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Has anyone seen Scarlet fry's Junkfood Horrorfest Starring Alice coopers daughter, This isnt called Junkfood for nothing, But the producers Are doing a new project That looks really cool & Apparantly This scarlet fry guy has been doing films for quiet sometime, Im becoming a fan & have decided to use his name as my Handle Go to www.myspace.com/pretoriousprod to read up on this guys new film, Id love to talk with others wo have seen this junk.

<img src="http://www.doomsdaydvd.com/frydvd.jpg">

Nothing personal...

...yeah, right  :lookingup:

This thread and last post has been at the top of the forum since a little after 9 last night; just thought it needed updating, to actually make it less annoying.

Open thread hijacking!!! :teddyr:

Post anything you like.

OK, I highlighted the words he capitalized and made the words he was supposed to capitalize blue, I don't see a code yet but if you can find the secret message you can go to Junkfood Horrorfest Bonanza Dot Com and win tons of Junkfood Horrorfest Merchandise! :buggedout:

I love dogs. How about you guys? Who on this board owns a dog?  :tongueout:

:bouncegiggle:

Scarlet fry was shot by Brian crow & Walter ruether Very HG Lewis You geeks know who HG lewis is right Haha Kidding ITs available on a 50 Pk Called decrepit crypt of Nightmarews Remember Alice cooper daughter is in this & shes Hot

Actually, you are Walter Ruether - the director - correct?  So this post is a blatant fabrication, and an attempt to create viral marketing by misleading people.  Either satisfactorily explain yourself here, via pm or email to me or I will ban your account and delete all of your posts.

I hate this sort of deception.

Busted!  :teddyr: Karma for Andrew.

Nobody expected "The Spanish Inquisition"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uprjmoSMJ-o

TALK AND WE SHALL EASE YOUR SUFFERING...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ5LaSPThfc

we just wanted to see if people saw are film & what theyb thought Walter & scarlet are not the same guy why so negative you wanna delete my acct oooooooo like i care

Lies, spam and insultingly poor deception are negative. Acting like a whining little turd when found out is negative.

On the other hand, writing "are" when you mean "our" is positively retarded. So, it balances out, I guess.

Back to the topic at hand. Do you own a dog?  :tongueout:

As a matter of fact I don't.   :smile:

I own 3 fish and an Emperor scorpion.   :cheers:

Two dogs at our house: Pembroke Welsh Corgis named Sandrine Liliane AKA Sandy and Janus Argus Griffinus AKA Jag.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvZYL5MykM

Sandy is on the left.

 :teddyr: :cheers:

For future reference, I have 1 cat who lives primarily outdoors and 4 fish who seem to keep living which is good for an aquarium. 

Shadow, is that video looped?   :teddyr:

We're the MODs

Sung to the tune of "We're Not Gonna Take It" (?) by Twisted Sister

OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT
NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT
OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE

WE'VE GOT THE RIGHT TO BAN YOU
THERE AIN'T NO WAY WE'LL LOSE IT
THIS IS OUR FORUM, THIS IS OUR BOARD
WE'LL STOMP THE TROLLS THAT MAKE A FUSS
DON'T THINK YOUR s**t WILL FLY 'CAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW US, YOU WILL BE IP BANNED

OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT
NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT
OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE

OH YOU'RE SO CONDESCENDING
YOUR GALL IS NEVER ENDING
WE DON'T WANT NOTHIN', NOT A THING FROM YOU
YOUR POSTS ARE TRITE AND RETARDED
TIME TO GET DEFENSTRATED
CUZ IF THAT'S YOUR BEST, YOUR BEST WON'T DO
#


Note: Not a MOD.  Just posting a filk I wrote and posted to another forum ages ago.  Actually I'd all but forgot I wrote that until I started reading this thread so, FWIW, thanks!   :twirl:

You keep saying that, but I was like "Hey here comes the Spanish Inquisition", "The Spanish Inquisition is just around the corner", and "Looks like another Spanish Inquisition coming this way", , but do I get credit for that? NOOOO. . . . I warned you, , it's your own fault you didn't listen. Next time I say "I have a feeling a Spanish Inquisition is nearby", you'll all listen then, , but don't act like you weren't warned the first time. .

Are you having a moment here?

Would you like to take five?

Go ahead...we'll wait for you and keep your stuff safe. :lookingup:

It's the hair.

Account banned.

Your verified email address is the same as Walter Ruether has used elsewhere.  Also, the only time you post is to talk about the movie you are trying to create a buzz for.  Whatever the truth here, what I can be sure of is that you have an integrity problem.

The only reason I have not deleted all of this poster's threads is that the community seems to be having such fun playing with them.  I'll have to figure out what to do.

Gee...I haven't the slightest notion who's idea it was to hijack a troll's thread. :lookingup:

 :tongueout:

I think that when we see a troll/spam post of someone trying to advertise their movie, we should all start making up parts that aren't in the movie and discussing them, just to make the movie sound as if it were so unintelligible and bad that nobody would watch it. I'll start:

Hey Menard, what did you think of the scene in SFJFHF where the Siamese twins were making egg-salad in the air cleaner of that '38 Edsel? I mean, they spent almost 10 minutes on that scene, and as it turned out they ended up feeding it to that little three-legged dog, who just barfed it up anyways. When that hitchhiker with the cheap toupee and the bola tie stepped in the barf, I thought the Sheriff was going to arrest him for vagrancy or littering or maybe even public intoxication. Anyways, what exactly was it that the Sheriff said to that blind woman, the sound was so horrible I couldn't make it out, and the camera shook WAY too hard to read his lips, , even if he didn't have that huge mustache. The way they kept jumping back and forth between the scene of the bunny rabbit that was stuck in the washing machine and the obese Chinese woman draining the pus from her bedsores made it even harder to follow, but I believe there is a scene missing right where the film seemed to break, otherwise, who brought all those fire extinguishers? 

 :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:

ooh, can star wars kid have a walk-on role?

Yeah that part always gets me too. (side note:  you're on to something with that idea Ghouck and I like it... :bouncegiggle:  I simply can't wait for the next troll to arrive...)

Well, legitimate "Hi, my name is XXXX, and I just finished working on XXXX.  The movie is about zombies wearing sweaters.  Please see the official website at www.XXXX.com." should be fine.  Those are actually nice informational posts.  Ditto with posters asking about feedback who disclose their connection to the film.

The real issue with this one was that the poster was trying to deceive everyone.

Always, , maybe we'll have him Team up with Eric "Mass Transit" Kulas (R.I.P.). .


Yea, I wouldn't want to mess with a legitimate movie maker or someone trying to get an honest, direct opinion, but the whole "stealth marketing" is pretty insulting. Kinda reminds me of the gum salesman scene in Clerks. .

EDIT: I am not affiliated with the movie "Clerks", nor am I advertising for them, , lol. .

Hello  :tongueout:

i only recently discovered star wars kid a few days ago, James was trying to cheer me up by telling me things could be worse (i.e. i could have been star wars kid). I don't know what was more funny, the youtube clip or his utter shock that i didn't know who star wars kid was. Since then though, I've been having sightings...

i'm sure star wars kid is alive and well and works as a cashier at our local save-a-lot...

 I like pie!  :smile:

Okay, I give up, who or what exactly is star wars kid ? How do you tell if you're one ? I mean if I'm one of them I'd like to know. If I turn out to be one could we have a telethon, raise money and find a cure or should we just have a big party?

Read this:
Star Wars Kid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_wars_kid)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU

This kid will forever live as an internet legend.

my god - i'm that bored right now i'm looking for an old link i had with alternate variations of his kid..lol  this is why i shouldn't take vacations, i sit up all nite surfing the net.

