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Kinda like (well, exactly like ) song of the day...but with quotes.




"If it bleeds we can kill it."......Dutch, Predator.

"Set phasers tae malky" -- Taysiders in Space

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLxLmFhROqY

"Now for rack...now for ruin...and a red dawn!"
-LOTR: The Two Towers

"To crush your enemies...see them driven before you...and to hear the lamentation of the women."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V30tyaXv6EI#

"I don't want no white man lookin' at my Tampax!"

Grizelda (Jean Hill)
DESPERATE LIVING

"At first they called it CINCI but since CINCI is so NATI
They named it Cincinnati so they say..."
Babes In Toyland

It's been a while since I've seen it, but I think it goes....  :wink:

"Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes".....Bend it like Beckham.

"We're number one, everyone else is either number two or lower..."
The Sphinx - Mystery Men

"A little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire so I suppressed the urge to laugh in her face, but now, by gum, I think she may have been on to something!" - FDR in Reefer Madness : The Musical

"I just don't get off on funerals, man, they give me the creeps."

-Phantasm

"What you are about to see may not even be possible within the narrow limits of human understanding."

- Narrator

From Monster A Go-Go (1965)

"Watch out for snakes!"  -disembodied voice, EEGAH!

"Man, this guy is so burned, he's cooked! A f****ng Big Mac, overdone! You know what I mean?"

-The Burning

"Do I look like a guy with a plan?"

- Joker

The Dark Knight

"I'll throw on something skimpy and head down to the dungeon." .....Elvira, Elvira's Haunted Hills.

"You're weird ya know?" - Jessie - Hard Rock Zombies

"God bless your hands..."
I Spit On Your Grave
Right before the guy's unit gets sliced off...

"Wanna date ? Goin' out ?  Lookin' for some action ?"...Frankenhooker.

"Well hello mister fancypants, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now, Jack and #%*@, and Jack just left town!.............Ash

Mick: Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks' voices, and that music...
Anton: Music?
Pnub: Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks' voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".
Anton: So what happened?
Mick: We figured, f**k it, I mean, it was really far!

       - Idle Hands

"Don't feel right, firing an air-to-ground missile at a woman."....Attack of the 50ft. Woman

"I know! Look at me! I'm hideous! Do you think I wanna be this way? A freak? That's why we are here! To take back our lives! Somewhere in this ship, is the key to changing us back! Let's find it together! we can take the Guyver out of you! We can make normal again! Isn't that what you want?"

-Guyver: Dark Hero

Thirty seconds, no more Dick! Thirty seconds, no more Dick!

- Itchy

From Dick Tracy (1990)

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
    --Nada (Roddy Piper), They Live

Crow T. Robot: "What is it about the gates of hell that compels people to wander into them?"

Joel: "It's because of Smucker's Raspberry Preserves."

Crow T. Robot: "Hey, what's he gonna do? Borrow a cup of sugar from Satan?"

Joel: "No, he's gonna borrow a cup of Smucker's Raspberry Jam; it's almost like real fruit."

-from MST3K episode -S03E03 "Pod People"

“Its alright everything is going to be fine.  We’re going to be safe. I know where to go.  I’m not sure if I can explain it, its only a feeling I had.  I felt a communication.  A series of images, after which I knew what was happening to us and I knew our fear was unnecessary.  I don’t think it knew what deception was, it goes beyond those things, millions of years beyond.  And yet there is a feeling there or warmth.  These are life forms evolved past anything our imaginations are capable of proceeding now.”

The Day Time Ended (in an attempt to explain two hours of bad special effects and plot holes wider than the Grand Canyon)

"Oh my god, he's got an afro!"

Terror Firmer- Seconds after a bald stuntman gets killed by way of a falling light, and he now sports a giant afro in his newly deceased state, we hear this yelled.  Classic that always makes me laugh for some stupid reason.

"Brother, life's a b***h... and she's back in heat."
-They Live

My second favorite quote from They Live, Derf posted the best one.

"Where you gonna go ? Where you gonna run ? Where you gonna hide ? Nowhere, cos there's no-one like you left."
Body Snatchers

"We've got a date with destiny...and it looks like she ordered the lobster!"
The Shoveller - Mystery Men

"Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up...see this?...this...is my BOOM STICK!!!"

-Ash (Army of Darkness)

What I love about that quote, is the fact that it makes no sense whatsoever !

"Keep watching the skies, everywhere!  Keep looking!  Keep watching the skies!"

- Scotty

From The Thing From Another World (1951)

"Look, you wanna charge me, you charge me, okay? You wanna jerk off, you go back to your office."

-Black Rain (1989)

"Rip...Rip...Rip and Destroy..."
KISS - Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park

ooh!  ooh!  How about this one?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
           -*generic slasher flick title goes here*

"Did they look like psychos, is that what they looked like?  They were VAMPIRES!  Psychos do not EXPLODE when sunlight hits them; I don't give a f**k how crazy they are!"
    -Seth Gecko, From Dusk to Dawn

Garbage day!
Silent night, deadly night 2, Ricky

Woman hears a noise outside, goes to investigate...
"I know it s you [insert generic boyfriend name]...ARRGGHHHHHH"

Her heads on a stick 5 minutes later. :teddyr:

"Don't call me babe"...Barb Wire.

"God help you if you're wrong."

"If I'm wrong, then we're at war.  God help us all."

     -Gene Hackman and Denziel Washington, Crimson Tide

"Haha that's funny I didn't know ath-e-letes had three syllables... thats ama-za-zaing."

- Richie

From The Benchwarmers (2006)

Professor Bernard Quatermass: The will to survive is an odd phenomenon. Roney, if we found out our own world was doomed, say by climatic changes, what would we do about it?
Dr. Mathew Roney: Nothing, just go on squabbling like usual.
Professor Bernard Quatermass: Yes, but if we weren't men?

From QUATERMASS AND THE PIT (1967)

"I'm not bad I'm just drawn that way"...? :teddyr:

"Well, that was nice. You're not so bad after all. You just dress bad." - Left Hand - Vampire Hunter D : Bloodlust

"Are you kidding? Your guy's got a camera. Mine's got a flamethrower."

-C.H.U.D.

A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN (1945) ends with sister and brother, Francie (PEGGY ANN GARNER, 13) and Neely (TED DONALDSON, 12) on the roof of their tenement, my favorite last line from any film:
Francie: "Neely..., do you think I'm pretty?"
Neely (glances back, begrudgingly): "You'll pass." 
Francie: "Neely you're sweet!" 
Neely: "Aw... cut the mush."

This is a 2 minute clip, but alas, not of that scene (but one of the very best):   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n660xoYQc0Q&feature=related 

"You are one ugly mutha f*cka..."
Ah-Nold to The Predator

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."
    -Fight Club

"They call me Mister Tibbs!"

- Virgil Tibbs

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

"I hate. I hate. I hate Peter Pan!"....Hook.

"It ate him... bit off his head... like a gingerbread man!"

-From Beyond

"Eve, Eve!  Little Miss Evil..."

BETTE DAVIS - ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)

"b***hes leave." - Clarence Boddicker

"They blew up Congress!  Ha ha ha ha!"

- Grandma Norris

From Mars Attacks! (1996)

Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?

Dalton: Is she?


-Roadhouse

"You've got me?! Who's got you ?!".....Lois Lane, Superman

"Have fun storming the castle!" - Miracle Max

"Quick, change the channel!"
Zangief - Street Fighter (while watching a live feed of a truck bomb heading to his current location)

"Rememer the good old days when guns actually killed things"........Detective Bigelow while shooting a zombie.

"Hey, Mark... don't f**k with me."

- Henry

From The Good Son (1993)

                                                  Detective Al Garcia........Striptease
                                          (Looking at a mutilated corpse)
                         

                   "Doesn't strike me as the sort of thing a yogurt company would ordinarily do"

"Have you ever been so bored that it actually made you sick? I mean sick!"

-The Killing Kind (1973)

       


                "Two lives left, I think I'll save one for next Christmas".....Catwoman, Batman Returns

"How about a nice greasy pork sandwich, served in a dirty ashtray?" - Chet, Weird Science

"Tell the TV to stop saying there's 2 homosexuals in here."

-Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Death to Videodrome! Long live The New flesh!
Videodrome, Max Renn

"Can you dig it!!"

From The Warriors

" You Miserable Motherf***er I Oughtta Jump Over This Counter And Bash Your F***in' Ba**s In!" ----Captain Spaulding

"And today the president closed the nation's last remaining submarine base at Groton, Connecticut. When asked why he had made the startling decision the president responded, "Those funny little black ships just keep sinking anyway." - Attack Of The Killer Tomatos

         


              "I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it, but now the dream is over and the insect is awake."....????

"Attention human employees. You are all fired. That is all."

          - Cats and Dogs

"They're here!"

From Poltergeist

"Don't hit me with them negative waves this early in the morning. Think that bridge will be there and it'll be there. It's a mother beautiful bridge, and it's gonna be there."
- Oddball, Kelly's Heroes

"Purple. I love purple."....Vikki Vale, Batman

"Now take your pig-stick and your boyfriend, and find a bus to catch."

-Hard Target (1993)

Apollonia: Will you help me?
The Kid: No.
Apollonia: Pardon me?
The Kid: Nope... Wanna know why?
Apollonia: Nope.
The Kid: Because you wouldn't pass the initiation.
Apollonia: What initiation?
The Kid: Well, for starters, you have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: You have to purify yourself in Lake Minnetonka.
[She strips down, and runs towards the lake]
The Kid: Hey! Wait a minute! That's...
[She jumps in. She gets out shivering]
The Kid: Uh, hold it...
Apollonia: What?
The Kid: That ain't Lake Minnetonka.

Purple Rain

 :hot: I will be back !!! Arnold in Commando.

"They're Not Hookers They're Massage Therapists"
-GRANDMA'S BOY

"Rain or shine all is mine".....The Avengers

"Roads ? Where we're going we don't need roads"

Frank Harris: "You screwed us all... for a piece of ass?"

From Cool World (1992)

"[Covered in the blood of Tarzan] Enough! We're human beings! HUUUMAAAAN BEEEEIIIINGS"
Ricky - Story Of Ricky

David Frost: Are you really saying the President can do something illegal?
Richard Nixon: I'm saying when the president does it, that means it's not illegal!

From Frost/Nixon (2008)

*BONK*

-Phantasm (1979)

"I'm Batman."....?

"Shut your fat @$$ Ravie, I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you've F@#$ed"

Rocco, Boondock Saints.

"Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong."

- Transformers: The Movie

"Ni."
 - The Knights Who Say "Ni."

"I will not wear booties."

-Rainbow Brite & The Star Stealer (1985)

"I look like a crime scene dad." - Amber Sweet - Repo! The Genetic Opera

Miguel: Hey, Tulio, look on the positive side: at least things can't get...
[a thunder clap. It starts pouring rain]
Tulio: Excuse me, were you about to say "worse"?
Miguel: No.
Tulio: No? You're sure?
Miguel: Definitely not, I'm going to revise that whole thing.

