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Let's take a look at Christian exploitation films, a special little subgenre of exploitation.  These wild, paranoid, over-the-top propaganda films are usually intended to frighten fence-sitting viewers into giving themselves up to a fundamentalist interpretation of an interpretation.  If you routinely watch the Christian channels, you might see some of these weirdo films.  Here's a few examples of these under-appreciated cinematic gems.

If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971) - After B-movie filmmaker Ron Ormond survived a plane crash in 1968, he began making Christian films... and this is the Christian film from Hell.  According to the preaching of Estus Perkle, if Americans don't begin living lives of Christian purity soon, a communist takeover is inevitable... within the next several months(!). Television, alcohol, drugs, sex, and miniskirts are condemned in his wild sermon, brought to life with some extremely gory, awful scenes (people senselessly gunned down, women raped, and children being beheaded and having their ears jammed full of shish-ke-bob skewers). And let's not forget the age-old sin of DANCING... we all know what THAT leads to, don't we, you shameless whores!  The special effects are absolutely atrocious, and the whole film resembles a weird acid trip.  This is, without question, the most relentless assault on the senses you will ever experience. No matter what your personal belief system may be, you will be nauseated, mortified, perplexed, and delighted watching this hopelessly dated cautionary paranoiac vision... a stultifying and richly rewarding viewing experience.  HALLELUJAH!!!  (NOTE: Ron Ormond's other Christian films are just as awful.)

The A Thief in the Night series (1972, 1978, 1980, 1983) - Another dreadful attempt to scare unsuspecting viewers into becoming devout fundamentalists.  Actually, the only people who watch this junk are devout fundamentalists themselves.  This traumatizing film series follows several different people as they struggle to survive during the "Tribulation", such as a non-believing housewife named Patty (who is decapitated by God in the third film).  The third film has the best special effects, but that's not saying much.  These films are pretty disturbing, and not nearly as entertaining as Ron Ormond's dreadful slop.  At the very least, these films will certainly spark some debate.

The Blood of Jesus (1941) - Weird, low-budget, all-Black film about a Baptist woman who is accidentally shot by her atheist husband in the rural south of the United States.  She succumbs to the injuries, whereupon a good angel bids her to journey with him to the Crossroads of Life. Before she can travel far, the Devil lures her with the temptations of juke joints and the city. Can she regain the straight and narrow before it's too late? And what is to become of those she left behind?  An odd little curiosity piece, added to the National Film Registry in 1991.  Unlike so many other films, this actually has some cinematic and historical value.

As always, feel free to add some more "classic" films to the list.

I sometime watch them to see which TV actors from the 80s/90s are starring in them.  It's propably more than you think.

There was one called Unidentified which says that UFO's are demons.  Naturally, it had the archetypes of this genere.  There was the fundamentalist Christian-who is usually one of the only nice people in the movie, and the skeptic who is a often portrayed as a jerk.  As a matter of fact, non-Christians in these movies are usually shown as jerks, bumlbling fools, or having some other sort of social ineptitude. 


I will not watch anything that has "Left Behind" in the title.  I've heard the books take a downward look on Catholics (like myself)



   

I think this may be one of the few poorly explored domains left in the bad movie universe.  

IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU...  I recently heard of this and planned to track it down.  I believe it was deliberately left in the public domain, so as to better save souls, so it should be easy to locate.

You forgot to mention the Christian/gore/anti-drug/turkey monster movie BLOOD FREAK (link to Andrew's review, which unfortunately de-emphasises the Christian element of the film).   That's probably the weirdest, wildest and worst proselytizing movie ever made.

A long time ago I found a clip on youtube of a preacher describing his trip to Hell.  He was so impressed with what he saw there that he decided he had to show the rest of the world what he had seen, so that fear of eternal damnation would make them fall in line and join his sect.  His solution to the problem of demonstarting the reality of Hell to the masses was to make a cheap B-movie tour of hell, complete with rubber demons and ultra-cheap special effects, and to sell the videotapes off his church website.   Unfortunately, I lost the bookmark to that clip.  But I imagine that there's a lot of self-produced stuff like that out there that is truly bizarre but never got seen by anyone but the true believers (who didn't need the message, anyway).