Pets are unnecessary.  That's why I have a teenager   :teddyr:

Well I give this guy some credit for the video, he's got to know what he looks like, yet he put it on you tube anyway knowing he'd have to return to school and get his a## kicked but the school dipsticks. This video proves that he's a brave kid, also proves he's incredibly dumb, but quite probably very happy too.

I think he meant to keep it to himself and those aforementioned dipsticks were the ones who shared it.

Actually, he made the video and left the tape in the camcorder. Other students found it and posted it on the 'net a while later. He sued the families involved for a ludacris sum of money. When it first came out, he was prasied, and some place even raised money to get him a computer or an iPod, , something like that, , then he started the whole lawsuit thing and they retracted. When the lawsuit first got rolling, people (kids) were saying that he was an arrogant, abrasive kid that had a hard time keeping friends (Much of that was quickly withdrawn as the parents leveled their legal artillery at anyone even remotely involved). Sounded like there was a REASON he was the only one in the video. Once they saw the dollar signs, , he all at once was the victim. His parents claimed "will be under psychiatric care for an indefinite amount of time". Sorry, but if you as a parent have screwed your kid up so much that his own actions at 14 years old cause that type of irreperable damage, then you're as much at fault and don't deserve any money, , and it'spointless to throw money at it, because it's not going to help. It's not like he got caught performing an act of beastiality or eating his own feces, he was doing what kids do: They act goofy from time to time, especially when bored. Funny thing is, , that by starting the lawsuit, that family sealed his fate in regards to him being DEFINED for the rest of his life by that whole scenario, rather than it getting shrugged off after a little time and chalked up to goofy things that kids do. Now, at 20 or so, when he meets some girl and she finds out he's SWK, rather than something easy like "I was 14, I really liked Star Wars and was REALLY bored at school", he has to go through the "I was embarased and my mommie doesn't like for me to be embarrassed so they got this lawyer and he sure showed everyone that made fun of me for that".

Anyways, this is what I understand about the situation, and is in to way immune to misunderstanding or misinformation.

You know what would have made that video even cooler, If instead of the star wars kid it Starred calico cooper Alice coppers daughter the Star of Sacrlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest instead.

I wouldn't worry about that kid, his superior light saber abilities rival that of Master Yoda's. 

Funny, I was just thinking there were a few moments where he would have done a Venus de Milo on himself had he actually been using a lightsaber.

Who's Calico Cooper? And whats a Scarlet Fry Junkfood horrorfest?  :question: ( :tongueout:)

You know, Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest would make a nice running gag every time somebody posts one of those "worst movie ever" or "most annoying movie" threads.

Or we could use a name that is CLOSE, so we all know what we are referring to, but not so close that it would lead to the actual movie in a search.

Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest - So, is it good?

I hear Jackie Cooper and Alice's Linda Lavin is in it. Right?


(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/alice.jpg)

That's right, and Pope Benedict XVI makes a cameo appearance as Larry the cab driver in the scene where Calico Cooper and William Hung go to infiltrate the Cheetos factory where all those kegs of stolen beer are hidden.

The Ghost of John Carradine is in it too...."CONNECT THE ZEBCO DYNOMATOR TO THE CRYMOSAM NODULES...THEN PULL THE SWITCH....HURRY ,YOU FOOL!"

Is that before or after he and King Arthur shelter Mary Magdalene's love child?

Was that the child she had as a result of her brief but torrid affair with time-travelling podiatrist Ernie Malone, played by Hector Elizondo?

Hard to say....did she give birth while floating inna raft...on a planet of vampires?

It was not a raft, but a porta-potty that had been thown in the river during the riot at the Darrow Chemical Company after some uppermanagement tried to cross the picket-line...

Darrow Chemical. Right. That was where they were secretly making super-soldier formula X5254695453255-555666B for the shadow government.

I was surprised they had Roseanne Barr sing the opening theme, but I was REALLY amazed they had her do a nude scene. Not surprised it got past the censors though, couldn't really see anything, if you know what I mean. Is it me, or was the theme MUSIC the same three notes played over and over and over? Did the music stop halfway through the movie, or did I become tone-deaf to it?
I have to say, the bathroom/kitchen scene was VERY informative in regards to pimple removal.

Well sure. I can honestly say I've never seen anything do as good a job on blackheads as that can opener did. Then he just slathered on a bit of corn relish. Of course, the corn relish is what attracted the mutant rooster to him in the end. Who played that part anyway? Kind of looked like Terry Bradshaw, but I'd have to see him with corn relish on his face to be sure.

More of a bottle opener than a can opener, but let's not split hairs. Funny you should mention Terry Bradshaw, that's what I was thinking, and I was going to photoshop a picture of him to be sure, but I can't find a good picture of corn relish. I tried a broccoli/cauliflower - cheese medley, but it made him look like Ernest Borgnine. The voice definitely isn't Ernest's. 

I'm pretty sure he was played by Ted Levine.   :tongueout:
(http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/7927/stottlemeyergp1.png) (http://imageshack.us)
(it puts the lotion in the basket...)

You're right! And now that nude dance with his weiner tucked between his legs makes sense. It was a nod to his earier role. The little dog should have been a clue.

About the little dog in the movie.  Did anyone feel a trite bit let down by the scene where he shared a plate of spaghetti with that cocker spaniel in the back alley next to an Italian restaurant?  I really felt he should have stayed with Bellina the talking chicken in the end. 

How ever did they get that orangutan to kick that guy in the groin like that?

Ever time I see it, I mean EVERY TIME, I just have to laugh and laugh and laugh until I pass clean out.  :thumbup:

Believe it or not, the orangutan was CGI. You can hardly tell though.

Jacob Marley's ghost and Henry Kissinger were also CGI. But was nice to see the old-school FX on that guy with the fishing pole though his head. Made me cringe.

Yes the fishing pole was great but I swear it was done with stop motion animation.  However, that scene leading up to it where the flying piranas attacked Kirk Cameron on the boat during his quest for the lost city of R'lyeh...gasp...that was simply to die for...so choice, so choice. 

Oh yeah, that part rocked. I heard Corey Feldman actually put on a motion capture suit and played Cthulhu. That would explain why we only saw a solo Corey Haim in that hedge trimmer duel with the three sasquatches.

Speaking of Coreys, did anyone get tingles when Corey Hart sang the closing song in a duet with the late Ethel Merman?  I've heard rumors recently that the guy who did the movie's score was the same person who wrote the music for many NES video games in the 80s.  I knew I've heard his work somewhere before. 

I thought the music during the hatching scene sounded a bit like Super Mario Brothers 3. Sounds kind of eerie on a theremin, doesn't it?

The hatching scene, oh Andy C now you've done it!  I'm going to laugh for the rest of the night now about that baby dinosaur popping out and saying "NOT THE MAMMA".  Good times, good times.  Although when that dinosaur grew up and had a gay affair with that fury fellow Cha-ka it surprised even me. 

Good ear! It's actually an Ondes-Martenot, but who's counting?

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/martenot.jpg)
SCARLET FRY'S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST
composer Mortimer "Sparkie" Chucklefanny recording the haunting cue 'Are You Gonna Eat That?'.

Getting Chucklefanny was a major coup for the producers. The man is this generation's Happy Kyne. Who would have believed he'd team up with Ice-T and the Mike Curb Congregation to do The Love Theme from Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest? Incredible.

You know, I thought the book was way better than the movie. :teddyr:

How could it NOT be? I could fashion a book out of construction paper, bind it with rat innards, write it with phlegm in an extinct language and paint the cover with human feces, christen it in a blasphemous ceremony of animal sacrifice, human torture and hallucinogenic intoxication while reading the bible backward with nothing on except a bow tie and a toupee and it would be better than the movie.   

hahah! Karma definitely!!  :bouncegiggle:

I think a lot of people just don't understand SFJH.  I mean the deep social commentary, the 5 dimensional characterizations, the mood, lighting and pacing - how these all fit together.  The sum is greater than the parts.

