Badmovies.org Forum

Several years ago I bought a game for the PC called "Daikatana" It was a first person shooter where you have some NPCs that 'helped' you (IOW, got in the way and killed all the time), while helping support their own stereotypes (a Shaft-esque Black dude, and Asian woman IIRC). This game was HORRIBLE. When you opened the box the game came it, there was a CD, a manual, and a slip of paper saying that the game wouldn't work until you downloaded and installed a near 90-meg patch. This was in the days when broadband wasn't available everywhere, so some of us were stuck downloading it by dial-up. The installation of the patch took a few hours, and the game turned out to be crap anyways.

There was another that I had for the Atari 2600, that was completely useless. It had some kind of dungeons and dragons kind of title, and was completely unintelligible. I just remember weird symbols, and going from one room to another and back, which made the symbols change. It was weird, does this game sound familiar to anyone?

Anyways, what's the worst you've played?

Rise Of The Robots

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cNCfKd7Tb5s

Awful controls, awful graphics, bland, boring game characters. I think each robot had about 2 moves and when I once played this with my cousin, the 2nd player couldn't even move, regardless of how many controllers we tried. The levels are also really boring and repetitive and the game is too easy.

I bought a game called 1602 AD, where you had to start a colony and trade with the natives and build an empire . . . and I went bankrupt, every stinking time!!  I couldn't win a battle at sea and couldn't sustain enough revenue to keep my colonies afloat.  I HATED that game!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2o3mlg5AxQ
My brother NEEDED this game when it first came out.  My mother went out and dropped 50 bucks on it.  Keep in mind, this was in the 80s when 50 bucks for a game was unheard of.  I recall playing it and realizing it sucked at a young age. 

I remember the Atari ET game.  I didn't have it, but someone else did - and I wish I could remember who.  Probably the one boy in class who seemed to have every Atari game ever made.  Anyway, the description that "you fall in a hole, try to get out for hours" was dead on for ET.

Most games based on movies suck.  Heres another one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-59JXtgIUo


This dude does a real funny review of the game...

WARNING WARNING WARNING!  NSFW NSFW NSFW!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eojsc5R4nQ4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6fcvQsYeCI

Of the top of my head I'd say Mission:Impossible for the N64.  Bad graphics, and absoultely lousy control-which made the game about x10 harder than it needed to be.  I actually felt bad that my parents had spent money on it buying it for me.

The recent Godzilla: Unleashed was also a big disappointment.  The flaws in the previous game weren't fixed, and in some cases seemed to be magnified. 

Kileak the DNA Imperative.  I think it was one of the launch titles for the PS1.  It actually didn't start off too bad, but once you got to the higher levels it became utterly monotonous.  You got a VERY limited supply of ammo, which absolutely had to be saved for the tougher opponents, so you had to use your rechargeable energy weapons most of the time.  There'd be one recharge station on a level, so you'd go there, then walk 150 yards down a hallway, fire a bunch of rounds down the hallway (like the guy in the video is doing) to knock out any enemies that might await you.  Look at all the marvelous variety in the hallways in the video.  Then it was 150 yards back to the recharge station, 150 yards back to where you started, then proceed down the hallway.  Kill one enemy, back to the recharge station.  And it didn't save unless you finished the levels, and they got really difficult, so you could be repeating this whole procedure numerous times.  And it probably took a half hour to finish a level if you didn't get killed, so we're talking many, MANY hours of walking back and forth to the recharge station.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utip7M8EVv8#

I remember a game for the Commodore 64 where you navigated some maze/dungeon. There wasn't much to it, it was kind of a text adventure with very limited graphics. It seemed like it was made by someone with no imagination, because the enemies were often just random crap, like the guys looked around their office for things to put into the game. "You were attacked by a pane of glass", "you were attacked by a giant dust ball", "you were attacked by a ream of paper". In all fairness, about 90% of the games people had for the commodore were illegal copies in the first place, so I'm not sure how the guy sitting in the office looking for things to put into the game was supposed to get too motivated anyways.

Spy Games: Elevator Mission

Sadly, since it's inception the Wii has become the major target for "shovelware": the cheapest, crappiest games rushed into production and shoveled onto store shelves like so much boxed sh!t under the pretense that out of the millions of Wii owners in the world, there will be at least enough stupid ones to shill out $20 or less for cheap garbage to keep their kids busy that these companies will have no trouble making a profit. I avoid shovelware like they all carried some form of video game transmitted brain cancer that would cause my gray matter to turn to black sludge and leak from my ears, but when I signed up for a trial month of GameFly I slipped this FPS onto my queue and had it back in the mail within an hour of it being delivered to my home. In this case, FPS stands for First Person Sh!tter. It's the type of gamer Hell that cannot be described in words, only in the number of bamboo chutes I'd rather have rammed under my toenails than have to play it again.  :hatred:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTR7jBJAqNw

South Park PS1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QavvHr8DJo4
This game really sucked.  First off the weapons were hard to find.  The map was a clusterf*ck and the graphics were almost Atari 2600 in nature. 