Years ago I tried to watch IMAGE OF THE BEAST before I understood b-movies. It was rough viewing, but I did it even back then. Rented this from a Christian bookstore back in the 80's.

Image Of The Beast (1980)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m-4aAoDZhQ&feature=related

Another more recent film was the poorly acted and bad special effects was LEFT BEHIND. Never bothered to finish this film based on the popular books.

Left Behind (2000)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_VpneVzY_U&feature=related

Thief In The Night (1972)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6xmDRwcjv4

If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taYThk1FX2k

Also found a small clip of THE BLOOD OF JESUS that you mentioned.

The Blood of Jesus (1941)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvT8AB7KEE

Some of these films are worth a look for those unfamiliar with protestant/bible/fundamentalist end time beliefs. The only value in these films for me are the martyrdom aspects, but you can understand the need to be true to the faith by reading your history. Everything from Roman persecution to Communist persecution. The apocalyptic scenarios have been Eschatologically intriguing to me for the past 22 years, but have no added value and contribute nothing to Christian faith.

Some of my favorite books back in the mid-80's were THE LATE GREAT PLANET EARTH and THE RETURN, but have never found them to help much spiritually.

What would be neat is for the people who get distracted by these things to go to the Holy Church. Instead of dividing and creating their own churches since the times of Luther and Calvin. The East/West divide is bad enough without all those others running around. It's ideal to have faith that is unmoved by earthly situations, but naturally we are all weak and have our own things to overcome. Church tradition helps bring us closer to God.

Somewhere in my collection of closeout VHS obscurities, I've got this twisted little gem "In Trouble"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067189/

Hardly a Christian flick, it employs pro-choice propaganda as an excuse for porn, with a young Sybil Danning in a pair of bit parts as it's main draw.

It opens with a story about a young woman going to jail following a botched illegal abortion, followed by a series of comically misogynistic erotic shorts about women seeking illegal abortions, mostly emphasizing on the behavior that resulted in their pregnancy, followed by the exploitation they face in their quest for unscrupulous doctors & folk remedies.

The only time it tries to venture away from both erotica & comedy, is when it tries to deal with the subject of the rape of a minor. Even in this case, the movie still can't take itself seriously, as the situation dissolves into a pool of sap, played out by cartoonishly drawn characters.

The tastelessness of this movie is too much, even for me.

THE GOSPEL ROAD (1973)

Produced by June Carter and Johnny Cash! Johnny is the singing narrator and June plays Mary Magdalene! Kris Kristofferson co-wrote the songs! Big-boned blond Swede Robert Elfstrom directed and played Jesus! His Leif Garrett look-alike son (Robert Elfstrom, Jr. natch) plays juvie Jesus!

It's a little-known fact big sideburns were popular in Nazareth.

I actually saw this at The Beautiful Lake Theater and got a gold star from my bible school teacher!

I didn't get a gold star for going to see SSSSSSS and DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN, though.  :bluesad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XzCu0nOGMI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SkXO8mBiqM&feature=related



IN SEARCH OF NOAH'S ARK (1976)

(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/noahb2k.jpg)

The fine folks at Sunn Classic Pictures do for Noah's Ark what they did for UFOs, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster. They had a blurry picture of something dark and sorta square-shaped sticking out of a rock, so this PROVES CONCLUSIVELY that Noah's Ark is dark and sorta square-shaped and sticks out of a rock.


(http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/morrisawilliams/ararat_anomaly_1949_Frame_2_closeup.jpg)

Alas, the film makers couldn't get closer for a better look because of the Communists! Or was it a conspiracy between the UFOs and Bigfoot?!?

I saw this one at The Beautiful Lake Theater, too.

I've rented some of the Christiano films that Netflix has. 