Hints of Kubrick undertoned several scenes; notable in my mind was the close-up of the grasshopper's eye(s) reflecting that incredibly choreographed fight scene between the monkey-zombies and the vampiric flying ants (**).

Such camera work, such vision.

(**) HA...no spoiler here...if you haven't seen it yet, you'll just have to watch it to see who wins this epic battle.

Your parole officer said you're not supposed to be smoking that. .

yes, that's why I'm waiting on the special edition of Inside the Actor's Studio... a film of this greatness needs to be fully understood.

Indeed, it is a very complex film. If you look beyond the blood, gore, giant mecha and swarms of sea cucumbers, this is a deeply philosophical movie, synthesizing the ideas of many great philosophers, such as Nietsche, Kierkegaard, Kafka and Miller from Repo Man. Can anyone watch the scene where Scarlet Fry's head pops off and flies around the room without thinking of Descartes? I think not.

I have to admit the film left me hanging when they didn't identify the mutant in the potato sack who gunned down Benedict Arnold.  I'm hoping all this and more will be covered in the sequel.  Speaking of that, I've heard that we finally find out which Wookie impregnated Scarlett. 

Oh, the mutant was purely symbolic. It represented the general malaise of the post-Vietnam years. That was meant to stand in stark contrast to the poor-but-happy recluse who spent all of his time in the bathtub watching an old Betamax cassette of the Apple Dumpling Gang. You see? Quite simple really.

I'm not going to spoil it for you, but I'll tell you this: It was one of the FEMALE Wookies.

Was this particular Wookie K.D. Lang?

So do I, ,, a little white wine sauce, or maybe some marinara, as long as they're not overcooked and you leave a little fat on them, they're OK. Hard to pick a vegetable to go with them though.

I respectively disagree Andy C.  To truly understand the symbolism of the recluse you have to note certain points of dialog.  For example in the scene with the tuba playing poor orphan;

"Get yer arse outta my bathtub."

See, instead of saying "out of" per se, he uses the term "outta" which, to me anyhow, means he yearns much more human contact but his inner feelings hold him back.   Almost a Quasimodo effect if you will but without the horrid looks and bells.

Yes, yes, I see..... You've raised another interesting theme that weaves its way through the story - that of the arse. In this movie's scant six-hour running time, we're shown about 3,893 different images of a cow's arse, a skunk's arse, a horse's arse and Ted Turner. I know it means something, but what?

If you pause the movie at the exact frame where the scene switches from the horses arse, to Ted Turner, you will find one frame where the two scenes are superimposed. If you watch this on a television with separate Red, Green, and blue inputs, and plug the blue cable into the green port at the television, the green cable into the red port, and of course the red cable into the the blue port, you see some on-screen artifacts. THEN, if you apply a 1993 ohm (remember than number, it becomes important later) resistor to the center of the patch cable (sorry if I do not know the proper terminology), you see a completely different set of artifacts. THEN, if you look at the picture through TWO sets of 3-d glasses arranged so each eye is looking through both a red and a blue filter (If you only have one pair of 3-d glasses, you can fold them in half and look through one eye), you will see an arse, with a tattoo of an arse on it, and THAT arse with have an arse-shaped tattoo on IT. This pays homage to an episode of Beavis and Butthead where the pair spoke of such a tattoo (Beavis and Butthead premiered in 1993, told you it would become important). Beware, I tried it and swapped the RGB plugs BACKWARDS (instead of plugging the blue cable into the green port at the television, the green cable into the red port, and the red cable into the the blue port, I plugged the blue cable into the RED port at the television, the green cable into the BLUE port, and of course the red cable into the the GREEN port), and I came to weeks later wandering the streets of a small town in Guatemala wearing nothing but a thick layer of pistachio pudding, and asking people if the word "sphincterhymen" was in the dictionary. People were laughing at me, and handing me randoms objects and saying "See if you can make THIS disappear!" and pointing toward my backside. That incident is documented as the reason I have been asked by both the Republican AND Democratic parties to NOT vote for them, as they believe it will damage their reputations.

What the hell you been smoking, son?

D. All the above.

Thank you for bringing this up.  I think Ghouck is boldly pointing out several necessary aspects of the film one might notice while under hallucinogens.

Has anyone noticed when you play Dark Side Of The Moon and watch this film while standing on your head eating fried junkfood that it synchs up perfectly.  It also works with other albums such as;
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i169/darksider66/rappindummy.jpg)

Thank you guys for introducing me to Star Wars Kid.  Now my life is complete  :teddyr:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEM3a7znNE8&feature=related#

I heard it was Willy Tyler and Lester. Actually, a quick google of "scarlet fry calico cooper ventriloquism egg yolks" turned up a page that claims it works with recordings of any ventriloquist act. However, there is an urban myth in circulation that says if you do it with Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, you will find a clue that leads to hidden Freemason treasure. The Mythbusters tried it, but only managed to blow up a block of balistics gel and set Jamie's mustache on fire.

ROFLMAO!!!!

At some point, one of us is actually going to watch this movie and be dreadfully disappointed.

Haha...

What's cool is that a Google search of "Scarlet Fry Calico Cooper" turns of THIS THREAD as #4 hit on Page 1!!   :bouncegiggle:

Google Search Page (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Scarlet+Fry+calico+Cooper&btnG=Search)

It's actually #3 on a google search of just "scarlet fry" . I was the other half of the directing team on scarlet fry and I think this post is the funniest s**t I have ever read. I actually want to see the movie you guys have created...except that it would probably be like 14 hours long.

Your other half was quite the jackass with his spammy ways, thus turning your movie into an object of ridicule on this board.  On the other hand, they say no publicity is bad publicity, as long as they spell the name right, so good luck with SCARLETT FRIES FASTFOOD TERRORFEST.

No, but this person was K.D. Lang's stunt double in that OTHER really crappy movie, so with those being the only two movies he's been in (Yea, weird that K.D. had a MALE stunt double), he's 2 for 2 in crappy, boring, unintelligible films. Between the two, those films have the personality of a pubic louse.

I had heard that Brent Spiner doubled for K.D. Lang on this movie, although I'm still not entirely convinced they're different people.

They're two different people NOW...was a time they were one....but they split into two...

    (http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/untitled-122.jpg)

( By the way....this is an ACTUAL photo of Brent-big head,and KD-small head-pre split...and the girl is Miss Cooper! )

I saw a documentary on that surgical procedure. It seems they only used 18th century hand tools and drugs produced SOUTH of Mexico. The operation was performed in an old sawmill that had since been used as a stable for manically depressed horses, then turned into a Cracker Barrel restaurant. It was in Iowa, and  since the Cracker Barrel failed its health inspection, it was converted into a hospital (In Iowa, apparently it is harder for a RESTAURANT to pass health inspections that a HOSPITAL). The operation was a success, but has since been commonly referred to as "The Fiat Job", since, like any Fiat dealership, after the work was done, there were several parts left over, and nobody knew where they went, , but the subject worked, so WFT. . .
The same group of surgeons, only a year later, performed a double emergency procedure on Madonna and Courtney Love to surgically remove their sluttieness. It was a complete failure in all aspects.

Speaking of surgical procedures, I have to admit that Dr. Phil did play a great quack physician in the movie.  When he did that evil breast enhancment and butt lift on Janet Reno's character...well...words could not describe my reaction to the scene. 

I loved that part, and the way they digitally recreated the late Sam Jaffe as his assistant/conscience.

