Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: CheezeFlixz on May 03, 2008, 12:12:07 AM



Title: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 03, 2008, 12:12:07 AM
In honor of IMDB I'm starting a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread, because every movie on IMDB has a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread.

Well I don't know what it is, because I haven't seen ever movie ever made. But nearly every movie I look up on IMDB had a WORSE MOVIE EVER thread, it was annoying long ago now I find it comical and a validation I'm watching a bad movie.

I just watch "DON'T BE SCARED" ... I won't bore you with the details, I'll just say skip it and save 75 minute of your life. Hitting your hand repeatedly with a hammer would be less painful. I've now moved on the "HOUSE OF BLOOD" it's about on par with a SciFi original nothing fancy or that great but it don't completely suck.

"DON'T BE SCARED" is not the worst movie ever, but it's a close second. It had a budget of $10,000 and it was written and directed by 'Master P' I'm guessing he's a rapper. Soon as John Carpenter and other horror directors starts making rap album, Master P can made more movies. And some thought Uwe Boll was bad.

edit typo


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Jack on May 03, 2008, 07:55:40 AM
Oh, so many to choose from.  Death Tunnel immediately pops into my head.  Imagine a cheap, derivative horror movie with terrible acting, but now let's only use about 3 seconds of each scene.   Yup, let's jump from 3 seconds of this to 3 seconds of that to 3 seconds of something else, throughout damned near the whole freakin' movie.  And lets stick the snowy TV effect in there about 150 times as well.  Seriously, if someone should be banned from making films, it's the two numbskulls that came up with this "thing".

Stick It.  To paraphrase Pinhead "You shall suffer annoyance the likes of which even God has never seen".  You know how annoying kids in their early teens can be?  But it's tolerable, because they're in their teens.  Now imagine a 24 year old actress acting like this.  Egads, it's just off-the-scales annoying. 

Anacondas:  The hunt for the blood orchid.  I don't mind generic, been-there-done-that 100 times before type movies.  Any film maker with even an entry-level IQ will normally add something of at least moderate interest.  Not so with this movie.  I mean, the boilerplate characters, the painful tedium of the infinitely predictable plot, the banal cliche dialogue (I correctly guessed what the next line of dialogue would be in more than one part of this movie), the unbearable comedy relief character who seems to be killed (we cheer!) but he lives.  If I had a copy of the DVD right now I'd shove it through the paper shredder just to hear the electric motor go rurr rurr rurr reeeeeeeeearrrrr.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Patient7 on May 03, 2008, 02:59:02 PM
I've seen some movies that I just couldn't finish.  I tried City of Lost Children last night, some french film with Ron Pearlman and theres a guy stealiong kids dreams or something, I lasted about half an hour and I just said, "This is terrible," so bye bye!


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Pilgermann on May 03, 2008, 03:11:17 PM
Oh, so many to choose from.  Death Tunnel immediately pops into my head.  Imagine a cheap, derivative horror movie with terrible acting, but now let's only use about 3 seconds of each scene.   Yup, let's jump from 3 seconds of this to 3 seconds of that to 3 seconds of something else, throughout damned near the whole freakin' movie.  And lets stick the snowy TV effect in there about 150 times as well.  Seriously, if someone should be banned from making films, it's the two numbskulls that came up with this "thing".

I've never heard a single good thing about that movie.  For a while I wanted to see how bad it was for myself, but now I'm afraid.  The place where it was filmed is actually pretty creepy by itself.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Menard on May 03, 2008, 05:39:36 PM
First off...

Zardoz - A pointless, grindingly annoying film featuring James Bond running around in his version of a loincloth; which makes about as much sense as a giant head floating in air. If the plot and imagery in the film seem a little too phallic, that is because this is one dick of a movie. Only loved by the incurably, and obnoxiously, insane.



Two more:


Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - The cast, the budget, and someone still laid a huge, steaming log o' crap on us. Should be followed up by the sequel Charlie's Angels: Full Refund.


Stephen King's Desperation - Ever wondered what a film written by a six year old might be like? Watch this movie. Who knew that you could blow up an entire mountainside with a tube sock's worth of fertilizer?


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: indianasmith on May 03, 2008, 10:35:58 PM
THE BLOOD SHED -

How bad can a movie be that features characters named BeefTina and Butternut???


Bad beyond words.  Trust me.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: hellbilly on May 04, 2008, 05:22:25 AM
Mummy Maniac (2007) - Awful piece of turd with an estimated budget of $500 according to IMDb. This film is the reason why Lionsgate is on my s**tlist.

Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.

Space Zombie Bingo (1993) - I remain torn on this one. A great achievement or a crime against humanity? One should only watch equipped with a bottle of aspirins. Just in case.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: RCMerchant on May 04, 2008, 05:59:42 AM
PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH (197?)-An incomprehensible waste of film if there ever was one. Hard to describe. How does one describe the smell of a dirty diaper? It's unique in it's stench.  :bluesad:


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Sister Grace on May 04, 2008, 06:08:17 AM
The Stink of Flesh: this movie was so aweful, i wanted to clean my eyes out with clorox after watching it. Its so bad that one of the actor's names are listed as Diva in the credits!! good actor? no. Stripper gotten to old and too fat for her line of work? more than likely...
and get this, the tagline for the movie was "How do you lead an alternative lifestyle when everyone's dead?" In the beginning, there is a zombie plauge afoot. The main character who is somewhat of a amateur ninja(a guy who reminds you of the stoner checkout clerk that works the night shift at the local gas station) gets kidnapped and taken to a 'safe' house that looks like it has been fortified with cardboard. In order to be allowed to stay there, he has to 'service' the main guys wife whose name is Dexy(fat old stripper with bad dye job listed as Diva in the credits). Dexy also has a sister named Sassy who happens to have a dead fetus growth on her stomach. Sassy has a spanking fetish.
Eventually some army guys show up and there's even more swinger action. The husband, his name escapes me, starts to get jealous and the turmoil begins. I don't know why he gets jealous, considering he has another out-of-work stripper chained up by the arms in the shed. This out-of-work stripper (and potential meth-head) just happens to be infected with the undead virus (think zombie sex-slave). I can't help but ask myself, if the undead virus is spread thru blood, couldn't it also be passed in the same way as an STD?


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Patient7 on May 04, 2008, 05:16:28 PM

Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.


This is another movie that I just couldn't make it through, ten minutes and I felt my brain begin to hemmorage.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: frank on May 05, 2008, 08:12:25 AM

....
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - The cast, the budget, and someone still laid a huge, steaming log o' crap on us. Should be followed up by the sequel Charlie's Angels: Full Refund.
...

I've seen this accidentally with my girlfriend on TV lately. We both actually couldn't believe what we were watching. The reason to keep on going must be the same as for some people watching a messy car wreck. I now officially declare that hence and from now on this movie shall be the worst movie I've ever seen (... until I see something worse...)


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 05, 2008, 08:58:21 AM
Master P?

Nah, couldn't be one of the Polonia brothers, could it?

Zardoz - A pointless, grindingly annoying film featuring James Bond running around in his version of a loincloth; which makes about as much sense as a giant head floating in air. If the plot and imagery in the film seem a little too phallic, that is because this is one dick of a movie. Only loved by the incurably, and obnoxiously, insane.

Or, maybe, just maybe, you weren't in the right state of mind to enjoy it's pyschotronic OZness.

 :drink:


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 05, 2008, 09:08:08 AM
Mummy Maniac (2007) - Awful piece of turd with an estimated budget of $500 according to IMDb. This film is the reason why Lionsgate is on my s**tlist.

Return Of The Boogeyman (1994) - According to legend this one went down in history for being the first (or one of the first) movie released on DVD. Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom. Worst ever.

Space Zombie Bingo (1993) - I remain torn on this one. A great achievement or a crime on humanity? One should only watch equipped with a bottle of aspirins. Just in case.

I haven't seen (or heard) of any of those.  But I can name three similar titles...

DAWN OF THE MUMMY - Just plain awful.

BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.

ZOMBIE ISLAND - At least I think that was it's title.  A tediously dull menticide of boring cinematic impotence with no redeeming artistic merit what-so-ever.  Naturally it was released by Troma.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Menard on May 05, 2008, 11:11:03 AM
DAWN OF THE MUMMY - Just plain awful.

Thank you for pointing that out. That is one truly wretched movie; though one submitted review on this very site suggests otherwise.

I would like to add one that even surpasses the level of boredom of the aforementioned film: Oasis of the Zombies



BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.

Which one?

This is an odd entity in that a nowhere film was remade in no less than a period of 11 years (1986 for the original and 1997 for the remake); and still can't figure out why it was remade.

ZOMBIE ISLAND - At least I think that was it's title.  A tediously dull menticide of boring cinematic impotence with no redeeming artistic merit what-so-ever.  Naturally it was released by Troma.