1. Pamela's Prayer -awesome

2. the First Stone - also pretty awesome


also check out jack t chick's christian scare comics at www.chick.com  they have all of them, my favorite is the one with the band "we're gonna rock rock rock rock!!!"

"Sybil Danning" and "a pair of bit parts" are two phrases I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence.

(http://www.superstrangevideo.com/images/sybildanning3_8353212.jpg)

they;'re playing with fire aweseome cliche / plot hole ridden early 80's tenn boober

You know, this sound a lot like the Schoolgirl Report series (which was also, IIRC, from Germany.)  Basically it's a series of softcore porn films disguising themselves as educational (!) films for parents on dealing with their teens budding sexuality.  They illustrate different scenarios based on various "true" stories narrated by a gynacealogist.  I'm not sure but I think there was like seven, maybe more, in that series. 

I remember one clip was this mother who comes home and hears nosies coming from the kitchen area.  Inside her daughter and a fellow (boyfriend?) were making out.  Narrator was all like, "Now, Norma could burst right in, disrupt what is going on, and begin yelling at her daughter.  But what would that acocmplish?  Let's see what happens when Norma does something different."

So, the girl goes outside, reenters the house, this time making a LOT more noise before, giving the guy time to leave and her daughter a chance to appear normal.  And the narrator this is much better!  Now if Norma's daughter feels later that she wants to discuess the situation with her mother, she will, without feelings of resentment.

And I'm like, "Yeah, sure lots of parents would be that understanding..."
 

Not sure I'd call it Christian per se, but I do remember seeing years back an obscure little gem called The Annunciation years ago.  It's an early 80s film from Hungray that's basically about Adam and Eve in the garden and how they're tricked by the devil into taking a bit of the Apple.  After they fall from grace, Adam demands that Satan keep his part of the bargain and give him and Eve the knowledge he promised.

From there, the two jump forward to several different periods in history, with Adam, Eve, and Satan playing different characters each time.  That oddest part about the film is the ENTIRE cast is composed of preteens, with Satan being this blond haired, churbic looking boy who bares a resembalance to a young Malchaly Caulkin.  (Course, I'm sure that's intentional.)  Anyway, the plot summary makes the film sound WAAY more coherent than it is. 

Despite all this though, it's a strangely interesting film, there's a lot visually interesting scenes, like where we see a field of sand that slows starts to move away as several children rise up from the ground as thought either coming back to life or being awaken after a long slumber.  There's even a few quoteable lines in the film, one I remember off hand is Satan, talking about life/civilization in general says, "See it as a comedy, and you'll find yourself amused." 

I like the premise so much, I've often thought about stealing it and doing my own version of the story.  Except I think in my film I'd have Satan be the only character portrayed by an adult....

I pity the fool ! Judgement http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0257408/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0257408/) (still can't make links look normal)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0257408/

Not that anyone's neccessarily doing that here, just seizing an opportunity to ride one of my hobby horses here, but wherever movies like If Footmen Tire You come up online, it seems like there's some kind of concensus on the internet that the fall of the Berlin wall somehow proved that it was always stupid and evil to believe that the Soviets were a real military threat.

Still can't believe I'm the first to link to one of those Mr. T movies, I'm busting.

Blood Freak is the only one I've seen, Hershel Gordon Lewis tribute and a pro bible/christian movie, wierd stuff

I'm going to try one more time to put up the youtube trailer to that Mr T movie, if this dosen't work I should just accept that I'm cursed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWV6Lgb-EGU

Don't forget about Blood Freak.  Probably the only Christian anti-drug propaganda killer mutant vampire turkey movie in existence.

Interesting....Ron Ormond...as all BAD good BAD movie children know....made MESA of LOST WOMEN, the MONSTER and the STRIPPER,The GIRL from TOBACCO ROAD and PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME! among others. He also made IF FOOTMEN TIRE...

He was also co-editor of FLYINGING SAUCER magazine...along with the famous (or infamous...acccording to your point of view...) Ray Palmer. Also wrote a nutso book called  INTO the STRANGE UNKNOWN,in which he claimed to have photographed the face of God. And other stuff.