"But why, Phil? What good can it possibly do to enhance Janet Reno in this way? You're mad."

And it was especially effective because they foreshadowed the whole thing, and provided a glimpse into Dr. Phil's madness, by showing that tractor with hubcaps on the way into his house.

Still not sure if I buy the hidden basement door to his rec room/operating theatre, though. Just seemed a little too easy for the newly-enhanced Reno to slip out and start devouring livestock on the surrounding farms.

If the other director came in here and was honest about who he was then we might have tried to see and support the film, but his/she came in here and tried to create a buzz and wasn't every clever enough not to use a email address that didn't have his name in it.
Most of use can smell BS a mile away ... he's not the first to try to create a buzz about a movie he won't be the last. Just be honest is that so hard?

I may be the only one here who found this film to be mostly boring and pretentious, due I believe to the ridiculous camera angles and the boring, predictable dialogue. There are some parts of this film, particularly the scenes with the wookies and later on with Janet Reno that have very obviously been improvised on the spot by the actors themselves. However there is one brightly shining moment in this film which transcends the boring stupidity of the rest of the movie and makes the 3 hour wait till its arrival worth every second of painful viewing, you must watch the 3 hours or so leading up to this scene to understand it. I'm referring to the scene in the basement operating room where the digital Sam Jaffe  pauses while handing a scalpel to Dr. Phil. During the close up of his face, while he considers the incredibly low depths to which his life as assistant/conscience has sunk you can see reflected in his eyes the classic scene from "Gunga Din" in which Jaffe as Gunga Din stands on the temple spire sounding his bugle, then is shot by the Thuggee army and falls to his death. This scene is a masterpiece of cinema, symbolising man's endless striving to reach above himself only to be brought low by the actions of a cruel and unfeeling universe. This one scene makes up for the rest of this awful film and makes it worth watching.

Same here, fortunately (of, if you are my dry cleaners, then UNfortunately), by body had several other functions besides speech in which to react with.


Predictable dialog? Are you telling me that in the scene with the Hobos and the Mexican sailor, you "Predicted" the old woman was going to mumble "4691 irradiated haggis" over a hundred and seventy times unanswered? Are you telling me that when Janet Reno took her clothes off and grabbed her mommy-bags, you "Predicted" she was going to sing and dance the "My Milkshake" song?

Also, when Dr. Phil came into the room to perform the breast enhancement, did anyone else notice that:
1) While emerging from another operating room into the one Janet was in, he took off a name tag that said "Dr Phil, Proctologist", and put one on that said "Dr Phil, Plastic Surgeon".
2) He didn't wash his hands.
3) At no time did he wear latex gloves.

This just supports the theory that this film is in reality a documentary.

I would agree, , except documentaries usually have a few things that this film doesn't: namely direction, information, facts, a point of view, continuity, consistency, intelligence, acting, narration, mood music, someone to spell-check the credits (or "CRIDITS" as they would have it), lighting, an introduction and a conclusion with substance in between, intelligence, the support of expert opinion, and style. Did you notice the "Credits" were merely a list of people denying responsibility for, and accusing others of various parts of the film. Pretty bad when Lloyd Kaufman and Ewe Boll have BOTH said "Now THAT film is a real pile of crap". I actually lost a couple of pounds while watching it, but only because a little part of me DIED inside. I hope it wasn't anything vital, , unless some idiot decides to make a sequel, in which case I hope it WAS vital, because I don't want to live in a world so cruel as to let that happen.

Ghouck, please don't tell me you failed to watch the few seconds after the credits rolled for the exclusive surprise.  I have to wonder about the connection between Leif Garrett and the Hydra.  Although if you look in the distance you can see something falling into the water.  I think it may be a satellite. 

I must have missed it. I missed a bit around then because I was trying to wipe the barf out of my eyes.

Nobody to spell-check the credits? That simply is not true. I distinctly remember seeing someone listed as proot reaner.

If you play Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest backwards you'll discover that Calico Cooper is really a Tabby.

Better yet, if you don't play it at all, Unicorns will give you money and candy wrapped in a rainbow. Women will show their boobies to you, and all your drinks will be "On The House". Your boss will give you a HUGE raise and a couple weeks of all-expense paid vacation. Your kids will get smarter, and your johnson will get bigger. That neighbor's dog that always craps on your lawn will stop, and start bringing you the newspaper. That REALLY hot woman at the office, the one with the b1tchy attitude, she'll proposition you for sex, and you'll turn her down in front of the whole office, and your boss will fire her for sexual harassment. You'll learn of a distant relative you've ever heard of before, and he'll give you a plasma TV, a Ferrari, and a mansion is Spain, just because he doesn't even use them any more. Your hair will stop falling out, your body fat percentage will drop to around 6-7, and your wife will turn into that nymphomaniac you always wanted, and magically know how to cook.

So, my suggestion is: Don't watch it. . 

OH BOY!!!!   I'm gonna start not watching it right now!!!   :teddyr:

Hey, you took that directly from the subplot they left on the cutting room floor. Rob Schneider watches a mysterious DVD of weird imagery (people turning into furniture, chickens drinking martinis, exploding zucchini, the usual) and one week later, all of that good stuff happened. The ironic twist was that his enhanced johnson attracted the equally enhanced Janet Reno, who was munching on some sheep nearby. What followed would have meant an NC-17 rating, so the filmmakers opted to drop the entire subplot, in keeping with their intention to produce a family-friendly horror film. At least that's what my friend said, and his brother was the proot reaner on the picture.

CONGRATULATIONS!, you already ARE not watching it. . . See how easy that was. . .

Get out of town!  A friend of my brother's coworker's sister's husband was supposedly an assistant to the assistant of the best boy so I've heard.  He said the smell coming from the set was awful.  Something to do with a port-a-potty being knocked over into the buffet table. 

So that's why James refuses to watch this movie!!??  :twirl:

Yes, I am. In his last film this scene was done with the Red Mountain Volunteer Fire Department playing the part of the hobos, an actual lieutenant in the Austrian navy played the part of the Mexican sailor and a CGI talking coyote played the part of the old woman. The coyote can be heard to mumble "3575 irradiated haggis" 153 times.
The film maker refers to dollars as "irradiated haggis", 3575 represents the amount in dollars and cents that the highest paid member of the cast received for his performance, in this particular film the naval officier received $35.75. The number of times the phrase is repeated is a reference to number of alimony payments the director owes to his former wives.
Janet Reno's nude song and dance scene was something she's been dying to do, she wants to shed her goody two shoes image, this film's rating made it obvious she would the one female lead who took it all off for the camera.

True, she wanted to shed that "goody two shoes image" all LAWYERS seem to acquire.

How can anyone suggest that Reno is trying to be a bad girl in this movie? Yes, she is surgically enhanced by Dr. Phil and dances nude for most of the move. And yes, she does go on a nude rampage through the countryside. But if you look beyond the brutal assault on Rob Schneider and all of the pigs and goats she devours, it's pretty clear that Reno is a good guy.

After all, did she not save that little boy from the bullies, and divert the river after the dam burst? Sure, they looked accidental, but we know better. And you can't deny that Reno saves Tokyo by teaming up with the nude, augmented Madeleine Albright and battling Gigan and King Ghidorah (yeah, they technically weren't the Toho monsters for copyright reasons, but they were clearly ripoffs).

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

That explains the mustache. .


Yes, by roasting him in an open-pit barbecue and eating him with a Steakhouse-style Chili as a side-dish, , not totally what one would consider a "Save", but it DID save him from having to endure any further filming.


Yes, she diverted it AWAY from the drought-stricken farmlands, and TOWARDS a populated downtown metropolis. 