For PC, there are many, many horrible games. One I have recently played through is Scratches, a point and click horror game. It does a good job of setting the atmosphere and of building a sense of mild dread throughout. It is set in a Victorian mansion, where a horror novelist has come to hopefully finish writing his latest novel. He is isolated, and he begins to hear strange scratching noises. The story builds to a nice head, but the ending is so mindbogglingly anticlimactic and nonsensical that it ruins everything it had worked to set up. The Director's Cut version has a follow-up game that is supposed to help explain the first, but it just kept crashing, so I was unable to finish it. I recently found the ending on You Tube, and it made as little sense as the first. It aggravated me horribly to play through a game with the ending I was given.

On Wii, I would nominate Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. It's short, extremely linear, repetitive, and only mildly amusing at times. I beat it in a couple of days; played through it a couple more times as alternate characters, experienced the alternate endings (both are depressing--you either end up dead or enslaved--yay me!). It was almost fun for all of five minutes to play as Admiral Akbar, but even that got old fast. It looks much better on Xbox or Playstation, but if the gameplay is the same, it is still one of the least fun games I have ever played.

I remember when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game came out.  I dropped quarters into it like it was going out of style.
When it finally came out for the NES, I was thrilled.  That is until I played the game.

The Irate Gamer discusses Ninja Turtles (NSFW!!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqB1e7MlWN8

Dude this game sucked.  I don't think I ever made it past the second level. 

"Tom and Jerry" for the SNES was a complete letdown, , but, , when my kid was about 5 he started playing it and loved it, in minutes he got further than I ever had.

Win Lose Or Draw NES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzIHkw0f2Cc
I remember getting this for Xmas one year.  It was something my mother picked up on the five dollar rack.  Try listening to the soundtrack without giggling. That and the girls say what seems to be, "hairy" when they get the answer right.  I still have the piece of sh!t somewhere. 
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmhdaOiI2zs

Supposedly a game in its alpha stages that was then unleashed on an unsuspecting public.

Also, Superman 64.  It really is as terrible as they say. NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjUz8IT0CYg

And yeah, I like the AVGN better than the Irate dude.

I actually like the NES TMNT though.  I beat it with a friend, believe it or not.



Edit: Oops, sorry about the lack of a NSFW tag on there earlier.  Thanks DarkSider.

no prob...speaking of Irate Gamer and AVGN, I notice there is quite an intense dispute on youtube of who is ripping off who.  I have to admit I came across AVGN first.  Who knows, I find them both entertaining. 

 :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: Virtual karma, Andrew!

That reminds me of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coin op arcade game where the Foot warriors jump up from the sewers and throw manhole covers at the turtles. If your turtle fell in the hole, there was a brief silence, then a pair of eyes in the darkness and then a very dazed voice said: "Duhhhhhh...who put the lights out?" :teddyr:

I don't know that it had that bad a concept , but adventure (http://www.simmphonic.com/programming/adventure.htm) couldn't have had worse graphics

Never played it, but heard about it, though. And this was years ago. But the game consisted of your character--Custer--and an Indian maiden tied to a stake, and you as Custer got to see how many times you could rape this Indian maiden, before you were killed by other Indians shooting arrows at you.

Of course, with a game concept like this, you can imagine how bad the graphics were. Some of the worst I've ever seen in a game.

Of course, the game didn't last long, as everybody, including Native Americans, venomously protested it, and it was quickly withdrawn from the video gaming market.

SWORD OF SODAN (Sega Genesis)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBRGILP7bws

LORD OF THE SWORD   (Sega Master System)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDucvW316yQ

CONAN  (NES)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbztuOiBCBg

Adventure had pretty lame graphics, but was a great game at the time. Gotta remember it was competing with Space Invaders, which was monumentally huge, proving graphics didn't have to be that great if the game in interesting. Adventure was one of the games that I played A LOT.

Custer's revenge, it was one of the first adult-oriented games, and it was completely tasteless.

Funny how adult-themed video games have never really made it in the US, however, in Japan, many games have an adult theme or at least nudity. Many of their tile games show a woman undressing as the game goes along or uncover a nude picture as tiles are removed. There was the 'Leisure Suit Larry' games several years back, which were a lot of fun, pretty funny, and challenging, but kinda died out with no replacement in sight.

The Angry Video Game Nerd, or some imitator of his, did a show about early underground adult video games, complete with clips of the Custer game.  Try a search for it if you're really curious. You can probably imagine what naked people look like when rendered in blocks on an Atari 2600 console--anything but erotic.  The gameplay was uniformly boring, too. 

I recall playing strip poker on my Commadore 64.  The game was fun but unfortunately only had two girls to play with.  Another Atari 2600 game to check out for adult games is Beat Em And Eat Em.  Good lord....

I played "Adventure" for hours and hours, and I hated that damn bat.  I remember getting swallowed by a dragon as I killed it with the sword (yes, an arrow sign) and then the bat picked up the dead dragon, with me inside, and flew around.  I took to grabbing the bat and locking it inside a castle once I figured out how to get rid of the little creep.

Hated that bat.

GHOSTBUSTERS  (Sega Master System)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7AtnbGxmFA

ghouck-  those creatures in Adventure are kind of horrifying however basic they are designed

I hated it when the bat would pick up the magnet and drag important stuff like keys or the bridge somewhere you can't get it, then drop the magnet somewhere you can't get it. Did you ever find the magic dot?

They actually came out with a sequel to Adventure called cleverly enough Adventure 2(!) on the Atrai 5200. that was made by a company called Atari Age in 2007.  A friend of mine has it on his PC.

Crap-in-a-hat! I remember this steaming pile o' pixels. I had this for GameGear. I remember thinking it was gonna be so effin' cool... until I actually played it. What a disappointment.

Somehow I forgot all about the magnet.  Yeah, when that happened you had to wait for the bat to come along and pick them up again.  Did I mention how much I hated that bat?

Never found the magic dot on my own.  I think that I did it after reading about the easter egg on a newsgroup.

I used to kill time playing this for Commadore 64.  For some reason I thought it was cool. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WWw_4yFe2k
Looking back, maybe I was wrong.   :question:

Tag-Team Wrestling? No, you were right, it was cool. Maybe not Space Taxi cool, but it was way up there.


I found it on accident, but didn't know what to do with it. A friend told me what it was for and exactly where to find it.

That is said to be the first easter egg in any video game.

alright...I was on the fence there about it for a minute but you've changed my mind.  Space Taxi, man that brings back memories.  That game talked too, "Pad 1 please".  I also used to love playing Taskmaster on C64.  Beat it a few times although the last stage usually killed me with the flying creatures.

This is one of the worst 3d platform games that I've ever played.

Bubsy 3D   (PS1)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viCUneosjw4

I just downloaded a ton of SNES roms the other day, and browsing them I found a terrible terrible game...

Family Feud!

As if the TV show wasn't bad enough, but a video game based on it?  :buggedout:

I think what made it worse was that it has dated so horribly...  As if all the questions were from the 50s.

"What did kids at school call the smart kids?"

Some answers: 'Brains'  'Nerd' 'Know it all' and so on...   :hatred:  And to think I actually gave it a shot for interests sake!

My brother and I rented (er, I guess our mom did, technically) Wayne Gretzky Hockey for the NES  and I think it's the only rental we ever returned because we hated it so much.  It's just so boring!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQbq5qgkJ7c

Time Killers was a crappy arcade game I remember playing a few times.  It was attractive because of the decapitation and hacking off of limbs, but once the novelty wore off it's just a bad game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbbKeh40LvY&feature=related

I didn't think the Time Killers was that horrible.  While it wasn't the best game around it was still fun to play.

Time Killers was awful!
Kind of like a poor man's Street Fighter but even worse.

There was another game that was similar to Time Killers and it had a bunch of weird characters.  One character wore a detective coat and hat and he had a grappling hook weapon.  The graphics were very similar to to Time Killers.
Anyone remember what game that is?

Ash please don't tell me you are referring to Eternal Champions.  I'd be heartbroken since its one of my all time favs.  The guy your describing sounds like Larcern in the game. 

That's it!

You actually liked that game?
When it comes to fighting games, I've always required high standards and Eternal Champions, in my opinion, is severely lacking.

Sigh...every fighter in that game had a different style of fighting and the graphics were highly advanced for the Sega.  The characters were awesome and the plot was B-movie-licious.  But, to each his own.  I maintain its a cool game.   :twirl: 

Goddamn ppl.....Shaq-Fu!  :bouncegiggle:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=m3uMLOPzo6w

(http://images.pcworld.com/reviews/graphics/127579-ShaqFu_b.jpg)


Genius. Pure genius.

The Sega CD version of Eternal Champions had a lot more characters and was a better game. I thought it was fun to play.

Oh no!  I never actually played it, but I have an old issue of Gamepro lying around where they gave that game a 5 for "Fun Factor"... :question: