Badmovies.org Forum

I am having it done at noon tomorrow. Just a regular screening I've been putting off for a couple of years.

Everyone I talk to that's had one says it's a snap, you go in they knock you out do their thing and you wake up in recovery none the wiser.

The hard part is what I'm doing today, the clean out.  There are three different ways to choose from, two involving drinking a lot of foul tasting liquid and one involving pills.

I chose the pills which have a drawback,  you must have nothing to eat for 24 hours and can only have clear liquids. 

I got up this morning and had lemon jello and black coffee for breakfast (both allowed on the clear liquid diet), then I had to take 4 of these horse pills (with a full glass of water)every 15 minutes for an hour (they went to work very quickly).  Then I have to intake at least 8 oz of clear liquid every hour until 6:00 PM when I have to take 4 pills every 15 minutes for half an hour.

Right now my ass feels like it's been through a grinder, my stomach is groaning  and I still have about 20 more hours before I have to be at the  clinic and probably two more after that before I get to eat anything.

Say a prayer for me guys.   

Good luck having a camera shoved up you rear.  :tongueout:

You do of course realize that we are hoping the best for you...

...so that, when it's over, we can make fun of you in the end? :tongueout:


The colonoscopy doesn't sound as harrowing as the preparation for it.

Hopefully everything is okay with you. I always say that we'd all live to a hundred if it weren't for doctors claiming stuff is wrong with us...

...then treating us for it.

In all seriousness my dad had a colonoscopy not too long ago and for him the preparation was worse than the event so don't worry.  I can't really see what can go wrong except that the camera might break off.  :buggedout:  Good Luck.

Cap'n, I admire you for being so frank about this important medical procedure and not worrying about becoming the butt of jokes.

Happy prepping and have a successfull surgery  :thumbup:

I hope that they find out "the coast is clear." 

A funny thing about hunger is that the pains go away after a while.  After that it's either a vague feeling of wanting to eat, or else a strange high that probably comes from your body consuming itself to keep you running.

Post photos if you get 'em  :bouncegiggle:

Awesome idea if I may say so.   :bouncegiggle:

My stepdad had a colonoscopy not too long ago and they did give him a picture.  Several pictures, in fact.
When he got home he handed me a manila envelope and said, "Open it."
I pulled out a large sheet that had several color pics of the inside of his colon.

GROSS!!!   :buggedout:

Kinda gives new meaning to "Going where no man has gone before..."

At least as far as we know.  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:

Seriously, though, good luck.

If the prep isn't adequate there will be Klingons in the colon. 

Q. How is a piece of toilet paper like the starship Enterprise?

A. They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.

A good test to have done.

Golytely tastes like brine -- it's awful, yes.  When I was a med student doing my first ICU rotation, a nurse asked me if I'd ever tasted it.   I had to take her up on that.  It tastes basically like what you get if you scoop some brine out of the sea from a dock. 

Happy osmotic catharsis.  =)

Hey Geeze,

Did you know that I added image hosting to my site?

I wanted to take a moment to test it out to see that it works okay...






(http://5g8.net/uploader/12266362562808_tip_steak.jpg)


Looks good so far...


(http://5g8.net/uploader/12266364456192_potato-wedges.jpg)


Just a few more to go...


(http://5g8.net/uploader/12266365159322_bacon-eggs.jpg)


Working like a charm...


(http://5g8.net/uploader/12266365726263_club-sandwich.jpg)


Boy...this image hosting script has quite an appetite...


(http://5g8.net/uploader/12266366936743_ice-cream-treats.jpg)


Well...that ought to finish it up. Thank you for your assistance.


(http://5g8.net/smileys/lol-065.gif) (http://5g8.net)

Good luck, Cap'n. My mom had Crohn's Disease and had to go through these quite often. She always said the prep was much worse than the actual event.

On a related note, I encourage everyone here to take a serious look at purchasing a Colon Cleansing Kit to rid yourself of that pesky mucoid plaque.