I did enjoy (briefly) the part where Liberachi rode in on the day-glo zebra and fought Reno in that cage. It took a while to realize their fight was choreographed EXACTLY to the first fight between Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell, with Liberachi representing Randy of course. The only deviation was the addition of the sex toys and the weed-eater. Reno's mowhawk and tattoos were spot on though, as were the trademark Chuck Liddell beer-gut and man-hooters.

I've heard a legend of a real ghost of a boy appearing in a window during the sheep shearing scene.  Does anyone know the validity of this?  I've rewound that scene several times and no matter how hard I look I can't see it.  I mean I think I sort of see where it could be but I'm totally not sure.  Same thing with the midget hanging himself during the bunker scene.

I've not seen this, but you can see a birthmark on Janet Reno's left boob that is shaped like David Koresh.


That I saw, but I do not remember at what point. It was just a little autoerotic asphyxiation, nothing to worry about.

I saw the ghost. Right in the middle of the sheep shearing scene, if you pause at exactly the moment where the sheep kicks John Larroquette in the coconuts, just look in the bottom right pane of the window behind his left shoulder. Just above the reflection of Elvis, and slightly to the right of the Boggy Creek monster's image, you will see a Basset Hound. Hold a mirror up to the screen and stand on your head. In the dog's left eye is a small boy.

This was tested out on the same Mythbusters episode as the Charlie McCarthy freemason treasure myth. In this case, Grant built a mirror holding rig out of the old sword-swinging robot and they used a dead pig as a human analog. Tory took a painful-looking spill while pausing the video, but they managed to catch the whole thing on the high-speed camera as the radio-controlled Olds Cutlass plowed into the television. They concluded that the myth was plausible.

Ok I took everone's advice and spotted what is supposedly a ghost but I have to say sadly this isn't of validity.  Rather its one of many crew members caught on tape during the movie.  I think it was the guy holding the boom mike but I can't be too sure.   

If you run the soundtrack through the right filters, you can hear someone say "I'm the boom mike operator, I'm not supposed to be in this movie, except that for a boom, they gave me an old fishing pole with a mike duct-taped on the end, so I have to stand HERE, in the shot, just to get the mike close enough. Please ignore me if they forget to CG me out of the scene. If you're a hot babe between the ages of 15 and 20, like older men, and will be in the seattle area around the hollidays, please email me at teen3point142hunter69@hotmail.com or camaromanclassof1982@hotmail.com, and maybe we can hook up for some booze and blunts and whatever else you want". 

Uh guys, just to keep this thread from getting closed...

Geez, is that Uwe Boll a hack or what, man?  What a DINK!   Sheeesh....

That'll keep the mods happy.  (thumbs up to Andrew, leaves room quietly)

Well, it was bound to happen, what with all the buzz surrounding this movie. The Asylum is set to release the very suspiciously titled "Skillet Frau's Junkmail Whorefest." Yeah, like that's not a ripoff!  :hatred:

Maybe they can get Mink Stole to play the main role...

I once saw Scarlet Fry's Junk.

Does that count?

I once knew a hooker named "Minnie Mazola". .

That just jogged my memory. Wasn't Donald "Duck" Dunn in Scarlett Fry? Or maybe it was some other bearded bass player smoking a pipe.

No, that was the Howard "Duck" Dunn.  Donald had allergy to the makeup much like WC Fields. 

A transvestite that was allergic to makeup. Who'd have guessed?

that wasn't a transvestite, it was Mary-Kate at an appropriate weight...

I meant WC Fields. Who'd have guessed he was allergic to makeup?

I thought you meant Dunn, which would be a terrible thing to say about the coolest (albeit most understated) character in The Blues Brothers.

I'm pretty sure the bass player in Scarlett Fry is Duck Dunn, but it could be Janet Reno in a double role. The beard makes it hard to tell.

 Andrew : Does to spammers what Godzilla does to Tokyo! :cheers:

No pets, but if I had a Corgi, of course I'd name him Eine.

Hey!

I just realized SCARLET FRY'S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST is included in the Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares 50 movie pack!

I'm gonna watch that sucka! Watch it gooood!

And who the HELL is Phil McCrakin??!!!!!????

Man this thread brings back fond memories.

I went through and read most of this thread because I'd missed the second half of it for some reason.
Man, it's like a bad nightmare!
A sick, twisted horrible nightmare.

I keep having to remember that "Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest" is a real movie.

(http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/3579/foldere9ac6a5.jpg) (http://img48.imageshack.us/my.php?image=foldere9ac6a5.jpg)

Yes, sometimes it is better if we lie to ourselves and deny the existence of something...

I just previewed the first ten minutes.

I can respond: "No, it's not".  :bouncegiggle:

I saw this on my list of recent topics, and could only think "Oh, God...THIS THREAD!  @!&#@!"

No kidding. I read the whole thing over and laughed like crazy. I forgot how far we'd gone with it. Great stuff.

Andrew,
You should definitely put this on your list of movies to review.
I'd have to take a screenshot of the homepage with Scarlet Fry on it.  That would be priceless!   :teddyr:

Man, this thread has more lives than an ROTLD zombie!!

And, like them, it eats your BBBRRRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!!!!!!!! :buggedout:

:bouncegiggle:

I just want you all to know how hurt I am by this thread. You spend all this time ragging on this film, and not once-EVER!-did any of you acknowledge my ongoing lawsuit against the makers of this film for listing me in the credits under "Best BOY"!!! I found the use of the term "boy" to be humiliating and demeaning and sexist.

Of course, I am legally bound to not discuss the case further or to post links to articles about it. Instead, I can only offer this link to explain the pain I have suffered:

www.badgerbadgerbadger.com (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com)

This thread is weird.

This weird is thread...

A brief foray into reality: many of you are familiar with my uh, eclectic viewing habits, so take it for what it's worth when I say I literally could not finish this one. True, it was a beyond amateurish home video recording (not necessarily a bad thing around here) but  about the only way I can describe what I saw was 'skinhead gore porn'. It's supposed to be some sort of anthology, but this just means no attempt at plot or anything - just scenes of chunky white boys torturing and killing women, elderly people, gays, etc.

Whoever made this should be ashamed of themselves. 

Oh yeah, your gore effects suck, too.  :thumbdown:

We now return to your regularly scheduled thread. :smile:

Wasn't this released by Brain Damage Films? Doesn't that explain everything? I accidently rented one of their films and when I saw it was a Brain Damage film on the way home on the bus, I damn near got off and walked back to the video store. I didn't and have lived with that regret ever since.

Still, the lawsuit and being ignored by this board...I may cry. And then write about it in my journal. And lie on my four-poster canopy bed and kick my feet. Then cuddle with Boo-Boo Bear. Maybe gorge on cheesecake and ramen noodles later...

Phil McCrackin?

Dick Hurtz?

You're lucky. They had me credited as 'Clapper Loader' - which sounds dirty.

And I had to clean up after that @*$# orangutan.  :hatred:

I was the head "fluffer"  :bluesad:

Who did the other parts?  :question:

Didn't he used to work with Ben Dover?

I actually really and truly - no lyin' or nuthin' - know a fellow named "Michael Hunt".

That's "Mike" to his friends.

Ouch!  It definitely sounds like a (http://www.badmovies.org/common/skull-cl.gif)

There used to be a guy in our dorm by the name Harry Pitts.

And I knew a girl who dated a guy named Richard Rheams.  NOBODY called him "Dick".

To his face, anyhow.

 :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl: :bouncegiggle:

My mom's name is Christi but everybody calls her Chris.
Before she met my dad, she almost married a guy with the last name of Cross.   :tongueout:

This coulda been your mom!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SucBdl1rKy0&feature=related

These could have been your siblings!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy58hiO0hrM&feature=related

i went to high school with a guy named Richard Head. The school paged him to come to the office only one time calling him Dick.  Even the teachers were rolling on the floor laughing when that happen. After that they always called him Richard.