I'm presuming you mean Zombie Island Massacre and not Scooby Doo on Zombie Island.

The infamous zombie bush that chases people.

I actually liked this one, somewhat, though there is the disappointment factor in finding out that what you watched it for was one big red herring. I could certainly understand why people are not too fond of this one as it is misrepresented up front, though that is part of the plot, and moves kind of slowly for what someone is expecting.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: DistantJ on May 05, 2008, 12:34:40 PM
(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/a/a2/Manos-dvd_cover.jpg)


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: pjpants on May 05, 2008, 02:00:05 PM
yeah BREEDERS was terrible but im not sure it was the worst... i mean there have been some just stupid crazy ones out there


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: asimpson2006 on May 05, 2008, 02:02:18 PM
([url]http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/a/a2/Manos-dvd_cover.jpg[/url])


Manos was bad, but I think I'll have to be drunk to watch it again.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: pjpants on May 05, 2008, 02:04:19 PM
i cant remember the name of the movie but it was a foreign movie that featured a guy doing an autopsy were he raped the  corpse with a knife. unless you have ever thought this movie has "not enough vaginal stabbing of a corpse", then i dont think youll be down for it. the only redeeming value is that its like only 15 min long. pointless film were they try to shock you and offend you, however all i got was "wow really?" out of it. cant place the name of it :(


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: DistantJ on May 05, 2008, 03:59:45 PM
i cant remember the name of the movie but it was a foreign movie that featured a guy doing an autopsy were he raped the  corpse with a knife. unless you have ever thought this movie has "not enough vaginal stabbing of a corpse", then i dont think youll be down for it. the only redeeming value is that its like only 15 min long. pointless film were they try to shock you and offend you, however all i got was "wow really?" out of it. cant place the name of it :(


Was it Japanese?

You might want to enquire in the "What Was That Film?" section (http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/board,8.0.html).


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Raffine on May 05, 2008, 04:31:45 PM
One of my new favorite bad movies:

SUBURBAN SASQUATCH (2004)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=upBzxKz-j4w&feature=user

http://youtube.com/watch?v=F9Tuse3l2Cc


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 05, 2008, 05:07:22 PM
i cant remember the name of the movie but it was a foreign movie that featured a guy doing an autopsy were he raped the  corpse with a knife. unless you have ever thought this movie has "not enough vaginal stabbing of a corpse", then i dont think youll be down for it. the only redeeming value is that its like only 15 min long. pointless film were they try to shock you and offend you, however all i got was "wow really?" out of it. cant place the name of it :(


Do you mean AFTERMATH (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159241/)?  This was recently brought up on the "sick and disturbing movies" thread.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Raffine on May 05, 2008, 05:17:47 PM
i cant remember the name of the movie but it was a foreign movie that featured a guy doing an autopsy were he raped the  corpse with a knife. unless you have ever thought this movie has "not enough vaginal stabbing of a corpse", then i dont think youll be down for it. the only redeeming value is that its like only 15 min long. pointless film were they try to shock you and offend you, however all i got was "wow really?" out of it. cant place the name of it :(

FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN aka ANY WORHOL'S FRANKENSTEIN (1973) has a lots of similar shenanigans going on - only they don't use a knife.

"To know death Otto, you have to f**k life in the gall bladder." Frankenstein tell his creepy assistant . . .  and so he does.





Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: indianasmith on May 05, 2008, 07:06:52 PM
One of my new favorite bad movies:

SUBURBAN SASQUATCH (2004)

[url]http://youtube.com/watch?v=upBzxKz-j4w&feature=user[/url]

[url]http://youtube.com/watch?v=F9Tuse3l2Cc[/url]


I posted a review of that not long ago . . . it was mind-numbingly bad!!


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 05, 2008, 08:08:08 PM
All the films listed here and oh so many more is proof positive that anyone and I do many ANYONE can make a movie. I dare say some of the stuff I've seen could have been shot with a cage full of wold monkey's.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: hellbilly on May 06, 2008, 01:14:08 PM
BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.
Damn, I really love the 1986 Breeders and I will never part with my DVD  :teddyr:

Breeders used to be a Saturday night video fave back in the day. We would pop in Tim Kincaid's craptastic alien exploitation and do a running MST3K type of commentary and have a blast. We would usually warm up with Jim Kelly's Black Samurai (1977) first, followed by Doris Wishman's A Night To Dismember (1983). Breeders however was the highlight of the evening. Good times  :cheers:
I'm still puzzled that MGM put this film on DVD, and in 16x9 Widescreen even. Bless 'em!


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Rev. Powell on May 06, 2008, 04:53:26 PM
BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.
Damn, I really love the 1986 Breeders and I will never part with my DVD  :teddyr:

Breeders used to be a Saturday night video fave back in the day. We would pop in Tim Kincaid's craptastic alien exploitation and do a running MST3K type of commentary and have a blast. We would usually warm up with Jim Kelly's Black Samurai (1977) first, followed by Doris Wishman's A Night To Dismember (1983). Breeders however was the highlight of the evening. Good times  :cheers:
I'm still puzzled that MGM put this film on DVD, and in 16x9 Widescreen even. Bless 'em!

That's the one where all the naked gals wander around in the vat of alien semen at the end, right?  Not a great movie, but you've got to admire the subtlety of the filmmakers' unique vision.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 06, 2008, 05:04:17 PM
BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.

Which one?

Both, in their own unique way.    :bouncegiggle:

I'm presuming you mean Zombie Island Massacre

That's the one!

Like the man said: Nuke it from orbit!  It's the only way to be sure.

BREEDERS - Actually: "Your brain will freeze and eyes will explode because there is no other way of escaping (the brain) devouring dullness wrapped in sticky boredom."  Does kind of sum this one up rather well.
Damn, I really love the 1986 Breeders and I will never part with my DVD  :teddyr:

Didn't say I didn't like it.  Heck I still have my VHSes of BOTH of 'em!


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Killer Bees on May 06, 2008, 09:41:15 PM
Ultraviolet
I still can't believe how betrayed I felt watching it and hating it.  That's what I get for being all excited before a movie starts.  I can't tell you what it's about because it has no plot that I can discern.  Milla Jovovich should have known better.

The Gate
Stephen Dorff as a ten year old and something about a hole in the backyard unleashing the monsters of hell.  I watched the trailer and got more out of it.

Enemy At The Gate
I don't usually like war movies anyway, but this Jude Law/Rachel Weisz offering was complete s**te.  And like a mong, I kept sitting there hoping it would get better.

Rosemary's Baby
Hated it.  I know a lot of people think it's a classic, but to me it's just a classic turd fest.  I guess my irrational dislike of Mia Farrow didn't help either.




Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 06, 2008, 10:06:48 PM
Ultraviolet
I still can't believe how betrayed I felt watching it and hating it.  That's what I get for being all excited before a movie starts.  I can't tell you what it's about because it has no plot that I can discern.  Milla Jovovich should have known better.

Hey I like this movie ... Milla Jovovich ... Milla, oh Milla ....Milla, Milla, Milla. I'm sorry which movie was it?


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: asimpson2006 on May 07, 2008, 08:10:55 AM
Ultraviolet
I still can't believe how betrayed I felt watching it and hating it.  That's what I get for being all excited before a movie starts.  I can't tell you what it's about because it has no plot that I can discern.  Milla Jovovich should have known better.

One of the instructor at the karate school I study at said that he saw this and said that he could do the fight scenes in the film better then the people in the film.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: pjpants on May 07, 2008, 01:36:59 PM
it was aftermath! that was a pointless movie that was just tring to shock people. enimy at the gates came out and i was in college (majoring in russian history mind you) and i HATED it. english accents, historical inaccuracies, and a guy with bullet teeth. wow just wow awful


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: peter johnson on May 07, 2008, 03:07:50 PM
Yeah, this thread has already collapsed a bit, but that's to be expected when you ask a question like that around here --
"Worst Movie Ever!!" can't be entertaining.  Some of the bad films mentioned here have amused at least some of us with their very badness.  I mean, you can't mention "Pumaman!" on a thread like this because you can get so much amusement from the crap special effects, the ridiculous story, the Donald Plesance scenery chewing, etc. etc., so even though any serious film student would find it appalling, we here would find it wonderful in its own special way.
* * *
That said, while I've seen some films lately that I really hated, they can't qualify as "Worst Ever" because of say, good photography or high production values.  I don't think it would be fair to some really horrible films were I to name "The Devil Wears Prada" as The Worst Film Ever simply because I loathed it as a film. 
So, I guess, for sheer mind-numbing-I-don't-understand-why-anyone-likes-this-ness, for me it's still got to be "Equinox", even though I have a good friend who's not mentally challenged who really enjoys it -- even has the Special DVD Edition of it, with all the bells and whistles.  Get that thing away from me . . .
No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!
peter johnson/denny crane


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: HarlotBug3 on May 07, 2008, 03:33:35 PM
Britney, Baby, One More Time...