Don't forget to post photos of the results on this site!  :thumbup:

http://www.mucoidplaque.co.uk/mucoid_plaque_photos.htm (http://www.mucoidplaque.co.uk/mucoid_plaque_photos.htm)

Good luck!

Don't be an a$$hole

Sorry, Not trying to be one.  I really meant everybody took the obvious good natured ones!

Kindly ignore Junior...it's his time of month. :lookingup:




There are still some good ones left...even that you can fit with your user name.


For example: After everything's done...drop a few bombs for us. :teddyr:

Sorry Junior; I can't believe I missed that one. (red-faced)

Good one :thumbup:


No, FlaK; it's a joke. Just think of the topic. :teddyr:

Space.....the final frontier......... going where cameras have not gone before :wink:

Hope all will be well, Cap'n Trek: all good wishes to you.

Dr Menard's pictures are making my tummy rumble.  :smile:

Heh, I didn't really pick up on that one! Thats pretty clever! :thumbup:
Thanks you for the support anyways. :cheers:

.

Sorry Menard I think he's already emptied his payload by now! :smile:

Best of luck Cap, hope all goes well for you  :smile:

Good luck Trek, hope everything comes out okay  :teddyr:

Best wishes.

In the summer of 2007 I suffered a medical emergency and actually had to have a colostomy bag for a few months, though they were able to reverse it. In either case, between those two operations and my long stays in the hospital, I had to go for a number of tests, including a few colonoscopies, and I know exactly how much a b***h that day of prep is. Plus, I'm a fat kid. A whole day of broth and little else isn't easy. At least you don't have to get a barium enema done.


I don't know if anyone here has ever had to drink barium for a medical test, but if you have... just imagine having your arse-end pumped full of oodles and oodles of the stuff. THAT sucks!

I hope everything comes out fine Cap'n, , because if it doesn't, , you'll be walking pretty funny with that camera up there, , , (get it? "comes out fine", , lol, , )

Those pictures are highly disgusting.  The guy who chose to photograph his "results" in a collander is the most disturbing. If Cap'n had only looked at those photos, I'm sure his appetite would have left him alone. 

It's interesting most chose to use chopsticks, but I suppose those are the logical utensils to use to pick globs of disgusting rubbery poo out of your toilet.

Kudos to "Linda from the USA" for scooping up and displaying her results bare-handed.  :cheers:

Yeah. I'm sure she'll appreciate your kudos... for the rest of her very, very long and very, very, very, very lonely life. Lol.

::gag::

Since we're on the subject of "mucoid plaque" (which, admittedly, is not a subject anyone anywhere should be on anytime EVER)... I hope anyone who isn't already aware realizes that "mucoid plaque" is completely NOT accepted by the medical community, and is considered by certified medical professionals to be a hoax, perpetuated by wily con men whose "detoxification" products are actually what causes the "evidence" (i.e. the "mucoid plaque") to exist in the first place.

I don't mean to go off on a tangent, but I loathe these infomercial con artists and their hokey products supported by elaborate B.S. myths. Loathe 'em with a passion. If anyone here is a believer in this stuff, I mean no insult. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

I was going to suggest sticking maggots up one's ass to eat away anything that is not tied down.

I was then going to post a picture of some maggots; I thusly went on an image search.

I highly recommend not going on an image search for maggots.

Oh christ! My eyes! Why didn't I listen?!? WHY?!?

That was my first thought too.

This is your brain, , ,This is your brain on drugs, , ,This is your brain on drugs with three strips of bacon, three sausage links, two slices of toast and your chouce of coffee, tea, or orange juice, on special this week for $4.99, or $4.19 for those that qualify for senior or military discount.

Mmmm. Braaaaaaaaaaaains.

Hmmmm... maybe that's how zombie-ism really starts out.

I'm really glad someone caught that.  :teddyr:, In fact I don't see how it was misconstrued because Flak didn't really say anything in that post that would make me think anything of him in the sense of a$$holeism.

Rejoice, humans, a simple blood test is reportedly five years away from replacing the colonoscopy altogether.  :thumbup:

I doubt it. There's too much you can't see without looking.

