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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: Jack on July 28, 2008, 09:24:57 AM



Title: Candy Stripers
Post by: Jack on July 28, 2008, 09:24:57 AM
This one had been sitting on my wishlist forever, finally decided to pick it up.  Looked like it would be steamy, as in lots of T&A.  It had a little T&A, so what else?

We start with two girls riding in a car.  There is a radio report of UFO sightings.  They come across a car crash, and stop to help.  Apparently the people involved in the crash have been taken over by aliens.  I dunno, they don't really show anything.  The two girls flee, they crash their car, and wind up in the hospital.  At the hospital, one girl is cared for by a candy striper.  Yup, medical costs being what they are, you don't even get an actual nurse.  The girls tells the candy striper, "Kiss me, I'm dying...kiss me".  So she does.  The alien parasite is passed mouth-to-mouth into the candy striper (just like The Hidden), and now she's taken over.  The aliens basically control their victim, like they're pod people or something.  Horny pod babe people.

Okay, so now we meet the high school basketball team - welcome to the land of one-dimensional stereotypes.  There's the main jock dude;  I'd describe him further, but I've already described him completely.  Then there's the secondary jock dude - dumb and horny.  There's the shy girl, jock number two's sister, hopelessly in love with the main jock, but he's oblivious.  And the main jock's girlfriend, the cheerleader.  She's a ditz.  Okay.  There's a basketball game, a fight breaks out, nobody appears to really get injured, however several players wind up in the hospital.  The candy striper hospital.  This hospital is run the way all hospitals in B movies should be run - every time the employees get a few minutes of free time, they hop into the nearest empty room for a little nip of schnapps and a quickie.  The strippers stripers have been seducing everybody.  With women, the alien green glob thing does the mouth-to-mouth routine, and they're under the parasite's control.  With guys, well, they either cocoon them in some sort of web, or else the alien babes grow a monster hand and rip the guys' hearts out. 

So dumb jock dude is easily seduced, but a nurse walks in on them, so he's only half possessed.  He can sort of sense what the aliens are planning to do.  He gets a little bit of web material growing from his face.  One of the candy stripers seduces a doctor - oh, year, she's hot.  A little T&A in an all too short scene.  The stripers attempt a breakout from the hospital, but the few non-possessed people stop them.  The stripers kill several of them, but I guess as long as the big glass doors are locked, they're stuck in the hospital.  They give birth to little alien worm-babies down in the basement.  Half the hospital staff is also cocooned down there.  Oddly, even with all this going on, a doctor sits calmly at his desk, doing paperwork.  A nurse comes in, and sure enough, he's the next victim. 

Meanwhile, our kids are running around, and the ditzy cheerleader annoys the hell out of me.  Man, she'd give Paris Hilton a run for her money.  The shy chick is a diabetic, and she takes insulin.  But she left her medication somewhere, and now the whole place is overrun by sexy alien-possessed candy stripers.  What to do?

SPOILERS

Shy chick sets out to find a medicine cabinet to get some insulin, but a candy striped corners her.  Not having any other weapon, she jabs the striper with the insulin syringe.  Luckily, that happens to be the secret weapon that can kill the critters.  So the kids arm themselves with those air gun injector things filled with insulin, and off a huntin' they go.  Jock #2 dies in a spectacular act of idiocy, and finally ditzy cheerleader gets hers.  Shy girl and jock #1 decide they can't kill all the alien possessed babes, so they decide to make the hospital's boiler explode.  A few rags and some paint thinner, and - and, we get TV news coverage of one of those controlled building demolitions they're always showing on the Discovery Channel.  Imagine the luck, somebody just happened to have a camera pointed at the hospital at the exact right time, even though no one knew it was going to explode!  Yadda yadda yadda, our two characters are the only survivors, oh, except for the one victim found later for the obligatory sequel setup.

END SPOILERS

Overall, not too bad.  Not too good.  The overall production values were quite high, the camera work, sound, sets, etc were all very professionally done.  Characters were flat, but not too terribly bad - save for the cheerleader.  And I normally love cheerleaders.  Plot was moderately interesting.  T&A was on the skimpy side, but there was some gore. 


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Underbelly on July 28, 2008, 11:40:08 AM
Very good synopsis! The only thing piece like this could use is a body/breast count!



Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Jack on July 28, 2008, 12:23:17 PM
I definitely saw 4 breasts, with a side view of a fifth.  Can't remember if there was another set in there or not.  Never got anything from the cheerleader - annoyed the hell out of me for 90 minutes and then no boobies.  b***h. 

Bodies - 2 kids (one with a real nasty groin-eaten-out demise), probably a dozen candy stripers, all by this silly funhouse mirror special effect.  Maybe two doctors, say five more miscellaneous victims. 


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: hellbilly on July 28, 2008, 02:01:20 PM
I loved how those candy stripers walked down the hall in slow mo sucking on lollipops. Million dollar shot right there. Other than that I thought this film was a blatant Decoys rip off.
Certainly had its b-sci fi moments, but the bad outweighed the fun so one should watch with caution.


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Patient7 on July 28, 2008, 02:02:05 PM
I saw this a while ago, I hate that cheerleader.  We're going to die!  Wait, my jacket's ripped up?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 28, 2008, 04:06:57 PM
Jack, I think you imagined some breasts (wishful thinking?).  I only remember one.

With a cast of Playboy Playmates this relied almost entirely on its T&A appeal, on which score it definitely didn't deliver.  The rest of it was only mildly interesting, competent and fairly standard.  There was no terrible dialogue, acting, special effects, or insane what-where-they-thinking? plot twists.  Seemed to me like this was a case of a potentially bad movie being a little too good to make it anything more than mediocre.

2/5 slimes (and I think I'm being generous).


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Jack on July 28, 2008, 06:53:05 PM
Oh jeez, now I'm gonna have to watch it again and take an accurate boobie count :)  It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: CheezeFlixz on July 28, 2008, 07:20:17 PM
Search is your friend ...

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,116850.0.html (http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,116850.0.html)



Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Jack on July 29, 2008, 07:13:32 AM
Conducted an official breast census last night. 

12:02 - Brunette candy striper gives us a side shot - one breast.
23:48 - Brunette has a quickie with the doctor - if you only watch one minute of this movie, watch this one  :teddyr: - two breasts.
35:38 - Black candy striper seduces dumb jock dude - two breasts.

I think Rev. Powell summed it up pretty good, it wasn't fun or ridiculous enough to be a so-bad-it's-good movie, but not nearly good enough to actually be good;  it was just mediocre.


Title: Re: Candy Stripers
Post by: Rev. Powell on July 29, 2008, 06:54:40 PM
Conducted an official breast census last night. 

12:02 - Brunette candy striper gives us a side shot - one breast.
23:48 - Brunette has a quickie with the doctor - if you only watch one minute of this movie, watch this one  :teddyr: - two breasts.
35:38 - Black candy striper seduces dumb jock dude - two breasts.

I think Rev. Powell summed it up pretty good, it wasn't fun or ridiculous enough to be a so-bad-it's-good movie, but not nearly good enough to actually be good;  it was just mediocre.


I bow to your breast count, sir.  The only one I remembered was 12:02.  Maybe I blinked (twice) and missed the other 4.  Given the cast, 5 is a bit low.