From The Road to El Dorado (2000)

FISHMAN:"we'd better start looking for pine cones"
SPIDER:"pine cones?"
FISHMAN:"the manual says when your campsite is surrounded by green woods always use pine cones to start your fire"
SPIDER:"if the manual told you to stick your weiner in a light socket would you do it?"


----From the movie BUSHWHACKED

"If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. If you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth."

-Jacob's Ladder (1990)

"There is a name to my pain and it is Batman"...The Joker, Batman (1989)

" We're Gonna Make Them Eat Our S*** , And Then S*** Out Our S*** , And Then Make Them Eat Their Own S*** Wich Is Made Of Our S*** That We Made Them Eat!"



-------from JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

(Two guys while was boobs on television)

Guy #1: "I like knockers..."
Guy #2:  "I like knockers too..."
(knock on door)

Guy #1:  "Somebodys knockin..."
Guy#2:  "I like knockers too..."

Redneck Zombies

Ramsley: Damn you. Damn you all to Hell!

From The Haunted Mansion (2003)

"I've had it with these muthaf***ing dinosaurs in this muthaf***ing park"*.....Samuel L Jackson, Jurassic Park










*I might have made this one up. :wink:

"DOES T-REX LOOK LIKE A B*TCH!"

"It's not a crime to be good at kung fu!" --KUNG FU HUSTLE

Here's a few from Shogun Assassin:

 Daigoro: Sometimes if you want to take a bath, you have to take a chance.


Daigoro: At night, we make a fire, and have our tea, and we listen for the ninja, who never make a sound.

Daigoro: When we're on a mission, I keep count of how many ninja my father kills. He says not to keep count, only to pray for their souls. But if I don't keep count, I don't know how many souls to pray for. So I keep count. So far it's three hundred and forty-two.
(three ninja women ambush Lone Wolf. He swiftly kills them)
Daigoro: Three hundred and forty... five.


Master of Death: (his jugular fatally slashed) Your technique is magnificent.
 When cut across the neck, a sound like wailing winter winds is heard, they say. I'd always hoped to cut someone like that someday, to hear that sound. But to have it happen to my own neck is ridiculous.

"The mediator between the HEAD and HANDS...MUST BE THE HEART!" -- Metropolis (1927)

"The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity."

-Legend (1985)

"Dogs and cats living together..."     -   Dr. Venkman, Ghostbusters

"...horror and mortal terror are your freinds...if not-they are enemies to be feared..."

APOCALYPSE NOW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGosYIlXdmU

"John, I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes. I'm going to shoot you between the balls."

-Commando (1985)

"During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

- Ghostbusters

"Ignore the bird. Follow the river."

-Willow (1988)

 :bouncegiggle:

"Remember : No matter where you go, there you are."

Buckaroo Banzai

"My Son Is Sitting Here Right Now With His Hand Glued To His Penis!.......But That Dosn't Bother You Does It?!!........Because You Don't Have A Penis!........
OR MAYBE YOU DO!!!"



Eugene Levy Says This To An Old Lady In The Movie AMERICAN PIE 2

"That's Italian. Means we kick ass!"

- Ray the henchman explains what "Quo vadis" means - Eliminators (1986)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZCr_ikAPkU

"22 years. Man, L.A. has changed a lot during that time. The air got dirty and the sex got clean."

-Point Break (1991)

"The worms are in their brains" Some chick, Slither

"There will be no Wubens, no Weginalds, no Wudolph the Wed-Nosed Weindeers."

- The Life of Brian

Torgo: "I am Torgo.  I watch the place when the master is away."

- From Manos, the Hands of Fate.

" Moving pictures merely repeat what we have been told for centuries by novels and plays. Thus, a marvelous instrument for the expression of poetry and dreams (the subconscious world) is reduced to the role of simple REPEATER of stories expressed by other art forms". Luis Bunuel

 "Stick to the deal
 Don't ask names
 Don't look in the package"...Frank in The Transporter.

Colleen Sutton: "Nothing disgusts me. At the age of eleven I walked in on my father and a Shetland pony. Does that excite you?"

Ford Fairlane: "I don't know, I never met your father."

-The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane (1990)

HOBO:"easy easy you gotta calm down there!"
GARY:"i hurt people...i'm a d***!"
HOBO:"well being a d**k aint so bad....you see there are three kinds of people
d***s p*****s and a**holes , the p*****s think everyone can get along and the d***s just wanna f*** all the time without thinking it through
but then you got your a**holes and all the a**holes want is to s***
all over everything ,...and the P*****s might get mad at the d***s
once in a while .....because p*****s get f***ed by d***s
....but d***s also f*** a**holes....and if they didn't f*** the a**holes
do you know what you'd get?.....
 you'd get your d*** and your p***y all covered in s***!"



 -a hobo gives gary a pep talk in the movie TEAM AMERICA World Police

"Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff"

American Splendor

"Some big, hardboiled egg gets a look at a pretty face and bang, he cracks up and goes sappy! "

Carl Denham from King Kong-1933

 "I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say... ”Hey! Look at these!" She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it."

"Frank, snap out of it! You're looking at her like she was your mother for Christ's sake!"

the naked gun 2 ½: the smell of fear.

"your job will be to tell them death comes for them tonight
......and tell them eric draven sends his regards"



- THE CROW

"I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it."

-Tommy Boy (1995)

Let the gnomes play their sissy piccolos

- Futurama: Bender's Game

"You didn't see nothing old man. We're just five happy party clowns, sitting down to a plate of beef. White- powdery- beef."

-Shakes The Clown (1991)

"Wolfman's got nards!"

- The Monster Squad

Yukie: There’s no such thing as a happy ending in this world!
Makino:  Yes there is!  As long as you are willing to fight for it!

From Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow (American Edition, 2007)

Little Old Lady: I'm mostly gonna be doing the slots.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. Yeah. Do they have a lot of sluts in Las Vegas?
Little Old Lady: Oh, there are so many slots, you won't know where to begin.
Beavis: Whoa!

    -Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

"I have my resevations", Whitestar - The Lost Empire

"We are not role-models for your life"

-Lizzie Grey (The Metal Years)

Fezzik: “I just figured out why you give me so much trouble.”

Man in Black: "Why is that, do you think?"

Fezzik: “Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long. I've been specializing in groups. Battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.”

- The Princess Bride

"Luckily for you, I come equipped with my own air-bags"


Elvira's Haunted Hills

"Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous."

-Night Of The Comet (1984)

I seem to be waiting forever for that film to be in region 2 :bluesad:

"I Guarantee You Sir , And Without A Penny Of Charge....
The CLOSEST shave you Will Ever Know"


Sweeney todd

Egg: "Dallas, when a person doesn't have less on, they have?"

Dallas: "More on?"

Egg: "Exactly."

- Megaforce

"Insane asylums are filled with people who think they're Jesus or Satan. Very few have delusions of being a guy down the block who works for an insurance company."
     -Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

"Suck My Spinning Steel Sh*thead!"

-BAD TASTE

"The more you drive, the less intelligent you are"

Repo Man

"Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails! "
    -Burt, Tremors

"I invite you to a little entertainment, for madmen only, and for one price only--your mind." --STEPPENWOLF (1974)

"I am no longer Dr. Jenning... I have now become... someone else."

-Howard The Duck [1986]

"Dave Morris will marry my sister over my dead body."

"Unconventional, but not impossible"

-- the cheating wife and Vincent Price, The Tingler (1959)

"It's slime time"


Ghostbusters II

"What you are about to see is the REAL THING"

-Narrator, 'Pink Flamingos'

Edmond: I'm a furry!

From Rock-A-Doodle (1991)

Sgt. Botha: I was branded an idiot by everyone I knew!
Gideon Duma: They knew you well!

From The Power of One (1992)

P.S.

Fun Fact: This movie was Daniel Craig's first movie appearance.  He played Sgt. Botha.

CHODE: after thorough examination i have concluded that this woman died of natural causes

SERVANT WOMAN: she has been cut into ribbons!

CHODE: yeah well after that naturally she died




-TRIPPING THE RIFT: The Movie

"Well, f**k me gently with a chainsaw, do I look Mother Theresa to you?"
     -Heathers

"Did you hear the way she talked? All intelligent like."

-Staying Alive (1983)

" I'm Gonna Rip Your T*ts Off And Eat Them!"




-THE RAGE

"When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing."

-Rambo

"Time to die"

Blade Runner

"I like slow, dark nights.  The vultures fly low.  That's when you can best hear the ominous sound of their wings rapping against the windows."   

-A Virgin Among The Living Dead

"This Is Worse Than That Night I Fell Asleep And You Put Your D**k In My Mouth And Took A Picture!"



- SOUTH PARK : Bigger Longer And Uncut

"you're fired! you're fired from everywhere! you're fired from the f*cking universe!"

-Hideous!

"That dog don't take to pettin', son"

-Hondo

"They're here!"

From Poltergeist (1982)

"Don't you ever do that again you mental midget!"

- The Bride of Re-Animator

"She wants to play lumberjack, she's going to have to learn to handle her end of the log. "

___ The Enforcer

"I hate it when they ain't been shaved."

-Near Dark (1987)

"I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!"

- Stepbrothers

"I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.  And I am all out of bubblegum."

-- Nada (Rowdy Roddy Piper) in THEY LIVE (1988)

Scorpion: "Suckers!"

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

"and don't think I feel sorry for you 'cause your daddy died. My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years, when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more, he thought he was God. Which made me Jesus. This s**t got pretty heavy"

I know it's long but it's from D.C. Cab.

"I have been, and always shall be, your friend."

I think we all know where that came from  :wink:

"You're gonna regret this the rest of your life... both seconds of it"

Demolition Man

"You're ten seconds away from the most embarrassing moment of your life!"

-Ford Fairlane

Driving Miss Daisy? :teddyr:

"I Have Taken The Brain Of A Lesbian And Implanted It In The Body Of A Man Who Works For The Telephone Company"




From The Movie
- Everything you ever wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask

"Game Over!"

From Street Fighter (1994)

" I Don't Know Where The Hell He Is And For All I Care He Could Be Hanging By His Neck In His F***ing Closet!"



- BASEKETBALL

Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty Bottoms: Oh, the Lips would be fine.

-----The Three Amigos!

Is this a test to determine whether I'm a replicant or a lesbian, Mr. Decker?

"And then they attacked a town. A small town I'll admit, but a town nonetheless. With people...people who died."

"we could talk or not talk for hours" - Best in Show

"Did You Ever Get Your A**hole Licked By A Fat Man In An Overcoat?"



-Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

"Time for a little robot chauvinism. "

Star Crash

King Koo Koo: Ready... Aim... Tickle!

From Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure (1977)

"My corns always hurt when they're near a monster. "

King Kong vs Godzilla

"The doctor said they're going to have to take off one of my boobies."  --GUMMO

"The worms are in their brains" - Slither

"When I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to hear whether it tastes good or not. Interrupt me again whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your f**king Jacobs off." - Brick Top, Snatch

"The Longer You Stay Alive The More Sex You Get To Have With Your Sister!"


- Lake Placid

"Soon after I killed myself, I found a job at Kamikaze Pizza." --WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY

"Game over, man." - Aliens

"I know..."
Han Solo's repsonse to Princess Leia's "I love you" in Empire Strikes Back

"Call me Mr. Lamb Fries! "

Funny Farm

"Every minute you do not tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger."

"Mine or yours?"

- Spies Like Us

"Get The Hell Out Of Here You F**king Pig And Leave Me The F**k Alone!"





- VAMPIRE'S KISS

Milo: You think you are so f**king cool, don't you? You think you are so f**king cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain...
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music.

     -The Last Boy Scout

"You're terminated, F****r." - The Terminator.

Every living thing on earth dies alone. . .
Roberta Sparrow (Grandma Death) - Donnie Darko

Not a film, , , But a good quote IMO:

"Who do you think is in there?"

-River Tam, watching a woman in labor.

Not so much the quote but the situation that makes that funny  :thumbup:

Bunny: (To Police Officer) Boo Woo!  Boo Woo!  These bad guys didn’t play fair!  I WANT YOU TO TEAR THEIR MISERABLE FACES INSIDE OUT SO THAT THEIR MOTHER DOESN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE THEM!  Pretty please?

From Cool World (1992)

"Goddammit, I'd p**s on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!" - WarGames

I was bleeding, I kept passing out, I wet my bed, and you never asked why!

-Mysterious Skin

Kowalski: Only two passengers unaccounted for, Skipper.
Skipper: That's a number I can live with! Good landing, boys! Who says a penguin can't fly?

From Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)

"A coos doctor in outer space? Man, you're flippin' out!"

-Vision Quest

"What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap?"

-Kingpin

"Poo HQ"

Kenny

"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."

- Arsenic and Old Lace

" There's Ass , Blood , And Guts Everywhere!!!"




- SCARY MOVIE

"It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes. "


-Repo Man

"Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn."

Airplane

"I don't want any white man lookin' at my Tampax"

-Desperate Living

"He's legally dead. We can do pretty much what we want to him."

-Robocop

"Great, grab a tool and start banging"

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

"The flesh. It should make the computer, uh crazy..."

-The Fly (1986)

"Now He Lives In The Park With The Guy Who Has No Legs"



-HEAVYWEIGHTS

"He tasks me! He tasks me, and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the Moons of Nibia, and 'round the Antares Maelstrom, and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up! Prepare to alter course."
-Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

"I'm not trying to date your balls. . . "

-Crackhead Cobra, Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters.

"I'm not doing it for you.  I'm just doing it.  I'd do it even if it was Santa Claus' daughter." -Fred Williamson explaining that he is not rescuing the police chief's daughter out of friendship in BLACK COBRA 

"Thank you, Mr. Acavano."

"That was the worst crack I've ever smoked"
-Crackhead Cobra, Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters.

"Will the owner of a 1972 white Matador with a s**t brown roof and a green interior please move your car. It's not blocking anyone but it is so f**king ugly you're driving down property values."

-Unseen Announcer, Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters.

"You think I like strolling around Newark in a charred coat, having to buy groceries for some guy whose car just blew up on me? When I'm 50 years old, maybe I want
somebody buying my groceries, having my car blow up on him. All right?"

- Wise Guys

"You're just an opportunistic prick who'd f%ck mud if it'd move a little and not complain too much. "


8 Million Ways to Die!

"Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave."

-Blade Runner

"Looks like somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy! "

-Men At Work

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."


Big Trouble in Little China as if I need to tell you.

Isn't that from Better Off Dead?

Dr. Jeremy Stone: When the bomb goes off there'll be a thousand mutations! Andromeda will spread everywhere! They'll never be rid of it!

From The Andromeda Strain 1971

"Oh aye, we've got a wee knife, it's got fangs and claws and ........ killer halitosis for all we know."  - David / Wild Country

I have Never seen Better Off Dead, but the line is definitely in Men At Work. It was said by Lewis when he finds Jack Berger while picking up the garbage with Carl and James. Great movie btw.

Actually, I think the line in Bod is, "Man, that's a shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that."  It's said by one black guy to another  who, IIRC, are working on cutting trees or working on telephone polls or something after John Cusack casually waves at them from within a garbage truck.  (Cusack's character was going to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, his buddy talks him out of it, then taps him too hard the shoulder, knocking him into a passing garbage truck.)

The lines ARE similar, so I could see where there'd be some confusion.

"After the Cold War, the AK-47 became Russia's biggest export. After that came vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists."

"There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?"

-Yuri Orlov, Lord of War

"I'm going to eat your brains and gain your knowledge..."

- the kid from Planet Terror [I believe]

"Now, if any of you sons of b****es have anything else to say, NOW'S THE F***ING TIME!"

Lucy Jui, Kill Bill

"This is the '90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first."

-The Last Boy Scout, Joe Hallenbeck

"Troubled childhood? If you consider a 9 year old kid with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled. "


Blades of Glory

They're eating her... and then they are going to eat me!  Oh my Ggggggooooodddddd!

From Troll 2

"Get with it. Millions of galaxies of hundreds of millions of stars, and a speck on one in a blink. That's us, lost in space. The cop, you, me... Who notices?"
-Collateral

"A Sherman can give you a very nice... edge"

Kelly's Heroes

"I Haven't Heard Screaming Like That Since My Cousin Tried To Shave His Pubes With A Rusty Kichen Knife"




 Larry The Cable Guy : HEALTH INSPECTOR

"Shake a leg, Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth; if she'd seen ya she'da died o' shame."
- Pappy O'Daniel, O Brother, Where Art Thou?

"Holy s**t!  It's the monster!  And he's got a bimbo with him!" --THE TOXIC AVENGER

"What's wrong Colonel Sanders....Chicken?!"

Space Balls

"Sometimes weird s**t happens, someone has to deal with it and who you gonna call ?"

Ghostbusters II

GIRL: "What Do You Do With The Rats?"


CREEPY GUY: "Why I Eat Them Of Course!"





    -MESSIAH OF EVIL

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time, , to die"

-Blade Runner

"I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your  stomach and break your god-damn spine!"


-The Running Man (1987)

"Suck in the guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters"

Ghostbusters II

(Possibly paraphrased slightly) "Now put on these glasses or start eating that trash can!" -- Rowdy Roddy Piper, THEY LIVE.

"Your husband is dead. I don't know you."


-Robocop 2

"Lets Dance"

Mortal Kombat

"Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero!"

The Running Man

"Charlie Don't Surf!"

-Apocalypse Now

"Hairless pets. Weird"


Ghostbusters II

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood."


-Dodgeball

"I've never seen anybody get stabbed to death with a gun before."

- Netherbeast Incorporated

"There's one thing you gotta learn about women. They're all liars. And if they ain't liars, they're worse, laying for you with wedding music. Take that little dame from Oregon. All I was doing was tying her shoe laces and she starts beating me over the head with a preacher. Or that little thing from Minnesota, who tried to marry me while I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing, if it hadn't been for the parson's mercy, I'd have been hooked good, for good! You just can't trust women. No matter how honest they act, they all want to be wives! "

John Wayne(not me!) in North to Alaska

Lord James D'Ampton: Do you have children?
Lady Sylvia Marsh: Only when there are no men around.

-LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM

It took me a while to understand that.

Yikes.

Y'know there is a member of this board that Lady Sylvia Marsh reminds me of...

""Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise! "


History of the World Part 1

"When 'The Pirates of the Caribbean' brakes down, the pirates don't eat the tourists" - Jurassic Park.

"Whiskey and soda mix, not whiskey and science!"
--THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON

"Hospitable my ass! Get off my porch!"

Ma Boggs, Every Which Way But Loose

"Between your faith and my Glock nine millimeter, I'll take the Glock. "


Jericho Cane aka Ahnold in End of Days

Senator Vernon Trent: "You can take that to the bank!"
Mason Storm: I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!"


Hard to Kill

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
-Airplane!

"Our love will destroy the whole f***ing world!"

Fetishist in Tetsuo: The Iron Man

"Did they look like psychos? They were vampires. Psychos don't explode when sunlight hits them; I don't give a f**k how crazy they are!"

- From Dusk 'Til Dawn

"I Wasn't Born Into This World ... I Was Created ... And My Creators Have Used
And Betrayed Me... So Now I Stand Alone!"



-Mewtwo

From The Movie POKEMON : Mewtwo Returns

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

Raising Arizona

"One night you'll close your eyes, and when they open I'll be there. It'll be time to die."

Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

"Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me whan I'm hungry."

The Incredible Hulk.

"Don't F**k With People Who Handle Your Food"


-Waiting

Kathie Moffat: "Oh, Jeff, I don't want to die! "
Jeff Bailey: "Neither do I, baby, but if I have to I'm gonna die last. "


Out of the Past

EXECUTIVE TO HOMELESS WOMAN: "'Neither a borrower nor a lender be"--Shakespeare.
HOMELESS WOMAN: "F**k you" -- David Mamet.

THE TOXIC AVENGER, PART II

"Garbage day!"

-Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

" I am the laaauuggghhh !"

Judge Dredd.

"What metaphor?  Have you ever been down there [Mimiai] at all?  Your balls stick to your legs like crazy glue."

From North

Y'know for kids (!)

Yellowbeard: Who're you talkin' about?
Mrs. Beard: The fruit of your loins, sugar drawers.
Yellowbeard: Are you mad, woman? I haven't got fruit in me loins! Lice, yes, and proud of 'em!

Colonel Zayas: Are you out of your mind?
Lt. Nikolai: No. Just out of bullets.

-Red Scorpion (1989)

You mean this isn't the first time a crime lord asked you to kill the gay son of a rival gangster to pay off a debt that belongs to a friend whose place you're staying in as a result of losing your job, your apartment, and finding your girlfriend in bed with another guy?~ Lucky Number Slevin

"To die-to be really dead-that must be glorious!"- Bela Lugosi in DRACULA.

"Roads ? Where we're going we don't need roads."

BTTF

It was a rhetorical question!!~ The cottage

"I've Come To The Conclusion That We're Completely F**ked!"


-Cannibal the musical

"Two things I always carry are Tampax and Ringdings"

The Stepford Wives

Claire Wellington: I asked myself, "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?"  Connecticut!"

The Stepford Wives (2004 Remake)

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does."

- Captain Spaulding, Animal Crackers

"You can call me Dad, you can call me Father, you can call me Jacob and you can call me Jake. You can call me a dirty old son-of-a-b***h, but if you EVER call me Daddy again, I'll finish this fight."


John wayne as Jacob 'Big Jake' McCandles...Big Jake

Alan Seitz -  "Oh don't worry Ivan, it's just your foot. See, this is what we in the bureau call an extremity shot. Generally the victim survives. They don't do so well with what we call a torso shot."

Pat Greer -   "So what do you think, Ivan? Would you like to experience a torso shot?"


F.B.I. agents in "Big Trouble"

"Truth, you know you're strong. You're pretty and you're smart, and they hate you for it. It makes them insecure. But if you chop off your hair, and destroy your body, and dumb down your score....all you've done is become weak, ugly, and stupid. And that's not you."

Unknown Person

From Odd Girl Out (2005)

BLIND GIRL: "I'll never have to see ugliness... or war... or poverty... or pollution... or the Chevrolet Nova."

TOXIC AVENGER 3

Johnny: I think you are just a big bully, picking on those smaller than you are!
Ro-Man: Now I will kill you.
Robot monster

"Welcome to the party, pal !"

Die Hard

"We gonna need some more FBI guys"

Die Hard

"Professor LoooOOOOOooooove-craft!"

Angie Lem, PTERODACTYL (2005)

"we can eat their brains after we repair the ship"



- Attack Of The Monsters

Dr. Peter Venkman: "Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries."

STU: "You're literally too stupid to insult."
ALAN: "Thank you."

--THE HANGOVER

Rufus T. Firefly: "Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth."

Chicolini: "Tell you what I'll do; I'll take five and ten in Woolworth."

- Duck Soup

"I'll let my hammer speak for itself"

Steel

"I'm Goin' On Safari Motherfu**er!"


- DEATH TO SMOOCHY

I thought you of all people would appreciate efforts to deconstruct the colonialist paternalistic agrarian hierarchy that disenfranchises the Tangata Whenua and erodes the natural resources of Aotearoa~ Black Sheep. 

"Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, braggin' on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy."

- O Brother, Where Art Thou?

"I'm gonna shove one of those electric hearing aids so far up your a** that you'll be able to hear your small intestine as it produces s**t!"


-STEP BROTHERS

"It's like Day of The Dead without the helicoptor"

Evil Aliens.

"Nobody Tosses A Dwarf!"


-Gimli FromTHE LORD OF THE RINGS : The Fellowship Of The Ring

"It's just like Vietnam, but without the fun of shooting back!"

Luke - The Gilmore Girls

Rinaldi Vivaldo: What are we supposed to do? Stay here and have our asses chewed out by our mothers?

From Flesh Eating Mothers (1988)

"Lets See How They Like The Taste Of My......C**k Rocket!"




-ORGAZMO

I will personally rip your heart out of your ass and shove back down your throat.

From Barb Wire

"I agree it's an adrenaline fueled thrill ride, but there's no way you could perpatrate that much carnage without generating a considerable amount of paperwork."

Sergeant Angel - Hot Fuzz

"To take a cold shower, I've got a date with a soap on a rope!"

-Friday 13th Part VII: The New Blood

"Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing."

- Rufus T. Firefly, Duck Soup

"I'm a man, not a fish."

-Highlander (1986)

Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear~ The breakfast club.

Comstock: [McCreedy is going to search for Kevin] McCreedy, if you dare to abandon your post, you are FIRED!
McCreedy: Well, good! It saves me the trouble of quitting.

From Hobogoblins

"The rent was high but it was worth it for those chicks, those big FAT CHICKS"

-Ford Fairlane

You show me how to control a wild f*****g gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster~ Snatch

" It Takes A Long Time To Die Of Pain!"


-NIGHTMARE CASTLE

"There was a hotel heiress who dyed her hair blonde.  But the drapes didn't match the carpeting.  And the hardwood floor underneath was all scuffed and dirty."

- The Ruins

"I'm an artist first, then a businessman, , then a foot fetishist"
-Terror Firmer

Tom Hanks: Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.

From The Simpsons Movie

"I think what you better do is uhh, get him in a headlock and kick him in the butt, then stuff the little s**t back in the trophy..." -- the Janitor, SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA

"And where do you live, Simon?"

"I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc."

     -Session 9

"You Picked The Wrong Plane You Terrorist F**K!"

Harold and kumar: escape from guantanamo bay

"This band of miscreants, this very evening, interfered with a lynch mob in the performance of its duty."

- O Brother, Where Art Thou?

"What in the ding-dong-heck-a-ma-doodle-hell is that?"
         -Seedpeople

Sure that isn't a quote Ned Flanders said?



"If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key."

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

"Nihilists! F*ck me... I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

--The Big Lebowski

(http://seesdifferent.files.wordpress.com/2006/07/biglebowski.jpg)

"We're gonna nail that guy, then we're gonna go eat fish off those naked chicks!"

-Showdown In Little Tokyo

Ishmael: "You should try to quit [smoking]. They say its bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process..."
Roy: "Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say its harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke!"

--Kingpin, 1996

(http://www.virginmedia.com/images/hair_Kingpin-43x1300.jpg)

Was that a goat?

Officier Kramitz - Big Trouble

"I want to be rich and famous, I'm already good looking"

Hollywood Knights

From the "my, how times have changed" file:

DETECTIVE: Alice, will you marry me?
ALICE: What for?
DETECTIVE: So I can beat you.  It's the only way I can get you out of here.

--BLACK DRAGONS (1942)

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery but, today is a gift, that is why it is called present.

From Kung Fu Panda (2008)

"Don't rush me, Brady. Timing's got to be primo."

-Halloween 4

"I've had this taste in my mouth before"

Mrs Freedman -Hollywood Knights.

CHEMIST:"When The Two Chemicals Are Mixed Together In The Exact Ratio They Form A Liquid Fertilizer , It's As Clear As Water But You Wouldn't Want To Smell It"
FRIDAY: "Why Is That?"
CHEMIST: "it burns the eyes , lungs and throat causing vomiting and if continuously inhaled it causes death"
STREBECK: "oh sort of like your aftershave Friday"


-From The Movie DRAGNET

"Hee grabz zit wiss hiss DEEK!"

- Hollywood Knights

[Hallenbeck and Dix are trying to tell the bodyguards in a car about a bomb]
Joe Hallenbeck: Now what are you doing?
Jimmy Dix: I'm drawing them a picture.
Joe Hallenbeck: What's that?
Jimmy Dix: It's a bomb.
Joe Hallenbeck: It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines coming out of it. What are they gonna say, "don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit"?
Jimmy Dix: Do you want to draw the damn thing?
[Dix shows Hallenbeck the draw of a bomb with "bom" written below]
Jimmy Dix: Happy?
Joe Hallenbeck: Are you kidding me?
Jimmy Dix: [shows the drawing to the bodyguards] Always criticizing my s**t. I can't do nothing right.
Jimmy Dix: [the bodyguards shoot at them] Oh, s**t!
Joe Hallenbeck: I forgot to tell you. "Bom" means "f**k you" in Polish.
Jimmy Dix: Hey, that's not funny, man. I almost bought it there!
Joe Hallenbeck: Tragic loss to the art world, let me tell ya.
              -The Last Boy Scout
         

"Not LATE Mother, LAID. The past participle of the verb "to lay". Mother, I am going to screw someone. . . Now, I just have to figure out how."

Dudley -Hollywood Knights

"Don't pay me, pay the bartender you ridiculous douche" -Porky in " Porky's "

"He's going to FART the song!!"

The Ironbox Twins -Hollywood Knights

"A people should know when they are beaten."

"Would you, Quintus?  Would I?"

Decius Maximus in GLADIATOR

"You squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth or you're going Downtown!"

Officer Bimbo -Hollywood knights

"Well, it sounded like the scream came from down here... Right, let's look upstairs."

-Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare

Lt. Robert Nunally: Your wife? Is she OK?
Ted Crawford: I don't think she is. I shot her.

From Fracture (2007)

"These guys have it easy, when I was a pledge they made me climb a greased pole naked and they shoved eggs up my butt"

-Hollywood Knights

ghouck- I looked up hollywood knights at netflix and it's some movie with tony danza from 1980.  is that the same one you are repeatedly quoting?

Yes, it is. It's one of my favorite movies, a must for any gearhead that has never shed his 6th-grade sense of humor.

"If you're going to lead people, you have to have somewhere to go."

-Rumble Fish

"Get these overpriced sewing machines OUTTA HERE!"
Officer Bimbo -The Hollywood Knights

"I Haven't Had This Much Sex Since I Was A Boy Scout Leader!"




From THE NAKED GUN 2 1/2 : The Smell Of Fear

"I am Arthur Frayn, and I am Zardoz. I have lived three hundred years, and I long to die. But death is no longer possible. I am immortal. I present now my story, full of mystery and intrigue - rich in irony, and most satirical. It is set deep in a possible future, so none of these events have yet occurred, but they *may.* Be warned, lest you end as I. In this tale, I am a fake god by occupation - and a magician, by inclination. Merlin is *my* hero! I am the puppet master. I manipulate many of the characters and events you will see. But *I* am invented, too, for your entertainment - and amusement. And you, poor creatures, who conjured *you* out of the clay? Is God in show business too? "


...Zardoz.  for some reason this movie has become strangley popular in my department lately. Everyone quotes it. Very bizarre stuff for a subdued office enviroment.

"I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS f**kING COUCH!"

-The Thing (1982)

Doug: "You know what we're going to do when we get our own club?"

Steve: "Get In?"

A Night at the Roxbury

Is this 'p**s yellow'?

Gone with the wind, , , , , just kidding, , it's from Hollywood Knights also. . .

Some take that DVD away from him !  :lookingup:

It's a great movie, , name one other movie where someone farts the song "Volare"!

"You can't get pregnant this way"
 -Hollywood Knights

Gayle Sweeny: I know why you are here, so don't BS a BSer, Ok? Your "Presence" here, court ordered.
Danny: Why did you put presence in quotes? Are you implying that we aren't here?


Gayle Sweeny: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bulls**t and Dr. I'm-full-of-s**t?
Wheeler: In what way are we full of s**t?
Danny: Which one of us has the Ph.D?

-Role Models

"And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. Wouldn't look nice on my highway. You can think about it, but don't do it."

- Sheriff Buford T. Justice, Smokey and the Bandit

"Using the concept 'sick' to minimize and disparage draws a veil across a reality which you are in no position to interpret." 

--Dee Snider in STRANGELAND, leaving open the possibility that we are in a position to interpret the concept 'stupid'

GUY ON THE PHONE : "She Even Gave Me A Blumpkin!"
KUMAR : "What's A Blumpkin?"
GUY ON THE PHONE : "That's When A Girl Gives You Head While You're On The Toilet Taking A S**t!"



-From HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb."
Batman

"I'm a PIMP, , and Pimps don't commit suicide. . "

-Southland Tales

 :buggedout:

Someone check on ghouck !

He hasn't made a Hollywood Knights quote !
I'm worried about him !

"It does have a little WANG in it, , good though, mind if I have some more? "
Officer Bimbo, after drinking punch that had been peed in

-The Hollywood Knights

MAN: Is it possible, doctor, for a man to be normal, say, for 2 or 3 months at a time, then go totally insane for an hour or two?
PSYCHIATRIST: Yes, quite common.

--Invisible Ghost

"He's got syphilis of the brain!"
   -Motel Hell

"I'm a Derek, Dereks don't run."
--BAD TASTE

"If only my life could be more like the movies. I want an angel to swoop down to me like he does to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" and talk me out of suicide. I've always waited for that one moment of truth to set me free and change my life forever. but he won't come. it doesn't happen that way. "
       -Prozac Nation

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.

They live

Lorne Lutch: You look like a nice enough fella. What are you doing working for these a***oles?
Nick Naylor: I'm good at it. Better at doing this than I ever was at doing anything else.
Lorne Lutch: Aw, hell, son. I was good at shooting VC. I didn't make it my career.

    -Thank You For Smoking

DR. CALIGARI: "Your wife has a disease of the libido."
MR. VAN HOUTEN: "Speak American!"

--DR. CALIGARI

"Dad I'm going to my room with three strange men"

Mystery Men

"I'm Black Y'all, and I'm Black Y'all, and I'm Black and I'm Black and I'm Black Y'all. . ."

CB4

"The wine, there must have been something in it!"

"Not the wine, my nipples!"

--NINJA CHAMPION

"I'll Take That New BMW Of Yours And Cram It Up Your Tight A**!"


CADDYSHACK 2

"Most people don't know how they're gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles."


-Drugstore Cowboy

"Take me to the hospital, I've been blown up..."
The Burbs

"Okay, you can help me kill them if you like, but I'm still going to kill you.  It's over, George!"

--NINJA CHAMPION

"Death to Videodrome! Long live the new flesh!"


-Videodrome (1983)

"When I wake up in a mans room, he better pay me"
Elvira's Haunted Hills

"We ninjas are getting bored.  Can we start now?"

--NINJA CHAMPION

"Honey, you're from Los Angeles. The wildest thing you've ever heard is Wolfman Jack."


-The Howling (1981)

Sidney Wang: What meaning of this, Mr. Twain?

Lionel Twain: I will tell you, Mr. Wang, if you can tell me why a man who possesses one of the most brilliant minds of this century can't say his prepositions or articles! "What is the," Mr. Wang! "What is the meaning of this?"

Sidney Wang: That what I said! "What meaning of this?"

- Murder by Death

"two in the chest,one in the balls" Flight of the Living Dead

"You know how we women are; I'd like to go to my death looking my delectable best."

--NINJA CHAMPION

"Dad, they're not really bad, they're just... stupid"


-Spaced Invaders (1989)

"You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence."

--Time Bandits

"HERE, , wash this. . "

-History of the World Part 1

"Did they look like psychos, is that what they looked like?  They were VAMPIRES!  Psychos do not EXPLODE when sunlight hits them; I don't give a f**k how crazy they are!"
    -Seth Gecko, From Dusk to Dawn

"He shot an old lady and a puppy!"

-Traxx (1988)

ALEX : "You spent all of our rent money on hookers?!!!"

ALEX'S ROOMMATE : "They're Not Hookers!....They're Massage Therapists!"

ALEX : "They're Women Who Massage Your C**k For Money ....There's A Word For That ......It's Called A Hooker"



From The Movie GRANDMA'S BOY

"I should have known it. The rest of the world doesn't exist. " -Francesco Dellamorte

"Even if you WERE my brother, I'd still want to f**k you. . "

-A Fish Called Wanda

"Earthman, your Mickey Mouse is one big stupid dope!"

-EnemyMine (1985)

"If Nobody Gets In My Way Then Nobody Gets Hurt"



Michael Douglas In The Movie
FALLING DOWN

"You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading The Land of the Free in history books. Then they get to be men they forget even more. Liberty's too precious a thing to be buried in books, Miss Saunders. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: I'm free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn't, I can, and my children will. Boys ought to grow up remembering that." -- Jefferson Smith (James Stewart), MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON

"Would a cop taking a leak on the side of the road interest you?"

-Smokey & The Bandit

"You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid.  You just gotta go, 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'"
            -Tank Girl

"I won't give you a hand! Christ she's dead... Leave her alone!"

-Demoni (1985)

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [on the ship's intercom] This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.

      -Serenity

"But Bernie! The Maserati......THE MASERATI!!"

-Weekend At Bernie's" (1989)


...God I love that!  :bouncegiggle:

"Sweetie, get mummy's bazooka." - Harley Quinn

Batman Beyond: The Return of the Joker

"My whole body is an engine. This is a fireplug"

-Over The Top

FOX MULDER : This is not an exact science. If it were me, I'd be on the guy 24/7. I'd be in bed with him kissing his holy ass.
 
DAKOTA WHITNEY: Father Joe is a convicted pedophile.
 
FOX MULDER: Maybe I'd stay out of bed with him.



X FILES : I Want To Believe

"Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who mocks him and laughs at him as he's repeatedly crushed and maimed! Hope you'll enjoy it!"

-UHF

"Once you've been there... Once you've seen it... You never wanna go again unless you absolutaly *bleep*ing have to... It's like France" - Lt. Gen. George Miller




In The Loop

"There's a dead chick in my bed and the world's gone mad!!!"
-Seth, Hell Night

Ginger: "You guys want some sandwiches?"

Gang Member: "But Lester's dead."
[points to Lester's hanging body]

Ginger: "Well, no sandwiches for him."

-Cherry 2000 (1987)

Winston Smith: "In accordance to the principles of Doublethink, it does not matter if the war is not real, or when it is, that victory is not possible. The war is not meant to be won. It is meant to be continuous. The essential act of modern warfare is the destruction of the produce of human labor. A hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance. In principle, the war effort is always planned to keep society on the brink of starvation. The war is waged by the ruling group against its own subjects. And its object is not victory over Eurasia or Eastasia, but to keep the very structure of society intact. Julia? Are you awake? There is truth, and there is untruth. To be in a minority of one doesn't make you mad." - "1984"

"What do you make of this?"
"I know, what did you make of the trailer?"
"Yeah, this wasn't pushed in, it was pulled out."

Conversation between Sgt. Peterson and Officer Blackburn of the New Mexico State Police.

"The smell of garbage turns me into a wild woman!"

-Bad Girls From Mars

"It stinks!"

--POD PEOPLE

"Poontang is the grubby little middleman you must go through to get the girls."

Master Shake, ATHF Colon Movie.

"There Are Only Two Things That I'm Afraid Of  , One Is Seeing My Uncle Wearing A Thong And The Other Is Rats"




From THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO

"I don't want you playin that foosball!" Kathy Bates "the waterboy"

"Did you see this? Huh?? NYPD means 'I will Knock Your Punkass Down!"
              -Men In Black

"You ain't going to tie me up"

"Then I'll just have to kill you Childs"

-The Thing (1982)

Lets dance - Jonny Cage


Mortal Kombat.

"Dr. Blake wouldn't be on TV if he wasn't good!"

-The Brain (1988)

"You Need To Smack Her In The Face And Say 'THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOUR S**T YOU F**KING B**CH!"



Cartman In The Movie SOUTH PARK BIGGR LONGER AND UNCUT

"I've seen better film on teeth."
Get Shorty

 :wink:

K-k-k-ken is c-c-c-coming to k-k-kill me!

A Fish Called Wanda

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

-Joker, Dark Knight

"We had a sound powerful enough to turn goat p**s into gasoline"

-The Blues Brothers

"You know nothing of hell."

Pirates of the Caribbean

"I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!"

-Super Mario Bros.

"What about the twinkie ?"


Ghostbusters

"Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."

-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"I Am Everything You Ever Were Afraid Of!"




Pennywise From Steven King's IT

"I see you, chocolate man"

-Dawn Of The Dead (1978)

"I was FROZEN TOday!"

From Suburban Commando

I showed my friend The Nostalgia Critic and Suburban Commando was the ep. That`s what he`s been saying all the time for the past week, oh and variations.

"I think I could turn and live with animals. They are so placid and self-contained. They do not lie awake in the dark and  weep for their sins. They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God. Not one of them kneels to another or to his  own kind that lived thousands of years ago. Not one of them is respectable or unhappy, all over the earth."

-The Wicker Man (1973)

Hades: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, AND YOU'RE WEARING HIS MERCHANDISE!?!?!?

From Hercules (1997)

"Who put the 'glad' into Gladiator?"

Hurcules

V: "But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty you need only look into a mirror."

V for Vendetta

"Throw away the cross. Face the master. Faith against faith."

-Salem's Lot (1979)

PEP STREBECK : "You Just Ran A Four Way Stop Sign!"

JOE FRIDAY : "It Felt Good!"



From The Movie DRAGNET

Milo: Oh, my decision? Well, I-I think we've seen how effective my decisions have been. Let's re-cap. I lead a band of plundering vandals to the greatest archaeological find in recorded history, thus enabling the kidnap and/or murder of the royal family, not to mention personally delivering the most powerful force known to man into the hands of a mercenary nutcase who's probably gonna sell it to the Kaiser! Have I left anything out?
 
Dr. Sweet: Well, you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.
 
Milo: Thank you! Thank you very much.

From Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

"I am rumor. It is a blessed condition, believe me. To be whispered about at street corners. To live in the other people's dreams... but not to have to be."

-Candyman (1992)

Do you want some, Joshua?-Troll 2

"Someone's in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soooul!"

-Evil Dead II (1987)

Count Olaf: Hello, I'm looking for Dr. Montgomery Montgomery. My name is Stephano, I am an Italian man

From A Series of Unfortunate Events

Each Voyage has it's own Flavor.

-The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

"When you give up your dream, you die."

-Flashdance (1983)

"The weight of a daughter; too much for a father with no hands."

--COWARDS BEND THE KNEE

"Why does eveything in my life have to be such a compicated disaster ?" - Joyce


American Splendor

"In my situation, days are like women - each one's so damn precious, but they all end up leaving you."

-Assault On Precinct 13 (1976)

"And So I Told Her It Would Be Like Waving A Stick In The Grand Canyon"



-From The Movie FREAK OUT

"I could easily kill you now, but I'm determined to have your brain!"
   -Dr. Obrero, Zombie Holocaust
 

"Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here!"  :bouncegiggle:

Baseketball

New day!

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

American Psycho

"I swear, you're like some type of c**k-blocking robot developed in some secret f***ing government lab." --ZOMBIELAND

Colleen Sutton: "Nothing disgusts me. At the age of eleven I walked in on my father and the Shetland pony he bought me. Does that excite you?"

Ford Fairlane: "I don't know, I never met your father."

-The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Officer Kondo: I'll tell you what. Remember, the next time, if you are naughty again... I'll shave your heads!

From Attack of the Monsters 1969

"Hey, hey, the cop s**t his pants!"

-The Pope Of Greenwich Village (1984)

"To obey - just like that - for obedience's sake... without questioning... That's something only people like you do."

--PAN'S LABYRINTH

"Eat a bowl of f**k"

-Night Of The Demons (1988)

"Sometimes Life Is Nuttier Than Squirrel S**t"


-From The Movie LIL' PIMP

"You Thought You Were Gettin' The Hole But Now You're Gettin' The Pole!"


Also From The Movie LIL' PIMP

"You're not wasting my time, I'm just cooling."

-Cool As Ice  :bluesad:

[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me.

From Shrek 2

Maybe this has been posted before but what the heck:

YOU DON'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DECLARE HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
--Slugs

"You see that one in the orange skirt? Make your pee-pee harder than a ten pound bag of nickel jawbreakers." -- Pop (George "Buck" Flower), CHEERLEADER CAMP (1988)

"The only difference between a brown-nose and a s**thead is depth perception."

-Peacemaker (1990)

"You killed yourself to make yourself immortal. Why?"
"To live forever."

--HOUSE OF THE DEAD

"James T. Kirk was a great man...but that was another life!"

Judge Dredd: I AM THE LAW!
Rico: (mockingly) LAW!

From Judge Dredd

“Men should be like Kleenex- soft, strong and disposable"

-Clue (1985)

"You know, I can hardly wait to find out whether there really is a sacred monkey."

-KING OF KONG ISLAND

Holy Bananas! It's a womans leg!

- Colour Me Blood Red

RALPH PARKER : "I Want An Official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200 Shot Range Model Air Rifle!"

SANTA : "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid!"



-A CHRISTMAS STORY

"That was my mother you just boned."

-Rockula (1990)

"The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a f**king hero"
     -Observe and Report

"Next time someone hands you an exploding ham, I'm gonna pass the mustard!"

-Trancers II (1991)

Dug the dog: My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.
[he jumps up on Carl]
Carl Fredricksen: Wha...
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!
[looks to distance for a few seconds]
Dug: My master is good and smart.

From Up (2009)

"You Will Be The Perfect Wife For Me ....After A Few Physical Alterations"



-From DIE YOU ZOMBIE BA****DS!

"One thing I've learned is, never trust a corpse."

I SELL THE DEAD

Aogaeru: Welcome the rich man, he's hard for you to miss. His butt keeps getting bigger, so there's plenty there to kiss!

From Spirited Away

Neil Patrick Harris: Why are you called Tits Hemmingway?
Tits Hemmingway: Because I have big tits, and my favourite writer is Hemmingway.

Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo bay

"Every year, I shine up my jingle bells for eight lucky reindeer." - Santa, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Rankin-Bass)

"This is music. Mu-sic. It's almost as important as food."

-Terrorvision (1986)

"The next time you f**k me Lipton, kiss me first".

Wanted Dead Or Alive (1986)

Wanted Dead Or Alive is a great film.

Ned Beatty: "I am a United States Senator!"
Mark Wahlberg: "Exactly." [shoots him in the head]

- from SHOOTER

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly:
Blondie:"I've never seen so many men wasted so badly."

"Zombies, exploding heads, creepy crawlies and a date for the formal. This is classic Spanky."

-Night Of The Creeps (1986)

"The gun is good. The penis is evil."

-Zardoz (1974)

"lt could be something l did for myself, to broaden my horizons. Like taking a pottery class." - Unfaithful

From Jingle All the way:
Arnold: Put That Cookie DOWN, NOW!!!

"You can't live with 'em,
you can't live without 'em,
there's something irresistiblish about 'em.
We grin and bear cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along!"
      -The Muppet Movie

Roddy Piper:

"I’ve come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum."

They Live (1988)

Ghostbusters:

Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.

"What the hell happened to Rosemary!"

-Demons (1985)

"Heroes don’t double amputate police chiefs and hurl 12-year olds into brick walls!" - CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER IV

"Remember, no matter what, it's better to be a live dog than a dead lion."

-Something Wild (1986)

"everything is queer today "



ALICE IN WONDERLAND from the 60's

"The most beautiful thing in the world is... smoking pot and f**king on a waterbed, at the same time."
-Pieces, 1982

Ira Kane: [Referring the alien creature] Snag it!
Harry Block: Snag it?
Ira Kane: Yeah. Come on, snag it and put it in the bucket.
Harry Block: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. YOU snag it!

From Evolution (2001)

"Some muthaf*ckas are always trying to ice skate uphill"

-Blade

"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

-Code Of Silence (1985)

"I prefer to keep mine in my butt"

-Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: MFFT

 “I couldn’t give a sh*t who this area belongs to, where I walk is mine!”  - Dubbed Version of The Tattoo Connection (1978)

"I'm Sherriff Gene Freak"

-Troll 2

" Man, you come right out of a comicbook "

- Enter the dragon.

Raymond Hurdicure: Sorry we're a few hours late, there, Ma, but you know how the kids... uh... hate old people.

- Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)

"If brains were bird s**t, you'd have a clean cage"-guy in Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) the greatest movie ever made

Patches O'Houlihan: [giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to f**k a doorknob out there!

    -Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.

~Blues Brothers (1980)

"What they don't know, don't show, just don't understand about being a menace to South Central whiles drinking yo juice in the hood, that's what it's all about Trey, that's what it's all about"

Loc Dog, "Don't be a Menace to South Central while Drinking your Juice in the Hood"

White Trash Man: Baby... get in the vehicle, baby!
White Trash Woman: I'm not getting in that vehicle!
White Trash Man: Baby, this is my gift to you!
White Trash Woman: What? Gift? That's not a gift, you freakin' stole this!
White Trash Man: I stole it to make it up to you, baby.
White Trash Woman: [sobbing] Well, tell me this, then - how could you sleep with my best friend, and not tell me about it?
White Trash Man: I told you about it, baby, but don't shoot the messenger!

- Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)

"If you weren't my brother, I'd put you out of my misery!"

-Alienator (1990)

-I declare war on anyone who sells drugs to this community.
* But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to this community.

-Black Dynamite

"May the bird of happiness fly up your nose."

-Bailout (1990)

I'm going to finish up with all of my Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996) (what a great movie!) quotes:

Raymond Hurdicure: So I hear dad's dead. Hey, is that egg nog?

Wally's wife: Were the handcuffs totally necessary, officer?
Cop: Well, actually, that was your husband's idea.

Another movie: Falling Down (1993)

Bill Foster: [to The Golfer that is having a heart attack] Yeah. And now you're gonna die, wearing that stupid little hat. How does it feel?

"I can't believe that guy called me a f**kface!"

-Bailout (1990)

"the point of the convoy is to keep the convoy going" -Rubberducky (Kris Kristofferson) Convoy (1978)

"They're gonna have a lot of clown paintings on their walls."

-Running Scared (1986)

 :thumbup:THIS QUOTE BRINGS THE FULL 100 POINTS! :cheers:

cop: what does he want?
harry: a car
cop: wadda ya gonna do ?
harry: give him one

dirty harry then drives the unmarked plymouth through the front doors of the liquor store. 
movie-The Enforcer

"Oh, but it's okay for you to cut my head off!"

-The Things With Two Heads (1972)

Jeff Trent: Ah, what's the use of makin' a fuss. Last night I saw a flyin' object that couldn't a possibly been from this planet, but I can't talk about it. I'm muzzled by Army Brass. I can't even admit I saw the thing!
-Plan 9 from outer space

Irony

"Give me the rod !"
"What about my head !?!"

Said back to back in the movie "Dungeons & Dragons".  I almost fell off my chair when I heard the actors say that.  Obviously, the script writers didn't proof read that scene.  :bouncegiggle:

Get to da choppa!

Dutch: You fall behind and you're on your own!

(spoken in best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice)

from Predator (1987)

"I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."

-Withnail & I (1986)

POLICE INTEROGATOR : "Where's Harvey Dent?"

JOKER : " What Time Is It?"

POLICE INTEROGATOR : "What Does That Have To Do With Anything?!"

JOKER: "Well You See ...Depending On What Time It Is .....He Could Be In One Place.....Or Several"



From THE DARK KNIGHT
It Was A Terrible Movie But The Joker Was Awesome

"Some guy was here to complain about police violence."
"Hm, what did he say?"
"The usual stuff: Outch, uh, outch, outch, . . . please! No, I will not complain again . . ."

"I was wondering, if you were driving 55 miles per hour and you collided with a runaway train, would it make ANY improvement on your face?"

-Licence To Drive (1988)

"The governement has been preoccupied with building a bigger p*nis for years."
-Evil Kung Fu guy from Black Dynamite

From Battlefield Earth:

Jonnie Goodboy Tyler: (Extremely overacting) Has anyone seen one? A monster? A demon? A BEAST? YAH!

Pure awesome!

Monco:[counting reward sums of outlaws he just killed] Ten thousand... twelve thousand... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... twenty-two. Twenty-two?
[a cowboy comes from behind, Monco turns and shoots him dead]
Col. Douglas Mortimer:Any trouble, boy?
Monco:No, old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.
- For A Few Dollars More (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059578/quotes)

"My Wife And I Had A Great Sex Life....Once A Week We Had Sex.....Then She Died....Then It Became Three Or Four Times A Week!"


SAY IT ISN'T SO

Danny McGavin: "...Makes us sound like a bunch of tampons."

Captain: "No. Tampons go someplace good."

-Colors (1988)

You missed! With a cannon!

-Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)

[Szpilman is discovered by the Polish army, wearing the German dress coat given him by Capt. Hosenfeld]
Wladyslaw Szpilman: No. Please. I'm Polish. I'm not a German.
Polish Soldier: Then why the f**king coat?
Wladyslaw Szpilman: I'm cold.
The Pianist.

Can I interest you in a night cap? / No, thank you. I don't wear them-naked gun

Various people singing: Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short.

- Hair (1979)

"I would appreciate it if you would not act like a walking hard-on while we're on the job."

-Stakeout (1987)

"Oh dear! The guests will have to eat hamburgers for dinner tonight."

Mrs. Fremont - BLOOD FEAST (1963)

"Oh my God... you're a wicked cool covert operative masquerading as a sex toy tycoon!"

--b***h SLAP

From A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors (1987):

[in Jennifer's dream]
Dick Cavett: Can I ask you a question?
Zsa Zsa Gabor: Why certainly.
[Dick Cavett turns into Freddy Krueger]
Freddy Krueger: Who gives a f**k what you think?

I don't remember the exact quote but these guys doing surveilence on Marcello Mastrioni in "the 10th victim" :  "typical Italian, just loafs around in the sun all day. like a turtle"

"I am completely out of ammo. That's never happened to me before."

-Burt Gummer, Tremors 2: Aftershocks

Groovy
-Bruce Cambell, Evil Dead 2

Commander-Do something violent!

Stephen Colbert as the President in Monsters vs Aliens

Tyler Durden: Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells "stop!", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
-Fight Club

"It's a damn shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."

Better Off Dead

"Hey Do You Know Who I Am?....I'm Heinz Hummer , The Gigolo With The Most Below , I Could Give You A Cambodian Creamsicle That Could Have You Screaming All Night Long.... But Not Right Now Cause I'm Busy So Leave Me Alone B**ch"



-Duce Bigalow 2

" If Your Friend Isn't Gay Then Why Was He Checking Out A Dead Man's Penis?"




Also From DUCE BIGALOW 2

I DO want your money, because God wants your money.
-Reverend Larry - Repo Man (1984)

[after picking someone's pocket]
Phillipe: I know I promised, Lord, never again. But I also know that YOU know what a weak-willed person I am.

- from Ladyhawke (1985)

larry: you know what a smart man would do at a time like this ?

deak: no, what ?

larry: I don't know, I thought you would know.

Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry

"come on i gotta take a p*** and my d**k aint gonna shake itself"


-SUPERBAD

"What's there to smile about?"

--O LUCKY MAN!

"This war's a god damn waste, I be glad to go home"
"Bastard! Better court marshal you!"  - hits Miles O'Keeffe

-Hells Heroes

That's a mistake most people only make once

man; holy cow! wadda use, a .38 ?

woman; .38 , .39, whatever it took.


MR. MOM

"Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most  powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck."

-The Dark Knight (2008)

"Kiss is kill"

Pontypool

"You're a nun, right? So it's easy to put souls into a mecha.  Fantastic!" --SAMURAI PRINCESS

"Start with the Germans, end the war with the Brits. How French can you get ?"

Female Agents.

" My tits are gonna rot off."
- Marla, Fight Club

"Dad, I'm surrounded by man eating chickens"

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

"Of course she hung up on you, it sounds like you smoked your underpants!"

--DEAD SNOW

The "Worst Comedies" thread put me in mind of one of the best...

Clouseau: Mrs. Loveliver, unless I miss my guess, you are the housekeeper?

Housekeeper: I have been with Professor Fasbinder for thirty years.

Clouseau: That would explain your exaggerated hysteria about a mere blemish on the furniture.

Housekeeper: But that was a priceless Steinway!

Clouseau: Not anymore. 

The Pink Panther Strikes Again

"here, this will calm you down" - puts his hands on her tittys

- An American Werewolf in Paris

"My corns always hurt when they're near a monster." - King Kong vs. Godzilla

larry;that's the fastest time this turkey's run. whadda do to it? (refering to the getaway car)

deak; just hit it with a bigger hammer.

Dirty Mary  Crazy Larry

"Hip hooray!  The cannibals are gone!"

--GAMERA V. GUIRON

"Anyway, you're going to love this place. It's a dynamite camping spot, and it's got a pond to p**s in."

Wilbur, Redneck Zombies

Mutant Cannibal: If I were you, I'd run.

Buddy: If you were me, you'd be good lookin'!

SIX STRING SAMURAI

Hahaha! Epic quote!  :bouncegiggle:

"The Earth was not made for us. She was made for the dinosaurs."

-Carnosaur

"Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while"

The Stuff.

Jules: What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERf**kER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm saying!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What, I-?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherf**ker. Say what one more goddamn time.
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a b***h?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A b***h?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to f**k him like a b***h, Brett?
Brett: I didn't.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to f**k him. And Marsellus Wallace don't like to be f**ked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

   -Pulp Fiction

"He's not really my father, he's my lover"

Leon.

A line that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time !

"You Better Never Come Back Cause If You Do We'll Tie You To A Tree And F**k You In The A** While We Jerk You Off!.....We'll Show You What We Do To Perverts Like You Around Here!"


 -SAY IT ISN'T SO

"I wanna draw some blood!"

-Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

"A census taker once tried to test me . I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs

Lewis: Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything.

from Deliverance (1972)

"I wanted to get back on welfare, be respectable..."--Holly Woodlawn, ANDY WARHOL'S TRASH

Clouseau, being booked into an asylum: That man is obviously crazy!

Clerk: Tut,tut, we don't use that word round here.

Clouseau: Well what word DO you use round here?

Clerk: Now, now.

Clouseau: Then he is very now-now, I can assure you of that.

Revenge of the Pink Panther

ASIAN MALE PROSTITUTE: "Hey I'm A Real Good Man-Whore .....Just Ask Your Mama!"

SECURITY GUARD : "Get Out Of Here!"

ASIAN MALE PROSTITUTE : "That's What Your Mama Say After I Bang Her!"




- Duce Bigalow European Gigolo

From Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus

Lamar Sanders: Those guys have been frozen in ice for millions of years. Wouldn't you be a little horny?

From The Phantom '96:

Drax: All right, what's your name? Why do you want that skull so badly?
The Phantom: Kit Walker.
Drax: Huh, and who is Kit Walker?
The Phantom: I am.
Drax: And what about the skull?
The Phantom: It'd go well with my drapes.

Main Villain: You may ask, why would I want to rule the world?  In order to obliterate Sweden!

From Superman: The Musical

Common Cohagen you got vat you want...gif these people earh.

The governator

Total Recall

"Ayyyyy, Rastafar-Eye..." -- Elijah's Giant Rasta Eyeballs with Machineguns, FREAKED

"Its slime time"

Ghostbusters II

Cohaagen: Who gives a s**t what you believe!? In 30 seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes.

- Total Recall (1990)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeh7uvdt5Tg

"I love the smell of justice in the morning"

Judge Dredd. - Dredd Vs. Death.


Yeah, its a game, but I love that quote !

Looks like we got ourselves a maniac on the loose huh, sheriff?

-Friday the 13th part V: A New Beginning

From Sherlock Holmes '09:

Sherlock Holmes: [voice-over] Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in ear: first point of attack. Two: throat; paralyze vocal chords, stop scream. Three: got to be a heavy drinker, floating rib to the liver. Four: finally, drag in left leg, fist to patella. Summary prognosis: unconscious in ninety seconds, martial efficacy quarter of an hour at best. Full faculty recovery: unlikely.

"Boobs. I got eight boobs here."  :teddyr:

Baberellas (2003)

Evil megalomaniacal villain: "I shall be the supreme illumined! I shall burn like thr brightest star!"

J.C. Denton: "You're gonna burn, all right."

Yeah, a game. Deus Ex. I still love it.

Zog: I'm old school. [STOMP!]

From Astro Boy (2009)

Hijack Leader: [cradling wrist where Eli has severed his hand] What are you standing around for? Kiss him!
Hijacker: What'd he say?
Eli: He's in shock. I think he meant "Kill Him."
      -Book of Eli

Max: "Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes."

Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war.
-General Chang Star Trek VI

Ah Klingon Shakespere.

Tallahassee (finding a bag full of automatic weapons in the back of a pickup truck): Thank God for rednecks!!
      -Zombieland

Cockroaches: {Forming the words} We live.

From Bug (1975)

"You Took My Winged Weiner!"



 -From The Movie WEINERS

Another one from Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig

"I guess we can’t punish Victor for bringing Sparky back from the dead."

--FRANKENWEENIE

"Meat sells itself Lorane! I wanna ride in a F***in car."
     -Blood Car


"...but look at me. I'm in a F***in car! Tackeling this rod like a princess."
     -Blood Car


"That's right! ...I've got free puppys and candy in the trunk."
     -Blood Car



These quotes wern't exact but as close as I can remember

Don't be asking him he's f**kin retarded! Sorry, no offense but you are, okay?~ State of Grace

Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Doctor Faggot. Doctor Faggot!
Stu Price: I should go.
Melissa: That's a good idea, Doctor Faggot.
    -The Hangover

"I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bulls***! I did not hit her! I did naaaaggghhht. Oh hi Mark."

-The Room (Best/Worst line ever spoken on film!)

LOL this movie is so awful and funny

From Kick-Ass:

Todd: Yeah! I think I'm in love with her, dude.
Marty: She looks like she's about 11 years old but...
Todd: I can wait! I solemnly vow to save myself for her.
Marty: I can see how that would be really difficult for you.

2 from the Seven Samurai:


Gisaku: What's the use of worrying about your beard when your head's about to be taken?

Kikuchiyo: You fool! Damn you! You call yourself a horse! For shame! Hey! Wait! Please! I apologize! Forgive me!

Yet another from Tallahassee:  "You wanna feel how hard I can punch?"

Monty Python and the Meaning of Life

Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord…
Congregation: O Lord…
Chaplain: …Ooh, You are so big…
Congregation: …ooh, You are so big…
Chaplain: …So absolutely huge.
Congregation: …So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we’re all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we’re all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and…
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.

They Live

Unnamed scientist- “The poor and the underclass are growing. Racial justice and human rights are nonexistent. They have created a repressive society and we are their unwitting accomplices…Their intention to rule rests with the annihilation of consciousness. We have been lulled  into a trance. They have made us indifferent to ourselves, to others. We are focused only on our own gain…Please, understand: they are safe so long as they are not discovered. That is their primary method of survival. Keep us asleep, keep us selfish, keep us sedated…”

Lt: Give me your badge

Callihan: Well, here you go Lt, a seven pointed supository.

Lt: What did you say?

Callihan: I said stick it up your a$$


movie  "The Enforcer"

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

Airplane!

Ned Nederlander: "Sew, very old one! Sew like the wind! "

                                ...........from The Three Amigos!

"See any family resemblance? HAHAHAHAHA!"

-A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

"come on let's go to the liquor store and watch your stupid i.d. get rejected"



-SUPERBAD

"I really do apologize, I’ve never tried to kill someone before.  It’s very unlike me, I wouldn’t want you to think I behave like this all the time." - SEA OF DUST

"A boy's best friend is his mother," Norman Bates

Psycho

Jack Moniker: I once met a proud, black man such as yourself, and I gave him a small piece of advise: wear one glove, just one glove. Do you know who that was?
Ernest Reed: No.
Jack Moniker: Willie Mays.

.............Club Paradise

"Even a wrist that is strong and firm and holds up straight by day, may become limp when the moon is full and the queerwolf comes your way." 

-from Curse of the Queerwolf

"I Keep Having This Dream Where Everything Is Covered In Semen"



-SUPERBAD

"Sharks don't take things personally, Sheriff Brody."
Marine biologist in JAWS 2

Probably the most intelligent line uttered in any of the JAWS sequels.

Jacob 'Big Jake' McCandles:" Well, son; since you don't have any respect for your elders, it's time somebody taught you some respect for your betters! ".............John Wayne in BIG JAKE.

From Wizard of Oz

Dorothy: Weren't you frightened?
Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.

Duke: You know all there is to know about fighting, so there's no sense us going down that same old road again. To beat this guy, you need speed - you don't have it. And your knees can't take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out. So, what we'll be calling on is good ol’ fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!
                            ..............................................from Rocky Balboa

"What would you do with a brain if you had one?"
    -Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

That's one of those great, "Out of context" lines.  I used to have that as a wav file on my computer.  :)

"They call me Mister Tibbs!"

From In the Heat of the Night

"Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, 'Yes!'"
    -Ghostbusters

Hey, Lep! f**k you, lucky charms!
-Alex from Leprechaun

"Wolfman's got nards!"

     - Monster Squad

[reading newspaper headlines]
Rex Kramer: Passengers certain to die!
Steve McCroskey: Airline negligent.
Johnny: There's a sale at Penney's!

"They're killing machines, but they are still fish"

Piranha (2010)

"Broke into the wrong G*ddamn rec room, didn't ya you bast*rd!"

From Tremors

Captain Alex Brunel: Twelve hundred lives.
Lt. Cmdr. Anthony Fallon: Not many lives that... I mean, not in the great scheme of things. Remember what the goldfish said? "There must be a god! I mean, who changes the water?"... Specks in the universe, Captain! Launch your lifeboats.

...................................................from Juggernaut (1974)

Santanico Pandemonium: I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me. You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog s**t from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery.

Seth: No, thanks. I've already had a wife.

-From Dusk Till Dawn

"Home? I have no home. Hunted. Despised. Living like an animal! The jungle is my home. But I will show the world that I can be its master. I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

-Dr. Eric Vornoff, Bride of the Monster (1955)

"Wake up, time to die."
-Leon, BLADE RUNNER

A long one, but a good one, from Stranger Than Fiction.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: I've devised a test. How exciting is that? Composed of 23 questions which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. Now Howard... Harold, these may seem silly but your candor is paramount.
Harold Crick: Harold. Ok.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: So. We know it's a woman's voice. The story involves your death. It's modern. It's in English and I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city.
Harold Crick: Sure.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. good. Question one. Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home? Anything. Gum, money, a large wooden horse.
Harold Crick: I'm sorry?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Just answer the question.
Harold Crick: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries in large luxurious homes to which you, let me finish, to which you may or may not have been invited?
Harold Crick: No. No, no, no.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Alright. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated?
Harold Crick: Assassinated?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: One being very unlikely ten being expecting it around every corner.
Harold Crick: I have no idea.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. let me rephrase.
[takes a deep breath]
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Are you the king of anything?
Harold Crick: Like what?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Anything. King of the lanes at the local bowling alley.
Harold Crick: King of the lanes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: King of the lanes, king of the trolls,
Harold Crick: King of the Trolls?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Yes, uh uh uh a clandestine land found underneath your floor boards.
Harold Crick: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Huh?
Harold Crick: No. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else?
Harold Crick: Like do I have someone else's arms?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well is it possible at one time that you were made of stone, wood, lye, varied corpse parts? Or, earth made holy by rabbinical elders?
Harold Crick: No. Look, look. I'm sorry, but what do these questions have to do with anything?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Nothing. The only way to find out what story you're in is to determine what stories you're not in. Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster, or a golem. Hmm? Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Good. Do you have magical powers?

"Why don't you get a Big Mac?"

From [Big] Mac and Me

"The woman is all we want. The others must die. They all must die. We do not even want the woman!"

--Manos, the Hands of Fate

From Last Airbender:

Prince Zuko: Who are you?
Katara: My name is Katara. And I'm the only Waterbender left in the Southern Water Tribe.

Kahuna: Why don't you try picking on someone half your size?
Tascha: Who the heck are you?
Kahuna: Your worst enemy, a small fry with a big attitude.

_Superbabies 2

"Everybody's got AIDS and s**t!"

    -Showgirls (and no, it doesn't make sense in context, either)

Harry Rowe: "Suzy, you're a broad. Get lost! "

              .....................The Skydivers (1963)

"I don't know, and I don't CAAAARE!"

-Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber talking to an undercover cop that is giving him her life story.

In memory of L. Nielson!

"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I AM serious... And DON'T call me Shirley!"

--Airplane

"CAN'T YOU SEE THIS ARM IS KILLING ME !"

 :teddyr:

Body Parts (1991)

Best line in PLAN 9...

"Well, one things for sure. Inspector Clay is dead...murdered...and somebodys responsable!"
No squat, Sherlock.

"GUMMY BEARS!!!"

Steve of Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Steve McCroskey from Airplane! :thumbup:

Tangled (2010)

Flynn Rider: [Response to sword fighting a horse with a frying pan] You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!

From Hombre

Paul Newman to Richard Boone  "I've  got a question, how are you going to get back down that hill?"

from Shoot-em Up!

Mr. Hertz: "Does anyone know what a Jimmy Cagney love scene is? It's when Cagney lets the good guy live. "

I must not let you die without making love.

Gwendoline.  :teddyr:

I got jumped by the parking lot police, they dang near killed me !  Hiram in the movie Blood Salvage

HOLY SH#T,  He Exploded Hisself!  From my all time favorite movie "Masters of Menace"

Here's two from The Greatest Show on Earth.

Angel: "Listen, sugar, the only way that you can keep me warm is to wrap me up in a marriage license. "


Narrator: We bring you the circus, pied piper whose magic tunes greet children of all ages, from six to 60, into a tinsel and spun-candy world of reckless beauty and mounting laughter and whirling thrills; of rhythm, excitement and grace; of blaring and daring and dance; of high-stepping horses and high-flying stars. But behind all this, the circus is a massive machine whose very life depends on discipline and motion and speed. A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it "The Greatest Show on Earth."

"Within my breast meat there is a famine,
No more sweets in the mammary cannon."

--Dr. Roland Chevalier's alien lullaby, from GENTLEMEN BRONCOS

They call me Squirt. Ya wanna know why? from Masters Of Menace

Only i didnt say fudge, i said The Word. The Big One. The Queen Mother of Dirty Words. The F - - - - Word

"And this one's for Paul Orndorff"

Big Money Ru$tals

Never mind that s**t!  Here comes Mongo! - Blazing Saddles

"A fate worse than a fate worse than death?  That's pretty bad!"
Blackadder

DORY: "You guys name the turds you find?"
O.C.: "The legendary ones name themselves."

INTERVIEWER: "So your art is basically toilet humor?"
O.C.: "Yes, there's toilet humor, but there's also toilet sadness... toilet tragedy... toilet triumph!  Toilet a lot of things!"

O.C.: "If you believe in living symbols like the Native Americans did, what kind of message do you take from a fluorescent blue fish, conceived from industrial cookies, born out of the asses of men?"

--THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION OF LITTLE DIZZLE

"If God has chosen you... if that's the truth, then man, this is going to tick off the Devil!"

"You're such a loser." Sheri, to the Devil.

--C ME DANCE

Hanner SR: You're violating my constitutional rights.
Jack Taggert: I will show you a new meaning to the word "violation".

from Fire Down Below

Bend over. Spread 'em wide.

Reform School Girls (1986)


Jack, you'd love it.  :wink:

Alexander Bullock: All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.

  From My Man Godfrey.

Junior: Junior go buggy (What the hell did he say there?)!

From The NeverEnding Story 3

Now, more than ever, we need the Jedi



The Men Who Stare at Goats

Stacey Pilgrim: I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?
Scott Pilgrim: Like... with jetpacks?

Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

Roxy Richter: Your BF's about to get eff'd in the b!

-Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Lane Myer: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

....Better Off Dead

How many? How many di*ks did you suck?

Clerks.

"The gravity is so close to that of earth's, that the atmosphere should be breathable!"
Prof. Konrad - Queen of Outer Space (on wearing spacesuits on Venus)

Bless our bikes, Bless our food, Hope our old ladies are in the mood- The predinner/food fight table prayer from Masters Of Menace

From The Omega Man, the most quotable movie ever! IMO

Matthias: One creature, caught. Caught in a place he cannot stir from in the dark, alone, outnumbered hundreds to one, nothing to live for but his memories, nothing to live with but his gadgets, his cars, his guns, gimmicks... and yet the whole family can't bring him down from that, that...
Zachary: Honky paradise, brother?
Matthias: Forget the old ways, brother, all the old hatreds.

Dr. Rudolph Frankenstein: Maria, you've already caused the death of three children and violated the graves of others just to make the experiments.
Dr. Maria Frankenstein: My, you're a humanitarian! You should have stayed in Europe and given pink pills to sweet old ladies.

   ......Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter.

"I can't believe I drank a moose testicle!"--ESCANABA IN DA MOONLIGHT

JESUS: Do you think the disappearance of these ladies of Sappho is somehow connected to the fact that these vampires can walk in the daylight?

--JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER

"JP Turned out to be a robot and he kidnapped your grandmother and he's going to eat her soul out of her head"


GRANDMA'S BOY

"in a few moments this mutant is going to dissolve into liquid and then the fat man is going to suck him through a straw"


 THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 2

"My tongue has been places you don't even know you got"

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

"Do you know what Dad will do if he finds out I lick your keyboard?" -DOGTOOTH

"Ma'am, that dog hasn't farted since March '78. " -Moving

Peachy Keane: Well, dear, we'll put this on the train to Atlanta and see if it whistles Dixie!
.................How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

"Fire doesn't cleanse, it only blackens."
     -Silent Hill

"Remember Norman, I'm the only one who loves you. Only your mother truly loves you."

-Psycho II

I guess if the earth were made of gold, men would die for a handful of dirt.
-Garden of Evil

"Nymphos!"
-Shock Corridor

"Distress. Distress. I am being penetrated."

Lexx: Eating Pattern.


Its a TV movie.

Nada: You see, I take these glasses off, she looks like a regular person, doesn't she? Put 'em back on...
[puts them back on]  ...formaldehyde-face!

Nada: [points to passerby] You, you're okay. [points back to woman] This one: real f**kin' ugly.

Another gem from They Live (1988)

Dr. Ned Jackson: "I'm convinced that we're dealing with a Mantis in whose geological world the smallest insects were as large as man, and now failing to find those insects as food, well... it's doing the best that it can."


.....................The Deadly Mantis.

Hope it's not on here yet....

Det. Cameron: I got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is your dates are here.

Sorority Girl: What's the bad news?

Det. Cameron: They're dead.

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Can a killa get a hotdog?

I am Dirty. Dirty Sanchez. I milk the sheep and give mustache rides for two bits.

Big Money Ru$tlas. .

"We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness."   :buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

O'Brien (Richard Burton) in 1984

Loved that movie. Also from it:

The Pope probably got wasted,  blessed the car, and drove it off a F%$#ing cliff. Don't let the hat fool you, the Pope's a crazy F$#@er.

Arlo: (after witnessing Crawford eating a banana without peeling it) "Aren't you going to peel that?"
Crawford: "I know what's inside it"

"I'll tell you what my problem is: I have a brain tumor"

"You're all going to die down here."
     -Red Queen, Resident Evil

"Do you like penicilin on your pizza?"  :buggedout: :buggedout:

 ~ Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles (1990)

"I once found a human spinal cord in my fecal matter."--RANGO

"Remember the good ol' days when bullets killed people?"

DEAD HEAT

Sammy Petrillo: This looks like Death not only took a holiday, but he got a hangover from taking it.


from Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla

"Pull the string!"

Bela Lugosi is Glen or Glenda

(http://i53.tinypic.com/2cpth7d.jpg)

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.

Dr. Frankenstein: What did he say?

Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"

Igor then continues to chew his food.

"Meat's meat and man's gotta eat!" - from the insanely awesome MOTEL HELL (go Rory, GO!!)

"I want to be educated, not just hairy!"
--THE PEANUT BUTTER SOLUTION