American Movie was such a monument to every kind of mockumenterary that I had high hopes.

I can't even remember if I finished it, because memory of it brings back violent emotions.

I wanted to murder whoever it was that put the money up for this perfect example of movies going from bad, to pitiful, to unforgivable.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: jpgordo on May 07, 2008, 06:33:48 PM
Tennessee Williams' Haunted Alligators is pretty terrible from the early 1960s.  It's playing all this month on the Manka Classic Movies Channel... really bad...

http://www.mankabros.com/television/manka_classic_movies/index.htm

 :thumbdown:



Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 07, 2008, 07:10:51 PM
No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!

You want a consensus for WORST FILMS/FILM MAKERS EVER?

I've got two words for you: Polonia.  Brothers.

 :cheers:


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Raffine on May 07, 2008, 07:44:39 PM
No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!


You want a consensus for WORST FILMS/FILM MAKERS EVER?

I've got two words for you: Polonia.  Brothers.

 :cheers:


I'd call 'em a close second to Andy Milligan, but God Bless the Polonia Brothers!  :cheers:

On a more somber note, did you know John Polonia passed away earlier this year?

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,118267.0.html (http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,118267.0.html)

There movies are wonderfully terrible but this was really sad... 


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: akiratubo on May 07, 2008, 08:56:49 PM
Alligator Alley - Bad, bad, bad movie about drug smugglers in the Everglades.  That sentence is more entertaining than the movie, mind you.

Headless Eyes - A guy is robbing a woman and she puts out his eye.  He then goes around spewing a stream-of-consciousness voiceover and putting out people's eyes after stalking them for EXTREMELY long periods of screentime.  Even when the son of a b***h DIES he won't stop with the voiceover.

Exterminator II - It has all the stuff I usually love about bad 80s action movies, but it sucks.  It hurts in a way few movies can.

Headwig and the Angry Inch - A guy from East Germany gets his penis cut off - leaving him with the "angry inch" - so he can pretend to be a woman and accompany his American lover back to the 'States.  Bonus: it's a musical.

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - Uma Thurman has huge thumbs, making her the world's greatest Hitchhiker.  She goes to a commune full of lesbian cowgirls and ... er, stuff doesn't exactly "happen" but there is stuff.  Near the end, there's a fairly lengthy monologue about paper bags blowing in the wind.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: peter johnson on May 08, 2008, 10:30:45 AM
?? --
I don't get cable or satellite, but can someone fill me in as to what the deal is with this "Manka Bros.", please?
I went to the site, and it looks to be an overly-long parody of Turner or AMC.  It even has made-up "fun facts", and interviews with non-existent people.  Some of the joke descriptions of films did make me smile some, but it seems pretty obsessive to me -- someone seems to have built an entire false history of films and studios, but some of it also seems to purport to be "real" --
Surely, none of these --"Tennessee Williams' Haunted Alligators"??? -- are real films . . . or are they?
Firesign Theatre constructs elaborate false worlds as well, with their own recurring characters and internal logic -- How best to approach this "Manka" business?
peter johnson/denny crane


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 08, 2008, 11:02:58 AM
I'd call 'em a close second to Andy Milligan, but God Bless the Polonia Brothers!  :cheers:


Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?

Granted some of their movies are fun, in a hilariously bad sort of way.  Then there is Dragon (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318).  I just can't imagine anyone making a 'movie' worse than Dragon (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318).  It's utter rubbish.

On a more somber note, did you know John Polonia passed away earlier this year?


No.  I was not aware of that.

Now a moment of silence for those who brought us PREYLIEN.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 08, 2008, 11:10:10 AM
Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?

Granted some of their movies are fun, in a hilariously bad sort of way.  Then there is Dragon ([url]http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318[/url]).  I just can't imagine anyone making a 'movie' worse than Dragon ([url]http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318[/url]).  It's utter rubbish.


So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 08, 2008, 11:31:45 AM
So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).


Your tastes may be different than mine.  See my review of >Dragon (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318)<.  But, to summarize:

WTF?  An empty lot 'forest', more 'forest', everywhere 'forest' and trees. .  more trees. . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Raffine on May 08, 2008, 11:48:40 AM
Quote
Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?


Here's a good primer on Milligan, who's probably best known for his werewolf 'epic' THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE!:

Andy Milligan's Ghastly Stew part 1
 http://www.horror-wood.com/milligan.htm (http://www.horror-wood.com/milligan.htm)

Part 2
http://www.horror-wood.com/andym.htm (http://www.horror-wood.com/andym.htm)


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: peter johnson on May 08, 2008, 01:06:27 PM
Hey, I bought "Dragon" for a buck, too!  I want my buck back!!
"Haunted house movie"??  I'm shooting a Haunted House movie right now, and things HAPPEN in Haunted House movies -- your review that says "Dragon" is about nothing & people standing around babbling about nothing and doing nothing is bang on the mark.  I kept waiting for something, anything to take place -- boy did I waste my time.  The extremely poor CGI dragon -- looking vaguely like an irritated Australian beaded-dragon lizard -- appears all of 2 times.
Don't spend your dollar on this one!!!
. . . still, it didn't inspire in me the raw disgust that "The Devil Wears Prada" does . . .
peter johnson/denny crane


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 08, 2008, 04:23:07 PM
So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).


Your tastes may be different than mine.  See my review of >Dragon ([url]http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-qzcELew6frWBZspks_7SsnUuv9VNTUA-?cq=1&p=318[/url])<.  But, to summarize:

WTF?  An empty lot 'forest', more 'forest', everywhere 'forest' and trees. .  more trees. . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 :bouncegiggle:



Alright I rented it again today (Movie Gallery has 5 gallery rents for $2.50 for 5 days) and I'm going to see if it just that bad you foks say ... surely it's not worse than a Uwe Boll production and I like his crappy movies.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Raffine on May 08, 2008, 04:55:59 PM
Anybody see THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005)?

No, not the Speilberg version, and not the one with C. Thomas Howell, but the looong Timothy Hines version with the goofy CGI and the many, many walking sequences?


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: DistantJ on May 10, 2008, 07:38:13 AM
I liked Ultraviolet. Especially the visuals. I could see a lot which was wrong with it but I loved the camp comic-book-ness of it. Most of the over-the-top style of it was intentional and works for me. I mean, c'mon, when was the last time you got to see a movie with a girl whose hair changes colour to match her surroundings and guns which 'digitally' appear from her wrist band thingies, and a final battle with flaming swords in the darkness while they spout one liners at each other?


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: SynapticBoomstick on May 11, 2008, 11:45:37 PM
In recent years and in all honesty: The Mist.

Because it's got awesome monsters and I still can't sit through it because of Crazy Lady.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Kester Pelagius on May 14, 2008, 09:32:55 AM
Alright I rented it again today (Movie Gallery has 5 gallery rents for $2.50 for 5 days) and I'm going to see if it just that bad you foks say ... surely it's not worse than a Uwe Boll production and I like his crappy movies.

And, lo, CheezeFlixz was never heard from again.

Let that be a lesson to ALL who would dare watch the unwatchable!

 :bouncegiggle:


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: CheezeFlixz on May 14, 2008, 10:36:19 AM
Alright I rented it again today (Movie Gallery has 5 gallery rents for $2.50 for 5 days) and I'm going to see if it just that bad you foks say ... surely it's not worse than a Uwe Boll production and I like his crappy movies.

And, lo, CheezeFlixz was never heard from again.

Let that be a lesson to ALL who would dare watch the unwatchable!

 :bouncegiggle:

No, I watch it and I fell asleep. The CGI was Sci-Fi channel quality, the dialog was flat and lengthy and while it was a poor movie you must admit there are far worse films out there. But it was bad and not in a good way. It was bad as in boring and thus I fell asleep and never finished it awake.


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Professor MittenSpider on May 14, 2008, 04:53:43 PM
I remember a time in my life when Manos and The Cars that Ate Paris were the height of my cinema filth addiction.  I strangely enjoy them now.  I think I broke my brain...Anypoo, I recently picked up a 1 dollar special from Walgreens starring Miles O'Keefe called Phantom Riders.  It looks like they cashed in a bunch of aluminum to determine a budget for the film.  In the movie we're supposed to believe that overweight greek fishermen can conquer an army of quasi-ninja attackers.  Well worth a dollar!


Title: Re: WORST MOVIE EVER!!
Post by: Allhallowsday on May 14, 2008, 05:24:07 PM
CANNIBAL FEROX (1987 ~ aka MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY).  Jaw-droppingly grotesque and stupid...