Also knew a proctologist named Ivan Seymour Buttz. He took it in good humor and said with a name like his, his choice of profession was a given.

I used to do data entry for the state of NY putting immunization records into their network. My favorite name? Harry Wang. :lookingup:

I once worked with a guy named Richard Cock.  It was pronounced "cook" (or so he said), but still.  I would have hated to be him in grade school.

It's pronounced "Fronkonsteen"....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaPZZJVDx6Y

(http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh76/kingflem01/rusty_kuntz.jpg)
Yep its real...and one of the best names ever...

I went to a school with a guy named "Jack Goff"

Yeah, I've seen this. I've seen a lot of bad horror films, but this is one of the worst ever. The stories seem pointless and are not scary at all. And just when you think it's over, there one more story to waste your time. Awful movie.

I got a 50 pack with this in it. It plays like a really bad student film. I never imagined I could find a film that made Manos look like a cinematic masterpiece but this turd did it. Monkey crap fights at the zoo are more intelligent. However if the changes were made that members of this board have suggested it would be a vast improvement.

Monkey Crap Fights FTW!

After buying a 100-movie collection with this sh!tfest in it, I had to watch this movie first.

I ain't giving these people awards, but, you know, I have seen a LOT worse.  Yeah, it is pointless and Mizz Cooper has like one minute of screen time and looks mostly skanky in a not appealing way. It is sad when the best actor in the entire movie is the homosexual who likes to be spanked by a skateboard. (I'm not making that up, either.)

I'm debating tracking down the director who started this thread and interview him for my blog (which is set dormant for nearly three years....). I'll definitely invite him to review this thread and get his opinions.  If this comes to pass, I will notify this thread so you can avoid that interview, as well as the film.

If only they could have put some naked chicks in it.....

Scarlet is called Brian these days...

Yes, and he has taken to smoking French cigarettes, holding them backwards in his hand so his palm cups the burning end. I can live with the blonde highlights in his hair, but that ascot HAS to go!!

I faxed him a memo yesterday.

"Faxed" ?!?!  :buggedout:

It's 1992 all over again  :wink:

What do you mean "again"? Don't you mean "still"?

Good lord!  Did I sleep through the millennium?

I guess this wasn't your day week month year decade two decades to quit sniffing glue. .

So I'm curious...how does SFJH compare to, say, Manos the Hands of Fate?

Hmmm...apples and chocolate bars.  Manos is sustained weirdness.  SFJH is just there. You can see there is potential but the makers are so lazy that everything ends up squandered.  Manos at least appears to be a case of people trying to do something but not knowing what the hell they are doing, but SFJH is just laziness.  "Do we have an end for this story?" Nope, but let's just film it anyhow. "Do we have better ideas for our host and his on-screen bits?" Sure, but that would require some polishing and reshooting, so who really cares?

Do NOT buy any Mill Creek set just to watch this, but if you want to watch insultingly bad Todd Sh*ts, I mean, Todd Sheets pieces of fecal matter, then go for it.  Cost-wise, I'd recommend buying the $17.99 100 movie set at Amazon.  It has "Goth", and while it wasn't all that good, it didn't embarrass me to sit there and watch it.  Plus, the women were sort of attractive, except for the stupid stripper towards the end.

Scarlett Fry came round my flat the other day, saying he hadn't had a bite in days...







so I shot him.

Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :buggedout: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Manos at least had a plot, granted not a good plot, not a plot that made any sense, but it was a plot to it. (Granted two plots may of been involved with the second being the realsing of Manos onto an unsuspecting public.)
SFJH is really just a series of short scenes using cheesy rubber effects and crappy death scenes that are all held together through cut scenes of a poor man's Sid Haig in bad make up.
As far as which is worse, they are both equally bad but for different reasons. However SFJH has better editing while Manos has better acting.



A lot more than glue sniffing was involved in making SFJH. I suspect a frontal lobotomy or two.

Man, they quit making the good glue for sniffing back when I was still stupid enough to try it but too afraid of my dad kicking the living sh*t out of me.

I think I must have lost those years some time after I ate my first entire box of Ding Dongs with a half-gallon of chocolate milk. Everything has been a blur since then....

I dont understand why Manos is doomed to be called as the worst film ever made when "The Return Of The Boogeyman (1994)" has that movie beat at least for each time the radio was dropped into the tub.

Oh... How many times was the radio droped into the tub? I lost count after 10.

For the record, I just perv'd some pictures of Calico Cooper. While I couldn't find any nudity, I have to say she's kinda hot is many of her pictures.

BTW, I just recently found out that Alyssa Milano did a few nude scenes, and am kinda pi$$ed nobody here informed me. I thought you guys had my back on these important issues.

She was just here and begged me to give her the keys to my car made of cheese. I don't know where she was going, but she won't get far....

I been hearing about Alyssa Milano from my cousin for years... (at least 15 years ago maybe longer... )

Both you and your cousin need to stay away from her, she's MINE! :teddyr:

She belongs to John Matrix  :smile:

Trust me and others when we say there is far worse films out there than "The Return of the Boogeyman". A lot worse. Watch "The Amazing Transplant" for starters. I am positive the members of this group can give you a long list of worse films than that as well.

Yeah, she did some nude scenes for Showtime's Outer Limits and a few other films. I know one was some lame vampire flick where she was the virginal freshman who's boyfriend was pressuring into having sex and the object of the vampire. She goes wild after being bitten the first time then sleeps with everything. Even has a lesbian love scene with her in it. I can't remember the title but I am sure someone here knows it.

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE . . .

she was all of 19, I think.

That movie seriously carbonated my hormones when I was in college.

Really?  The whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking, "Did she have the plastic surgery for this movie?  And if she did, what a bad, bad move."

Jennifer Tilly was more interesting in that movie.

Jennifer Tilly was in that as well. I never noticed. Was too busy looking at boobies to register her presents.  :tongueout:

Hey Ghouk, just wanted to let you know Linnea Quigley did a couple of nude scenes, though you may have to search a bit to find 'em.  Got yo' back, dawg!

They're just friends, totally platonic, she's saving herself for me. . . :teddyr:


 :thumbup: Love ya man, good lookin' out. . .

So did anyone get the special edition DVD?  Supposedly they have 90 minutes of commentary from Harvey Fierstein. :teddyr:

Wasn't on mine, I had a deleted scene involving a goose and some Lego blocks.  :question:

Mine had both. It cost a little extra, but to worth it to hear Harvey relate the story about where he hid the Lego blocks when the cops pulled him and the goose over for drunk driving. Apparently the goose had a long history of driving drunk. Damned geese anyway.

Oddly, I heard about a Region-Free version that had a new version of the original film ]with marionettes!

I generally try to resist calling Manos the worst movie ever made.  I do, however, call it the worst movie I've yet to see.  I know there's probably worse garbage out there.  I was merely asking for a comparison, as Manos is a benchmark "painfully bad" film for many.

Bump to this thread for some of the newbies out there, it is seriously one of the funniest ever on this board.

After all the fireworks on the board, I finally got this thing in a Mills Creek 50 pack.  Good lordy, it was DREADFUL!!!!

A trip down memory lane: where are Cheezeflix, ghouck, Sister Grace, RC, Susan, Doc Daneeka, and the others these days?

Cheeze checked in briefly this summer . . . I have no idea about Ghouck.  I kinda miss him and wish he was still here.  Same with RC and Susan.

Sister Grace puts in an occasional appearance.

Yeah, Ghouck just...vanished. I seem to remember Circus relating a message from him about, what, a year ago? Jeez.

And RC is part of the foundation of this forum. I miss him. I even wondered about him and if he came back while I was out for a time. Any news about either of them? Anyone?

And whatever happened to Scarlet Fry? Two movies and--BAM!--she (he/it?) vanished faster than Lindsey Lohan's common sense. I was kinda hoping for a weekly series on Fox. You know, a touch of class and intelligence  in the face of other Fox sho..... :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:  Okay, wow, just couldn't keep a straight face long enough. Yeah, Scarlet Fry's ANYTHING sucks poop from the business end of a potato cannon.

Wow, I didn't realize how many regulars are absent. But then, I haven't been hanging around as much lately either. Just put a feed of all new posts on my desktop at work, which should help me stay involved.

I just read this whole thread over again, and laughed my ass off. We really were in fine form, and in hindsight, we probably gave the Scarlet Fry people more buzz on this board than they could have hoped for. Not that it did them any good.

Since Darksider bumped this thread, I've acquired a copy of Harlot Frey's Junkyard Whore Feast, and I'm trying to bring myself to watch it. This is actually taking more psyching up than The Human Centipede. That at least promised to be interesting. From anything I've read, Scarlet Fry is just an ordeal.

That's true up until the point where Rosie O'Donnell hosts the topless Black Mass... watch carefully to see what the feathered Doberman does with the baby, it's one of the most original concepts I've seen in low-budget crapfests! 

Um, maybe.

It's a little known tidbit from a very early Scarlet Fry student film that there was a scene involving a flannel-graph rhino with fish-like scales and a baby kangaroo.  The rhino even barked in that scene; some diehard SF fans I know were disappointed with JFHF for this reason - they say the student version was better.

As for originality, I even read one rumor (though I cannot attest to its accuracy) that SF got the idea for that scene while researching some obscure Romanian literature in the original language; the rumor stated he was searching for a part for a Bela Lugosi look-alike roommate he had at the time.  I'm not sure how that got translated to a rhino, and the roommate has never surfaced to confirm or deny.

I just received SCARLET FRY'S NIGHTMARE ALLEY (a screener copy) in the mail.  Any one know if this contains as many Tajikistani Synth-Pop interludes as JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST?

I heard there was a forty-minute chase sequence done as a Bollywood musical number with Andy Dick on the synthesizer, but you know how rumors are.

I heard that the three way love scene between Michael Caine, Glenn Close, and Jack Black was truly Oscar material.  However, the Academy felt the scene's inclusion of numerous stuffed "Winnie the Pooh" bears was too controversial for an awards ceremony.

Oh, wow, that makes more sense. Pooh BEARS...I must have missed the "bears" part when I read that on IMDB.com.

Did a little research and discovered that Scarlet Fry is now planning to re-release this opus, in the ORIGINAL ARAMAIC!!!!!! :cheers: :cheers:
And he is restoring the deleted scene with Rob Zombie as the Prophet Muhammad! :buggedout:







(Just had to resurrect this thread, the second funniest in the history of Bad Movies.org!!!!)

Well,that'll get Zombie on the Taliban hit list,-if HALLOWEEN 2 hasn't put him their already... :lookingup:

OK, it's been six months, time to resurrect this wonderful thread!

Scarlet Fry is now working on his magnum opus, ELVIS PRESLEY: THE ZOMBIE YEARS.

The role of The King will be played by Samuel L. Jackson, with Lucy Liu as Priscilla and Danny Devito as Richard Nixon!

What's even funnier is that I've had to deal with "Scarlet Fry," aka Walter Ruether.  He sent me a copy of his "film" (and I use the term VERY loosely) NIGHTMARE ALLEY for review, and when I didn't declare it the greatest thing since sliced bread (more like the loosest cinematic stool since MANOS), proceeded to launch an "annonymous" attack on me, declaring me a "homo" and "unfit to review [his] p**s."  

If you google "Scarlet Fry's Nightmare Alley" that particular review is the first result to pop up.  

EDIT: Rereading back through this thread...man, I should have known not to accept that screener from him. 

He emailed me, asking me for an address so he could send a copy of this film for me to review.  Now, I don't accept screeners (and the contact page states that), but after banning him due to this thread I had to shake my head.

His spelling and grammar say a great deal about his level of skill and intelligence. And the juvenile name calling and the "Criticism means nothing to me, but I'm obviously really angry" nonsense reminds me of just how he came to be banned here.

Who can forget this incoherent, misspelled hissy fit?
Wow, virtually no capitalization or punctuation at all. You can almost see him writing something like "lets eat grandpa after i help my brother jack off his horse."

That really is all the information I need. A bad review does not deter me, but seeing that it was apparently produced by an illiterate twelve-year-old -- that pretty much ensures I will never see it.

Ah likes cheese.

Havarti is mah favorite.

But I don't like pepperjack...

...but they're probably serving it at Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest, just to annoy me.

 :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Reminds me of a certain client who keeps emailing me for certain types of footage year in, year out ~ he's looking for stuff that was either never filmed or doesn't exist anymore.  :smile:

Ah likes cheesecake, and ah likes cheese, but I would never put cheese on cake...seems weird, like something they'd do at Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest.

I still loved the scene with the goldfish, the chainsaw, and the parakeet!

Although I did get kind of annoyed by the inevitable Wyrewizard post complaining that a real goldfish would never use a Husqvarna chainsaw.

I'm afraid you got that mixed up. 

Lucy Liu is playing the King, Danny Devito is Priscilla, and Richard Nixon is playing the part of Samuel L. Jackson. 

I thought he'd be going too far with the quadriplegic gymnast scene, but he really kept the parallel bars routine in good taste!

Don't ya just miss threads like this that never go away?

They disappear for a while, but end up rearing their ugly heads again, and again.

Uh...not that I can think of anyone that reminds me of...ahem.  :tongueout:

Dr. Menard . . . how good to see you again!

Well, I'm crushed. I just read something somewhere on the Internet (and we all know stuff on the Internet is all true) that Scarlet Fry NEVER EXISTED!!!!!! Apparently, Scarlet was a computer-generated entity, somewhat like Max Headroom, and was created from leftover code from the kid's series Reboot.

That would explain the low quality images, the unfunny humor and the unusual odor of burnt Velveeta.

Two questions remain: Who is gonna tell Scarlet Fry's mom? And...what the HELL has she been breastfeeding for the last 30 years?!?!

Seconded :smile:

Maybe that reminds you of... Scarlett Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest???  :question:

Apparently, it's available on Amazon for 40 cents: too expensive indeed.

www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/52055/scarlet-frys-junkfood-horrorfest/ (http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/52055/scarlet-frys-junkfood-horrorfest/)

 :teddyr:

He would have to pay ME to take a copy off his hands-I could use it as a coffee table coaster.

LOL  :bouncegiggle: :teddyr:

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

LOL + XD

Uh-oh: that link takes me to www.freelancer.com (http://www.freelancer.com) to hire people to work online, not to Scarlett Fry.  :bluesad: :wink:

Could someone please buy me a copy of this on the original 8mm master and send it to me: I can't project the film but I can use it to keep me clean undies in.  :twirl: :wink:

Bump

Anyone who is having a bad day should read this entire thread. :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

 :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :teddyr:

I hear that the sequel - Scarlet Fry's Underpants Crapolafest  :buggedout: - will be shot in South Africa in December.*

* I don't know what or who will be shot here and in which December, but I know something will happen.  :wink: :teddyr:

I remember discussing this sequel with Nicholas Webster and his wife Diana at the first screening of Manbeast, Myth or Monster. He was quite excited about a new film talent from South Africa, he kept saying that a Mr. T was going to be world famous some day. Alas, Mr. Webster left us in 2006 so we will never see his vision of "HMS Crapolafest". He said that was just a working title and would probably change.