I have about seven issues of the FLYING SAUCER pulp from the fifties....he was a equal oppurtunity huckster...even when he was supposdly 'Born again!"

These pics are from my own personal collection of trash and junk...

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/manson1058.jpg)

(http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l79/RCMerchant/manson1060.jpg)

"The Annunciation," I have heard of it, though I have never seen it. It's got my interest, because I believe it is only one of two full-length feature films, which feature no adults in it.

The other one, of course, is "Bugsy Malone" w/ Jody Foster.

I did watch the three "Left behind" movies out of curiosity. The first two are pretty dull, but the third one is absolutely hilarious. It features poisoned bibles, a U.S. President played by Lou Gossett Jr. and an indestructible, Terminator-like Antichrist of Russian ascent as the head of the U.N. Because we all know the U.N. worships the Beast and plans to destroy mankind.

And then there's "Walker Texas Ranger". I still remember that episode with guest star Hulk Hogan as a reformed gang leader explaining how he met Jesus in a solitary confinement cell.

Oh, the pain.

Hadn't heard of Bugsy Malone till you mentioned it. 

As for The Annunciation, it might be a bit difficult to track down.  I don't think it ever got a commercial release in the U.S., I had to get mine from a fellow who specializes in obscure cinema...

BTW, has anybody seen this?

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10010214-fireproof/

Souns absolutely tepid. A film about marriage without sex? Marriage counseling by accepting Jesus as your savior? Does this mean that all Jewish couples are condemned to unhappy marriages? Kirk F*cking Cameron?

The best bit of trivia comes from the IMDB: Looks like Kirk Cameron is so devote that he refuses to kiss any actress but her wife, so they had to dress up his wife as his co-star and then lower the lights so he could have a kiss on-screen for the movie.

I am surprised that there has been no mention of THE OMEGA CODE or MEGIDDO(did i get that right?) OMEGA CODE 2.
I thought the first one was a bit boring but the sequel has it's moments.Plus it stars my favorite actor Franco Nero as well as Michael York and Udo Kier.
As for A Thief In the Night and it's sequels(prequels?),I remember seeing those on the local christian UHF channel KYFC TV50 here in KCMO,back in the late 70's or early 80's.I specifically remember before the 3rd movie came on, the head of KYFC,Ronnie Metzker said something like,"Now,get ready for the most action packed explosive movie you will ever see" :buggedout:

Do we have to wait for time to provide the novelty, really?

The Passion of the Christ was one of the most laughable, masturbatory pieces of schlock of the last 10 years. It's proof enough that a bigger budget wouldn't have improved any of these others.

I haven't seen it, but I think you're being a little bit hard on the film. There ARE people out there who want films that uplift marriage without having a bunch of graphic content in it. It's a small demographic (and we're probably not in it), but I applaud Kendrick for going past the money issue and making Fireproof. My understanding is that, while the acting isn't great, it's believable. 

Also, so what if Cameron wants to take his vows seriously and respect his wife? To most of us it seems silly, but it's something so, in my opinion, trivial and simple that it makes a statement.

But (and again I haven't seen them) I must agree with people on the Left Behind videos. There's nothing in the Bible about a rapture, anyways.

Well, I'm not saying any film about marriage should have tons of sex, but c'on, you cannot deal with what's going within a couple without even mentioning their sex life. I think Kubirck nailed that in Eyes wide shut. I could be wrong, but the premise of the film sounds so naive I'd be surprised they even mention the word "sex" on the whole film. And I'm also reluctant to believe the only solution to all marriage problems is believing in a particular religion.

As for Kirk Cameron, I can't see why kissing another actress onscreen could be considered breaking marriage vows. I think his whole attitude is unprofessional. We're not talking about a explicit, titilating or unnecesary sex scene, or nudity, it's just a kiss. Having him smile to or flirt with other women while on character is more "obscene" than that.