Sushi gives you BRAIN MAGGOTS!

Who'd a thought?  :twirl:

Imagine being a zombie and catching a nice fresh person only to find they got the BRAIN MAGGOTS?
How annoying!

No, seriously, dude, and it's a good thing. I was reading about this blood test in a medical journal while I was doing some research on pandemics last summer. This test, which exists now and will soon almost certainly become standard, could potentially eliminate the need for nearly all "routine" colonoscopy procedures, and because more people would submit to a blood test over something more invasive, it would probably save a lot of lives. After all, not everyone is as brave as the person who started this thread.

Here's some light reading on it, if you're interested:

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/969572/blood_test_may_replace_colonoscopy/index.html

http://www.redorbit.com/news/science/793/blood_test_may_measure_colon_cancer_risk/

http://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=news/health&id=5681130

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/03/14/health/main544008.shtml

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WFX-4M69264-14&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=db68fb34aa5f47216020ecbf1ac43019

Good luck C'ptn! I hope all goes well!  :thumbup:

Dude, she's holding it up like its an award winning bass she caught.  Seriously, those pics are f'n disgusting and if they do exist, I think I'll leave them where they are for the time being.  I doubt the trauma of passing them would be worth it.

Good luck.  I've heard colonoscopies can be a real pain in the ass.  It is a s**tty process, but hopefully you'll have good results in the end.  How long does it take them to analize the test?

Hey Geeze


(http://5g8.net/uploader/12267248567771_ecosodomy.gif)


Remind you of anything?

 :tongueout:


(I'll get a response out of you, yet) :teddyr:

That's an old joke not told correctly.  I do hope you'll forgive me for pointing that out.  Cut yer words, always. 

I had this whole speech prepared for you Cap'n, but it got lost quoting these humorous lads.  I do hope you're okay.  Best to you. 
:bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle: 
:bouncegiggle:   :bouncegiggle: Where's that virtual karma monument??

You're all sick.  In any case, hopefully the Cap'n is well.   :smile:

Uh, NO, ,, that's exactly how it was told on Beavis and Butthead.

The way I'd heard it was 'they both pass Uranus and have klingons'.

As with any joke, there are probably dozens of variations, but they still come out the same, in the end. :bouncegiggle:

I survived the ordeal !     Thursday I spent most of the day on the john, with my ass feeling like a blow torch had been used on it.  That was the worst part  of the whole thing (well, that and having nothing to eat for almost two days except jello, popsicles and a couple of Mt. Dews).


You can a imagine how surprised I was when I woke up near the end of the procedure, just in time to watch the screen as  the doctor excised  a large polyp from my colon.

He put it in a jar and let me look at it.  He didn't seem really worried about it being cancerous (it was nice pink color like the surrounding tissue), but  he did say it was good that I came in when I did.  They will call me Tuesday when the pathology comes back on it.

Since I have an older brother who is a colon cancer survivor the Doc recommended I have another test in three years (it's normally ten years if you have no family history and no polyps).


The fun part was getting to fart out all that air pump in you.   


In all seriousness, this is a fairly benign test to have with the worst part being the prep.  Colon cancer is the number three killer cancer and mostly because folks don't get checked.  Hopefully those blood test ER posted about may remedy that, but not for a few years down the road.

When you turn 50 if at all possible get screened.  In fact already being a metastatic thryroid cancer survivor, I always tell folks if you got strange lumps anywhere get them checked out.

Did you get to take it home?  What sort of care and feeding do you have to give it?  Any chance of it mutating and trying to take over the world?

The new Sci-fi channel movie:

It Came from Cap'n Trek's Ass.

Whoa...

...this is the 50th reply in this thread.

This calls for a celebration.


Bottoms up  :cheers:

At least they biopsied the polyp and hopefully all is well and it will work out in the end. I haven't really checked but I'd be shocked if that awful pun hasn't been used. 

We're just a board of puns lately aren't we?  :bouncegiggle: 

Hey...watch the cracks. :bouncegiggle:

Hooray!  :cheers: