the male to female ratio won't be anywhere close to balancing out, even with multiple partners, orgies, gay people, nymphos, brown paper bags, whatever to even the odds. Besides there's going to be lots and lots of ugly floating around, some people would probably prefer to take care of themselves rather than try some of winners of the opposite gender sure to turn up.

I think that's something women have been wanting for years!

Theme song ideas for the event;

Come On Eileen
Come Together
Come On Feel The Noize

Beat It

Billy Squire - Stroke It!

The Vapors - I Think I'm Turning Japanese

y'all are REALLY scary......

AC/DC:   BIG BALLS.

Billy Idol - Dancin' with Myself
Iggy Pop - F-ckin' Alone
Warren Zevon - Splendid Isolation
Warren Zevon - Leave My Monkey Alone
Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey (for when just spankin' it won't do)
The Motels - Only the Lonely
The Who - Pictures of Lily
Chuch Berry - My Ding-A-Ling
The Meters - Hand Clapping Song
Frank Zappa - The Muffin Man
The Beatles - Everybody Has Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
The Beatles - Why Don't We Do it In the Road?

Gentlemen...lets not forget the ladies in the event...they need music too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzpxRd44PpE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTneO6UgRuM

:bouncegiggle: +Karma