Wow, how did I not notice this thread?  The beginning was hilarious!  :cheers:

Bumpo

Just make it a sticky  :wink:

Seems like Scarlet/Walter is still doing movies as a director and actor, mostly zero budget "crap" with very little voting counts on IMDb.
He's on Facebook and quite active for those interested  :teddyr:

Bump

Sorry, but I'm not going to bump anything with Scarlet Fry. I'm sure Scarlet has something contagious.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Scarlet Fry fever is a terrible malady, causing the sufferer to make horrible no-budget movies while laboring under severe delusions of actual talent.

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

Sounds like me on my first day at film school  :wink:

So that is what Zach Snyder suffers from, except he seems to find idiots to give him big-budgets.

We do not malign the creator of SUCKER PUNCH, java!  :hatred:

 :hot:
 :teddyr:
 :bouncegiggle:

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

As Marlon Brando would say "The horror, the horror......."  :wink: :wink:

THIS is Scarlett Fry!!

http://www.horrorgalore.com/interview/walter-ruether-talks-about-scream-machine (http://www.horrorgalore.com/interview/walter-ruether-talks-about-scream-machine)

He looks like me after a bad couple of nights AND i see tHAt his spellung hasnt improvedd att all :buggedout: :buggedout:

And he mentions 'Junkfood Horrorfest'!

But NOT his band of loyal merrie followers here, that ungrateful p**sant.

Wow. And that was posted. On the Internet. Using computers. Computers that have SPELL CHECK SOFTWARE!!!!!!!

Must not summon my inner Grammar Nazi....

A bad couple of nights?  It looks like he's been dead for a month and somebody just propped him up to take the picture. 

Until it's proven otherwise, I';m just going to assume anything "done" by this fellow was really done by some guys propping him up and waving him around Weekend at Bernies style. 

This thread is Exhibit A of why I love this forum so very much.
Seriously, for all newcomers, go back and read this from page 1.
It's worth your time!

Poor old SF has - 20 karma!

"Frankly,Scarlet,I don't give a karma!"

That happens to be a line in Scarlet Fry's new opus,GONE WITH THE WINDBAG,starring Donald Trump ,Tammy Faye Baker,and the ghost of Morton Downey Jr.

I think this thread is more entertaining than any of his movies.

I heard Scarlet Fry was trying to raise funding for his zombie version of Citizen Kane with an all dwarf cast, but he came up a bit short.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

He was supposedly marketing some other guy's film and then Andrew went and busted him.  :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :teddyr:

I also heard Scarlett Fry is re-making THE SOUND OF MUSIC in a daring new format, with no songs whatsoever and an all-zombie cast!

Aw, no: "The Hills Are Dead With The Sound of Brain Chomping"  :wink:

If this film is a success*, he will be re-imagining John Wayne's classic THE ALAMO, only the Mexicans will all be vampires and the Texian defenders will all be werewolves . . . and Santa Anna will SPARKLE!!!   :bouncegiggle:





*By Scarlett Fry standards, that means if more than ten people actually pay real money to own the DVD.

And no South Africans in the cast  :wink:

I was exploring somebody's karma changing history and found this on accident. I was surprised to see the most recent post was in December. Wow.
If only I could decipher Scarletfry's broken English.  :lookingup:

Bump for anyone to read if they're feeling low.

 :buggedout: :buggedout: +  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:



 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

This is the best kind of thread necromancy!

I heard J J Abrams has been tapped to develop the multi-billion dollar revisioning of this one.

Abrams promises real live hamsters as the creators envisioned, not the rats in hamster costumes as used in the original.

The man-eating coral snakes will still be performed by painted pipe cleaners, in homage to the original.

The rumor mill claims Benedict Cumberbatch has signed for the pivotal role of 'Fonzie's Stunt Double'.

...who will be riding a shark that jumps the Grand Canyon that is Annie Sprinkle's gaping maw of a cornhole.

For Dark Alex: enjoy but read from the first page.

Scarlett Fry had a brief but pivotal role as "Second Tall Man in Restaurant" in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR.

If you watch it, make sure you get the latest DVD with the deleted scenes and the commentary. 


Technically the "Deleted scenes" are just him barging in on his various actors while they're in the bathroom and once scene where he's cut out a picture from a magazine, taped it to a guy's face and seems to be trying to convince everyone that they actually got Samuel L. Jackson but ... well... they were deleted and they are almost scenes. 

Also for his commentary, it's filled with lines like "I don't even remember filming this," and "I left early that day and just told everybody to finish the scene."  Also he doesn't refer to any of his actors or crew by name, just by various ethnic slurs.

The scene where Scarlet is violated by a lamprey in the infamous orgy scene was also deleted. I can describe it in detail,if you like.
Lampreys and octopi play major parts. And Peter DeLuise has a cameo!

A Sad Note: The lamprey in the clown wig did in fact later dies from the injuries it suffered onscreen. This was covered up by Big Army Brass.

The lamprey scene was included on some prints; apparently local distributors cut it out.

There are probably about a hundred different cuts of this movie, depending on what the distributor thought was appropriate.

Apparently Troma cut down the movie & released it as a short in a compilation feature. Other shorts in that movie feature drug addicts watching a haunted VHS, a man who eats his neighbor, and a nursing home patient who killed Kennedy. Wish I could remember that title; don't bother checking Troma's website for it; they had to pull it for some reason.

I heard a remake was in the works starring Tom Cruise and Tommy Wiseau with Michael Bay set to direct.

That might actually make it better.

That would make it 100% better!

Do you remember the brief cameo in the original SFJFHF by Hulk Hogan as the mother of the bride?
His dress was simply FABULOUS!!  :bouncegiggle:

Bump

The sad part is, all jokes aside, I actually have this film on one of my Mill Creek multipacks.  It is AWFUL!
Nearly every imaginary scene in this thread would have actually made it better.

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

If I ever make it to Texas I want to watch this with you lol.

Me too!  :teddyr:

Heh. We should get everyone to visit Indy and watch this, but all on different weeks.

Imagine poor Indy after all those repeated viewings.  :bouncegiggle:

I'd rather just re-read this thread 20 times!

This comment from AndyC  :teddyr: :teddyr:

Bumpo: glad I found this again.

Isn't this the film with Doris Day before she became a virgin?  :question:

That was lost along with London After Midnight  :wink:

I'll never forget the cottage cheese-covered love scene with Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep, and the severed head of Robert Mitchum!

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

I watched the trailer online and this is plain poo with toppings from my undies added: in other words, there aren't any words to describe how bad it is.  :tongueout: :buggedout:

It's actually interesting reading this topic and just picking up on how much the internet has changed since this was posted in 2008. 

Didn't that feature a cameo by Linda Lovelace and her german shepard Rex?
If it does- I didn't see it.  

Then you need to rewatch the whole damn thing and pay more attention to every nuance this time around.

^ I did catch the flashed conniption fit inducing images of this:


(https://i.imgur.com/EsFs216.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)

Isn't this the one starring Doris Day after she became a virgin?  :question:

That copy was lost along with London After Midnight  :wink:

Isn't that the one where Charlie Manson hypnotizes Danny Trejo and makes him quack like a duck?

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

Bump

(https://www.horrorgalore.com/sites/default/files/interviews/scarlet-fry-talks-about-scream-machine.jpg)

I wasn't aware that the home of many Indie horror directors, Sub Rosa Studios and Brain Damage Films, released most of Scarlet's movies, but it makes perfectly sense. Still haven't seen any of his work though.

I saw the trailer of Junkfood Horrorfest and that was enough, believe me  :buggedout:

 :buggedout: :buggedout: :teddyr: :teddyr: